Columbine family loses their scapegoat.

March 5, 2002 9:57 AM

Columbine family loses their scapegoat. Now what can be blamed? Apparently Doom didn't hypnotize those kids into thinking they were in hell after all.
posted by badstone (10 comments total)

The shotgun in Doom was named 'Arlene'? Huhn? Where in the 90 gazillion man-years I spent playing it did I miss that?

That's it. I'm going to grab my sharpened screwdriver named "Bobo" (after the screwdriver in Bernhardt Goetz: Subway Avenger II) and go stab some of those demon gerbils that keep telling me to wear my Mom's bra on my head (first seen in Demon Gerbils With Dubious Senses of Humor: The Second Encounter) at my local Chinese buffet (since that's really the home of demon gerbils).
posted by Samizdata at 10:42 AM on March 5, 2002

As usual, the most salient commentary on the subject comes from Jeff K.
posted by Hildago at 10:58 AM on March 5, 2002

I'll agree that some games like State of Emergency and Grand Theft Auto 3 (do we REALLY need simulated prostitution experiences?) are over the top, if people don't watch out, this will end up stifling many other good games. We'll end up playing Amish Cheese Farm (based on the cutting edge Super Mario Brothers game engine), and SimBrownPaperBag (Ever wondered about the life cycle of a brown paper bag? Now you can LIVE IT!)
posted by Samizdata at 11:36 AM on March 5, 2002

I'll agree that some games like State of Emergency and Grand Theft Auto 3 (do we REALLY need simulated prostitution experiences?) are over the top, if people don't watch out, this will end up stifling many other good games. We'll end up playing Amish Cheese Farm (based on the cutting edge Super Mario Brothers game engine), and SimBrownPaperBag (Ever wondered about the life cycle of a brown paper bag? Now you can LIVE IT!)
posted by Samizdata at 11:37 AM on March 5, 2002

The character "Arlene" was created for the Doom backstory as told in quickie novel DOOM: Knee Deep in the Dead. The role would have been played by Lori Petty if the movie had been made.
posted by dhartung at 11:48 AM on March 5, 2002

I find absolutely no reason for the content of any game being censored for the sake of impressionable youth. To do so would be infringement upon free speech which, even in its ugliest form, is a protected right.

It's not a game company's responsibility to dumb down their product for the sake of the kids. You (the hypothetical 'you') are solely responsible for monitoring the games your child plays, and blaming John Carmack et al for your negligence as a parent is nothing short of insane.

Of course, assuming responsibility for one's own actions (or inaction, it seems) is not the hallmark of a society in which parents sue large corporations when their idiot sons tip Coke machines onto themselves while attempting to steal soda or die as a result of their continued use of video games that cause them to suffer seizures.

Despite all of the warnings and rating systems applied to consumer products, some people absolutely refuse to listen. Hi, accountability.
posted by Danelope at 11:58 AM on March 5, 2002

All violent video games should come with a "WARNING: MAY CAUSE PSYCHOSIS" label. We should force customers to sign an affadavit indemnifying the developer should they go on a murder rampage. William Castle would be proud.
posted by electro at 12:56 PM on March 5, 2002

Theft Auto 3 (do we REALLY need simulated prostitution experiences?

"Need" is such an ugly word...
posted by bingo at 12:01 AM on March 6, 2002

Personally, I kind of like the idea of suing de Caprio. He's got a lot to answer for.
posted by djfiander at 4:15 AM on March 6, 2002

I must admit I enjoyed the paranoid objectivity of the last phrase in the article: "Authorities say the gunmen killed Sanders and 12 students before killing themselves." But then again I played Ghosts & Goblins in my formative years.
posted by FidelDonson at 7:09 AM on March 6, 2002