Noah's Ark is being rebuilt,

March 5, 2002 7:37 PM

Noah's Ark is being rebuilt, but I don't think it will float. I can't help but think that it would make a wicked skateboard halfpipe. The project broke ground in 1976, but seems to be moving slowly. More info here and here. Any Maryland MeFi'ers know the current status of this thing? more inside:
posted by machaus (26 comments total)

This is my favorite excerpt from the Augusta Chronicle article:

At first, the Rev. Greene thought the ark could be built in two or three years. Four years later, he respectfully asked God about the holdup.

and I love this architectural study. Don't jump Mr. Cow! You have so much to live for!
posted by machaus at 7:38 PM on March 5, 2002

I wonder how they came to the conclusion that one cubit equals one foot. A cubit could've been half the size, for all they know.
posted by waxpancake at 7:43 PM on March 5, 2002

From the Augusta article: The boat won't float. But it will house a Christian school, Bible college, auditorium and broadcast studio. And the Rev. Greene is certain it will be built.

God's message is clear, he said: "You just keep on keeping on."

Ummm. Rev? I think that's Bob's message you're getting.
posted by ColdChef at 7:46 PM on March 5, 2002

It's about time an American church did something creative with their building. American churches generally look boring and temporary, save the occasional Cathedral, unlike their classic European counterparts.

But at the rate this ark is going, I doubt it will be finished in my lifetime.

Great post, but it could easily have been supplemented with some Noah's Ark craft links, or some links to the debate about the veracity of the Biblical account.
posted by insomnyuk at 7:58 PM on March 5, 2002

Insomnyuk: I love the title of the debunking article--Why it's a load of old cobblers.
posted by ColdChef at 8:06 PM on March 5, 2002

that'd be cool if it started raining a lot! but no rainbows :(
posted by kliuless at 8:10 PM on March 5, 2002

i mean, like a lot :)
posted by kliuless at 8:10 PM on March 5, 2002

Damn, that's gonna be one uuuugly building. Neat concept. Should have remained a concept...
posted by five fresh fish at 8:25 PM on March 5, 2002

it is, very simply, an idea whose time has come. when the ice caps start to melt, I know where I'm heading.
posted by rebeccablood at 8:25 PM on March 5, 2002

I'm all up for joining their church, but the "no-sex-for-40-days-and-40-nights" part is a little discouraging.
posted by Hankins at 8:34 PM on March 5, 2002

Not exactly a biblical scholar here, but the whole bit about the tower of babel and the parts about idolotry don't seem to matter much to these people. Maybe I'm being a bit pendantic here, but its nice and all, but I don't buy the manna from heaven story about its funding.

From the chronicle article:
But with construction proceeding as donations become available, don't expect the project to be finished on any earthly schedule. So far, he said, his God's Ark of Safety Ministry has spent about $500,000 on a project that could exceed $10 million.

You could do a lot of good with 10 mil other than buy a boat shaped warehouse. Looks a lot like an architect's wet dream.
posted by skallas at 9:09 PM on March 5, 2002

waxy: We actually have a fairly good idea how long a cubit was, although there is some confusion between big and small cubits and old cubits. Short answer: roughly 500mm, or half a meter -- say 19 inches. Which jibes with the "foot and a half" that I recall.
posted by dhartung at 9:52 PM on March 5, 2002

*ding*
"Noah!"
"What!?"
"You have to take one of those hippopatamuses back."
"How come?"
"They're both females."
"Well, what do you expect me to do about it? You're God. YOU change one of them!"

- Bill Cosby
posted by ZachsMind at 10:31 PM on March 5, 2002

Looks a lot like an architect's wet dream

...not this one. Or was that a joke? Oh, I get it now: ark, flood, water? :)
posted by tomplus2 at 10:39 PM on March 5, 2002

Um, I don't remember the specs in the bible saying anything about cement and steel.
posted by bingo at 11:31 PM on March 5, 2002

Say, if you should sneak some porn onto The Ark would you just burst into flame, or what?

That'd be cool.
posted by dong_resin at 2:36 AM on March 6, 2002

God's message is clear, he said: "You just keep on keeping on."

Ummm. Rev? I think that's Bob's message you're getting.

Are you sure it isn't the Bradys?

"We're gonna keep on, keep on, keep on singing and dancing all through the night.
Keep on, keep on, keep on doing it right.
We're gonna keep on, keep on , keep on moving,
We're gonna keep on, keep on, keep on grooving.
Keep on singing and dancing all through the night."
posted by owillis at 2:46 AM on March 6, 2002

rebuilt?
posted by fleener at 4:43 AM on March 6, 2002

...and if they bring two anteaters aboard, what will they do about bringing two ants on board too?
posted by Postroad at 5:14 AM on March 6, 2002

Hmm.. come to think of it, Noahs story is kind of encouraging, you know, his hiring construction crews and licenced contractors to lift, weld and bolt steel beams in place and then pour over with concrete. Yeah. Sigh.

The churches do have a lot of money though, and they do use it carelessly, building churches, secretly paying off parents of sexually molested children. However, yeah, when they build churches they come out really ugly, it's either 19th century colonial barn, but with aluminum siding, or a glass pyramid. Maybe very faithfull christian architects just suck.
posted by tiaka at 5:31 AM on March 6, 2002

A lady friend of mine served as a Lutheran missionary pastor at Christ the King Church in Ft. Lauderdale. The church building was even shaped like a crown -- must've been one of those '60s architectural inspirations. I told her it looked like "Close Encounters of the Lutheran Kind."
posted by alumshubby at 6:09 AM on March 6, 2002

But concrete and steel can float!

I used to drive past the ark project once a week in 1992. Looks like they've made a little progress. A little. Very little. Okay, none.
posted by Dick Paris at 6:49 AM on March 6, 2002

There's an ark in Cobden, Ontario, that is the central fixture of a theme park. It isn't really as accurate though, what with housing a Pizza Hut and all.
posted by melimelo at 6:51 AM on March 6, 2002

Or how about an office building? Not very accurate at all, but looks good.
posted by Gaz at 7:26 AM on March 6, 2002

It might be able to float, but it's not the ark God supposedly authorized if it's made of concrete and steel. Who the hell knows how much the materials had to do with the original purpose, if there was one.
posted by bingo at 8:25 AM on March 6, 2002

Cement forms were needed and a man visited the site who “happened” to be a cement form salesman. Wages were needed to begin construction, and God instructed a man to give a large donation just before it was time to begin work that year.

That God is one heck of an deity, huh?
posted by milnak at 6:48 PM on March 6, 2002