He disliked the machine so much that he won't be keeping it.
October 5, 2015 1:16 PM Subscribe
Product testers and analysts are scratching their heads over Keurig's latest attempt to revolutionize beverage preparation. Pop a $1.25 pod into the 24-pound, $370 Keurig Kold, wait a minute and a half, and behold: an 8-ounce glass of cold soda that doesn't taste very good. Coca-Cola has signed on as partner to the SodaStream rival, but as Motley Fool points out, this may not be the vote of confidence it appears: "Now we now why Keurig Green Mountain was able to get two soda giants to back the platform. It's not going to cannibalize retail sales."
Keurig has been scrambling for new innovations since its patent on the K-cup brewer expired three years ago. The company responded with the DRM-enabled Keurig 2.0, which prevented the use of third-party or fill-your-own pods. (Previously on Metafilter: Your New Coffee Overlord; Keurig's attempt to 'DRM' its coffee cups totally backfired.)
Keurig has been scrambling for new innovations since its patent on the K-cup brewer expired three years ago. The company responded with the DRM-enabled Keurig 2.0, which prevented the use of third-party or fill-your-own pods. (Previously on Metafilter: Your New Coffee Overlord; Keurig's attempt to 'DRM' its coffee cups totally backfired.)
So, it's a soda fountain?
posted by octothorpe at 1:22 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 1:22 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Keurig might be the only company whose mix of arrogant ignorance and blithe, petty evil could actually rival SodaStream's.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:24 PM on October 5, 2015 [36 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:24 PM on October 5, 2015 [36 favorites]
Sigh.
I actually love my original Keurig machine. Yeah, it costs more than making coffee other ways, and it doesn't taste as good. I use my French Press as much as I can. But when I'm running out the door for work, it's really hard to beat the convenience, and the quality is a lot better than the alternatives.
I'm just dreading the day that my machine breaks and I'm forced to buy whatever stupid idea Keurig is trying to push that month. They seem to have no clue what they're doing.
posted by primethyme at 1:25 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
I actually love my original Keurig machine. Yeah, it costs more than making coffee other ways, and it doesn't taste as good. I use my French Press as much as I can. But when I'm running out the door for work, it's really hard to beat the convenience, and the quality is a lot better than the alternatives.
I'm just dreading the day that my machine breaks and I'm forced to buy whatever stupid idea Keurig is trying to push that month. They seem to have no clue what they're doing.
posted by primethyme at 1:25 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
so i put a keurig soup pod in my keurig soda machine and invented fizzy noodles
keurig keurig hire me plz
keurig we can be the new bubble tea together
keurig plz
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:28 PM on October 5, 2015 [82 favorites]
keurig keurig hire me plz
keurig we can be the new bubble tea together
keurig plz
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:28 PM on October 5, 2015 [82 favorites]
My problem with the seemingly endless k-cup "innovations" is that they're fucking gross. Have you ever run a blank through a keurig machine? You get murky, brackish water with coffee flakes in it. Not terribly appetizing. It's fine, and not really a problem if all you're doing is brewing coffee, but those fucking soups? Hope you like your chicken noodle with a side of reclaimed coffee resin. Or tomorrow's coffee with just a hint of poultry.
So my suspicion is that after a week or two of use, anything you make in this behemoth is going to taste like a suicide which, as experience has borne out, is only something that tastes good when you're between 8 and 10 years old.
posted by phunniemee at 1:28 PM on October 5, 2015 [40 favorites]
So my suspicion is that after a week or two of use, anything you make in this behemoth is going to taste like a suicide which, as experience has borne out, is only something that tastes good when you're between 8 and 10 years old.
posted by phunniemee at 1:28 PM on October 5, 2015 [40 favorites]
Uhhhh.... why exactly do you need the machine again?
Given that the carbonation is inside the pod with their Karbonation Beads™ (which I assume are a mix of sodium bicarb and a mix of anhydrous phosphoric and citric acids) you could just pour the entire contents of the cup into a glass filled will cold water and stir and get the same effect?
posted by Talez at 1:29 PM on October 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
Given that the carbonation is inside the pod with their Karbonation Beads™ (which I assume are a mix of sodium bicarb and a mix of anhydrous phosphoric and citric acids) you could just pour the entire contents of the cup into a glass filled will cold water and stir and get the same effect?
posted by Talez at 1:29 PM on October 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
Keuring Kold Kola
posted by pibeandres at 1:29 PM on October 5, 2015
posted by pibeandres at 1:29 PM on October 5, 2015
you could just pour the entire contents of the cup into a glass filled will cold water and stir and get the same effect?
something something brawndo has what plants crave
posted by phunniemee at 1:30 PM on October 5, 2015 [39 favorites]
something something brawndo has what plants crave
posted by phunniemee at 1:30 PM on October 5, 2015 [39 favorites]
Keurwrong
posted by blue_beetle at 1:31 PM on October 5, 2015
posted by blue_beetle at 1:31 PM on October 5, 2015
I'ma get in early on the name the thing I do for coffee that's better than Keurig game. I use this single serve coffee maker from Hamilton Beach. It's $36 at Target, uses regular grounds, has a reusable stainless steel filter, and makes insanely strong and tasty single cups of coffee. I am officially That Guy with the Awesome Coffee Setup at work.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:31 PM on October 5, 2015 [21 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:31 PM on October 5, 2015 [21 favorites]
keurig we can be the new bubble tea together
Put the bicarb and anhydrous acid on the outside of tapioca bubbles and let the tapioca bubbles flow into the drink with the soda? There's bubble Coke. An actual new product!
posted by Talez at 1:31 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Put the bicarb and anhydrous acid on the outside of tapioca bubbles and let the tapioca bubbles flow into the drink with the soda? There's bubble Coke. An actual new product!
posted by Talez at 1:31 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I was curious and went to the product page for the Coke® Pod. This is Keurig's own website and the only customer review is a one-star complaining about the cost!
posted by AndrewStephens at 1:32 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by AndrewStephens at 1:32 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
Given that the carbonation is inside the pod with their Karbonation Beads™ (which I assume are a mix of sodium bicarb and a mix of anhydrous phosphoric and citric acids) you could just pour the entire contents of the cup into a glass filled will cold water and stir and get the same effect?
It appears that you're not supposed to allow the beads into your mouth, they just release the carbonation, so that doesn't seem to be the case.
But hey, it's worth taking about 10 times the amount of time and four times the price for some soda that you can serve from a giant unitasker machine that takes up all your available counter space, right?
posted by xingcat at 1:34 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
It appears that you're not supposed to allow the beads into your mouth, they just release the carbonation, so that doesn't seem to be the case.
But hey, it's worth taking about 10 times the amount of time and four times the price for some soda that you can serve from a giant unitasker machine that takes up all your available counter space, right?
posted by xingcat at 1:34 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
$370? How much does an actual damned soda fountain like at McDonald's cost?
posted by Vulgar Euphemism at 1:34 PM on October 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by Vulgar Euphemism at 1:34 PM on October 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
All I can think of is that fizzy iced tea that Starbucks is doing now.
Which is--I advise you of this so you can avoid having to find a dog's ass to lick to get rid of the taste--unspeakably vile.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:35 PM on October 5, 2015 [15 favorites]
Which is--I advise you of this so you can avoid having to find a dog's ass to lick to get rid of the taste--unspeakably vile.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:35 PM on October 5, 2015 [15 favorites]
This is Keurig's own website and the only customer review is a one-star complaining about the cost!
That review is the best. I know it's probably a typo, but I'm choosing to read the "way to pricey" review title like you would "way to go!" Like it's the congratulatory high five cheer the marketing team is giving themselves. "Way to pricey, guys! Way to pricey!"
posted by phunniemee at 1:36 PM on October 5, 2015 [65 favorites]
That review is the best. I know it's probably a typo, but I'm choosing to read the "way to pricey" review title like you would "way to go!" Like it's the congratulatory high five cheer the marketing team is giving themselves. "Way to pricey, guys! Way to pricey!"
posted by phunniemee at 1:36 PM on October 5, 2015 [65 favorites]
$370? How much does an actual damned soda fountain like at McDonald's cost?
About four times that much, plus you have to find somewhere to store the big-ass boxes of syrup.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:37 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
About four times that much, plus you have to find somewhere to store the big-ass boxes of syrup.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:37 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
keurig hey its me again
look look
how many times this happen you
you are a dickensian orphan master
you have many mouths to feed but not a lot of time
due to the consumption or buggy whips or whatever
so you just mix your beef broth pod
and your oatmeal pod
and you have nourishing gruel
for all the orphans so they can be the best
pickpockets
put in hot chocolate pod and the good orphans get pudding
the bad orphans dont
the bad orphans get beat
you beat them
you beat them real bad keurig
why keurig
why
this is an ad
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:38 PM on October 5, 2015 [122 favorites]
look look
how many times this happen you
you are a dickensian orphan master
you have many mouths to feed but not a lot of time
due to the consumption or buggy whips or whatever
so you just mix your beef broth pod
and your oatmeal pod
and you have nourishing gruel
for all the orphans so they can be the best
pickpockets
put in hot chocolate pod and the good orphans get pudding
the bad orphans dont
the bad orphans get beat
you beat them
you beat them real bad keurig
why keurig
why
this is an ad
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:38 PM on October 5, 2015 [122 favorites]
I thought soda was going the way of cigarettes. Why are we inventing new ways to consume soda?
posted by bondcliff at 1:39 PM on October 5, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by bondcliff at 1:39 PM on October 5, 2015 [9 favorites]
About four times that much, plus you have to find somewhere to store the big-ass boxes of syrup.
Except an $80 box of syrup from Sam's Club makes 320 glasses of Coke. If the Kold actually worked with that value proposition it would actually save money in the long run like a home soda fountain would.
posted by Talez at 1:39 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Except an $80 box of syrup from Sam's Club makes 320 glasses of Coke. If the Kold actually worked with that value proposition it would actually save money in the long run like a home soda fountain would.
posted by Talez at 1:39 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Keurig Karbonize: Just insert a one-use metal tube ($39.99) of pressurized gas for a unique sparkling-water experience! Flavors available at launch: Buccaneer Cove, Midnight Fen, Airport
Keurig Jüz: Got fresh oranges? Throw them in the garbage and enjoy the bold taste of Jüz. Companion app scheduled for release in Q1 2016
Keurig Kow: Moans hideously for forty-five minutes before producing a room-temperature trickle of milk-like liquid
posted by theodolite at 1:39 PM on October 5, 2015 [97 favorites]
Keurig Jüz: Got fresh oranges? Throw them in the garbage and enjoy the bold taste of Jüz. Companion app scheduled for release in Q1 2016
Keurig Kow: Moans hideously for forty-five minutes before producing a room-temperature trickle of milk-like liquid
posted by theodolite at 1:39 PM on October 5, 2015 [97 favorites]
Hope you like your chicken noodle with a side of reclaimed coffee resin. Or tomorrow's coffee with just a hint of poultry.
Now with additional protein!
posted by Sys Rq at 1:40 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Now with additional protein!
posted by Sys Rq at 1:40 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
the bad orphans get beat
you beat them
you beat them real bad keurig
Oh look, they've also figured out a way to sell beatings in pod form!
posted by phunniemee at 1:42 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
you beat them
you beat them real bad keurig
Oh look, they've also figured out a way to sell beatings in pod form!
posted by phunniemee at 1:42 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
Quickly-brewed coffee makes sense since it's a hot beverage and doesn't store. But soda? Easily stored in bulk and difficult to replicate. Not to mention people are drinking less of it every year.
posted by tommasz at 1:42 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 1:42 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
Meanwhile, almost everybody I know who owns a Sodastream has talked about the virtues of doing so in order to make things that are tasty and fizzy but NOT Coke. I mean, I like Coke. More than I should. But I don't need Coke to be more convenient. I need Coke to be less convenient. Convenient, with a Sodastream, is a small quantity of juice in a glass of seltzer, which has the advantage of being unlikely to result in serious damage to my blood sugar.
posted by Sequence at 1:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [21 favorites]
posted by Sequence at 1:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [21 favorites]
I thought soda was going the way of cigarettes. Why are we inventing new ways to consume soda?
As the DKs' album title says, "Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death!"
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
As the DKs' album title says, "Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death!"
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Except an $80 box of syrup from Sam's Club makes 320 glasses of Coke. If the Kold actually worked with that value proposition it would actually save money in the long run like a home soda fountain would.
This is why we're all laughing. The proposition should be: bringing the economics of fountain soda to home! Instead, it's: give us $400 and much of your countertop, and we can give you tiny, dusty-tasting glasses of soda for $1.25 each (after several noisy minutes).
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:44 PM on October 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
This is why we're all laughing. The proposition should be: bringing the economics of fountain soda to home! Instead, it's: give us $400 and much of your countertop, and we can give you tiny, dusty-tasting glasses of soda for $1.25 each (after several noisy minutes).
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:44 PM on October 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
Hope you like your chicken noodle with a side of reclaimed coffee resin. Or tomorrow's coffee with just a hint of poultry.
Reminds me of a joke from "The Bob Newhart Show": Bob asks for a Bull Shot cocktail and is told they didn't have any beef bullion but they did have poultry. He responds, "So.... so it's a Chicken Shot."
Later, someone announces, "Soup's On!", and Bob puts down his drink and replies, "No thanks. I've had mine."
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 1:46 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
Reminds me of a joke from "The Bob Newhart Show": Bob asks for a Bull Shot cocktail and is told they didn't have any beef bullion but they did have poultry. He responds, "So.... so it's a Chicken Shot."
Later, someone announces, "Soup's On!", and Bob puts down his drink and replies, "No thanks. I've had mine."
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 1:46 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
I don't understand this product at all. It takes something that already exists -- soft drinks -- and makes them less convenient, lower quality, more expensive, and more wasteful.
At least the coffee machine is good for half-asleep people who want to brew a cup of coffee-like substance as quickly as possible, but who's this one for? Spendy morons?
posted by Sys Rq at 1:47 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
At least the coffee machine is good for half-asleep people who want to brew a cup of coffee-like substance as quickly as possible, but who's this one for? Spendy morons?
posted by Sys Rq at 1:47 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
As the DKs' album title says, "Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death!"
Yeah, but you still have to spend a buck and use a disposable thing every time you want a soda. You can buy a can of soda for like a buck and that is also a disposable thing that actually takes less effort than this machine does.
I am a Sodastream owner and once spent way too much effort here defending my ownership of it but I'm having a hard time seeing the point of this silly thing. It doesn't seem to actually save anything other than maybe the space of keeping full cans of soda around?
posted by bondcliff at 1:47 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Yeah, but you still have to spend a buck and use a disposable thing every time you want a soda. You can buy a can of soda for like a buck and that is also a disposable thing that actually takes less effort than this machine does.
I am a Sodastream owner and once spent way too much effort here defending my ownership of it but I'm having a hard time seeing the point of this silly thing. It doesn't seem to actually save anything other than maybe the space of keeping full cans of soda around?
posted by bondcliff at 1:47 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
If I were targeting soda-at-home as a target market, I'd be trying to come up with whatever the non-alcoholic soda equivalent of home brewing is, not DIY Coca-Cola. Homemade artisanal cream soda in the style of Big Red? Someone's probably working on that already.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:47 PM on October 5, 2015
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:47 PM on October 5, 2015
Kureig... Kureig... are you listening? Dasani(tm) K-Cups. It's a carbon filter.... in a k-cup.
posted by Xyanthilous P. Harrierstick at 1:49 PM on October 5, 2015 [43 favorites]
posted by Xyanthilous P. Harrierstick at 1:49 PM on October 5, 2015 [43 favorites]
I used to work with a guy who would crack open a bottle of water to pour into the keurig reservoir because he was too lazy to take the reservoir off, literally turn around and take one step, and hold it under the filtered water cooler.
posted by phunniemee at 1:51 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 1:51 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
2006: My dentist gets a Keurig machine. I am in LOVE! You put a pod in the machine and it makes COFFEE! ANY KIND OF COFFEE! THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING! I am going to arrive an hour early to all my appointments so I can make ALL THE COFFEE!
2012: One of my coworkers wants to buy a Keurig machine for the office. I gladly kick in $20, excited at the prospect of fast, convenient coffee any time I want it.
2012, two weeks later: Jesus these pods are expensive.
2014: Because the regular coffee machine has been mothballed and I have long since vowed never to buy those stupid overpriced k-cups again, every time I want to make coffee I have to spoon grinds into the reusable pod and rinse it out afterwards and remember to replace the regular k-cup holder because if I don't whoever uses the machine afterwards will just slap a pod in there without bothering to check if it's strangely loose or not and flood the countertop with gross brownish k-water.
2015: Keurig Kold, I don't even want to know about you. You can go right straight to hell.
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:52 PM on October 5, 2015 [46 favorites]
2012: One of my coworkers wants to buy a Keurig machine for the office. I gladly kick in $20, excited at the prospect of fast, convenient coffee any time I want it.
2012, two weeks later: Jesus these pods are expensive.
2014: Because the regular coffee machine has been mothballed and I have long since vowed never to buy those stupid overpriced k-cups again, every time I want to make coffee I have to spoon grinds into the reusable pod and rinse it out afterwards and remember to replace the regular k-cup holder because if I don't whoever uses the machine afterwards will just slap a pod in there without bothering to check if it's strangely loose or not and flood the countertop with gross brownish k-water.
2015: Keurig Kold, I don't even want to know about you. You can go right straight to hell.
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:52 PM on October 5, 2015 [46 favorites]
Keurig has been scrambling for new innovations since its patent on the K-cup brewer expired three years ago. The company responded with the DRM-enabled Keurig 2.0, which prevented the use of third-party or fill-your-own pods. (Previously on Metafilter: Your New Coffee Overlord; Keurig's attempt to 'DRM' its coffee cups totally backfired.)
Although I am a huge Sodastream fan for many reasons, I cannot understand why anyone drinks the Keurig coffee. It tastes like plastic.
posted by Nevin at 1:54 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Although I am a huge Sodastream fan for many reasons, I cannot understand why anyone drinks the Keurig coffee. It tastes like plastic.
posted by Nevin at 1:54 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Dasani(tm) K-Cups. It's a carbon filter.... in a k-cup.
I'm pretty sure Dasani's just straight tap water in a bottle, actually. I would be very surprised if they actually filtered it.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:55 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm pretty sure Dasani's just straight tap water in a bottle, actually. I would be very surprised if they actually filtered it.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:55 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
keurig its me again
i filled my kold with rum
and made soda
it is very strong soda
i called it my kold bold
i drank it all on national tv
and threw up
plz help keurig
the gygax estate are suing me
you owe me
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:55 PM on October 5, 2015 [43 favorites]
i filled my kold with rum
and made soda
it is very strong soda
i called it my kold bold
i drank it all on national tv
and threw up
plz help keurig
the gygax estate are suing me
you owe me
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:55 PM on October 5, 2015 [43 favorites]
you could just pour the entire contents of the cup into a glass filled will cold water and stir and get the same effect?
It sounds like pouring the contents of the cup into a glass will result in you drinking some kind of proprietary Karbonation beads, so no. It also seems like the giant machine's primary purpose is to act as a refrigerator to chill water, despite the fact that 99.97% of Keurig Kold customers will have their machine within six feet of a large rectangular refrigeration device already perfectly suited to the cooling of water through advanced new technology called "Bottle" or "Pitcher."
posted by zachlipton at 1:56 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
It sounds like pouring the contents of the cup into a glass will result in you drinking some kind of proprietary Karbonation beads, so no. It also seems like the giant machine's primary purpose is to act as a refrigerator to chill water, despite the fact that 99.97% of Keurig Kold customers will have their machine within six feet of a large rectangular refrigeration device already perfectly suited to the cooling of water through advanced new technology called "Bottle" or "Pitcher."
posted by zachlipton at 1:56 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
Why would I trust a company whose machines can't even make an acceptable cup of coffee (as opposed to stale coffee-flavored water) to provide my home carbonated-beverage solution? The thing doesn't even make seltzer right. It's not like it's such a hassle to keep a few cans of soda cold in the fridge, anyway.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:56 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:56 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
2012, two weeks later: Jesus these pods are expensive.
I used to buy them for the office. If you're ok with getting random stuff, you can get pods for between 40-65¢ on amazon. Search for things like "kcup variety" until you find a mix that sounds good.
Very rarely did we ever get anything truly awful, and it was a great way to try new things relatively inexpensively.
For those of you who just want straight up unflavored coffee that tastes good, this is the best brand for the price I found. The light greens are imo the best ones.
posted by phunniemee at 1:58 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
I used to buy them for the office. If you're ok with getting random stuff, you can get pods for between 40-65¢ on amazon. Search for things like "kcup variety" until you find a mix that sounds good.
Very rarely did we ever get anything truly awful, and it was a great way to try new things relatively inexpensively.
For those of you who just want straight up unflavored coffee that tastes good, this is the best brand for the price I found. The light greens are imo the best ones.
posted by phunniemee at 1:58 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
And not for nothing, but homemade Coke was always going to be inconsistent and frustrating anyway. Ever notice how the Coke from McDonald's tastes so much better than the Coke from your corner burger joint? It tastes damned near like you'd poured it out of a one liter bottle yourself. Why is that? Same syrup, similar, if not identical machines. The difference is that McDonald's softens and filters their water. This countertop unit was never going to be able to fit in the tech to give you anything similar at home. Its best case scenario was always: crappier version of what crappy restaurants have.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:59 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:59 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
If I were targeting soda-at-home as a target market, I'd be trying to come up with whatever the non-alcoholic soda equivalent of home brewing is, not DIY Coca-Cola. Homemade artisanal cream soda in the style of Big Red? Someone's probably working on that already.
You can already get an amazing variety of flavored syrups, maybe not in traditional soda flavors, but it's all already out there because of the coffee market. And there's stuff like tonic concentrate, too, although I haven't found one I like as much as Fever Tree. It's not so much "untapped market" as "completely spoiled for choice when I'm not sitting around boiling down pineapples and ginger just because it sounded good". The Kold really just takes away all the experimental fun of doing it yourself. I guess, thinking about it, what it saves you is carrying 12-packs in from the grocery? But it seems like that's of the most benefit for, like, people in upper-floor apartments and stuff, who are least likely to have the counter space for this.
posted by Sequence at 2:02 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
You can already get an amazing variety of flavored syrups, maybe not in traditional soda flavors, but it's all already out there because of the coffee market. And there's stuff like tonic concentrate, too, although I haven't found one I like as much as Fever Tree. It's not so much "untapped market" as "completely spoiled for choice when I'm not sitting around boiling down pineapples and ginger just because it sounded good". The Kold really just takes away all the experimental fun of doing it yourself. I guess, thinking about it, what it saves you is carrying 12-packs in from the grocery? But it seems like that's of the most benefit for, like, people in upper-floor apartments and stuff, who are least likely to have the counter space for this.
posted by Sequence at 2:02 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I have the Keurig 2.0 and love it. It makes coffee and tea that I enjoy, and is convenient enough for me to justify the price of the K-Cups (which my local recycling program accepts).
Just a data point to offset the flood of comments that are smugly against it.
posted by Shouraku at 2:06 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
Just a data point to offset the flood of comments that are smugly against it.
posted by Shouraku at 2:06 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
My problem with the seemingly endless k-cup "innovations" is that they're fucking gross. Have you ever run a blank through a keurig machine? You get murky, brackish water with coffee flakes in it. Not terribly appetizing.
This is why I replace my keurig machine after every cup, like the instructions suggest.
posted by gauche at 2:08 PM on October 5, 2015 [50 favorites]
This is why I replace my keurig machine after every cup, like the instructions suggest.
posted by gauche at 2:08 PM on October 5, 2015 [50 favorites]
I've become fond of cold brew coffee concentrate for my fast coffee choice. I could probably do it myself for cheaper, but I'm lazy and usually buy. A couple of ounces of that + a few squeezes of La Lechera + ice and I have a pretty good vietnamese iced coffee.
posted by tavella at 2:12 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by tavella at 2:12 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
Share and enjoy!
posted by Slinga at 2:12 PM on October 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by Slinga at 2:12 PM on October 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
robocop is bleeding, please give me weird product pitches/stories forever.
posted by bolda at 2:15 PM on October 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by bolda at 2:15 PM on October 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
Trying to figure out how I can get my piss into this thing.
posted by cellphone at 2:17 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by cellphone at 2:17 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
a few squeezes of La Lechera
yesssssss!!! I swear to god squeezy condensed milk is the greatest thing since sliced bread and also a product that finally makes that analogy appropriate for once
posted by phunniemee at 2:18 PM on October 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
yesssssss!!! I swear to god squeezy condensed milk is the greatest thing since sliced bread and also a product that finally makes that analogy appropriate for once
posted by phunniemee at 2:18 PM on October 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
Ever notice how the Coke from McDonald's tastes so much better than the Coke from your corner burger joint?
Hahahahaha. That machine is never configured properly and usually winds up hilariously over or under carbonated. The corner burger joint just sells cans.
posted by ODiV at 2:18 PM on October 5, 2015 [9 favorites]
Hahahahaha. That machine is never configured properly and usually winds up hilariously over or under carbonated. The corner burger joint just sells cans.
posted by ODiV at 2:18 PM on October 5, 2015 [9 favorites]
Trying to figure out how I can get my piss into this thing.
It's been done.
posted by phunniemee at 2:20 PM on October 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
It's been done.
posted by phunniemee at 2:20 PM on October 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
I'm waiting for the Chemex of home soda production where I pour artesian spring water over syrup in a bespoke glass carafe and get something European to drink.
posted by GuyZero at 2:21 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by GuyZero at 2:21 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
DirtyOldTown: "
About four times that much, plus you have to find somewhere to store the big-ass boxes of syrup."
The boxes are smaller than a 2-4 of pop and can be stored anywhere you can run the lines. If you are a big soda drinker it's not really to much of a problem. The machines though require a certain minimum volume to not get nasty; you'd have to _really_ like soda to make it worth while.
I wonder if anyone has approached this from a system integration point with water coolers. If you made the dispenser self cleaning in some way and just added the controls to a plumbed in water cooler the cost point would be a lot less than $1000. Hmmmm.
posted by Mitheral at 2:29 PM on October 5, 2015
About four times that much, plus you have to find somewhere to store the big-ass boxes of syrup."
The boxes are smaller than a 2-4 of pop and can be stored anywhere you can run the lines. If you are a big soda drinker it's not really to much of a problem. The machines though require a certain minimum volume to not get nasty; you'd have to _really_ like soda to make it worth while.
I wonder if anyone has approached this from a system integration point with water coolers. If you made the dispenser self cleaning in some way and just added the controls to a plumbed in water cooler the cost point would be a lot less than $1000. Hmmmm.
posted by Mitheral at 2:29 PM on October 5, 2015
Buy the bulk syrup. Use a sodastream to carbonate water. Add syrup to the carbonated water. There's your Coke.
They used to sell their syrup in 1 gallon bottles, for exactly this kind of use, whether at home or at a soda shop.
posted by yesster at 2:34 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
They used to sell their syrup in 1 gallon bottles, for exactly this kind of use, whether at home or at a soda shop.
posted by yesster at 2:34 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Keurig Kold comes with a book of recipes entitled Keurig Kold Kompendium
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:36 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:36 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
Buy the bulk syrup. Use a sodastream to carbonate water. Add syrup to the carbonated water. There's your Coke.
You don't even need a sodastream! It's called seltzer water!
posted by Karaage at 2:36 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
You don't even need a sodastream! It's called seltzer water!
posted by Karaage at 2:36 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
Buy the bulk syrup. Use a sodastream to carbonate water. Add syrup to the carbonated water. There's your Coke.
Wait.
You're supposed to add water???
posted by Thorzdad at 2:37 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
Wait.
You're supposed to add water???
posted by Thorzdad at 2:37 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
Ik ben niet al te kieskeurig, maar hoe meer ik erover hoor, hoe minder snel ik Keurig zou kiezen.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:42 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by MartinWisse at 2:42 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
Yeah, I dunno. Pumping freshwater into a factory, putting it in bottles, and then shipping those bottles around the world seems like we're just wasting oil. That someone's added sugar and bubbles to the water before bottling it up and taking it for a drive doesn't really change that we're shipping water, which is plenty heavy, to places that have drinkable tap water.
Keurig's customers aren't the most earth-friendly in the first place though, so like mentioned up-thread, I'm sure plenty of people will use bottled water with the Kold.
posted by fragmede at 2:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Keurig's customers aren't the most earth-friendly in the first place though, so like mentioned up-thread, I'm sure plenty of people will use bottled water with the Kold.
posted by fragmede at 2:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
I was sick of paying exorbitant prices for my sodastream refills so I replaced the canister with a paintball gun canister. Friends asked if my hiccups would come up as paintballs but I haven't noticed anything yet. Also I might slowly be poisoning myself.
posted by miyabo at 2:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by miyabo at 2:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
so lets say my house is single-handedly keepking la croix and dasani sparkling in business - is there a better competitor to soda stream? will a soda stream + lemon/limes/berries replicate well enough the la croix cans?
posted by nadawi at 2:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by nadawi at 2:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'm waiting for the Chemex of home soda production
If you can find it, the Mastrad Purefizz Soda maker is awesome. We've had a number of different kinds over the years, including a Sodastream and an old-timey diy rig. The Mastrad makes a really nice soda compared to the Sodastream.
It's a lot less fussy too. The Sodastream can only do water; the Mastrad can do anything, juices, wine, whatever. The Sodastream needs cold water, which means pre-chilling water in the bottles in the fridge. With the Mastrad, I just add a dozen ice-cubes with room-temperature water and get very chilled soda. The cold also highly carbonates the drink. Finally, the Sodastream uses their own cartridges, the Mastrad uses standard ones.
Less fuss, a bit cheaper to run, makes better soda and out of anything. It can be a bit of a bitch to find, but our local cooking supply store had them.
posted by bonehead at 2:44 PM on October 5, 2015 [20 favorites]
If you can find it, the Mastrad Purefizz Soda maker is awesome. We've had a number of different kinds over the years, including a Sodastream and an old-timey diy rig. The Mastrad makes a really nice soda compared to the Sodastream.
It's a lot less fussy too. The Sodastream can only do water; the Mastrad can do anything, juices, wine, whatever. The Sodastream needs cold water, which means pre-chilling water in the bottles in the fridge. With the Mastrad, I just add a dozen ice-cubes with room-temperature water and get very chilled soda. The cold also highly carbonates the drink. Finally, the Sodastream uses their own cartridges, the Mastrad uses standard ones.
Less fuss, a bit cheaper to run, makes better soda and out of anything. It can be a bit of a bitch to find, but our local cooking supply store had them.
posted by bonehead at 2:44 PM on October 5, 2015 [20 favorites]
also! making cold brew coffee is so easy for anyone that wants to do it! no fancy machines required! just grounds+water+time, then strain and enjoy (i use a sieve lined with a paper towel). i have 2 2qt pitchers so i always have one "brewing" and one to drink. i think 1 pitcher lasts my husband and me 3 or 4 days...
posted by nadawi at 2:46 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by nadawi at 2:46 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
They used to sell their syrup in 1 gallon bottles, for exactly this kind of use, whether at home or at a soda shop.
Also at the pharmacy, as a tonic for the tummy.
I was sick of paying exorbitant prices for my sodastream refills so I replaced the canister with a paintball gun canister.
I pay $12 for a refill canister at Bed, Bath & Beyond using either the 20% off or the $5 off coupons that I get in the mail. I go through about a liter and a half a day and only have to replace the canister about once every two months, so it's totally worth it.
posted by mudpuppie at 2:46 PM on October 5, 2015
Also at the pharmacy, as a tonic for the tummy.
I was sick of paying exorbitant prices for my sodastream refills so I replaced the canister with a paintball gun canister.
I pay $12 for a refill canister at Bed, Bath & Beyond using either the 20% off or the $5 off coupons that I get in the mail. I go through about a liter and a half a day and only have to replace the canister about once every two months, so it's totally worth it.
posted by mudpuppie at 2:46 PM on October 5, 2015
nadawi - my roommate goes back and forth between two options. One is LaCroix cans. The other is sodastream plus Mio drops, or the equivalent. Mostly he takes the cans for to-go, and uses the sodastream at home.
posted by yesster at 2:47 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by yesster at 2:47 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
> I thought soda was going the way of cigarettes. Why are we inventing new ways to consume soda?
do you even vape bro?!?
posted by benito.strauss at 2:53 PM on October 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
do you even vape bro?!?
posted by benito.strauss at 2:53 PM on October 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
MetaFilter: tomorrow's coffee with just a hint of poultry.
posted by Fizz at 2:54 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 2:54 PM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
Right-Thinking Person: "K-cups are expensive, terrible for the environment, and taste awful."
Indefensible Monster: "But they're just so convenient!"
posted by entropicamericana at 2:57 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
Indefensible Monster: "But they're just so convenient!"
posted by entropicamericana at 2:57 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
All I'm here to say is that, with whatever carbo-fizz-o-matic device you happen to get your hands on, it's really fun to carbonate box wine
posted by quadbonus at 2:59 PM on October 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by quadbonus at 2:59 PM on October 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
i think my main use of la croix is to make box wine spritzers.
posted by nadawi at 3:01 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by nadawi at 3:01 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Moans hideously for forty-five minutes before producing a room-temperature trickle of milk-like liquid
Christ, theodolite, you didn't have to out me like that.
ewww I'm so sorry
posted by a halcyon day at 3:07 PM on October 5, 2015 [19 favorites]
Christ, theodolite, you didn't have to out me like that.
ewww I'm so sorry
posted by a halcyon day at 3:07 PM on October 5, 2015 [19 favorites]
I actually know some people that work at Keurig on this machine. If I remember correctly, chilling the water was the difficult part because you're starting from room temperature and need to cool it more or less instantly. Trying to do that in the small and quiet form factor that management wants basically breaks the laws of thermodynamics.
Also it turned into a "too big to fail" so they had to push something out the door.
posted by backseatpilot at 3:08 PM on October 5, 2015 [37 favorites]
Also it turned into a "too big to fail" so they had to push something out the door.
posted by backseatpilot at 3:08 PM on October 5, 2015 [37 favorites]
nadawi (and other fellow seltzer fiends): make your own system!! no joke, it is COMPLETELY worth the initial investment if you buy seltzer regularly. we've had ours for a year of pretty heavy use and haven't even refilled the CO2 tank once yet (initial tank fill cost was about $20, for a 5lb tank which is proving to be pretty big for 2 constant seltzer drinkers.) plus as a bonus you don't have to worry about supporting a possibly-questionable company or constantly buying their products.
(I tried existing flavorings but haven't found any that are that amazing, plus I'm a cheapskate and they're mad expensive so I switched to fridge-fruit-soaking. pineapple and watermelon have been the best so far. i have yet to carbonate coffee, though- soon!)
posted by ghostbikes at 3:09 PM on October 5, 2015 [24 favorites]
(I tried existing flavorings but haven't found any that are that amazing, plus I'm a cheapskate and they're mad expensive so I switched to fridge-fruit-soaking. pineapple and watermelon have been the best so far. i have yet to carbonate coffee, though- soon!)
posted by ghostbikes at 3:09 PM on October 5, 2015 [24 favorites]
So what I have been doing is buying club soda and pouring it in a glass over whichever syrup I've made. Usually ginger syrup. Recipe calls for 2 or 3 tablespoons but I use approximately 16 fuckloads of fresh grated ginger when I make mine. Sweet and spicy, just like it should be.
How does using store-bought club soda compare to a sodastream, price-wise? Anyone done the comparison? Does it even taste similar?
posted by Hoopo at 3:14 PM on October 5, 2015
How does using store-bought club soda compare to a sodastream, price-wise? Anyone done the comparison? Does it even taste similar?
posted by Hoopo at 3:14 PM on October 5, 2015
There's a slight flavour difference due to the lack of sodium.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:16 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:16 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Also I might slowly be poisoning myself.
Sometimes it's hard to tell the poison from the Keurig.
posted by The Bellman at 3:16 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
Sometimes it's hard to tell the poison from the Keurig.
posted by The Bellman at 3:16 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
Hoopo, sodastream soda is about 20 to 25 cents a liter, depending on how fizzy you make it, and whether you replace carbonators at Bed Bath and Beyond with their coupons. The least expensive club soda I can find in a store is about 80 cents a liter. The taste is a little different, but I blame that on the tap water here.
The other advantage to the sodastream is not going through 7 plastic bottles a week.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 3:19 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
The other advantage to the sodastream is not going through 7 plastic bottles a week.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 3:19 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
Buy the bulk syrup. Use a sodastream to carbonate water. Add syrup to the carbonated water. There's your Coke.
Wait.
You're supposed to add water???
One of the worst decisions I've made in the last 5 years was at a house party where there was booze but no mixers where I poured some vodka directly into a cup of Red Bull SodaStream syrup. I don't think I slept for the next 18 hours and definitely spent the next 6 to 8 hours tweeting a bunch of semi-coherent garbage about how I'd "imbibed the devil's tincture".
posted by Copronymus at 3:26 PM on October 5, 2015 [53 favorites]
Wait.
You're supposed to add water???
One of the worst decisions I've made in the last 5 years was at a house party where there was booze but no mixers where I poured some vodka directly into a cup of Red Bull SodaStream syrup. I don't think I slept for the next 18 hours and definitely spent the next 6 to 8 hours tweeting a bunch of semi-coherent garbage about how I'd "imbibed the devil's tincture".
posted by Copronymus at 3:26 PM on October 5, 2015 [53 favorites]
You can already get an amazing variety of flavored syrups, maybe not in traditional soda flavors
I just finished drinking all the bottles of flavored syrup I bought from Ikea when they had 'em on sale a few months back. Lingonberry, blueberry, elderflower, and rhubarb, all pretty good, and the price was right. I bought two-liter bottles of plain carbonated water from the grocery store to mix them with, since I'm not sure I'm ready for the commitment of a SodaStream or of making my own carbonator. The carbonated water is indeed a bit expensive ($0.86 for a 2-liter at my local grocery), and hard to keep from going flat quickly, but it was a good way to try having soda at home for a bit.
posted by asperity at 3:40 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I just finished drinking all the bottles of flavored syrup I bought from Ikea when they had 'em on sale a few months back. Lingonberry, blueberry, elderflower, and rhubarb, all pretty good, and the price was right. I bought two-liter bottles of plain carbonated water from the grocery store to mix them with, since I'm not sure I'm ready for the commitment of a SodaStream or of making my own carbonator. The carbonated water is indeed a bit expensive ($0.86 for a 2-liter at my local grocery), and hard to keep from going flat quickly, but it was a good way to try having soda at home for a bit.
posted by asperity at 3:40 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Pop a $1.25 pod into the 24-pound, $370 Keurig Kold, wait a minute and a half, and behold: an 8-ounce glass of cold soda that doesn't taste very good. Coca-Cola has signed on as partner to the SodaStream rival, but as Motley Fool points out, this may not be the vote of confidence it appears: "Now we now why Keurig Green Mountain was able to get two soda giants to back the platform. It's not going to cannibalize retail sales."
You know those deals where Big Pharma pays generics houses not to make a version of one of their top sellers which has gone off patent?
I think this is a variation on that, only there must be some wrinkle in laws pertaining to drugs which prevents such an arrangement from being considered bribery or extortion -- or conspiracy in restraint of trade -- and which somehow doesn't apply to soda, so that it was necessary to produce an actual machine to cover the true nature of the deal, but it must not be necessary for anyone to really buy the machine because no one is going to.
posted by jamjam at 3:44 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
You know those deals where Big Pharma pays generics houses not to make a version of one of their top sellers which has gone off patent?
I think this is a variation on that, only there must be some wrinkle in laws pertaining to drugs which prevents such an arrangement from being considered bribery or extortion -- or conspiracy in restraint of trade -- and which somehow doesn't apply to soda, so that it was necessary to produce an actual machine to cover the true nature of the deal, but it must not be necessary for anyone to really buy the machine because no one is going to.
posted by jamjam at 3:44 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Get your Real Official K-Cup(r) Kuerig(r) pods from Costco and they cost somewhere around 30-40 cents apiece. I've never had a 'good' cup of coffee from my machine, but for what I was paying at starbucks every couple of days for the convenience, the machine has already paid for itself after two months.
I hate the waste it produces though. Has anyone started busting the used pods open to compost the gunk?
posted by tmt at 3:48 PM on October 5, 2015
I hate the waste it produces though. Has anyone started busting the used pods open to compost the gunk?
posted by tmt at 3:48 PM on October 5, 2015
tmt - there's nothing inside (the used K-cup). It wasn't coffee grounds to begin with. It has always been consolidated coffee products.
posted by yesster at 3:53 PM on October 5, 2015
posted by yesster at 3:53 PM on October 5, 2015
someone once offered me a cup of regular black tea and proceeded to make it from one of those abominable k-cup monstrosities and my friends i must confess that i killed them right then and there.
posted by poffin boffin at 3:53 PM on October 5, 2015 [41 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 3:53 PM on October 5, 2015 [41 favorites]
Heh, if doesn't filter the tap water before making soda with it, they're missing the opportunity to sell proprietary-shape replacement charcoal filters at an enormous markup. Kuerig isn't even very good at being evil, really.
posted by Vulgar Euphemism at 3:53 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Vulgar Euphemism at 3:53 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I guess, thinking about it, what it saves you is carrying 12-packs in from the grocery? But it seems like that's of the most benefit for, like, people in upper-floor apartments and stuff, who are least likely to have the counter space for this.
----
Pumping freshwater into a factory, putting it in bottles, and then shipping those bottles around the world seems like we're just wasting oil. That someone's added sugar and bubbles to the water before bottling it up and taking it for a drive doesn't really change that we're shipping water, which is plenty heavy, to places that have drinkable tap water.
----
The other advantage to the sodastream is not going through 7 plastic bottles a week.
Yeah, to me, the great potential of carbonate-it-yourself is that it reduces this hassle and environmental toll. The Keurig Kold doesn't really offer these benefits. Keurig is stubbornly beholden to the pod system, which made sense for brewing drip coffee but seems unnecessary for adding sugar syrup to water. The Kold pods are bulky--keep in mind when you take in that picture that each pod generates just 8 ounces of soda--and the #7 plastic may be more difficult to recycle than aluminum cans or PET soda bottles. It's astounding to me that Keurig still insists on these stupid pods after the flak they got over the environmental toll of the k-cups. Granted, these seem to be a single piece, unlike the k-cups where you had to deal with multiple plastic and paper layers, but still.
posted by mama casserole at 3:55 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
----
Pumping freshwater into a factory, putting it in bottles, and then shipping those bottles around the world seems like we're just wasting oil. That someone's added sugar and bubbles to the water before bottling it up and taking it for a drive doesn't really change that we're shipping water, which is plenty heavy, to places that have drinkable tap water.
----
The other advantage to the sodastream is not going through 7 plastic bottles a week.
Yeah, to me, the great potential of carbonate-it-yourself is that it reduces this hassle and environmental toll. The Keurig Kold doesn't really offer these benefits. Keurig is stubbornly beholden to the pod system, which made sense for brewing drip coffee but seems unnecessary for adding sugar syrup to water. The Kold pods are bulky--keep in mind when you take in that picture that each pod generates just 8 ounces of soda--and the #7 plastic may be more difficult to recycle than aluminum cans or PET soda bottles. It's astounding to me that Keurig still insists on these stupid pods after the flak they got over the environmental toll of the k-cups. Granted, these seem to be a single piece, unlike the k-cups where you had to deal with multiple plastic and paper layers, but still.
posted by mama casserole at 3:55 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
> advanced new technology called Bottl or Pitchr.
That's how you sell it!
Seriously though, in any thread about SodaStream I have to put in a plug for the bootleg CO2 cylinder adapter that lets you refill your own cylinders. If you go through a lot of soda, and have somewhere safe to store a CO2 tank, this is the thing for you.
Also, a Sodastream exclusive: Home-made unsweetened tonic syrup. Dry!
posted by anthill at 4:03 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
That's how you sell it!
Seriously though, in any thread about SodaStream I have to put in a plug for the bootleg CO2 cylinder adapter that lets you refill your own cylinders. If you go through a lot of soda, and have somewhere safe to store a CO2 tank, this is the thing for you.
Also, a Sodastream exclusive: Home-made unsweetened tonic syrup. Dry!
posted by anthill at 4:03 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
yesster - if you shake the pod around you can hear a bunch of desiccated... stuff?... floating around in there. Maybe it's like old mummy bones or something.
posted by tmt at 4:06 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by tmt at 4:06 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Yeah - the Sodastream means not having to lump around 80-100 liters of water (at 2.2 lbs/liter) per 130L carbonator, to get my soda fix, then disposing of hundreds of cans. Over the four years of using SodaStream, I've probably avoided hauling around several tons of water in tens of thousands of cans, and making weekly trips to the grocery store.
posted by wotsac at 4:11 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by wotsac at 4:11 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
It wasn't coffee grounds to begin with. It has always been consolidated coffee products.
wait wait wait so everyone's paying these exorbitant prices and making insane amounts of garbage for instant coffee???
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:14 PM on October 5, 2015 [9 favorites]
wait wait wait so everyone's paying these exorbitant prices and making insane amounts of garbage for instant coffee???
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:14 PM on October 5, 2015 [9 favorites]
Yes.
posted by yesster at 4:15 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by yesster at 4:15 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
So Keurig is what "Sirius Cybernetics Corp Nutri-Mat" sounds like without a Babel fish. Who knew?
All that work to bring you a beverage that is almost, but not entirely, quite unlike Coke.
SHARE AND ENJOY.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 4:17 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
All that work to bring you a beverage that is almost, but not entirely, quite unlike Coke.
SHARE AND ENJOY.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 4:17 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
Imagine one scenario:
You brew a crap ton of coffee, and then dehydrate it, and scrape up what's left, then grind that into small chunks.
That's traditional instant coffee.
Now imagine a second scenario:
You brew a crap ton of coffee, and then leave a few of the grounds in there, then dehydrate it. Those few grounds end up at 10x or 20x concentration.
It's still instant coffee. But with more profit.
posted by yesster at 4:21 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
You brew a crap ton of coffee, and then dehydrate it, and scrape up what's left, then grind that into small chunks.
That's traditional instant coffee.
Now imagine a second scenario:
You brew a crap ton of coffee, and then leave a few of the grounds in there, then dehydrate it. Those few grounds end up at 10x or 20x concentration.
It's still instant coffee. But with more profit.
posted by yesster at 4:21 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is my one K-cup story.
Years ago when the Keurig machines were the new hotness, my then-boss had to get one for his office. Every morning for him began with a freshly brewed K-cup of coffee. He'd make coffee for VIP guests, too, and was very proud of his new status symbol. This went on for a while. One day he was sipping his coffee during a meeting and complained that it had little solid bits in it lately. The culprit? He didn't know that he was supposed to clean the machine which led to an infestation of ants in it. He'd been drinking ant coffee for days. All of us who saw him picking ants out of his teeth that day vowed never to take him up on his offer of coffee.
Side note: He'd also add in spoonful after spoonful of powdered creamer, stir it, pull the spoon out caked with soggy creamer, slurp it clean like a mule eating an apple, and then plop the spoon back in the creamer can for next time. He'd serve VIPs with this spoon, too. All of us who saw him "clean" the spoon that day vowed to never take him up on his offer of creamer.
posted by Servo5678 at 4:26 PM on October 5, 2015 [32 favorites]
Years ago when the Keurig machines were the new hotness, my then-boss had to get one for his office. Every morning for him began with a freshly brewed K-cup of coffee. He'd make coffee for VIP guests, too, and was very proud of his new status symbol. This went on for a while. One day he was sipping his coffee during a meeting and complained that it had little solid bits in it lately. The culprit? He didn't know that he was supposed to clean the machine which led to an infestation of ants in it. He'd been drinking ant coffee for days. All of us who saw him picking ants out of his teeth that day vowed never to take him up on his offer of coffee.
Side note: He'd also add in spoonful after spoonful of powdered creamer, stir it, pull the spoon out caked with soggy creamer, slurp it clean like a mule eating an apple, and then plop the spoon back in the creamer can for next time. He'd serve VIPs with this spoon, too. All of us who saw him "clean" the spoon that day vowed to never take him up on his offer of creamer.
posted by Servo5678 at 4:26 PM on October 5, 2015 [32 favorites]
wait wait wait so everyone's paying these exorbitant prices and making insane amounts of garbage for instant coffee???
YES, the irony of which is far more delicious than any beverage they are capable of producing.
posted by poffin boffin at 4:30 PM on October 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
YES, the irony of which is far more delicious than any beverage they are capable of producing.
posted by poffin boffin at 4:30 PM on October 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
Add me to the list of people who didn't know it was instant coffee either. Wow.
posted by benito.strauss at 4:34 PM on October 5, 2015
posted by benito.strauss at 4:34 PM on October 5, 2015
I had a keurig for a while. It was the second one I'd owned. I got rid of it when I shed a great many worldly possessions and got a 2 cup mr coffee type maker.
- it makes the first cup in damn near the same amount of time as the keurig did PLUS a refill at no charge
- a cup of coffee costs about a dollar less
- paper filters are as easy to swap out as the k-cup
- choose my own coffee strength, grind and type.
I wish keurig every success as they attempt to rationalize their shitty business model.
posted by disclaimer at 4:35 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
- it makes the first cup in damn near the same amount of time as the keurig did PLUS a refill at no charge
- a cup of coffee costs about a dollar less
- paper filters are as easy to swap out as the k-cup
- choose my own coffee strength, grind and type.
I wish keurig every success as they attempt to rationalize their shitty business model.
posted by disclaimer at 4:35 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
101 comments and no "Pepsi Blue?"
I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or proud.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:38 PM on October 5, 2015
I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or proud.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:38 PM on October 5, 2015
Coke would have been better off just selling 2 oz syrup packets (mix 5:1 with carbonated water and you're done). It's far more efficient to make carbonated water and chill it along with the syrup, and carting home the syrup at 1/6 the weight and a comparable price (which would be cheaper for Coke, thus higher profit) is enough to make me give it a try.
The chilling of the water is the problem. There's just no good way, and it would be smarter for consumers to pre-chill water for the Keurig so that the machine only functions to keep it cold. By the time you put in that effort, what's the point of the machine.
I highly recommend buying an old fashioned soda siphon. You can get fabulous carbonation and you use little tiny CO2 cartridges for each liter. Amazon ships the cartridges to you at about 40 cents a cartridge, making them less expensive than Soda Stream per liter - and the water is fizzier.
Let's do the math per glass. Let's say a case of 24 cans is $7, so you can buy at around 29 cents a can. At home a glass would be 13 cents per glass for carbonation (using the cartridges, Soda Stream costing more like 19 cents), leaving 16 cents to match the per can price. Let's say you would pay an extra 5 cents per glass for convenience, giving Coke a retail price of 21 cents per unit in store. At a store purchase, you actually see the price per unit as 8 cents per glass cheaper, so people who do not factor in the cost of CO2 think it's a deal. All Coke has to do is save that same 8 cents per can in manufacturing and shipping costs, which one would hope they could do, and they brake even. After that, it's extra profit.
How could Coke not run these numbers and see this is the way to go? Hell, they could make the price still $7/case for just syrup and there would be a market. But something that is less convenient, tastes worse, and costs a multiple of a can? Forget it.
posted by Muddler at 4:39 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
The chilling of the water is the problem. There's just no good way, and it would be smarter for consumers to pre-chill water for the Keurig so that the machine only functions to keep it cold. By the time you put in that effort, what's the point of the machine.
I highly recommend buying an old fashioned soda siphon. You can get fabulous carbonation and you use little tiny CO2 cartridges for each liter. Amazon ships the cartridges to you at about 40 cents a cartridge, making them less expensive than Soda Stream per liter - and the water is fizzier.
Let's do the math per glass. Let's say a case of 24 cans is $7, so you can buy at around 29 cents a can. At home a glass would be 13 cents per glass for carbonation (using the cartridges, Soda Stream costing more like 19 cents), leaving 16 cents to match the per can price. Let's say you would pay an extra 5 cents per glass for convenience, giving Coke a retail price of 21 cents per unit in store. At a store purchase, you actually see the price per unit as 8 cents per glass cheaper, so people who do not factor in the cost of CO2 think it's a deal. All Coke has to do is save that same 8 cents per can in manufacturing and shipping costs, which one would hope they could do, and they brake even. After that, it's extra profit.
How could Coke not run these numbers and see this is the way to go? Hell, they could make the price still $7/case for just syrup and there would be a market. But something that is less convenient, tastes worse, and costs a multiple of a can? Forget it.
posted by Muddler at 4:39 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
How could Coke not run these numbers and see this is the way to go? Hell, they could make the price still $7/case for just syrup and there would be a market. But something that is less convenient, tastes worse, and costs a multiple of a can? Forget it.
I think we all agree. But at the same time, it's not hard to understand how they ended up going down this stupid road: they saw the money Keurig was getting per serving for coffee and they wanted a cash cow like that. The problem is Keurig was able to position itself as an alternative to going to a coffee shop. "Now, instead of paying $4.50 at Starbucks, you can pay $1.25 at home!" Whether it merits that comparison is another conversation, but that is definitely the marketing many people are buying.
What is the sales pitch for at-home Coke? "Now, instead of paying $1.00 at the corner store for 16 ounces, you can pay $1.25 at home for eight"? Even if it was easy and tasted great, it's terrible math no one was ever going to sign up for.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 4:45 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think we all agree. But at the same time, it's not hard to understand how they ended up going down this stupid road: they saw the money Keurig was getting per serving for coffee and they wanted a cash cow like that. The problem is Keurig was able to position itself as an alternative to going to a coffee shop. "Now, instead of paying $4.50 at Starbucks, you can pay $1.25 at home!" Whether it merits that comparison is another conversation, but that is definitely the marketing many people are buying.
What is the sales pitch for at-home Coke? "Now, instead of paying $1.00 at the corner store for 16 ounces, you can pay $1.25 at home for eight"? Even if it was easy and tasted great, it's terrible math no one was ever going to sign up for.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 4:45 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
To ask/state the obvious: they don't make the money on the machines but the cups and license right? What would it cost to make an automatic machine that made coffee by the cup that didn't taste bleh? Back in the 80's there used to be this vending machine called "filter fresh" that had a little window so you could see how it worked. It would grind the beans put them in some kind of resevoir and strain water through them and a paper filter that was in a roll like toilet paper. After each cup you could see this little disc of used grounds on a sheet of filter before it scooted out of sight. The coffee tasted good but thats a memory that is pre cafmania and the background is a bit dunkin donutsy. Still I wonder if a good single serving machine could sell for less than 500 dollars in the real world. Nowadays I use the Aeropress, since it is speedy and tasty.
posted by Pembquist at 4:45 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Pembquist at 4:45 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
wait wait wait so everyone's paying these exorbitant prices and making insane amounts of garbage for instant coffee???
Add me to the list of people who didn't know it was instant coffee either. Wow.
Hold on, hold on. If it's instant coffee, how do the reusable filters work? I thought people just put regular ground coffee in there? And this silly instructable is definitely showing brewing coffee from grounds taken from inside a k-cup. I think it's basically just a drip machine with the filter unit replaced by a disposable pod.
posted by mr_roboto at 4:50 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
Add me to the list of people who didn't know it was instant coffee either. Wow.
Hold on, hold on. If it's instant coffee, how do the reusable filters work? I thought people just put regular ground coffee in there? And this silly instructable is definitely showing brewing coffee from grounds taken from inside a k-cup. I think it's basically just a drip machine with the filter unit replaced by a disposable pod.
posted by mr_roboto at 4:50 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
all this nonsense god just pound up some Vivarin with a tuna can, scrape it into a paper cup of tap water, drink, then stare into the middle distance until you're ready for another eight hours of hell
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:50 PM on October 5, 2015 [40 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:50 PM on October 5, 2015 [40 favorites]
I'm skeptical of the claim that K-cups are just instant coffee. There's been so much press about Keurig, much of it bad, that it seems like it would have made headlines somewhere if K-cups were just instant coffee. It's an easy claim to test, after all (maybe I'll get hold of a K-cup and try it myself). I don't know how reputable this source is, but they claim it's ground coffee, not instant coffee. This page describes a lawsuit against a Keurig competitor for misleading customers by using instant coffee.
posted by mama casserole at 4:53 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by mama casserole at 4:53 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
Talez: Put the bicarb and anhydrous acid on the outside of tapioca bubbles and let the tapioca bubbles flow into the drink with the soda? There's bubble Coke. An actual new product!Nooo, the tyranny of the Orbitz shall never return! I've only just gotten the taste out of my month from the last one I drank in 1998.
posted by AndrewStephens at 5:01 PM on October 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
I actually really like our old Keurig machine. We get the K-cups from Costco, though. The teas and soups and now the soda thing... those are just wrong. The soup cups, especially, gross me out.
posted by sarcasticah at 5:27 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by sarcasticah at 5:27 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I also don't get Keurigs as a hot beverage solution. You can go to wholelattelove.com and get a refurbished superautomatic machine for $500 (splurge if you want to spend $1000) and use whatever you want in it. If you haven't seen these, they heat the water, grind the beans, and do a pressure brew for you in mutiple formats all with one touch buttons, one cup at a time.
Being very conservative, you can get around 100 cups of coffee from a kilo of beans (less double shot espresso, more standard coffee) with a kilo running $25. That's 25 cents a cup on the high side. Keurig's run $100, the cups around 45 cents each. Now, lets assume both machines last (I've seen Keurig's die in 2 years, but ignore that). With 20 cents a cup in savings, you need to brew about 2000 cups to get even. At 2 cups a day, that's 1000 days. Let's say 3 years.
So, if you buy a fancy superautomatic, after 3 years you are saving about $150 a year in coffee alone, you have no cup waste, better coffee, and an ability to make all forms of coffee. No DRM, no damn cup trees, no quasi-instant coffee or whatever it is.
posted by Muddler at 5:55 PM on October 5, 2015 [15 favorites]
Being very conservative, you can get around 100 cups of coffee from a kilo of beans (less double shot espresso, more standard coffee) with a kilo running $25. That's 25 cents a cup on the high side. Keurig's run $100, the cups around 45 cents each. Now, lets assume both machines last (I've seen Keurig's die in 2 years, but ignore that). With 20 cents a cup in savings, you need to brew about 2000 cups to get even. At 2 cups a day, that's 1000 days. Let's say 3 years.
So, if you buy a fancy superautomatic, after 3 years you are saving about $150 a year in coffee alone, you have no cup waste, better coffee, and an ability to make all forms of coffee. No DRM, no damn cup trees, no quasi-instant coffee or whatever it is.
posted by Muddler at 5:55 PM on October 5, 2015 [15 favorites]
^Yeah, but you didn't mention the large amount of work (cleaning and maintenance) that's required to keep a superautomatic in working order and producing tasty coffee.
posted by ripley_ at 6:18 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by ripley_ at 6:18 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
the liquid in this picture forms a shape eerily similar to the classic coca-cola bottle.
posted by coaster at 6:28 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by coaster at 6:28 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
^^ Yeah, and you didn't mention all the cheap-ass coworkers of yours that never pitch in for beans, make espressos all day when nobody is looking, then never dump the grounds out or rinse the filters. It's not worth it.
posted by JoeZydeco at 6:29 PM on October 5, 2015
posted by JoeZydeco at 6:29 PM on October 5, 2015
Actually, supers have little maintenance, at least the ones I have used. Dump the grounds tray, fill the water, and sometimes put a little tablet in and press a button for it to run a cleaning cycle. Very rarely it needs a new water filter, which keeps out scaling and helps water taste. Can't solve cheap ass coworkers. I suggest stealing their cans of Coke as payback. See discussion above on failed cold unit.
posted by Muddler at 6:33 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Muddler at 6:33 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
mama casserole: "I'm skeptical of the claim that K-cups are just instant coffee. "
They aren't, or at least not all. I don't have any used pods handy right now (coffee is more of a winter drink in our house) but I've opened hundreds to re use them for starting plants and the ones we get and my spouse's office used all contained used grounds. As shown in in the google search above.
The hot chocolate does leave an empty cup though.
posted by Mitheral at 6:42 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
They aren't, or at least not all. I don't have any used pods handy right now (coffee is more of a winter drink in our house) but I've opened hundreds to re use them for starting plants and the ones we get and my spouse's office used all contained used grounds. As shown in in the google search above.
The hot chocolate does leave an empty cup though.
posted by Mitheral at 6:42 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
DirtyOldTown: “ I use this single serve coffee maker from Hamilton Beach. It's $36 at Target, uses regular grounds, has a reusable stainless steel filter, and makes insanely strong and tasty single cups of coffee.”I went and checked and I wish I had seen it when you posted about this machine back in February. I even read and posted in that thread. If it weren't already too late for tonight, I'd be on my way out to get one right now. For the same price as a case of K-cups at the price club, you can get a machine that takes normal ground coffee, doesn't have a little fiddly basket like the "fill your own" K-cups, and takes about the same time to brew as a Keurig? I'm in. My sincere thanks.
Sys Rq: “I'm pretty sure Dasani's just straight tap water in a bottle, actually. I would be very surprised if they actually filtered it.”I actually get the Dasani precisely because it is purified.
How is DASANI made?To create DASANI water, we start with the local water supply, which is then filtered for purity using a state-of-the-art process called reverse osmosis. We then add a special blend of minerals for that pure, crisp, fresh taste.
Mitheral: “I wonder if anyone has approached this from a system integration point with water coolers. If you made the dispenser self cleaning in some way and just added the controls to a plumbed in water cooler the cost point would be a lot less than $1000. Hmmmm.”We had something like what you describe back in the '90s in my office. It's called a Breakmate machine. It was maintained by the same people who serviced the coffee machines. It was much more economical for our office with only a few dozen people than a "home" soda fountain. Too bad it was a bit of a pain to work with and is now considered a failure.
posted by ob1quixote at 6:57 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
If you want to taste what K-cups should have been, try Nespresso. The coffee it makes is really, really, genuinely good, even for a coffee snob like me. Sadly it's about 12 times the price.
Someday I'll have my own grind-and-brew. Someday!
posted by miyabo at 7:08 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Someday I'll have my own grind-and-brew. Someday!
posted by miyabo at 7:08 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
I just use a soda stream because fucking going out and actually buying club soda for cocktails. My water filter pitcher and carbonation machine will just fine thank you very much.
posted by Ferreous at 7:11 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Ferreous at 7:11 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
We have a Keurig at the office. All of us who use it know that it produces sub-optimal coffee. We are all okay with that. The reason we use it, and like it, is because we all like different varieties of coffee, and this lets us each have our own coffee, a cup at a time. It's a compromise we are willing to accept.
This Kold thing, though. Why. Why?!
posted by xedrik at 7:14 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
This Kold thing, though. Why. Why?!
posted by xedrik at 7:14 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I don't like or drink Soda or Coffee, so I win, suckers.
posted by signal at 7:16 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by signal at 7:16 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
So do people not know about Nespresso? Their pods are aluminum and ground coffee, which I was breaking apart by hand to recycle and compost until the boutique opened up in my city and now I take all my pods back in a bag they provide, to be recycled.
And most importantly their coffee is good. Like, it's been an open secret that many Michelin starred restaurants serve it.
The only thing kurig had on them was they were espresso-only but their new machines and pods do drip coffee
posted by danny the boy at 7:17 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
And most importantly their coffee is good. Like, it's been an open secret that many Michelin starred restaurants serve it.
The only thing kurig had on them was they were espresso-only but their new machines and pods do drip coffee
posted by danny the boy at 7:17 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
I'm kind of fascinated by what would be in one of those coke keurig cups.... I kind of imagine that if you just opened the pod and ate the contents it would be poison somehow.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:30 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:30 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Next up in the ol Keurig idea parade: instant beer! Just need some ethanol, hop syrup, some malt powder, and these awesome carbonation balls and voila, instant skunk. Maybe throw in some dried hop leaves for the "dry - hopped IPA" type beverage.
I prefer my coffee flavored beverine gray, with Creamium (tm).
posted by Existential Dread at 7:38 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I prefer my coffee flavored beverine gray, with Creamium (tm).
posted by Existential Dread at 7:38 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I kind of imagine that if you just opened the pod and ate the contents it would be poison somehow.
You mean, drinking a Keurig soda that's all pod?
posted by Flashman at 7:44 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
You mean, drinking a Keurig soda that's all pod?
posted by Flashman at 7:44 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
120 Comments and nobody mentions Fizzies?
posted by TDavis at 7:46 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by TDavis at 7:46 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
The culprit? He didn't know that he was supposed to clean the machine which led to an infestation of ants in it.
This is a real thing! And it's not just about cleaning the machine. Keurig machines are a spectacular habitat for ants. They'll just keep coming back, even if you clean the machine.
That's the missed marketing opportunity. They should sell them out of the backs of comic books. With cartoons of an ant family - like sea monkeys.
posted by vitabellosi at 7:54 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
This is a real thing! And it's not just about cleaning the machine. Keurig machines are a spectacular habitat for ants. They'll just keep coming back, even if you clean the machine.
That's the missed marketing opportunity. They should sell them out of the backs of comic books. With cartoons of an ant family - like sea monkeys.
posted by vitabellosi at 7:54 PM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
"Send in this coupon for your free ant pod!"
posted by moonmilk at 7:55 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by moonmilk at 7:55 PM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
So if you want, you can basically make something that's a linear combination of a coffee and a protein-rich ant soup?
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:30 PM on October 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:30 PM on October 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
We sprinkle our grounds on the hostas out back - they grow like crazy. Happy hostas.
posted by parki at 8:32 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by parki at 8:32 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Who are you people using the Keurig machine to make coffee?. I drank approximately twenty cups of tea* today thanks to my Keurig instant hot water machine.
*No not pod tea, dammit. I'm an American. My tea comes in bags.
posted by annathea at 8:42 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
*No not pod tea, dammit. I'm an American. My tea comes in bags.
posted by annathea at 8:42 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
At first I thought robocop is bleeding was joking, but now he's way too quiet and I'm just hoping he's okay.
posted by queensissy at 8:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by queensissy at 8:43 PM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Checking in from Europe, gobsmacked that someone's taken the waste and cost of nespresso and paired it with a coffee that tastes much worse than their pretty ok coffee. Smart move!
I had no idea about nespresso working with Michelin-starred restaurants. It absolutely makes sense from a space and consistency perspective, but having flipped through a few articles it's clear there's huge marketing benefit to nespresso themselves. I'd feel safe assuming the top places get the machines and pods free - given they've got the budget to hire Clooney, I wonder if the kickbacks go much further than that...
posted by ominous_paws at 9:11 PM on October 5, 2015
I had no idea about nespresso working with Michelin-starred restaurants. It absolutely makes sense from a space and consistency perspective, but having flipped through a few articles it's clear there's huge marketing benefit to nespresso themselves. I'd feel safe assuming the top places get the machines and pods free - given they've got the budget to hire Clooney, I wonder if the kickbacks go much further than that...
posted by ominous_paws at 9:11 PM on October 5, 2015
(sorry for the slight topic drift, but the soda thing is such a tyre fire I've got nothing to say really, crikey)
posted by ominous_paws at 9:13 PM on October 5, 2015
posted by ominous_paws at 9:13 PM on October 5, 2015
The Aeropress changed my life. Seriously. It's the best way to have a single serving of coffee.
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:14 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:14 PM on October 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
I made my own carbonation system based on these instructions. It's a bit awkward and unwieldy, but it works pretty well....
posted by ph00dz at 9:26 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ph00dz at 9:26 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
If you want to taste what K-cups should have been, try Nespresso. The coffee it makes is really, really, genuinely good, even for a coffee snob like me. Sadly it's about 12 times the price.
I'm paying 70 cents a cup for their own brand and Keurig is similar, maybe down to 50 cents?
Worth it not to taste the plastic and worry about hormone disruption.
posted by TenaciousB at 9:37 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm paying 70 cents a cup for their own brand and Keurig is similar, maybe down to 50 cents?
Worth it not to taste the plastic and worry about hormone disruption.
posted by TenaciousB at 9:37 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'll second the Aeropress, even though that's not the topic of conversation. Once I have hot water and ground beans, I can make an amazing cup of coffee in about 45 seconds, including cleaning the thing.
posted by WaylandSmith at 9:40 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by WaylandSmith at 9:40 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
So do people not know about Nespresso?
Yup, once you're done with the stale, watery evil of Keurig, why not step up to the rich, full flavor evil of Nestle?
After that... well, I'm sure Halliburton is going to make a coffeemaker eventually.
posted by rokusan at 10:03 PM on October 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
Yup, once you're done with the stale, watery evil of Keurig, why not step up to the rich, full flavor evil of Nestle?
After that... well, I'm sure Halliburton is going to make a coffeemaker eventually.
posted by rokusan at 10:03 PM on October 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
We have a Tassimo at work (UK here; I don't even know if they have Tassimo in the US), and we used it religiously for a while and eventually switched back to regular instant coffee simply because of the price. We were spending £30 a month for pods when work provides free tea and instant coffee. Instant coffee may not be as nice, but if I really want nice coffee I can wake up 10 minutes earlier in the morning and make my own using my moka pot. Work coffee is there to get me through my day.
/my coffee story
posted by toerinishuman at 11:16 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
/my coffee story
posted by toerinishuman at 11:16 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
wait wait wait so everyone's paying these exorbitant prices and making insane amounts of garbage for instant coffee???
That too.
I sometimes wish Starbucks would drop Via packets down to $0.50 at CostCo and deal a death blow to this "Keurig." But packets are teh shit too, so give me a nice tin can of instant that I can go nuts with. I like "real coffee" of all brewing methodologies but Starbuck's Pike Place roast isn't bad in Via form.
posted by aydeejones at 12:00 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
That too.
I sometimes wish Starbucks would drop Via packets down to $0.50 at CostCo and deal a death blow to this "Keurig." But packets are teh shit too, so give me a nice tin can of instant that I can go nuts with. I like "real coffee" of all brewing methodologies but Starbuck's Pike Place roast isn't bad in Via form.
posted by aydeejones at 12:00 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Side note: He'd also add in spoonful after spoonful of powdered creamer, stir it, pull the spoon out caked with soggy creamer, slurp it clean like a mule eating an apple, and then plop the spoon back in the creamer can for next time. He'd serve VIPs with this spoon, too. All of us who saw him "clean" the spoon that day vowed to never take him up on his offer of creamer.
The only acceptable ending to this story is "and then he was dragged away, screaming into the night, by a pack of wild dogs led by a mysterious evil wizard."
posted by aydeejones at 12:02 AM on October 6, 2015 [8 favorites]
The only acceptable ending to this story is "and then he was dragged away, screaming into the night, by a pack of wild dogs led by a mysterious evil wizard."
posted by aydeejones at 12:02 AM on October 6, 2015 [8 favorites]
where I poured some vodka directly into a cup of Red Bull SodaStream syrup
Fortunately, in the UK you can buy a prepared precise analogue over the counter.
the devil's tincture
Yes, yes it is.
Some random thoughts.
1. If you put Soylent through this, would it immanentize the eschaton, just make a disgusting yet nominally nutritious mess, or both?
2. The world of beverage does need disruption. I would absolutely love a way to prepare carbonated drinks at home, from tap water. that had a variety of interesting tastes and were neither sweet nor unhealthy. You can sorta do this with SodaStream, but I dislike the cynical aftertaste. I want a drinks synth.
3. Due to unusual issues in differentiating the ends of certain components in my visual field, I consistently read 'pod' as 'poo'. This has made this thread considerably more entertaining than if the appropriate term had been ''capsule'.
3a. I now realise that I have to rename my pathroom the 'poo bay' and configure the home automation system to open the door on voice command.
4. The fact that Douglas Adams, Iain M Banks and Terry Pratchett are not still around to guide us through these times is pretty poor value.
posted by Devonian at 12:19 AM on October 6, 2015 [6 favorites]
Fortunately, in the UK you can buy a prepared precise analogue over the counter.
the devil's tincture
Yes, yes it is.
Some random thoughts.
1. If you put Soylent through this, would it immanentize the eschaton, just make a disgusting yet nominally nutritious mess, or both?
2. The world of beverage does need disruption. I would absolutely love a way to prepare carbonated drinks at home, from tap water. that had a variety of interesting tastes and were neither sweet nor unhealthy. You can sorta do this with SodaStream, but I dislike the cynical aftertaste. I want a drinks synth.
3. Due to unusual issues in differentiating the ends of certain components in my visual field, I consistently read 'pod' as 'poo'. This has made this thread considerably more entertaining than if the appropriate term had been ''capsule'.
3a. I now realise that I have to rename my pathroom the 'poo bay' and configure the home automation system to open the door on voice command.
4. The fact that Douglas Adams, Iain M Banks and Terry Pratchett are not still around to guide us through these times is pretty poor value.
posted by Devonian at 12:19 AM on October 6, 2015 [6 favorites]
robocop is bleeding: "keurig its me again
i filled my kold with rum
and made soda
it is very strong soda
i called it my kold bold
i drank it all on national tv
and threw up
plz help keurig
the gygax estate are suing me
you owe me"
Damn your visor for making me laugh so hard I jiggled the mouse too much to favorite this promptly.
posted by Samizdata at 2:03 AM on October 6, 2015
i filled my kold with rum
and made soda
it is very strong soda
i called it my kold bold
i drank it all on national tv
and threw up
plz help keurig
the gygax estate are suing me
you owe me"
Damn your visor for making me laugh so hard I jiggled the mouse too much to favorite this promptly.
posted by Samizdata at 2:03 AM on October 6, 2015
Asking for a friend:
Anybody have any tips for flushing what looks to be Pepto Bismol, vanilla pudding, and vodka out of a Kuerig Kold? Without turning it on because it's so damn loud and, uh, my... friend.. can't handle loud noises this morning.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:39 AM on October 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
Anybody have any tips for flushing what looks to be Pepto Bismol, vanilla pudding, and vodka out of a Kuerig Kold? Without turning it on because it's so damn loud and, uh, my... friend.. can't handle loud noises this morning.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:39 AM on October 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
The only acceptable ending to this story is "and then he was dragged away, screaming into the night, by a pack of wild dogs led by a mysterious evil wizard."
Oh, so you were at the retirement party?
posted by Servo5678 at 5:17 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh, so you were at the retirement party?
posted by Servo5678 at 5:17 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh, so you were at the retirement party?
Also a good response to robocop is bleeding's comment.
posted by moonmilk at 5:19 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Also a good response to robocop is bleeding's comment.
posted by moonmilk at 5:19 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
My household contains an absurd number of ways of making a cup of coffee, but none of them are any type of Keurig. From the beginning, I refused to believe that a decent cup could be gotten from something that looks like a creamer tub, and my experiences with them have not proven me wrong. (The only time that they've seemed useful was when I was on a bike trip with others, and we had access to electricity for the machine; if I'd had to bring my own coffeemaking supplies and/or not had a socket available, I would have brought a camping stove, something to heat water in, and a French press.) My first personal coffee maker was a Melitta one-cup machine, and that little bastard was my best friend all through college.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:24 AM on October 6, 2015
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:24 AM on October 6, 2015
Keurig's CEO is Brian P. Kelley. He started in 2012. Previously, he was President and Chief Operating Officer of --are you ready?--Coca-Cola Refreshments USA, Inc.
While "earning" his total annual compensation of $7.6 million, Kelley has presided over a breathtaking dive in stock price from a high of $157.10 (Nov '14) to yesterday's close at $54.65.
On the launch of Kold, Kelley told Bloomberg, "We're expanding from one beverage occasion. This product allows us to expand to all other day parts."
This situation is looking increasingly like a reprise of that famous Alpo commercial on Johnny Carson where, for all its beefy goodness, the dog just won't eat it.
Sometimes a shitty idea and a shitty product cannot be made better by marketing.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 5:25 AM on October 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
While "earning" his total annual compensation of $7.6 million, Kelley has presided over a breathtaking dive in stock price from a high of $157.10 (Nov '14) to yesterday's close at $54.65.
On the launch of Kold, Kelley told Bloomberg, "We're expanding from one beverage occasion. This product allows us to expand to all other day parts."
This situation is looking increasingly like a reprise of that famous Alpo commercial on Johnny Carson where, for all its beefy goodness, the dog just won't eat it.
Sometimes a shitty idea and a shitty product cannot be made better by marketing.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 5:25 AM on October 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
This is just speculation but:
1: Karbonation Beads™ are just unflavored Pop Rocks
2: The Coca Cola company finally figured out a way to get rid of their leftover New Coke syrup
3: They should all it KoKa Kola to differntiate it from The Real Thing™
posted by TedW at 5:42 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
1: Karbonation Beads™ are just unflavored Pop Rocks
2: The Coca Cola company finally figured out a way to get rid of their leftover New Coke syrup
3: They should all it KoKa Kola to differntiate it from The Real Thing™
posted by TedW at 5:42 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
our fancy cupcake shop in town charges nearly $2 for you to go to their keurig and make a cup of what i guess they call coffee.
posted by nadawi at 7:01 AM on October 6, 2015
posted by nadawi at 7:01 AM on October 6, 2015
My God - They've re-invented Fizzies !
posted by AGameOfMoans at 7:27 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by AGameOfMoans at 7:27 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Alka seltzer like tablets you plopped in water. All kinds of flavors including cola and root beer...and crazy neat when you just plopped them in your mouth.
posted by judson at 7:44 AM on October 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by judson at 7:44 AM on October 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
If we're going down nostalgia road, (and that's what the internet was invented for, right?), I'm surprised by how often Fizzies seems to have updated their packaging. The only version I ever knew was this one, and I guess it was effective because I thought they were some neat new invention when I first saw them in the 70s.
posted by benito.strauss at 8:35 AM on October 6, 2015
posted by benito.strauss at 8:35 AM on October 6, 2015
Yeah, Fizzies were the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread. In the 60's Fizzies were a "sugar-free" tablet sweetened, I believe, with Cyclamate. Unlike the Keurig machine, they were actually a sensible, portable alternative to lugging around cans or bottles of soda. Access to cold water and a glass was all you needed. I have NO idea what my palate would make of a Fizzie Root Beer today, but to a thirsty 7 year old the stuff was flippin' Ambrosia!
posted by TDavis at 8:55 AM on October 6, 2015
posted by TDavis at 8:55 AM on October 6, 2015
They were also, according to the images I found through Google, 19¢ for a package of eight. Nothing pushes a past era deeper into history than a period of inflation.
posted by benito.strauss at 9:14 AM on October 6, 2015
posted by benito.strauss at 9:14 AM on October 6, 2015
On the launch of Kold, Kelley told Bloomberg, "We're expanding from one beverage occasion. This product allows us to expand to all other day parts."
That's Kold, Jerry. Kold!
posted by mama casserole at 9:33 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
That's Kold, Jerry. Kold!
posted by mama casserole at 9:33 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
In re, modern soda fountain systems (waaaaay back there):
The boxes are smaller than a 2-4 of pop and can be stored anywhere you can run the lines. If you are a big soda drinker it's not really to much of a problem. The machines though require a certain minimum volume to not get nasty; you'd have to _really_ like soda to make it worth while.
If you've ever worked in a restaurant with a soda gun you've undoubtedly dealt with the mess that happens when the bag holding the syrup inside one of those boxes inevitably leaks. And besides all the sticky: fruit flies. No thanks.
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 11:52 AM on October 6, 2015
The boxes are smaller than a 2-4 of pop and can be stored anywhere you can run the lines. If you are a big soda drinker it's not really to much of a problem. The machines though require a certain minimum volume to not get nasty; you'd have to _really_ like soda to make it worth while.
If you've ever worked in a restaurant with a soda gun you've undoubtedly dealt with the mess that happens when the bag holding the syrup inside one of those boxes inevitably leaks. And besides all the sticky: fruit flies. No thanks.
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 11:52 AM on October 6, 2015
It blows my mind that the Coca-Cola Company is involved in this. I know, I know, they're Pure Evil and killing us all blah blah blah but still. It's been my experience that Coke's service people, at least, are FANATICALLY invested in making sure their product tastes right. I've seen them spend a WEEK repairing, tearing down, re-repairing, then eventually replacing an entire soda fountain because one of our regulars insisted that her Diet Coke tasted "iffy". Maybe the execs don't give a damn. But the folks on the trucks treat it like a sacred trust. YMMV.
That machine is never configured properly and usually winds up hilariously over or under carbonated.
This is carelessness by the restaurant, not Coca-Cola. I guarantee they're only a phone call away from having six people with grim expressions and hand trucks trooping into their place of business and tearing that machine apart.
Coke don't play, man.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:17 PM on October 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
That machine is never configured properly and usually winds up hilariously over or under carbonated.
This is carelessness by the restaurant, not Coca-Cola. I guarantee they're only a phone call away from having six people with grim expressions and hand trucks trooping into their place of business and tearing that machine apart.
Coke don't play, man.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:17 PM on October 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
It's been my experience that Coke's service people, at least, are FANATICALLY invested in making sure their product tastes right. ... But the folks on the trucks treat it like a sacred trust.
Where are these people when I ask for ginger ale and the bartender hands me half coke half sprite and insists that it's the same thing. (A simple "we don't have ginger ale" would suffice, thank you.)
posted by phunniemee at 12:23 PM on October 6, 2015
Where are these people when I ask for ginger ale and the bartender hands me half coke half sprite and insists that it's the same thing. (A simple "we don't have ginger ale" would suffice, thank you.)
posted by phunniemee at 12:23 PM on October 6, 2015
Where are these people when I ask for ginger ale and the bartender hands me half coke half sprite and insists that it's the same thing.
In what hitherto unnamed Circle of Hell does this nonsense happen?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:29 PM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
In what hitherto unnamed Circle of Hell does this nonsense happen?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:29 PM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
It has happened to me at least three times at different places here in Chicago.
posted by phunniemee at 12:32 PM on October 6, 2015
posted by phunniemee at 12:32 PM on October 6, 2015
but I wanted to visit Chicago
I am now so conflicted
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:41 PM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
I am now so conflicted
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:41 PM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
half coke half sprite
OK, I guess I live in Coca-Cola Magical Wonder Town because this would never, ever happen here. I mean, the grottiest dive bar around, the kind of place that sprays the tops of the toilets with WD-40 to discourage people from snorting rails off of them, even THEY have real ginger ale. How can you even call yourself a bar if you can't pour a Jack & ginger?! The mind reels.
I mean, I get not putting it on the gun. Only so much space. But passing off a coke/sprite suicide as ginger ale?! That's barbaric.
Never ever go to this bar again.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:42 PM on October 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
OK, I guess I live in Coca-Cola Magical Wonder Town because this would never, ever happen here. I mean, the grottiest dive bar around, the kind of place that sprays the tops of the toilets with WD-40 to discourage people from snorting rails off of them, even THEY have real ginger ale. How can you even call yourself a bar if you can't pour a Jack & ginger?! The mind reels.
I mean, I get not putting it on the gun. Only so much space. But passing off a coke/sprite suicide as ginger ale?! That's barbaric.
Never ever go to this bar again.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:42 PM on October 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
burn it down and sow the ground with salt to be sure.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:13 PM on October 6, 2015
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:13 PM on October 6, 2015
I dunno, maybe Sproke tastes good?
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:38 PM on October 6, 2015
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:38 PM on October 6, 2015
/draws line around Chicago on map to indicate infected zone.
posted by Artw at 1:46 PM on October 6, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Artw at 1:46 PM on October 6, 2015 [6 favorites]
Coke + Sprite = "Ginger Ale" was also common in Austin back in the mid- to late 90s, before it turned into a hipster paradise. I assume the ginger ale there is all house-brewed and barrel-aged now, infused with tears from the endangered Barton Creek salamander and the ginger is grown in the lees.
posted by mudpuppie at 1:59 PM on October 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by mudpuppie at 1:59 PM on October 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
this is bad and wrong.
posted by Artw at 2:03 PM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 2:03 PM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Circle of Hell
That's barbaric.
burn it down and sow the ground with salt to be sure.
/draws line around Chicago on map to indicate infected zone.
this is bad and wrong.
You know, usually when I tell people about the spritecoke abomination they just frown at me. I'm glad this unconscionable practice is finally getting the kind of attention it deserves.
posted by phunniemee at 2:14 PM on October 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
That's barbaric.
burn it down and sow the ground with salt to be sure.
/draws line around Chicago on map to indicate infected zone.
this is bad and wrong.
You know, usually when I tell people about the spritecoke abomination they just frown at me. I'm glad this unconscionable practice is finally getting the kind of attention it deserves.
posted by phunniemee at 2:14 PM on October 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
There's actually two circles. If you are in the outer circle you should evacuate immediately, if you are in the inner circle then you are already dead.
posted by Artw at 2:18 PM on October 6, 2015
posted by Artw at 2:18 PM on October 6, 2015
If I ever get an evil fey familiar I'm totally naming it "Spritecoke."
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:23 PM on October 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:23 PM on October 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
"It's fine, and not really a problem if all you're doing is brewing coffee, but those fucking soups? Hope you like your chicken noodle with a side of reclaimed coffee resin. Or tomorrow's coffee with just a hint of poultry."
What kind of person lives their way in such a way that buying weird loadouts for an expensive machine to make soup for you is preferable to like, opening a fucking can of soup. Or opening a little bag of soup. Or opening any other type of container that already contains the laziest possible food for you, essentially immediately ready for consumption? I mean, I'd frown on someone owning an electric can opener without a physical disability. Running cheap soup through a goober's coffee machine just sounds like a joke from my class strata.
posted by GoblinHoney at 4:47 PM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
What kind of person lives their way in such a way that buying weird loadouts for an expensive machine to make soup for you is preferable to like, opening a fucking can of soup. Or opening a little bag of soup. Or opening any other type of container that already contains the laziest possible food for you, essentially immediately ready for consumption? I mean, I'd frown on someone owning an electric can opener without a physical disability. Running cheap soup through a goober's coffee machine just sounds like a joke from my class strata.
posted by GoblinHoney at 4:47 PM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Coke + Sprite = "Ginger Ale" was also common in Austin back in the mid- to late 90s, before it turned into a hipster paradise.
I believe you mean hipster doofus paradise. Those hip musicians and their complicated shoes!
posted by Sys Rq at 4:59 PM on October 6, 2015
I believe you mean hipster doofus paradise. Those hip musicians and their complicated shoes!
posted by Sys Rq at 4:59 PM on October 6, 2015
I need to start ordering ginger ale more often so I can find more places to burn in good conscience.
posted by GuyZero at 5:20 PM on October 6, 2015
posted by GuyZero at 5:20 PM on October 6, 2015
Do people mc drinks with this? Because I would get very upset.
posted by Artw at 5:22 PM on October 6, 2015
posted by Artw at 5:22 PM on October 6, 2015
*Fizzies*
So that's what Delta House dropped a truckload of into the swim meet. Thirty-five years and now I know. Although I, y'know, guessed.
(Possibly one of my favourite quotes in all of cinema.)
posted by Grangousier at 1:14 AM on October 7, 2015
So that's what Delta House dropped a truckload of into the swim meet. Thirty-five years and now I know. Although I, y'know, guessed.
(Possibly one of my favourite quotes in all of cinema.)
posted by Grangousier at 1:14 AM on October 7, 2015
I actually get the Dasani precisely because it is purified.
Yeah... Tap water is already reverse-osmosis filtered. And that "special blend of minerals"? Magnesium sulfate, potassium chloride, and sodium chloride: Standard water softeners.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:31 AM on October 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
How is DASANI made?
To create DASANI water, we start with the local water supply, which is then filtered for purity using a state-of-the-art process called reverse osmosis. We then add a special blend of minerals for that pure, crisp, fresh taste.
Yeah... Tap water is already reverse-osmosis filtered. And that "special blend of minerals"? Magnesium sulfate, potassium chloride, and sodium chloride: Standard water softeners.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:31 AM on October 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Tap water is already reverse-osmosis filtered.
Maybe where you live. The crap that came out of the tap in Denton sure as fuck wasn't, considering how strongly it would reek of algae.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:11 AM on October 7, 2015
Maybe where you live. The crap that came out of the tap in Denton sure as fuck wasn't, considering how strongly it would reek of algae.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:11 AM on October 7, 2015
denton, tx? where the fish spontaneously change sex? yeah, i totally drank bottled water as much as possible when i lived there.
posted by nadawi at 10:26 AM on October 7, 2015
posted by nadawi at 10:26 AM on October 7, 2015
"We're expanding from one beverage occasion. This product allows us to expand to all other day parts."
Day parts?
posted by mr_roboto at 2:16 PM on October 7, 2015
Day parts?
posted by mr_roboto at 2:16 PM on October 7, 2015
Day parts?
I think that they probably workshopped that terminology after endless scrums failed to determine how to speak human.
posted by futz at 3:19 PM on October 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think that they probably workshopped that terminology after endless scrums failed to determine how to speak human.
posted by futz at 3:19 PM on October 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'm still stuck on "beverage occasion".
posted by benito.strauss at 4:48 PM on October 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by benito.strauss at 4:48 PM on October 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
^Yeah, but you didn't mention the large amount of work (cleaning and maintenance) that's required to keep a superautomatic in working order and producing tasty coffee.
I can vouch for the Saeco machines in which the whole brewing mechanism pops out the side so you can rinse it under the tap. Mine's about 5 years old now, a quick rinse under the tap once a week or so and no sign of that murky, pinkish flavour of stale coffee oils.
PS: I can't decide between Metafilter: expands to all other day parts
and Metafilter: still stuck on "beverage occasion"
posted by nickzoic at 5:09 PM on October 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
I can vouch for the Saeco machines in which the whole brewing mechanism pops out the side so you can rinse it under the tap. Mine's about 5 years old now, a quick rinse under the tap once a week or so and no sign of that murky, pinkish flavour of stale coffee oils.
PS: I can't decide between Metafilter: expands to all other day parts
and Metafilter: still stuck on "beverage occasion"
posted by nickzoic at 5:09 PM on October 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Tap water is already reverse-osmosis filtered.
No, unless you live in a weird place (like on a ship).
posted by ryanrs at 8:35 PM on October 7, 2015
No, unless you live in a weird place (like on a ship).
posted by ryanrs at 8:35 PM on October 7, 2015
After the mention of keurig waste in this thread I've started cutting them open and dumping the grounds in the compost (and they are full of real grounds, not coffee dust or mummy bones). They take up a lot less space in the garbage with the cups stacked up, too. Thanks for the kick in the conscience, mefites.
posted by tmt at 3:12 PM on October 10, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by tmt at 3:12 PM on October 10, 2015 [2 favorites]
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But that's just me. Always disrupting shit, yo...
posted by Naberius at 1:19 PM on October 5, 2015 [66 favorites]