Kidnapped caprine recovered in Canada

October 5, 2015 6:00 AM

Stubborn goat arrested after refusing to leave a Saskatchewan restaurant: "RCMP said that employees initially 'asked' the goat to leave and tried to walk him outside, but the rebellious animal turned around and sauntered back through the restaurant's automatic doors." It turns out that the seemingly ornery creature had actually been kidnapped from a rodeo: team members are thankful it's back safe and sound, but Katie Dutchak, co-founder of the University of Saskatchewan rodeo team, reminds everyone that tampering with animals is not funny.
posted by fraula (22 comments total)

the seemingly ornery creature had actually been kidnapped from a rodeo

Looks to be full-grown goat ; I'd say the correct term was "billynapped".
 
posted by Herodios at 6:25 AM on October 5, 2015 [12 favorites]

Good "grief", does their style mandate a quotation "mark" quota?
posted by Wolfdog at 6:30 AM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]

The officers believed that the goat was "cold," and like many Canadians, was forced to take refuge in a Tim Hortons.

I honestly can't tell if this is just terrible writing or brilliantly terrible writing.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:31 AM on October 5, 2015 [21 favorites]

I honestly can't tell if this is just terrible writing or brilliantly terrible writing.

It was this line that got me:

Faced with a noncompliant citizen, the RCMP officers "arrested" the goat and escorted him into their vehicle.

posted by fraula at 6:34 AM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]

FREE CITIZEN GOAT!
posted by ardgedee at 6:38 AM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]

I love this.
posted by Fizz at 6:39 AM on October 5, 2015

Later, the animal is sold to a laboratory or used as bait in dogfighting.

Or left in a Tim Hortons.
posted by three blind mice at 6:41 AM on October 5, 2015

The goat's true crime was failing to say "sorry".
posted by srboisvert at 6:47 AM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]

Another example of the nanny state in action.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:06 AM on October 5, 2015 [25 favorites]

Goats are always being disobedient.
posted by rubber duck at 7:07 AM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]

I guess charges were dropped when it was discovered that the goat was a kidnap victim. But otherwise, I presume having arrested the goat, they would have charged and tried it, reviving a great tradition lost since the middle ages.

also... well, it's a little funny
posted by Naberius at 7:12 AM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]

I love Canadians. They asked the goat to leave. Much like Mary asked the bear not to eat her kayak. I'm going to have to move to Canada, just so I can spend my remaining years around people who are so relentlessly pleasant.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 7:57 AM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]

Totes notyur goat
posted by drlith at 8:35 AM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

So wait -- pranks involving animals are not ok but violently tackling and tying up a goat is ok?

(Also though I don't know whether it was cuter that the goat was "cuddled up next to the heater" or that the RCMP felt so bad for the little guy that they took him home until they could find his owner)
posted by Mooseli at 8:49 AM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]

Some goats are fairly complicit in their own goatnappings, IME.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:10 AM on October 5, 2015

poffin boffin: "Some goats are fairly complicit in their own goatnappings, IME."

That's exactly what a goatnapper would say.

Also, describing Tim Hortons as a "restaurant" is a tad... generous. Yes, yes, they have soups and sandwiches and such but they're still ultimately donut shops.
posted by mhum at 12:44 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

Selling bad sandwiches and donuts is secondary to their purpose of being the psychic pylons that enmesh the collective Canadian hivemind.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 4:23 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]

I swear CBC has an entire news desk covering the animals-got-into-a-place beat. Recently I had to pull over my car because they lead the nightly news with "a beaver walked into a bar in Winnipeg" which is literally the most Canadian thing that has ever happened.
posted by miyabo at 6:16 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]

Well, stealing a goat from a rodeo and setting it loose in town is pretty funny...

But following that link tells me that pet theft is bad and illegal; well yeah, that sucks, don't steal pets, that's an awful thing to do (and is illegal). But let's be honest here, animals kept by rodeos are not pets. Animal rights organizations often work hard to try to abolish rodeos; rodeos are no friends to animals. Seriously.
posted by el io at 10:09 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

Bartender: Wait. Why the chopstick?

Beaver: Ok. Again from the top. Rum, simple syrup, lime juice, chopstick. Pour all ingredients except for chopstick into shaker with ice cubes. Shake well. Strain in chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with chopstick.

Bartender: Why the chopstick?

Beaver: So how do you make a hickory daiquiri, Doc?
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:27 AM on October 6, 2015 [2 favorites]

☭ COMRADE DOGGO WILL FIGHT FOR THE RIGHTS OF ALL GOATS OPPRESSED BY CAPITALISM ☭
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 3:57 AM on October 6, 2015

Felicia? Is that you? I thought Dr Boyce Watkins had had a hit put on you.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:35 AM on October 7, 2015