who want lasagna

October 1, 2015 8:46 AM

Hungry? Check out FoodP0rnn for delicious inspiration. (SLTwitter)
posted by Metroid Baby (28 comments total)

oh god my eyes what is happen

is that a molded spaghetti-o's jello casserole
posted by poffin boffin at 8:48 AM on October 1, 2015 [7 favorites]

ugh can we PLEASE stop calling any photography of food "food porn"? It's ridiculous. This is just gourmet cuisine photographed by a professional. It's not pornography, it's just good food presented with style.
posted by griphus at 8:50 AM on October 1, 2015 [14 favorites]

So, it's only food porn if it's a picture of a sailor going to town on a load of bread dough?

(Yeah, read that story on Kitchenette. Cannot unread it.)
posted by NoxAeternum at 8:53 AM on October 1, 2015 [2 favorites]

THAT'S NOT HOW YOU USE AQUAFRESH!!!
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 8:58 AM on October 1, 2015

Most of these are funny because of the juxtaposition of the description and the image. But this description is pretty accurate.
posted by like_neon at 9:02 AM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

ugh can we PLEASE stop calling any photography of food "food porn"? It's ridiculous. This is just gourmet cuisine photographed by a professional. It's not pornography, it's just good food presented with style.

"gourmet cuisine photographed by a professional" is a 100% apt description of the linked content and I will fight anyone who disagrees.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 9:02 AM on October 1, 2015 [20 favorites]

But this description is pretty accurate.

CRISPY IS NOT THE SAME AS CRUNCHY!
posted by sexyrobot at 9:06 AM on October 1, 2015 [4 favorites]

I can't be the only one who thinks that ramen-as-bread sandwich looks kind of good

There's a place called Ramen Burger that will serve you a burger in between two pucks of cooked-but-intact ramen. Not the easiest thing to eat, but tasty!
posted by griphus at 9:09 AM on October 1, 2015

idgi really, ramen isn't even delicious carbs. i want a burger between two potato pancakes or a woven lattice of french fries.

oh or i guess those would be waffle fries.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:23 AM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

and the garnish is a tiny hamburger between two halves of a new potato coated in breadcrumbs to resemble a tiny bun
posted by poffin boffin at 9:24 AM on October 1, 2015 [2 favorites]

If you eat a hotdog any way besides Chicago style, you're a heathen. It's Crest and strawberry fudge syrup, but still.
posted by michaelh at 9:24 AM on October 1, 2015 [2 favorites]

Pretty sure that one with the fruit loops is a dish served at Cereality...
posted by Nanukthedog at 9:28 AM on October 1, 2015

You know how you can tell it's a Chicago dog?

They put a salad on it.

(New York dirty water hot dogs for life.)
posted by NoxAeternum at 9:30 AM on October 1, 2015

idgi really, ramen isn't even delicious carbs. i want a burger between two potato pancakes or a woven lattice of french fries.

In Seattle, you can get pretty close!
posted by gurple at 9:43 AM on October 1, 2015

You know how you can tell it's a Chicago dog?

They put a salad on it.

I believe you are supposed to say "They dragged it through a garden"
posted by srboisvert at 10:07 AM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

"Yes, my good man, I'll have the milk steak, boiled over hard, and your finest jelly beans ... raw"
posted by damayanti at 10:31 AM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

As a native Philadelphian, with strong opinions on cheesesteaks, this one made me terribly offended and amused at the same time.

(Fuck both Pat's and Geno's.)
God damn I wish I could find a passable cheesesteak in New York...

posted by SansPoint at 11:06 AM on October 1, 2015

I think it's weird that this is the one that got me.
posted by SharkParty at 11:19 AM on October 1, 2015

That was a much-needed laugh this afternoon, thanks for this.
posted by jbickers at 11:43 AM on October 1, 2015

idgi really, ramen isn't even delicious carbs

I will fight you
posted by Phire at 11:49 AM on October 1, 2015

Food as she is prepared.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:51 AM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

This might be good for dieters, as visual anti-pasta, before the diet meal.
posted by Oyéah at 12:14 PM on October 1, 2015

I would love to see someone hack a cooking game show like Chopped and then serve something like gummi bears on a tortilla with maple syrup to the judges. It would have to be on a tortilla because I like the way Aaron Sanchez says "Your torrr-teee'-ya is bland and flavorless!"
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:16 PM on October 1, 2015

Food Porn? More like Food Goatse, amirite?
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:30 PM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

I would love to see someone hack a cooking game show like Chopped and then serve something like gummi bears on a tortilla with maple syrup to the judges. It would have to be on a tortilla because I like the way Aaron Sanchez says "Your torrr-teee'-ya is bland and flavorless!"

I want this. I want this because the Chopped judges are the worst. I want the contestant to do nothing for all but the last five minutes of the cooking period, and then just fill three perfect porcelain bowls with diced up bits of all the ingredients and a cup of Cayenne pepper. And then I want that chef to just stare down the judges until they finish the entire bowls. Then she puts the meal on the cutting board, flips the double deuce, and walks out.
posted by Going To Maine at 1:39 PM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

Reminds me of my favorite recipes Henry's Anytime Chili for One
posted by any major dude at 5:15 PM on October 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

Food Porn? More like Food Goatse, amirite?

If you actually ate this stuff it'd be more like Food Tubgirl.
posted by sexyrobot at 1:19 PM on October 3, 2015

Reminds me of my favorite recipes Henry's Anytime Chili for One

Weber Cooks: How To Make Chili Cheese Nacho Dip
posted by Going To Maine at 12:43 PM on October 4, 2015