When Pilots Crash (TV Pilots)
September 14, 2015 12:17 AM Subscribe
Lee Goldberg (previously) is a successful mystery novelist and TV screenwriter who, before he broke in to Hollywood, collected TV trivia... specifically about shows that DIDN'T become series. In 1990, he published "Unsold Television Pilots, 1955-1989", with 800 pages covering over 2000 'stillborn series' and the book became a best-seller and was made into two TV specials on different networks. Now, 25 years later, the 2nd Edition is out (sorry, no more recent shows, but he has cleaned up any embarrassing errors), and another TV screenwriter, Ken Levine (NOT the BioShock guy), has cherry-picked some of the most 'WTF' shows for his blog: Part One, featuring "McClone", "Ethel Is an Elephant", Bette Davis as "Madame Sin" and more... Part Two with Sonny Bono as a singing detective, George Carlin as a ghost detective, William Conrad as NOT a detective in a magical world called "Yazoo", and then some…
I mean, Nick Knight was in fact the genesis of Forever Knight. So I'm not sure that counts as a show that didn't go to series.
In terms of the concept, it's obviously been used quite often, with Angel and Moonlight specially about vampire detectives and if you widen it to supernatural detectives overall, there's New Amsterdam and iZombie just off the top of my head.
posted by kmz at 12:41 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
In terms of the concept, it's obviously been used quite often, with Angel and Moonlight specially about vampire detectives and if you widen it to supernatural detectives overall, there's New Amsterdam and iZombie just off the top of my head.
posted by kmz at 12:41 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh, man, I remember watching Justin Case. I was too young to know whether it was any good. It probably wasn't.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 12:46 AM on September 14, 2015
posted by Mister Moofoo at 12:46 AM on September 14, 2015
Yes, but when you rework a show, recast it, and move production to Canada, then shoot a new pilot, that doesn't make the first pilot 'not failed'. But I and a few blog commenters were kind of surprised that Levine didn't know about that show... guess he never got into CBS' pre-Letterman "Crime Time After Prime Time".
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:47 AM on September 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:47 AM on September 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
(Man, seeing Lee Goldberg's name dredges up a lot of memories... and holy shit, notorious anti-feminist Cathy Young was a Xena fanfic BNF and tussled with Goldberg back then. WTF.)
posted by kmz at 1:01 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by kmz at 1:01 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
13 THIRTEENTH AVENUE CBS-1983 – Similar to one of yesterday’s entries, this one features a widower and his son who move into a Greenwich Village apartment building inhabited by a model who’s a witch, a C.P.A. who’s a werewolf, a lawyer who’s a vampire, a superintendent who’s a troll, and their psychiatrist.
There was of course already a successful and long-running CBS series from the mid-1970s called One Day at a Time with a divorced mom with two teenage girls living an urban apartment building with a bunch of similar characters.
It's funny how often derivatives - and even straight-up rip-offs like this one - have worked for television when you could almost never get away with such rank plagiarism in any other media.
posted by three blind mice at 1:02 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
There was of course already a successful and long-running CBS series from the mid-1970s called One Day at a Time with a divorced mom with two teenage girls living an urban apartment building with a bunch of similar characters.
It's funny how often derivatives - and even straight-up rip-offs like this one - have worked for television when you could almost never get away with such rank plagiarism in any other media.
posted by three blind mice at 1:02 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
I also remember Justin Case! They must've run it as a TV movie or something.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 1:12 AM on September 14, 2015
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 1:12 AM on September 14, 2015
It feels like this could be destilled into like seven distinct concept with minor variations (ref The Seven Basic Plots).
posted by Harald74 at 1:59 AM on September 14, 2015
posted by Harald74 at 1:59 AM on September 14, 2015
JUDGE DEE ABC-1974 -- Khigh Dhiegh is a roving judge in seventh century China, deciding right and wrong and solving crimes. (We had an idea for a show but it was set in the eighth century and no one wants that era.)
Um... you know that this was based on a well-regarded series of mystery novels, right? It's about as weird as basing a tv show on an Agathae Christie series. I mean, I suspect it would have been horrible, but not because it was an inherently bad concept.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:07 AM on September 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
Um... you know that this was based on a well-regarded series of mystery novels, right? It's about as weird as basing a tv show on an Agathae Christie series. I mean, I suspect it would have been horrible, but not because it was an inherently bad concept.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:07 AM on September 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
My favourite unsold TV show is one that I read about. It may have been Genndy Tartakovky's. It's about a hungry alley cat who, in order to eat, dresses up as the pictures in "Lost Cat" ads. The potential!
posted by kandinski at 2:22 AM on September 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by kandinski at 2:22 AM on September 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
It's about a hungry alley cat who, in order to eat, dresses up as the pictures in "Lost Cat" ads. The potential!
If it weren't Tartakovky, I'd make some quip about the grim and gritty Top Cat revival we neither need nor deserve.
posted by Mezentian at 2:45 AM on September 14, 2015 [7 favorites]
If it weren't Tartakovky, I'd make some quip about the grim and gritty Top Cat revival we neither need nor deserve.
posted by Mezentian at 2:45 AM on September 14, 2015 [7 favorites]
Part 2 mentions "Poochinski", seen previously in the blue. It's worth re-linking to the trailer just because it's so wonderful, and also Peter Boyle.
posted by Vendar at 3:32 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Vendar at 3:32 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Part 2 mentions "Poochinski", seen previously in the blue.
Why does my brain always assumes that's a Simpsons joke?
posted by Mezentian at 3:44 AM on September 14, 2015 [4 favorites]
Why does my brain always assumes that's a Simpsons joke?
posted by Mezentian at 3:44 AM on September 14, 2015 [4 favorites]
There's never enough Heat Vision and Jack.
posted by blue_beetle at 4:20 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by blue_beetle at 4:20 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
WHERE’S EVERETT? CBS-1966 -- Alan Alda (of all people) as a young father who goes to get the morning paper and finds that aliens have left an invisible baby on his doorstep.Just take a few moments and imagine what this series would have been like. You'll be glad you did.
posted by chambers at 4:27 AM on September 14, 2015 [18 favorites]
Um... you know that this was based on a well-regarded series of mystery novels, right? It's about as weird as basing a tv show on an Agathae Christie series. I mean, I suspect it would have been horrible, but not because it was an inherently bad concept.
Interesting to see that someone has tried it. I've taught Celebrated Cases of Judge Dee (the Chinese novels that then inspired von Gulik's own series) a few times, and my students always enjoy it--you'd think that either it or von Gulik's novels would make for a good HBO miniseries, at the very least.
posted by thomas j wise at 5:05 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Interesting to see that someone has tried it. I've taught Celebrated Cases of Judge Dee (the Chinese novels that then inspired von Gulik's own series) a few times, and my students always enjoy it--you'd think that either it or von Gulik's novels would make for a good HBO miniseries, at the very least.
posted by thomas j wise at 5:05 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Interesting to see that someone has tried it
I am pretty sure they actually succeeded, and I have seen a one-shot. And I have! Wikipedia tells me that in 1974 they made Judge Dee and the Monastery Murders based on one of novels, and it even had a mostly-Asian cast. It seems that Grenada TV did a couple with a white guy in yellowface, which was more what I was imagining.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:10 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
I am pretty sure they actually succeeded, and I have seen a one-shot. And I have! Wikipedia tells me that in 1974 they made Judge Dee and the Monastery Murders based on one of novels, and it even had a mostly-Asian cast. It seems that Grenada TV did a couple with a white guy in yellowface, which was more what I was imagining.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:10 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Mezentian:
posted by Vendar at 5:46 AM on September 14, 2015
The obvious answer is Poochie, but I think we can dig a little deeper to The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase:Part 2 mentions "Poochinski", seen previously in the blue.Why does my brain always assumes that's a Simpsons joke?
The Love-matic Grampa is a sitcom-style television series about Moe's love life. He receives advice from the ghost of Abraham Simpson, who was crushed by a store shelf containing cans of figs that toppled on him and subsequently "while travelling up toward Heaven...got lost along the way" and now possesses Moe's love tester machine.Wikipedia claims inspiration from My Mother the Car but I like to think at least one of the writers got a look at Poochinksi, too.
posted by Vendar at 5:46 AM on September 14, 2015
OMG, it's Deanna Troi's crazy cousin! I'd watch a show about her!
(Yeah, interesting that the author either didn't know about Forever Knight or chose to not mention it.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:28 AM on September 14, 2015
(Yeah, interesting that the author either didn't know about Forever Knight or chose to not mention it.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:28 AM on September 14, 2015
13 THIRTEENTH AVENUE CBS-1983 – Similar to one of yesterday’s entries, this one features a widower and his son who move into a Greenwich Village apartment building inhabited by a model who’s a witch, a C.P.A. who’s a werewolf, a lawyer who’s a vampire, a superintendent who’s a troll, and their psychiatrist
I recall a very similar show on SciFi (Syfy?) where a bunch of people living in a house were all clandestinely supernatural beings.. in fact I think there were a couple of shows on that premise just in the past few years.
posted by smoothvirus at 6:55 AM on September 14, 2015
I recall a very similar show on SciFi (Syfy?) where a bunch of people living in a house were all clandestinely supernatural beings.. in fact I think there were a couple of shows on that premise just in the past few years.
posted by smoothvirus at 6:55 AM on September 14, 2015
... Khigh Dhiegh is a roving judge in seventh century China, deciding right and wrong and solving crimes ...Interesting guy, that Khigh Dhiegh. Of Anglo-African ancestry, he spent his acting career playing Asian characters, then spent his second career as a Taoist guru. His recordings of Roy Campbell's translations of the poems of St. John of the Cross can be heard at Smithsonian Folkways. The year following Judge Dee, Dhiegh would play a Chinese-American detective named—wait for it—Khan! in a (4 episode) series of the same name. Dheigh insisted on playing the lead role of that show uncredited, tho whether that was an instance of his magnanimity or his embarrassment is only to be guessed at.
DANGER TEAM ABC-1990 – Kathleen Beller plays a bookkeeper-turned-private eye who solves crimes with the help of three animated clay figures. (Whatever happened to Kathleen Beller (pictured above)? She was soooo hot.)In 1988, Beller was blinded by science and is married to Thomas Dolby.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:56 AM on September 14, 2015 [4 favorites]
the grim and gritty Top Cat revival we neither need nor deserve
For years I've been arguing someone needs to remix Top Cat with "The Man With The Golden Arm"
The world hates me, I think.
posted by aramaic at 7:00 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
For years I've been arguing someone needs to remix Top Cat with "The Man With The Golden Arm"
The world hates me, I think.
posted by aramaic at 7:00 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
WHERE’S EVERETT? CBS-1966 -- Alan Alda (of all people) as a young father who goes to get the morning paper and finds that aliens have left an invisible baby on his doorstep.
Yeah, obviously this role was made for Wayne Rogers.
posted by Chrysostom at 7:31 AM on September 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
Yeah, obviously this role was made for Wayne Rogers.
posted by Chrysostom at 7:31 AM on September 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
Well, the way they pick TV shows is, they make one show. That show's called a pilot. Then they show that one show to the people who pick shows, and on the strength of that one show they decide if they want to make more shows. Some get chosen and become television programs. Some don't, become nothing.posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:34 AM on September 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
Ken Levine (NOT the BioShock guy),
You mean, Ken Levine the M*A*S*H and Taxi guy!! /old
posted by Melismata at 7:42 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
You mean, Ken Levine the M*A*S*H and Taxi guy!! /old
posted by Melismata at 7:42 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yes, yes, but they actually *made* the show called "My Mother the Car" starring Jerry Van Dyke.
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 7:58 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 7:58 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Found it, it was Being Human, which was originally a BBC show and then was ported over to SyFy.
posted by smoothvirus at 8:02 AM on September 14, 2015
posted by smoothvirus at 8:02 AM on September 14, 2015
I recall a very similar show on SciFi (Syfy?) where a bunch of people living in a house were all clandestinely supernatural beings.. in fact I think there were a couple of shows on that premise just in the past few years.
For reference, that's "Being Human," an Americanized retread of a BBC show of the same name from the dim mists of history (like 2007 or so).
As distinct from Almost Human, an American show about robuts with cyborg Karl Urban and Lili Taylor that lasted a season, and as distinct from Humans, an AMC retread of a recent Swedish series about robuts (Akta Manniskor or Real Humans).
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:05 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
For reference, that's "Being Human," an Americanized retread of a BBC show of the same name from the dim mists of history (like 2007 or so).
As distinct from Almost Human, an American show about robuts with cyborg Karl Urban and Lili Taylor that lasted a season, and as distinct from Humans, an AMC retread of a recent Swedish series about robuts (Akta Manniskor or Real Humans).
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:05 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
sigh
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:06 AM on September 14, 2015
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:06 AM on September 14, 2015
Um... you know that this was based on a well-regarded series of mystery novels, right? It's about as weird as basing a tv show on an Agathae Christie series. I mean, I suspect it would have been horrible, but not because it was an inherently bad concept.
Interesting to see that someone has tried it.
Not based on the novels, but there was a Detective Dee movie by Tsui Hark that was all sorts of amazing, and a sequel that I haven't seen yet.
posted by maxsparber at 8:21 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Interesting to see that someone has tried it.
Not based on the novels, but there was a Detective Dee movie by Tsui Hark that was all sorts of amazing, and a sequel that I haven't seen yet.
posted by maxsparber at 8:21 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Sir, that sequel is a prequel!
In defiance of the fact that this is not a Judge Dee FPP, it's kind of interesting that van Gulik's first novel or two were pretty much direct translations of 18th C novels, while his later stories were original, and make more sense to modern audiences. The first couple stories have supernatural elements of the "the detective can't solve the case, so ghosts will do the heavy lifting" variety, which seems to have been common in the original material.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:44 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
In defiance of the fact that this is not a Judge Dee FPP, it's kind of interesting that van Gulik's first novel or two were pretty much direct translations of 18th C novels, while his later stories were original, and make more sense to modern audiences. The first couple stories have supernatural elements of the "the detective can't solve the case, so ghosts will do the heavy lifting" variety, which seems to have been common in the original material.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:44 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
You mean, Ken Levine the M*A*S*H and Taxi guy!! /old
No, I mean Ken Levine the M*A*S*H and Cheers guy who was a DJ calling himself Beaver Cleaver in the '70s and became a Major League Baseball announcer for a few years (that may explain why he didn't notice Forever Knight)/oldpedant
I should've emphasized the two video links more - they were the entire Unsold Pilots TV specials that actually had more wacky examples than Levine did. And actual clips. John Denver as an FBI agent...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:49 AM on September 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
No, I mean Ken Levine the M*A*S*H and Cheers guy who was a DJ calling himself Beaver Cleaver in the '70s and became a Major League Baseball announcer for a few years (that may explain why he didn't notice Forever Knight)/oldpedant
I should've emphasized the two video links more - they were the entire Unsold Pilots TV specials that actually had more wacky examples than Levine did. And actual clips. John Denver as an FBI agent...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:49 AM on September 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
And just for comparisons, "The '60s at 50" today has a listing of the TV shows that DID make it to series in the fall og 1965. "My Mother the Car" is there, along with many other memorable shows, some good ("Get Smart", the absurdist "Green Acres"), most OMG ("F Troop", "Hogan's Heroes", "The Wild Wild West"). It was the year "I Spy" gave Bill Cosby his big break and "Lost in Space" inspired another network to give "Star Trek" a shot the next year.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:02 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:02 AM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Dude, Wild Wild West was awesome! Don't judge it by that shitty Will Smith movie.
posted by Naberius at 4:51 PM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Naberius at 4:51 PM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
I was ten years old when those shows debuted... I remember them, and I remember that I thought "The Wild Wild West" (the series) was slightly SILLIER than "F Troop". It also aired right before "Hogan's Heroes" on Fridays on CBS, and their success doomed two of my favorite shows that were running opposite them on ABC: "The Flintstones" and "The Addams Family". (yes, even during the show's decline with the Great Gazoo, I was a Flintstone Fanboy).
I noticed the '60s at 50 list omitted some of the less notable new series of that fall, including the ill-fated "Smothers Brothers" sitcom with Tommy as an angel trying to earn his wings and annoying his still-earth-living brother Dick. With all the ghost/angel/demon/backfromthedead sitcom pilots, that was the one that got on the air.
The midseason replacements in early 1966 were something else: two British spy show imports, "The (NOT Marvel) Avengers" and "Secret Agent" with Patrick McGoohan, and a 'comic book tv' experiment: "Batman".
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:40 PM on September 14, 2015
I noticed the '60s at 50 list omitted some of the less notable new series of that fall, including the ill-fated "Smothers Brothers" sitcom with Tommy as an angel trying to earn his wings and annoying his still-earth-living brother Dick. With all the ghost/angel/demon/backfromthedead sitcom pilots, that was the one that got on the air.
The midseason replacements in early 1966 were something else: two British spy show imports, "The (NOT Marvel) Avengers" and "Secret Agent" with Patrick McGoohan, and a 'comic book tv' experiment: "Batman".
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:40 PM on September 14, 2015
I remember Danger Team. Somewhere in my parents basement there might even still exist a VHS tape decorated with every. single. one. of those stickers that came with blank VHS tapes and labeled "DANGER TEAM" in my seven year old handwriting.
Seriously, what were all those stickers used for? Did people actually use the letters, numbers, and those little genre stickers?
posted by RonButNotStupid at 6:05 PM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Seriously, what were all those stickers used for? Did people actually use the letters, numbers, and those little genre stickers?
posted by RonButNotStupid at 6:05 PM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is gold. I too am befuddled as to Judge Dee. Being the first detective stories, they would make an interesting 6 part series.
Judge Dee as a traffic court judge by day, cane wielding super hero by night.
posted by clavdivs at 7:01 PM on September 14, 2015
Judge Dee as a traffic court judge by day, cane wielding super hero by night.
posted by clavdivs at 7:01 PM on September 14, 2015
Wild Wild West was great, and I will not have its reputation impugned.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:32 PM on September 14, 2015
posted by Chrysostom at 8:32 PM on September 14, 2015
This kind of thing always reminds me that it's not a ridiculous premise vs. a great one that makes a TV show (or any other creative work) good or bad, it's the execution of it.
posted by not that girl at 9:33 AM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by not that girl at 9:33 AM on September 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER ABC-1964 -- Two aliens from Venus come to earth, meet an inventor, and go into business with him selling to unknowing earthlings products created for another planet.
This sounds like it would be an excellent Phillip K. Dick short story.
posted by ejs at 7:48 PM on September 17, 2015
This sounds like it would be an excellent Phillip K. Dick short story.
posted by ejs at 7:48 PM on September 17, 2015
Or Rick and Morty episode.
posted by ejs at 7:48 PM on September 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ejs at 7:48 PM on September 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
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Gee, this one looks familiar.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:28 AM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]