it goes up
September 7, 2015 9:55 PM   Subscribe

 
Well, that happened...
posted by The Power Nap at 10:03 PM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


I watch this video every time I come across it. That last pause before it finally crests the escalator and comes into frame—breathtaking.
posted by danb at 10:04 PM on September 7, 2015 [15 favorites]


hey look

it's ham

it's an escalator

it goes up

what more do you want
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:04 PM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


I believe this novel research result is worthy of publication. With sufficient interest from grantmaking institutions, this experiment can be replicated to test the reaction of other meat products to Escalator.
posted by zachlipton at 10:07 PM on September 7, 2015 [7 favorites]


Well. That was weirdly suspenseful.
posted by town of cats at 10:07 PM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


The best part of this is that some intern had to call up the mall in order to arrange the shoot:

To zap all of the fun out of the world, I am 98% certain it was filmed at the AMC River East 21 in Chicago (you can see the reflection for the advertising for Lucky Strike, the bowling alley in the same locale), and if it was filmed later in the evening when a movie wasn't starting up or getting out, it'd probably be pretty easy to guerilla shoot it.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:14 PM on September 7, 2015 [12 favorites]


Well... that escalated quickly!
posted by daninnj at 10:16 PM on September 7, 2015 [56 favorites]


MetaFilter: Well. That was weirdly suspenseful.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:18 PM on September 7, 2015 [4 favorites]


Totally smoked it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:28 PM on September 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


I am 98% certain it was filmed at the AMC River East 21 in Chicago

Aw, that's disappointing. I was hoping it was an airport. I've been bored enough in an airport before to ham it up like this.
posted by barchan at 10:30 PM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


As a vegetarian, I was offen... ahh, who am I kidding, this was great!
posted by greenhornet at 10:35 PM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Did somebody say HAM?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:36 PM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


Ham goes down escalator.
posted by vverse23 at 10:36 PM on September 7, 2015 [4 favorites]


This looked like it would be a 'your brain on drugs' bit leading up to the top of the escalator.
posted by Space Coyote at 10:37 PM on September 7, 2015




Can I just tell you guys that despite being a fairly educated and web savvy individual I find myself getting suckered by Clickhole articles constantly because the writing falls just short of my not-sure-if-sarcastic threshold. Twice now I have sent articles along to friends in a well meaning fashion because I think they're real, only to have recipients call me up to tell me I am their favorite doofus and would I please stop emailing them crap like this. It's very embarrassing.
posted by Hermione Granger at 10:39 PM on September 7, 2015 [15 favorites]


Hermione it's a ham on an escalator

I'm not sure how that could be sarcastic
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:42 PM on September 7, 2015 [11 favorites]


What? No Green Eggs?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:42 PM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


WOW

YES!

HAM

ESCALATOR
posted by poffin boffin at 10:51 PM on September 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


I'm not sure why I expected different results at the top but I did and weird.
posted by limeonaire at 10:54 PM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Now repeat after me: HAAAAMMMMMMM

(that's the surprise!)
posted by surazal at 11:02 PM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


That's Rupaul, which means the blonde is probably the Lady Bunny.

Awesome.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:06 PM on September 7, 2015


where's the
canIeatthis
tag?
posted by calgirl at 11:07 PM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


I don't know what you're talking about calgirl
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:10 PM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


So why was there such a long pause before the ham made it to the top of the escalator? It was just not ready.
posted by maudlin at 11:12 PM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Shhh I get this one okay

Just not some of the other ones
posted by Hermione Granger at 11:13 PM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


Socality Barbie in Smoked Ham form.
posted by special agent conrad uno at 11:14 PM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


I was bizarrely relieved when it made it to the top.

Especially when it didn't get sliced to bits, which I was totally expecting.
posted by susiswimmer at 11:23 PM on September 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


Pfft, more Hollywood fakery. It's clearly just a bunch of walnuts tied together to look like a ham.
posted by quinndexter at 11:29 PM on September 7, 2015 [4 favorites]


There is a certain amount of wonder brought to the world with videos like this. The inspiring music, the creative shots, all bringing it together to make a video about a subject so totally mundane and totally novel, makes you realize that there's a person who got paid to think of this, and did their job fantastically. I'll never see them in real life or interact with them in any way, but they care about their innocuous weird content and, because of that, so do the rest of us.
posted by brecc at 11:36 PM on September 7, 2015 [10 favorites]


You think HE likes ham, wait till you see ME like ham!
posted by Scattercat at 11:48 PM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Doesn't work for me at all. Delicious ham on grody escalator steps just makes me sad.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:29 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


http://www.clickhole.com/video/yes-ham-goes-escalator-2332?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

Just keep telling the onion that we're facebook and maybe they'll let us live?
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 12:31 AM on September 8, 2015


WOW

YES!

HAM

ESCALATOR
HAMSCALATOR!
posted by MartinWisse at 12:49 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


I ... I actually wanted to watch a ~35 sec(?) video of a ham on an elevator (there, I admitted it) but I got redirected to so many different self-loading ads and videos I lost the original window.
So I thought that was the point. But apparently there actually is video of a ham on an escalator.
I don't know which is more meaningful.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:51 AM on September 8, 2015


Let's just say this raises ham to a new level.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:55 AM on September 8, 2015 [14 favorites]


Is that jamon iberico though?


IS IT
posted by louche mustachio at 1:13 AM on September 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


it's not. Iberico is always bone-in.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:17 AM on September 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


LEFT ME SPEECHLESS
posted by turbid dahlia at 1:25 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


order of emotions:

confused...
concerned...
hungry
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 1:30 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


I was bizarrely relieved when it made it to the top.

That ham sure can make an entrance
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 1:54 AM on September 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


Artisan escalated ham. Exquisitely elevated by Oits craftsmen. Gentle hints of steel. The gradual escalation in altitude that can only be achieved by our organic escalators is key to it's lofty flavour profile.

$20 per 100g at Whole Foods. Same as in town.
posted by generichuman at 2:12 AM on September 8, 2015 [10 favorites]


Some really confused maintenance dude is going to be walking around down there and stumble into a pile of shaved ham
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 2:14 AM on September 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


Hamerican Exceptionalism, again?
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:17 AM on September 8, 2015


I traveled to Japan in the late eighties, when actors like Sylvester Stallone would show up in lower-end subway station ads overseas- the pay was good, and it didn't affect their US boxoffice.

Now the ham is literally on the on the escalator.
posted by jenkinsEar at 2:38 AM on September 8, 2015


it's not. Iberico is always bone-in.

Also there is no angry crowd protesting the senseless waste of the finest ham known to man.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:39 AM on September 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


f^3m, thanks for the giggles.
And, you could totally hose that thing off and make sandwiches with it. If you were sufficiently hungry.
posted by sic friat crustulum at 2:52 AM on September 8, 2015


Very suspenseful and dramatic sandwiches.
posted by sic friat crustulum at 2:56 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Dear AskMeFi - can I eat it?
posted by Devonian at 3:40 AM on September 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Gah. SPOILERS, people!
posted by ardgedee at 4:04 AM on September 8, 2015


Hamm in an elevator.
posted by Pendragon at 4:06 AM on September 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


So. Thoughts. That ham, by the different positioning on the step at every edit point, obviously took many journeys upon that escalator, so I call shenanigans on the epic music. Furthermore, it's my contention that the ham was indeed shredded at the end (just look at all those sharp bits going round and round and round) which further de-escalates the majesty of this ham's journey. That ham had nowhere else to go, it was destined to be nibbled by rats when it found itself unable to continue exploring the mall.

In summary, this is a sham ham cam.
posted by h00py at 4:24 AM on September 8, 2015 [11 favorites]



Doesn't work for me at all. Delicious ham on grody escalator steps just makes me sad.

I had the same thought. Would it really have taken away from the drama to put the ham on a platter first?

I predict that ham becomes the new bacon.
posted by TedW at 4:37 AM on September 8, 2015


Ugh- why is this escalator all hammy?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:45 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Up-goer ham, you will go to space today!
posted by transitional procedures at 4:56 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


IT'S HAM!
posted by svenx at 5:01 AM on September 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Ham shot up first.
posted by chavenet at 5:15 AM on September 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Well, I'm inspired!
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:19 AM on September 8, 2015


You can tell it's Clickhole by the urls.
posted by blue_beetle at 5:26 AM on September 8, 2015


I hope I'm not just being a humorless bastard, but all I see in this is subtext that makes my teeth grind a bit:

A round ham is taking the escalator instead of the stairs, which are available on both sides of the escalator.

Maybe I just need to not Internet today, but this has a dog whistle feel to me.
posted by Mooski at 5:38 AM on September 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


It's like I woke up this morning and it was 1999 all over again.

Thank you, Internet.

Thank you, ham.
posted by briank at 5:48 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Is that ham?
posted by SansPoint at 6:24 AM on September 8, 2015


now I want bacon in a lift.


Socality Barbie in Smoked Ham form

That is not so. Listening to the childhood tales from my GF, I learned with uninitiated European amazement that true smokehouse Barbie is characterised by her position, legs up, head down.
posted by Namlit at 6:32 AM on September 8, 2015


That was beautifully shot, the framing, angles, etc. Every good mall viewpoint reality allows. It only needed the 300,000 dollar Hollywood transparent escalator shot to be perfect.
posted by Chitownfats at 7:00 AM on September 8, 2015


Hermione Granger: Shhh I get this one okay

Just not some of the other ones


If it makes you feel any better, Sardines on an Elevator and Potted Meat Ferry flew over my head too.
posted by dr_dank at 7:04 AM on September 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


So this is what separates metafilter from the rest of the internet. Our headline post celebrates a single ham reaching new heights on an elevator, while everyone else is bemoaning the news that Jon Hamm is newly single.
posted by janey47 at 7:13 AM on September 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


I'm celebrating both in my quiet but perverse way.
posted by h00py at 7:16 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Thanks, ham. Tham.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:01 AM on September 8, 2015 [5 favorites]


Hamm in an elevator.

livin' it up when i'm going down?
posted by palomar at 8:27 AM on September 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


ham: it up
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:46 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


I found that disrespectful to ham.
posted by mazola at 8:57 AM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


The worst part is the bile-soaked nest under the escalator. If only it had been liver, we might not have to worry about what lives in that nest. Ham is just gonna draw him out. Paging Scully and Mulder, stat.
posted by valkane at 9:19 AM on September 8, 2015


I see you've been to that movie theater, valkane.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:35 AM on September 8, 2015


Do you have any idea how few people (self included) can understand anything about that ham on an escalator? Might as well be saying abracadabra.
posted by sfenders at 10:30 AM on September 8, 2015


You want a piece of ham?
posted by ElGuapo at 10:36 AM on September 8, 2015


VIDEO
Yes! Ham Goes Up An Escalator
Posted April 21, 2015


that ham's getting a little stale... I wouldn't eat it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:44 AM on September 8, 2015


325ºF for 20 to 30 minutes per pound can't melt steel beams! Wake up sheeple!
posted by Rhomboid at 11:05 AM on September 8, 2015 [5 favorites]


Welp, I just wasted a minute of company time watching ham on an escalator.

LIVIN' THE DREAM.
posted by Fuego at 11:35 AM on September 8, 2015


Late to the party, but I wanted to mention ham!
posted by klausness at 11:47 AM on September 16, 2015


Don't know what I was expecting.
posted by scottkirkwood at 9:38 AM on September 20, 2015


« Older How to Explore the Surface of a Comet or Asteroid   |   Clegged out Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments