"You know the thing I'll be great at?"
October 6, 2015 4:47 AM Subscribe
Your Drunk Neighbor: Some rich asshole. (Oh, and that's "Some rich asshole" for those of you without the browser add on)
oh shit the guy you would have a beer with thing
noooooo America nooooooooooo
posted by angrycat at 5:16 AM on October 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
noooooo America nooooooooooo
posted by angrycat at 5:16 AM on October 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
Didn't Colbert already call out Trump for stealing his character by playing the you or me game with him? If Colbert ran for President as a Republican doing his CC character he'd also be leading in the polls and the fact that he's playing a character would have 0 negative effect on his popularity. I think people disregard the fact that there are 6 term Republican Congressmen that spout even more incoherent drivel on the House floor. Anyone bother to listen to the Planned Parenthood hearings from last week? This is the exact kind of electorate the Republicans have bred over the last 30 years and Trump is their Andy Kaufman. It's almost guaranteed that before this is over he will challenge Hillary Clinton to a wrestling match.
posted by any major dude at 5:18 AM on October 6, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by any major dude at 5:18 AM on October 6, 2015 [14 favorites]
and Trump is their Andy Kaufman. It's almost guaranteed that before this is over he will challenge Hillary Clinton to a wrestling match.
I know this is hackneyed all to hell...but I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by lazycomputerkids at 5:37 AM on October 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
I know this is hackneyed all to hell...but I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by lazycomputerkids at 5:37 AM on October 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
If Colbert ran for President as a Republican doing his CC character he'd also be leading in the polls and the fact that he's playing a character would have 0 negative effect on his popularity. I think people disregard the fact that there are 6 term Republican Congressmen that spout even more incoherent drivel on the House floor. Anyone bother to listen to the Planned Parenthood hearings from last week? This is the exact kind of electorate the Republicans have bred over the last 30 years and Trump is their Andy Kaufman. It's almost guaranteed that before this is over he will challenge Hillary Clinton to a wrestling match
History Paranoid-Style Populism repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:54 AM on October 6, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by leotrotsky at 5:54 AM on October 6, 2015 [7 favorites]
This is so beautiful :)
First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then you're done.
posted by AGameOfMoans at 7:19 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then you're done.
posted by AGameOfMoans at 7:19 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
One of the things Hendrick Hertzberg was excited about during the '08 elections was that he saw it as a turning away from anti-intellectualism. I.e., a vote for Obama was a vote for thoughtful consideration of issues (as opposed to, for example, a vote for a ticket that included Sara Palin). I got excited too.
I have since lost that excitement. There is no limit to the depth that bluster can sink and still be attractive to the American electorate.
Political dicourse has devolved into two people shouting sound bites at each other. Well, it did that a long time ago but I had held out hope it was cyclical.
posted by janey47 at 7:35 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
I have since lost that excitement. There is no limit to the depth that bluster can sink and still be attractive to the American electorate.
Political dicourse has devolved into two people shouting sound bites at each other. Well, it did that a long time ago but I had held out hope it was cyclical.
posted by janey47 at 7:35 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
That isn't to say that this isn't hilarious. It is. It's also heartbreaking.
posted by janey47 at 7:36 AM on October 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by janey47 at 7:36 AM on October 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
Janey I think Trump 2015 is quite consistent with Obama 2007-2008.
People really don't like business as usual, and are eager for someone who signals change from the establishment elites.
Of course Obama was, and Trump is, very much of the establishment elite ... but compared to Hillary in 2007 and Jeb Bush now, they don't seem so.
And Hillary Clinton is the polar opposite of that, which is why she's running scared of Bernie Sanders and polls notwithstanding would probably love to face Jeb Bush rather than any of the other Republicans, since his pedigree and resume neutralize her vulnerability on this point.
posted by MattD at 7:57 AM on October 6, 2015
People really don't like business as usual, and are eager for someone who signals change from the establishment elites.
Of course Obama was, and Trump is, very much of the establishment elite ... but compared to Hillary in 2007 and Jeb Bush now, they don't seem so.
And Hillary Clinton is the polar opposite of that, which is why she's running scared of Bernie Sanders and polls notwithstanding would probably love to face Jeb Bush rather than any of the other Republicans, since his pedigree and resume neutralize her vulnerability on this point.
posted by MattD at 7:57 AM on October 6, 2015
Wow that was spot on.
And janey47, I drew the exact opposite conclusion from '08 than Hertzberg did. Obama, unlike Kerry, or Gore, or Dukakis, or any of the incredibly competent candidates with zero charisma that the Dems so often put up, had something that people could get excited about. He's an excellent speech giver, and there was the whole first (credible) black candidate thing. My advice for the Democratic party (that nobody ever asked for) is "Pick a candidate that people who don't vote will vote for. Some charisma, some excitement, something." It's why I'm a bit worried about HillaryC. I'd love to have her as president, especially if we could keep her in her more progressive version, but she's often kinda boring, and I worry that many of the people who came out to vote for Obama won't bother to come out to vote for her.
posted by benito.strauss at 8:29 AM on October 6, 2015
And janey47, I drew the exact opposite conclusion from '08 than Hertzberg did. Obama, unlike Kerry, or Gore, or Dukakis, or any of the incredibly competent candidates with zero charisma that the Dems so often put up, had something that people could get excited about. He's an excellent speech giver, and there was the whole first (credible) black candidate thing. My advice for the Democratic party (that nobody ever asked for) is "Pick a candidate that people who don't vote will vote for. Some charisma, some excitement, something." It's why I'm a bit worried about HillaryC. I'd love to have her as president, especially if we could keep her in her more progressive version, but she's often kinda boring, and I worry that many of the people who came out to vote for Obama won't bother to come out to vote for her.
posted by benito.strauss at 8:29 AM on October 6, 2015
When I close my eyes, his closing line "The American Dream is dead," sounds somewhere halfway between Trump and Christopher Walken, and now all I want in this world is Christopher Walken running for president as Parallel Trump.
posted by Rat Spatula at 9:16 AM on October 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Rat Spatula at 9:16 AM on October 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
"I DO know what I'm doing!"
*lights wrong end of cigarette*
That's fucking beautiful. Perfection.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:54 PM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
*lights wrong end of cigarette*
That's fucking beautiful. Perfection.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:54 PM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
all I want in this world is Christopher Walken running for president as Parallel Trump. -- Rat Spatula
You can go with this. Or you can go with that.
posted by rokusan at 2:24 AM on October 7, 2015
You can go with this. Or you can go with that.
posted by rokusan at 2:24 AM on October 7, 2015
Leotrotsky, we also have Lee Atwater to thank for a lot of this hoo haa.
posted by janey47 at 11:46 AM on October 7, 2015
posted by janey47 at 11:46 AM on October 7, 2015
Benito.strauss, my single issue with Hillary is that people who don't normally vote would turn out in droves to vote against her. She has been divisive since she first entered the public arena.
posted by janey47 at 11:48 AM on October 7, 2015
posted by janey47 at 11:48 AM on October 7, 2015
Oh man, Walken as bizarro-trump, think of the anecdotes!
posted by lkc at 12:35 PM on October 7, 2015
posted by lkc at 12:35 PM on October 7, 2015
"Y'know, I like this guy...he thinks long term, which is why he tried to extend his life beyond death. He's got a look worked out - a little heavy on the jewelry, but that's his thing - the important thing about him, though, is his strong sense of workplace.
"I like towers - I should, since I've owned several, which are the best ever. I never settle for less. This guy, he's priceless, he's got this one building up, but there's no flight deck on it, anywhere. I fly around in copters - I have to, I'm an important man - I'm worth trillions, easily. This guy, you only get in on the ground floor...and I'll admit, that can be good for setting a tone to the newcomers, such as my Apprentices. You can't come down from the sky there without getting grounded, however, and in my mind, that's just bad for business. You have to set an impression, because if you're going to be successful, which I am an expert at, it's how anyone looks up to you.
"When people look up to myself, they see my name. That counts for a lot, which is why I am worth trillions, after all. This Sauron? His logo is a bloodshot eye. Gimmie a break. That's not even trying, what with his joke tower, his joke parking, and - well, I don't know if that jewelry's real or not, but it's certainly not worth trillions. I'm surprised I'm even wasting an iota of my time still talking about this clown."
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:12 PM on October 15, 2015
"I like towers - I should, since I've owned several, which are the best ever. I never settle for less. This guy, he's priceless, he's got this one building up, but there's no flight deck on it, anywhere. I fly around in copters - I have to, I'm an important man - I'm worth trillions, easily. This guy, you only get in on the ground floor...and I'll admit, that can be good for setting a tone to the newcomers, such as my Apprentices. You can't come down from the sky there without getting grounded, however, and in my mind, that's just bad for business. You have to set an impression, because if you're going to be successful, which I am an expert at, it's how anyone looks up to you.
"When people look up to myself, they see my name. That counts for a lot, which is why I am worth trillions, after all. This Sauron? His logo is a bloodshot eye. Gimmie a break. That's not even trying, what with his joke tower, his joke parking, and - well, I don't know if that jewelry's real or not, but it's certainly not worth trillions. I'm surprised I'm even wasting an iota of my time still talking about this clown."
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:12 PM on October 15, 2015
"Slowly he turned. And then his hair turned. Majestic in all his natural glory, dressed only in a gold-leaf condom with the letters "T" "R" "U" embossed along the length. Then he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror wall, and the letters "M" and "P" unfurled above the mezzanine.
Now fully erect, Trump Tower rose above the savanna like a solid gold Pez Dispenser taped to a baboon's butt. The finest solid gold Pez Dispenser ever taped to a baboon's butt!
It was the finest Pez ever dispensed, too. (Of course!) Like orange-liqueur truffles, only Trumpier."
--excerted from Trump: The Art of the Cumback
This was meant for the recently foreclosed FPP on Amazon Trump erotica. Inserted here on request of... well, the universe, really.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:55 PM on October 15, 2015
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posted by SinisterPurpose
Eponysterical!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:01 AM on October 6, 2015 [3 favorites]