We're good at this Chief Wiggum. In this town, we're as good as it gets.
September 22, 2015 1:48 PM Subscribe
The opening credits of series three of The Wire, reworked using scenes from only series three of The Simpsons. (original Wire intro)
It's Springfield, gentlemen. The Gods will not save you.
posted by nubs at 1:56 PM on September 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by nubs at 1:56 PM on September 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Bart: Shoot, the way y'all looking at things, ain't no victim to even speak on.
Skinner: Bullshit, boy. No victim? I just came from Shari's people, remember? All this death, you don't think it ripples out? You don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. I was your principal at Springfield E, but I know you remember the neighborhood, how it was. We had some bad boys, for real. Wasn't about guns so much as knowing what to do with your hands. Those boys could really rack. My father had me on the straight, but like any young man, I wanted to be hard too, so I'd turn up at all the house parties where the tough boys hung. Shit, they knew I wasn't one of them. Them hard cases would come up to me and say, "Go home, schoolboy, you don't belong here." Didn't realize at the time what they were doing for me. As rough as that neighborhood could be, we had us a community. Nobody, no victim, who didn't matter. And now all we got is bodies, and predatory motherfuckers like you. And out where that girl fell, I saw kids acting like Bart, calling you by name, glorifying your ass. Makes me sick, motherfucker, how far we done fell.
posted by nubs at 2:27 PM on September 22, 2015 [9 favorites]
Skinner: Bullshit, boy. No victim? I just came from Shari's people, remember? All this death, you don't think it ripples out? You don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. I was your principal at Springfield E, but I know you remember the neighborhood, how it was. We had some bad boys, for real. Wasn't about guns so much as knowing what to do with your hands. Those boys could really rack. My father had me on the straight, but like any young man, I wanted to be hard too, so I'd turn up at all the house parties where the tough boys hung. Shit, they knew I wasn't one of them. Them hard cases would come up to me and say, "Go home, schoolboy, you don't belong here." Didn't realize at the time what they were doing for me. As rough as that neighborhood could be, we had us a community. Nobody, no victim, who didn't matter. And now all we got is bodies, and predatory motherfuckers like you. And out where that girl fell, I saw kids acting like Bart, calling you by name, glorifying your ass. Makes me sick, motherfucker, how far we done fell.
posted by nubs at 2:27 PM on September 22, 2015 [9 favorites]
Officer Lou: Aww...fuck.
Officer Eddie: Motherfucker.
Officer Lou: Fuck. Fuckin' fuck.
Officer Eddie: Fuck.
Officer Lou: mm, fuck fuck...Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Officer Eddie: Fuck?
Officer Eddie: Fuck!
Officer Eddie: Fuck.
Officer Lou: Mother-Fucker!
Officer Eddie: Aw fuck....Aw fuck.
Officer Eddie: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...Fucker.
Officer Eddie: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Officer Lou: Aw fuck.
Officer Lou: Mother fucker.
Officer Eddie: Fuckin-A.
Officer Eddie: Fuuhck.
Officer Eddie: Motherfucker.
Officer Lou: Fuck Me.
Aannd scene.
posted by scalefree at 3:01 PM on September 22, 2015 [13 favorites]
Officer Eddie: Motherfucker.
Officer Lou: Fuck. Fuckin' fuck.
Officer Eddie: Fuck.
Officer Lou: mm, fuck fuck...Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Officer Eddie: Fuck?
Officer Eddie: Fuck!
Officer Eddie: Fuck.
Officer Lou: Mother-Fucker!
Officer Eddie: Aw fuck....Aw fuck.
Officer Eddie: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...Fucker.
Officer Eddie: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Officer Lou: Aw fuck.
Officer Lou: Mother fucker.
Officer Eddie: Fuckin-A.
Officer Eddie: Fuuhck.
Officer Eddie: Motherfucker.
Officer Lou: Fuck Me.
Aannd scene.
posted by scalefree at 3:01 PM on September 22, 2015 [13 favorites]
Milhouse: Why? What I do wrong?
Lisa: Jimbo locked up behind somethin' he done for you. And you downtown wit' the police.
Milhouse: I ain't say a word.
Lisa: Yeah, that's what you say. But it's how you carry yourself. Always apart. Always aksin', "Why?". When you should be doin' what you're told. You was never one of us. And you never could be [...] How my hair look, 'House?
Milhouse: You look good girl. [gunshot]
posted by nubs at 3:40 PM on September 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Lisa: Jimbo locked up behind somethin' he done for you. And you downtown wit' the police.
Milhouse: I ain't say a word.
Lisa: Yeah, that's what you say. But it's how you carry yourself. Always apart. Always aksin', "Why?". When you should be doin' what you're told. You was never one of us. And you never could be [...] How my hair look, 'House?
Milhouse: You look good girl. [gunshot]
posted by nubs at 3:40 PM on September 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Before anyone else checks over there, you can't do the youtubedoubler thing with these because the actual Wire clip is unembedable.
=(
posted by Aizkolari at 3:59 PM on September 22, 2015
=(
posted by Aizkolari at 3:59 PM on September 22, 2015
Haha a lot of those clips fit really nicely with the Wire's aesthetic!
I bet this was inspired by the bart/security camera/GET BENT clip. That one was too perfect to be a lucky find.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 4:16 PM on September 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I bet this was inspired by the bart/security camera/GET BENT clip. That one was too perfect to be a lucky find.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 4:16 PM on September 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Krustofski: I still wake up a clown in a city that ain't.
posted by nubs at 4:17 PM on September 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by nubs at 4:17 PM on September 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
with only cursory knowledge of the Wire and a more than average knowledge of the Simpsons, that was quite enjoyable.
posted by numaner at 4:29 PM on September 22, 2015
posted by numaner at 4:29 PM on September 22, 2015
♫ You gotta keep Ned Flanders
Waaaay down in the hole ♫
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:31 PM on September 22, 2015
Waaaay down in the hole ♫
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:31 PM on September 22, 2015
Bart Simpsonulty: "The fuck did I do?"
posted by secret about box at 4:33 PM on September 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by secret about box at 4:33 PM on September 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
"Sideshow Bob! Look at me. Look at me! Where the fuck is Moleman, huh?!"
posted by nom de poop at 4:46 PM on September 22, 2015
posted by nom de poop at 4:46 PM on September 22, 2015
and of course ....
Mayor Quimby: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit !
posted by AGameOfMoans at 4:56 PM on September 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
Mayor Quimby: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit !
posted by AGameOfMoans at 4:56 PM on September 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
Before anyone else checks over there, you can't do the youtubedoubler thing with these because the actual Wire clip is unembedable.
Just open them in separate windows, shrink the windows down a bit and place them side by side, then press play in quick succession.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:31 PM on September 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Just open them in separate windows, shrink the windows down a bit and place them side by side, then press play in quick succession.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:31 PM on September 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Just open them in separate windows, shrink the windows down a bit and place them side by side, then press play in quick succession.
posted by Sy Rq
What am I, a farmer?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 9:42 PM on September 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Sy Rq
What am I, a farmer?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 9:42 PM on September 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Season 1 Wire theme >>> all other Wire themes.
Sideshow Bob: Lamar, where's my Harper's? I told you to get the new issue.
posted by dry white toast at 9:50 PM on September 22, 2015
Sideshow Bob: Lamar, where's my Harper's? I told you to get the new issue.
posted by dry white toast at 9:50 PM on September 22, 2015
Season 1 Wire theme >>> all other Wire themes.
Actually you're wrong. The true order is 4 > 5 > 3 > 1 > 2. That's been known for some time now. You can look it up in Snopes.
posted by scalefree at 12:37 AM on September 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Actually you're wrong. The true order is 4 > 5 > 3 > 1 > 2. That's been known for some time now. You can look it up in Snopes.
posted by scalefree at 12:37 AM on September 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Better in concept than in execution. I feel neither highs nor lows.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:26 AM on September 23, 2015
posted by kirkaracha at 10:26 AM on September 23, 2015
I feel neither highs nor lows.
Y'all got yourself some weak-ass product right there.
posted by nubs at 4:00 PM on September 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
Y'all got yourself some weak-ass product right there.
posted by nubs at 4:00 PM on September 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
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