March 6, 2002

6:39 PM

"If every girl who had a Barbie doll had a vulva puppet she'd have a very different view of her body," says Dorrie Lane, the Oakland artist and sex educator who made the 300-pound vulva.

Indeed.
posted by adampsyche (38 comments total)

Wow.

Now thats setting out with a goal in mind: to make a giant vulva puppet that weighs more than its creator!

And this quote I found funny:
A self-proclaimed "vulvalutionary" who makes and sells hand puppets in the form of her favorite organ

Vulvalutionaries of the world kneel before the 300 pound vulva!
posted by Keen at 6:44 PM on March 6, 2002

I searched the archives for "vulva puppet" and came up with nothing. Sorry if this contributes to MeFi being a "boy zone," but I found these fascinating. But maybe it's just me.
posted by adampsyche at 6:49 PM on March 6, 2002

My home is littered with my daugther's Barbies and their various accessories. I've often complained about the clutter. Never again. I've prefer to trip over a Mia Hamm - Barbie than a vulva puppet any day.
posted by treywhit at 6:56 PM on March 6, 2002

I'm guessing that "300-pound" refers to the price of the puppets, not the weight.

They're actually kind of pretty and quite tasteful for beanbag genitals. I was expecting something much, much tackier. Once somebody comes up with a line of stuffed penises with male mythological names, we'll be all set.
posted by andnbsp at 6:59 PM on March 6, 2002

The g-spot's too easy to find.
posted by ColdChef at 7:03 PM on March 6, 2002

I'm guessing that "300-pound" refers to the price of the puppets, not the weight.
I dunno...look at the picture on the "says" link. Could go either way, really...
posted by zztzed at 7:10 PM on March 6, 2002

Actually, I think this is great - especially when you consider that a lot of sex ed books don't even MENTION the clitoris.
posted by apollonia6 at 7:12 PM on March 6, 2002

Vulva puppet filmed in Monster Chiller House Of Horrors 3D.

But I'm glad somebody gives classes like Vulva University does...although I wonder how many men sign up for "Lesbian Sex 101".
posted by biscotti at 7:21 PM on March 6, 2002

I've had one of the puppets for about 3 yrs, it's about a foot high, satin and velvet. It rocks. I've heard from sex-ed people that some women patients are more comfortable talking about their issues "down there" when they have a non-threatening-looking puppet to demonstrate/learn on.
posted by fotzepolitic at 7:25 PM on March 6, 2002

Go to the 'About The Chicks' page and go to the bottom. That is one scary picture to run into without being warned.
posted by wackybrit at 7:39 PM on March 6, 2002

BeetleJuice voice stuck in my poor head this whole thread:

"Learn to throw your voice. Fool your friends. Fun at parties."
posted by dong_resin at 7:40 PM on March 6, 2002

Oh, by the way.. does this mean that all men should own one of these? Only $39.95!
posted by wackybrit at 7:42 PM on March 6, 2002

Yep, definitely, Yuri "the artist" he's checkin for underarm odor.
posted by redhead at 7:49 PM on March 6, 2002

The Penis Pillow is the perfect pet for the vulva puppet.
posted by gnz2001 at 7:53 PM on March 6, 2002

wackybrit,

and this quote "I just gave the Penis Pillow to friends who are expecting their first baby. The ultra sound indicates that 'It's a BOY!' So indeed the Penis Pillow was a hit for that occasion. Thanks!"
- Michaelle Bluemel, San Diego CA

ugh.
posted by redhead at 7:56 PM on March 6, 2002

Hrm, that vulvalutionary is actualy quite cute.
posted by delmoi at 7:58 PM on March 6, 2002

Apollonia6, my 6th grade sex ed book included the clitoris in the diagram of the female genitals, but my teacher skipped over it when talking about it in class.

I raised my hand: "So, what is the clitoris?"

Her, in a bland voice: "Well, it's the nerve center of the vulva." Although her answer was technically correct, it was a sad understatement.
posted by arielmeadow at 8:14 PM on March 6, 2002

Speaking of penises...I've been dying to post this somewhere. (Somewhat more disturbing than the P***Y Puppets and not safe for work...unless you work for an Urologist)
posted by ColdChef at 8:18 PM on March 6, 2002

A very very sad understatement....

The ladies can email me for elaboration.
posted by Settle at 8:21 PM on March 6, 2002

I'm sorry, but if yours looks like this, you really ought to see a doctor.
posted by jpoulos at 8:37 PM on March 6, 2002

Is it just me, or is everyone else getting flashbacks of "Clockwork Orange"?
posted by Kevs at 8:40 PM on March 6, 2002

Speaking of penises...I've been dying to post this somewhere. (Somewhat more disturbing than the P***Y Puppets and not safe for work...unless you work for an Urologist)

Disturbing, in what way? No more disturbing than pictures of intact female genitalia. Now, mutilated circumcised genitalia is a different matter entirely.
posted by wackybrit at 8:57 PM on March 6, 2002

mutilated circumcised?? YIKES! Circumcised, yes, mutilated, no. Its all nice and clean down there, thank you.
posted by tomplus2 at 9:15 PM on March 6, 2002

Kind of odd how this thread turned out.
posted by aramaic at 9:22 PM on March 6, 2002

You know, all things being equal, I don't really miss my foreskin.
posted by solistrato at 9:29 PM on March 6, 2002

Thanks, ColdChef, from foreskin fans everywhere.
posted by evanizer at 9:37 PM on March 6, 2002

Well... she may be right. Girls are having a significantly harder task when they want to explore their genitalia than boys. Short of squatting over a mirror this might help making some girls more aware of their genitals and thus give them a more wholesome image of their body. Though I must say the puppies seem a bit over the top. Perhaps there are better ways?
posted by cx at 9:54 PM on March 6, 2002

(Hangs head in shame)

The pictures of the uncircumsized penises? (Or is that peni? Whatever.)

I'm 22 and hate to admit this is the first time I have ever seen a penis with the foreskin intact.

But then again, I suppose it really isn't that surprising.
posted by Windigo at 9:55 PM on March 6, 2002

Speaking of penises...I've been dying to post this somewhere. (Somewhat more disturbing than the P***Y Puppets and not safe for work...unless you work for an Urologist)

Damn you, ColdChef. It's stuff like you posted to that makes me sooooooooooo happy i'm circumcized, extra pleasure be damned. So nasty the extra shit. That seemed like a viciously unnecessary post.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:35 PM on March 6, 2002

P.S. How the hell did we get from vulva puppets to a discussion about circumsision?
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:37 PM on March 6, 2002

By a little thing called trolling.
posted by wackybrit at 10:56 PM on March 6, 2002

P.S. How the hell did we get from vulva puppets to a discussion about circumsision?

cf "boyzone". proof, pudding? or is everyone just scared of running into this again? (work unsafe-ish)
posted by RJ Reynolds at 12:38 AM on March 7, 2002

Circumcised, yes, mutilated, no.

There's a difference?
posted by vbfg at 12:49 AM on March 7, 2002

It could be a really bad term of endearment: "Kiss me, my little vulva puppet..."
posted by pracowity at 2:38 AM on March 7, 2002

You want something really disturbing? Check out the front page of the Vulva University (same site).

It's aliiiive..........!
posted by chrismear at 2:50 AM on March 7, 2002

I can see how the "puppets" could really do some good. If it makes someone more comfortable with their body...cool. Humor, of course, is a great way to gain access to sensitive subjects, but the naked Russian just sends this right over the top. Thanks Adam.

Chef: 6:00 AM was just a little early for me on that one. I should have waited until I had finished my coffee. Thank God I am drinking it black these days.
posted by anathema at 3:13 AM on March 7, 2002

Sorry, folks. I wasn't trolling. I just happened to find a link to 33 pictures of people treating their foreskin like sock puppets and thought it would be appropriate to add flavor to the discussion. I think my point was that men have all different ways to play with their equiptment, so what was wrong with these "Muff Muppets" (or "Muffets" if you will)?

Or maybe I just liked the fact that some dude had to sit still while someone drew on his junk with a magic marker. Either way, I didn't mean to derail the conversation, so I apologize.
posted by ColdChef at 4:59 AM on March 7, 2002

From that link re: no clits in textbooks: "Franklin County, North Carolina, where, in the fall of 1997, a scissors-toting parent- volunteer was summoned to the high school to slice chapters 17, 20, and 21 out of ninth-graders' health textbooks. The culpable text--covering contraception, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and relationships--didn't comply with the statewide abstinence-only curriculum, ruled the school board. Apparently, in a state where in 1996 there were 25,240 recorded pregnancies among 15- to 19-year-olds, the board hoped that if they obliterated a discourse on condoms, getting down wouldn't dawn on youngsters."

That's just scary. They expect kids to not get pregnant or sick by not telling them how to stay safe?!?

posted by five fresh fish at 8:49 AM on March 7, 2002