like I'm the only person who ever mixed a margarita in a sailor's mouth!
September 1, 2015 12:44 PM   Subscribe

How Many Men Did The Golden Girls Sleep With, Exactly?
Refinery 29 claims to have tallied up the numbers. (A quick summary courtesy of Jezebel.)

(and another summary from Buzzfeed if you like it with GIFs)

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Don't miss:
Challenger Comics is proud – maybe a little too proud – to present the first in a series of free-to-read comics: Team Gold Force 4 in “From Russian and Back Again”. With art from Felipe Torrent, and created and written by Ryan Ferrier, Team Gold Force 4 asks the question: What if TV’s The Golden Girls were actually living in old-folks witness protection, with decades of super secret government assassinations behind them?

Well, ask no more. Just keep reading.
*Golden is the New Black mashup video (youtube)
*Shit Golden Girls Say (art screenprint of the "Shit Girls Say" meme done with GG quotes)

*Golden Girls amigurumi crochet pattern
*Golden Girls House Scale Model-- 6151 Richmond Street Playset
*handmade pendants "in golden we trust": Sophia - Dorothy - Rose - Blanche
*Thank You For Being A Friend: Golden Girls Fan Art Activity Book
*Golden Girls poster (somewhat in the style of Alphonse Mucha)
*complete set of Golden Girl prayer candles

Buzzfeed Video - How To Play The Golden Girls Drinking Game
Mental Floss - 20 Fun Facts About 'The Golden Girls'
AV Club - In 1996, The Golden Girls reenacted Clueless

previously on MeFi:
*"Picture It, The London Palladium 1988"
*Why Gay Men Still Love "The Golden Girls"
posted by flex (54 comments total) 43 users marked this as a favorite


 
I used to watch golden girls with my great grandma and *her* aunt, who I guess was my great grand aunt? She was born in 1900. My Nana was born in 1915.

Anyways, I would have sleepovers at their house a lot and this was definitely part of the TV line up. I kinda always figured it was they had done when they were slightly younger because Nana was always jetting off to Hawaii and Atlantic City and wherever and that seemed wacky and zany to my child mind. Just like the Golden girls.
posted by sio42 at 1:00 PM on September 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


Great post. It's annoying that they didn't post their actual data, though, because while the numbers are probably right, they sound made up.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:01 PM on September 1, 2015


Yeah, I didn't want to editorialize, but if you took the time to rewatch all the episodes and tally up all the mentions, why not take the time to publish your data too? Feh. (Although... now I see a potential FanFare project in the making...)
posted by flex at 1:03 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


I can't help but think they're extrapolating "sleeping with" from "dated." There have to be a lot of references to dates or boyfriends that didn't pan out for the Girls.

I'm sure they still got more than their share, but the numbers are a bit at-odds with some of their (non-Blanche) personalities.
posted by explosion at 1:05 PM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


So that's what killed Bea Arthur.
posted by benito.strauss at 1:08 PM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


it is an unbearable outrage that all seasons aren't free on amazon prime.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:10 PM on September 1, 2015 [15 favorites]


Whenever I need to nap, I put something on TV that I know inside and out, so I often will pop on an episode of "The Golden Girls." I don't know if it's because the music and the jokes are so soothing, or just because Miami is nice.
posted by xingcat at 1:12 PM on September 1, 2015


Miami is nice, so I'll say it thrice.
posted by orange swan at 1:16 PM on September 1, 2015 [11 favorites]


So is intrauterine, it doesn't belong in a song!
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:20 PM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


There should have been a Golden Girls / Miami Vice cross-over.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 1:21 PM on September 1, 2015 [8 favorites]


And don't get me started on the Blanche Devereaux as Manimal cross-over.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 1:24 PM on September 1, 2015 [8 favorites]


I sing with a female trio sometimes, and we do some comic bits and songs. I usually take on the deadpan or the weirdo persona, but in one show a while back, I found myself getting all the sexy, double entendre lines. At rehearsal I jumped up and down and said, "After a lifetime of being Rose, I finally get to be Blanche for a change!" Everybody knew exactly what I meant.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:27 PM on September 1, 2015 [13 favorites]


This Ashley Madison business just goes on and on...
posted by srboisvert at 1:33 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


And don't get me started on the Blanche Devereaux as Manimal cross-over.

Bless him, St. MacCorkindale, for he knows not what he does.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:34 PM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


it is an unbearable outrage that all seasons aren't free on amazon prime.

Who ever gets the streaming rights to "Golden Girls" wins the streaming wars.
posted by drezdn at 1:38 PM on September 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


What if TV’s The Golden Girls were actually living in old-folks witness protection, with decades of super secret government assassinations behind them?

The Man With The Golden Girls?
posted by GuyZero at 1:42 PM on September 1, 2015 [17 favorites]


ALL OF THEM. ALL THE MEN. GOD BLESS THOSE LADIES.
posted by echocollate at 1:50 PM on September 1, 2015 [6 favorites]


God, I love the Golden Girls.

Did you know if you're in Florence and taking a rest from the afternoon heat in your hotel, they play reruns of The Golden Girls? But with no laugh track and dubbed in Italian the show is a much more dramatic, existential affair.
posted by Windigo at 1:54 PM on September 1, 2015 [16 favorites]


My mom tried to keep me from watching GG. I was almost in my teens and in my teens when it was on the air. She felt it was encouraging promiscuous behaviour. But we'd watch it whenever she wasn't paying attention, which was fairly easy on Saturday nights.
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 1:56 PM on September 1, 2015


So that's what killed Bea Arthur.

Actually, it's probably what kept her alive until turning 86. (Because I have no doubt that Bea's numbers were just as many as she wanted.)

And why Dorothy Zbornak is still alive in her 90s. (Because everybody has Golden Girls fan fic running in their head, right?)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:58 PM on September 1, 2015 [9 favorites]


Is inside joke.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:10 PM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


I was never really into this show and I'd actually actively change the channel when it came on (sorry) but my sarcastic son gave me this card for my recent birthday and it made me laugh out loud.
posted by chococat at 2:18 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


When I was pregnant and exhausted, my husband bought me the entire golden girls dvd collection. It remains my favorite baby related gift.
posted by Pardon Our Dust at 2:28 PM on September 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


Is inside joke.

oh duh.

I stand by my opinions re: Bea Arthur and Dorothy Zbornak's hypothetical/fictional sex lives though.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:28 PM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


I've got to get this off my chest... What did Dorothy ever see in Stan?
posted by drezdn at 2:41 PM on September 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


For younger viewers who have only caught the show in reruns, please see also....
posted by Oriole Adams at 2:45 PM on September 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


There's a lot of episodes on YouTube.
posted by griphus at 2:45 PM on September 1, 2015


For younger viewers who have only caught the show in reruns, please see also....

I just had a birthday, so I'm already feeling it, but nothing recently has made me feel older than the fact that those references needed to be explained to a younger generation.
posted by mudpuppie at 3:04 PM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


Originally, Dorothy went on one date to a drive in with Stan, had a one night stand with him thinking he was going to get shipped off (to Korea?) and going to die (read: pity-fuck) and that's how she got pregnant.

(Okay, I really like the Golden Girls, but I don't think of myself as a huge fan in a "trivia sense", but that's in my head without even looking it up.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:05 PM on September 1, 2015 [8 favorites]


Miami is nice, so I'll say it thrice.

Miami ... you're cuter than ... an intra-uter-ine !
posted by jpolchlopek at 3:41 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


Anyone looking to accessorize?
posted by jefflowrey at 4:07 PM on September 1, 2015


I don't have time to go through the links right now (and I will go through each and every one of these) but I wanted to say I love that this is sort of an anti-mega post, in that instead of a deep dive it's more like jumping in the pool and playing with a bunch of pool noodles.
posted by Room 641-A at 4:24 PM on September 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


Golden Girls is the best.

Sophia taught me the word bacciagalupe.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:31 PM on September 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


There should have been a Golden Girls / Miami Vice cross-over.

There was! Sort of.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:38 PM on September 1, 2015


Somebody, please do the tally, for Sex in the City...
posted by littlejohnnyjewel at 6:10 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


Fantastic timing on this, I'm in the middle of Season 3 on a Golden Girls marathon.
posted by conic at 6:11 PM on September 1, 2015


What if TV’s The Golden Girls were actually living in old-folks witness protection, with decades of super secret government assassinations behind them?

I just rewrote one of the pilot episode Burn Notice scenes using Ed Asner as Michael Weston and Betty White as Fiona Glenanne. I utilised a phonetic reading of Gabrielle Anwar's interpretation of what the Irish accent sounded like and, on paper, it looks incredibly racist so I don't think I'll be reproducing it here.

But my idea of getting Asner and White together for a covert mission saga was met with a lot of approval from several of my friends.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 6:45 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


I opened this post thinking "how embarassing would it be to have slept with more people than blanche," and whew, dodged that one (I mean, assuming this is anywhere close to accurate)
posted by likeatoaster at 6:46 PM on September 1, 2015


I like the one where Blanche slept with a pontoon boat
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:32 PM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


My grandma used to refer to this show as that "Those Scurrilous Women"; I didn't know what that meant at the time but now I do.
posted by bleep at 7:47 PM on September 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


But my idea of getting Asner and White together for a covert mission saga was met with a lot of approval from several of my friends.

Wait, Betty White as Rose or Sue Ann Nivins?
posted by Room 641-A at 8:07 PM on September 1, 2015



I was never really into this show and I'd actually actively change the channel when it came on (sorry) but my sarcastic son gave me this card for my recent birthday and it made me laugh out loud.


You know, I didn't watch on a regular basis until a few years ago. It was sharper, funnier, and dirtier than I remembered or imagined.

Especially Sophia. Sophia ran out of fucks to give long, long ago.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:19 PM on September 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


Who ever gets the streaming rights to "Golden Girls" wins the streaming wars.

And Designing Women, if there be a $DEITY in heaven.
posted by likorish at 11:45 PM on September 1, 2015 [6 favorites]


I have memories of a halcyon time when Designing Women would be in reruns, two episodes, followed by two episodes of Golden Girls.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:25 AM on September 2, 2015 [6 favorites]


I have memories of a halcyon time when Designing Women would be in reruns, two episodes, followed by two episodes of Golden Girls.

For me I think that was on Lifetime in the afternoons in the 90s.

"Hey you wanna go to the mall or shoot pool or somethin'?"

"Nahh, I gotta get home and get my Lifetime fix, brah."

"...what?"
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 12:53 AM on September 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


Are you... are you trying to summon someone? A certain well-known presence with a currently disabled account? Because if we ever needed an eponysterical threadjack, it's now.
posted by Mayor West at 5:12 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Sophia taught me the word bacciagalupe.

Approximately 90% of my knowledge about Italy comes from Sophia or the Assassin's Creed series.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 5:14 AM on September 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


FYI: September 14 is the 30th anniversary of the show going on the air.
posted by knownassociate at 10:36 AM on September 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


I have memories of a halcyon time when Designing Women would be in reruns, two episodes, followed by two episodes of Golden Girls.

My nightmare of teenaged TV-watching options would be this on one channel and then the only other channel was showing curling or church shows.
posted by chococat at 12:51 PM on September 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


Thanks for this. I won't be able to drink champagne for weeks.
posted by ob1quixote at 2:25 PM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


oh my god I can watch curling for hours

it is THE perfect hangover TV
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:11 AM on September 3, 2015


Oriole Adams: "For younger viewers who have only caught the show in reruns, please see also...."

I saw it in real time (er, okay, "I changed the channel to avoid it in real time") and I didn't get half of those references.
posted by Bugbread at 3:52 PM on September 3, 2015


For younger viewers who have only caught the show in reruns, please see also....

Oh my god Anita Bryant and those fucking oranges. What's horrible person. I don't remember it from the show, but in so happy to see they made the negative reference!
posted by Room 641-A at 4:26 PM on September 3, 2015


And if her homophobia isn't enough reason to hate Anita Bryant, see her cameo in Michael Moore's Roger & Me in which she blathers on about how the unemployed people of Flint, Michigan who are being evicted should be glad to have their health and work with their hands. The woman has a serious lack of empathy.
posted by orange swan at 6:22 PM on September 3, 2015


« Older *(F)old*   |   RADIUM CONDOM Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments