Your creep is not even a legit creep
October 20, 2015 2:15 AM   Subscribe

Indian comedy group All India Bakchod teams up with dating site TrulyMadly to present the Creep Qawwali (a form of Sufi devotional music), lamenting online and offline creepy guys.

Translation (thanks Mum):
Aa...this Professor Zuckerberg -
When he invented Facebook
(Goodbye Orkut)
There was one thing
He forgot to mention

That in the Inbox
There are not one but two folders
In one there will be messages from your friends
And the Other folder will be the...creeps.
(Oh, my! What can I say?)

I have seen the Other folder
Couldn't believe my eyes
There were 50 messages
From all the jerky guys
I opened the first message
It was a revelation

Hey thr u lukn gr88 88888888 !!!
Hey naive child
(Hey naive child)
Who the hell are you?
(Who are you, who are you who are you)

Hey, hang on, hang on,
He is typing
(Oh beb ur really kewt
Come to my handsome self B) B) B)
ROFL, ROFL, ROFL, LMAO
ROFL, ROFL, ROFL, LMAO
ROFL, ROFL, ROFL, LMAO
ROFL, ROFL, ROFL, LMAO

By reading my Other folder
I now believe...
(By reading my Other folder
I now believe...)

On the Internet,
oh on the Internet,
There are no shortage of lovers

No one is creepier then my creep
No one is creepier then my creep
No one is creepier then my creep

Actually your creep isn't even a legit creep
For my wedding he is someone
My mom... would like to meet
(Oooh burn!)

In the evening, I came back home
After a long day at work, ok?
Under my building
A jerk was standing there

Next day, again we met
First as a guard (what?)
Then as a porter/liftman (no!)
Morning, evening, night we met

Next day he brought pizza
Said something really shady
Really shady, really shady
What he said was really shady
"I deliver your pizza
Will you deliver my baby
Will you deliver my baby"

Your creep is nowhere but Facebook
I can bet you my creep is hiding somewhere near here

In my neighbourhood
In my neighbourhood there are no shortages of lovers
Mere mohalle mein aashiqon ki kami nahi hai

No one is creepier then my creep
No one is creepier then my creep
No one is creepier then my creep

No one is creepier then my creep
No one is creepier then my creep

My creep has asked for my hand (?)
My creep has already given his hand (?)
He has distributed my wedding cards
He has already named my baby
My creep has sent me his picture via WhatsApp
My creep has sent me his dickpics via WhatsApp
He always tags me in his pictures
...He also always tags me in his pictures
In his profile picture are expensive cars
...His profile picture also has expensive cars
My creep calls me "bulbul" (songbird) with love
...My creep calls me "bulbul" (songbird) with love

Does your creep's name start with an S?
Does your creep's surname start with a K?

Suresh?
Kumar?

In this world
In this world
In this world there are no shortage of lovers

No creep is creepier than our creep
No creep is creepier than our creep
No creep is creepier than our creep
No creep is creepier than our creep
No creep is creepier than our creep
posted by divabat (21 comments total) 40 users marked this as a favorite
 
This is great. Is the language shifting characteristic of the genre?

Also, ROFL-ROFL-ROFL-LMAO!
posted by Joe in Australia at 2:53 AM on October 20, 2015


Joe in Australia: Code-switching is pretty common amongst modern Indians, not particularly of any genre.
posted by divabat at 3:00 AM on October 20, 2015 [4 favorites]


Haaaaaa... the other folder is my face is not my Facebook profile pic.
posted by zennie at 4:39 AM on October 20, 2015


I deliver your pizza
Will you deliver my baby


This was my favorite line, though the whole thing is great.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:28 AM on October 20, 2015


I love this. It is so clever and catchy, and I love it where the backup singers proffer tea and samosas when she's singing about her mom meeting the guy.

All India Bakchod previously on Metafilter. They're hilarious.
posted by Ziggy500 at 5:39 AM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


Jala diya, by god
posted by vanar sena at 6:39 AM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is hilarious but also appallingly catchy; I now have it stuck in my head. I love the moment where she identifies her creep hiding in the room and the look on their faces when they identify him as one and the same.
posted by Aravis76 at 10:09 AM on October 20, 2015


I'm never going to be able to pronounce LMAO any other way now, and I'm perfectly fine with that.

My two favorite All India Bakchod videos:

Imran Khan answers questions about being gay and Section 377. (Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code dates back to 1860 / the British Raj and criminalizes "unnatural" sexual acts, including homosexuality; it was declared unconstitutional by the High Court of Delhi in 2009; the Supreme Court of India overturned that decision in 2013.)

Rape: It's Your Fault (tw: some violence).
posted by Errant at 10:13 AM on October 20, 2015


YESSSS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE TRANSLATION, BLESSINGS UPON YOUR HOUSE. I've been humming bits of this for weeks now.
posted by cendawanita at 12:13 PM on October 20, 2015


This is all kinds of delightful, thank you. And thank your mum!
posted by redsparkler at 3:54 PM on October 20, 2015


Oh my god, this is amazing. Thank your for linking, and thank you for the translation!
posted by yasaman at 4:29 PM on October 20, 2015


ROFL, ROFL, ROFL, LMAO!

This deserves a place in the pantheon of Best Things Ever. Thanks, divabat (and divabat's mum)!
posted by homunculus at 6:34 PM on October 21, 2015




My mum just told me that "ROFL ROFL ROFL LMAO" has started creeping (heh) into her PRAYERS. Mashallah
posted by divabat at 5:53 AM on October 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


Terrible Creep Qawwali parody/sequel:

Side A: Ugh, Twitter creeps!
Side B: *in fedoras* Well acccctuuuaalllllyyyy~~~

#hashtaghashtagMilady
posted by divabat at 7:03 AM on October 25, 2015


Before I forget, does "your creep is not even a legit creep" mean "your creep isn't actually very creepy"?
posted by Joe in Australia at 1:45 PM on October 25, 2015


That's the implication, yeah. That he's such a non-creep he's actually a marriage prospect.
posted by divabat at 4:54 PM on October 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is AMAZING.
posted by schroedinger at 7:51 PM on October 25, 2015


Wooooooooooow
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:34 PM on October 27, 2015




I cannot possibly express my gratitude for that, Potomac Avenue.
posted by Joe in Australia at 7:36 PM on October 27, 2015


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