In the grim darkness of the fur future, there is only war
October 23, 2015 9:14 AM Subscribe
"On the shores of Payette Lake are crates full of beavers, part of a shipment to be dropped in the primitive area by parachute from an airplane." A clip from Fur for the Future, a recently rediscovered documentary from 1948 about Idaho Fish and Game parachuting beavers into the state's backcountry.
You just know those beavers went on to be insufferable to their kids, right?
"Oh, you had a little trouble with the Dam today, huh? That sounds rough. I mean, it's no parachuting out of an airplane, but still, I'm sure it's very hard for you."
/jewishmotherbeaver
posted by leotrotsky at 9:39 AM on October 23, 2015 [13 favorites]
"Oh, you had a little trouble with the Dam today, huh? That sounds rough. I mean, it's no parachuting out of an airplane, but still, I'm sure it's very hard for you."
/jewishmotherbeaver
posted by leotrotsky at 9:39 AM on October 23, 2015 [13 favorites]
...and why no grand beavers? You too good for the girl beavers? You should meet Susan's daughter, lovely girl, comes to temple every week with her mother. Beautiful voice. But no, you'd rather your mother die alone, so selfish. You know, Frannie's son built her a lovely Dam down in Boca, but you? Nothing! Why? Oh, because you're an Artist!
posted by leotrotsky at 9:46 AM on October 23, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by leotrotsky at 9:46 AM on October 23, 2015 [12 favorites]
I can't watch the video now- somebody please tell me the scenes of the parachute drops were rescored to "Flight of the Valkyries".
"Smell that? You smell that? Beaver, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of beaver in the morning."
posted by happyroach at 10:01 AM on October 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
"Smell that? You smell that? Beaver, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of beaver in the morning."
posted by happyroach at 10:01 AM on October 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
YES i was just searching for the youtube doubler to do that very thing.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:05 AM on October 23, 2015
posted by poffin boffin at 10:05 AM on October 23, 2015
I also enjoy dropping voracious large-toothed invasive beasts from the sky. Good to know I would fit in at Idaho Fish and Game.
posted by LegallyBread at 10:30 AM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by LegallyBread at 10:30 AM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
The beaver emerging from the crate at 9:05 has just about the best real-life version of the "resigned animal" face made famous by dish-washing mammoths on the Flintstones that I have ever seen.
posted by Shepherd at 10:37 AM on October 23, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by Shepherd at 10:37 AM on October 23, 2015 [8 favorites]
My husband: "I am sorry you are having a terrible day at work. Here, I found a video about them parachuting beavers into Idaho."
*watches video*
Me, in return email: "Uh, thanks, but you know this repopulation program sounds like it was to take their fur, right???"
/bonus for the marten fucking up the ranger though
posted by Kitteh at 10:39 AM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
*watches video*
Me, in return email: "Uh, thanks, but you know this repopulation program sounds like it was to take their fur, right???"
/bonus for the marten fucking up the ranger though
posted by Kitteh at 10:39 AM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Heh, I almost posted this last night, but was agonizing over the title of the post and couldn't get the "parachuting beavers" imagery exactly right in a manner that wouldn't bring up images of... well.... see the problem here?
(I also kept going to "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys beavers could fly!")
posted by HuronBob at 11:06 AM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
(I also kept going to "As God is my witness, I thought
posted by HuronBob at 11:06 AM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
in my mind all beavers everywhere will henceforth be Jewish. I don't know why it's so perfect, but it is.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 11:22 AM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 11:22 AM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
In my mind all beavers everywhere will henceforth be Jewish. I don't know why it's so perfect, but it is.
I don't want to ruin the election for you, but next time you hear Bernie Sanders, just try not to think of the aardvark (and, according to the comments, I guess it's not just me.)
posted by The Bellman at 11:37 AM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
I don't want to ruin the election for you, but next time you hear Bernie Sanders, just try not to think of the aardvark (and, according to the comments, I guess it's not just me.)
posted by The Bellman at 11:37 AM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Heter dropped Geronimo on a landing field, over and over and over again. Each time, Geronimo popped out of the box, was caught by handlers, and put back inside for another ride. Poor fellow! He finally became resigned, and as soon as we approached him, would crawl back into his box ready to go aloft again.
This is just sad -- but hilarious.
posted by JackFlash at 11:45 AM on October 23, 2015 [6 favorites]
This is just sad -- but hilarious.
posted by JackFlash at 11:45 AM on October 23, 2015 [6 favorites]
This is assuming the Geronimo was unhappy with flying...
Maybe, after a couple test runs, he learned that getting in the box means you get to go up in an airplane and then parachute down again.
That might also explain his behavior after the last drop. He lingered in his box; although he was never to fly again.
posted by ethansr at 12:06 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Maybe, after a couple test runs, he learned that getting in the box means you get to go up in an airplane and then parachute down again.
That might also explain his behavior after the last drop. He lingered in his box; although he was never to fly again.
posted by ethansr at 12:06 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
"There's moose all over this area. Looks like you guys are going to be surrounded."
"We're parabeavers, Lieutenant. We're supposed to be surrounded."
posted by officer_fred at 12:13 PM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
"We're parabeavers, Lieutenant. We're supposed to be surrounded."
posted by officer_fred at 12:13 PM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
for the last hour whenever I've gotten frustrated with work I've taken a few seconds to think about what a beaver bar mitzvah is like. cheers me right up.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:18 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:18 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
If you google "Beaver Bar Mitzvah" you get lists of Bar Mitzvah DJ's in:
Beaver, Arkansas
Beaver, Alaska
Beaver County, Utah
Beaver Dam, Wisconsin
and
Beaver, Pennsylvania.
There's probably a meaningful conclusion one could draw from that, but I'll be damned if I know what it is.
Also, Once Upon A Time, The Catholic Church Decided That Beavers Were Fish
posted by zarq at 12:45 PM on October 23, 2015
Beaver, Arkansas
Beaver, Alaska
Beaver County, Utah
Beaver Dam, Wisconsin
and
Beaver, Pennsylvania.
There's probably a meaningful conclusion one could draw from that, but I'll be damned if I know what it is.
Also, Once Upon A Time, The Catholic Church Decided That Beavers Were Fish
posted by zarq at 12:45 PM on October 23, 2015
don't want to ruin the election for you, but next time you hear Bernie Sanders, just try not to think of the aardvark (and, according to the comments, I guess it's not just me.)The instant hole represents the anonymous limitless campaign donations from the top 1% of the top 1% enabled by the Citizens United decision.
(the balloon is democracy. I guess the ant represents Wall Street firms?)
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:48 PM on October 23, 2015
Whatever you do, do not google "Jewish Beaver" at work.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:12 PM on October 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:12 PM on October 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
I don't know what this is but it is the best thing on the first page for that search for me.
posted by Mitheral at 3:46 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Mitheral at 3:46 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Current plans to repopulate beavers in California to help with drought
Beavers help lower nitrogen levels in water.
posted by larrybob at 5:21 PM on October 23, 2015
Beavers help lower nitrogen levels in water.
posted by larrybob at 5:21 PM on October 23, 2015
This morning, on the way to work, I avoided hitting a beaver crossing the road. My commute involves a windy rural road. I nod to the horses and cows I pass every day, then there's the deer, squirrels, raccoons, turtles, possums, chipmunks, geese (Canadian and not) and wild turkeys I see every so often. (I keep a list, really.) Today was my first beaver sighting. I am interpreting this post as said beaver sending its thanks for my careful driving.
posted by Ruki at 5:41 PM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Ruki at 5:41 PM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
Yet another opportunity for the aspiring DJ. Title "Crates full of beavers" should be classic house style. Rising pitch no bass yuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhYUHYUHYUHYUHYUH BEAVERDROP! DOOF DOOF DOOF DOOF DOOF...
posted by boilermonster at 10:40 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by boilermonster at 10:40 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Beaver reintroduction programs are (and were, in the amazing parachute experiment) neat, but overall beaver are still mostly managed as varmints (meaning trapped, shot, and otherwise exterminated). They are irreplaceably important ecologically, but are also mostly incompatible with infrastructure and other human activities, including houses, farming, and roads.
Because we first mostly extirpated the beaver and then built our infrastructure, we've never had to learn how to live with beavers at even a fraction of their historical populations. As the link just above notes, reintroducing beaver is going to be a key part of resolving water issues in the west, but good luck making that work with ranching, culverts, and housing developments.
posted by Dip Flash at 12:52 AM on October 24, 2015
Because we first mostly extirpated the beaver and then built our infrastructure, we've never had to learn how to live with beavers at even a fraction of their historical populations. As the link just above notes, reintroducing beaver is going to be a key part of resolving water issues in the west, but good luck making that work with ranching, culverts, and housing developments.
posted by Dip Flash at 12:52 AM on October 24, 2015
I saw the headline in the news earlier, but I knew it would be on the Blue and better for it.
So ... boxes. That explains much. I had been wondering how each beaver was to remove its parachute. I mean, sure, gnaw through it, but how long would that take, and with the streamers and canopy trailing behind?
This is why I need women to find me handsome, because I'm sure not handy.
posted by bryon at 2:10 AM on October 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
So ... boxes. That explains much. I had been wondering how each beaver was to remove its parachute. I mean, sure, gnaw through it, but how long would that take, and with the streamers and canopy trailing behind?
This is why I need women to find me handsome, because I'm sure not handy.
posted by bryon at 2:10 AM on October 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
Current plans to repopulate beavers in California to help with drought
And they could help bring back the Coho salmon.
posted by homunculus at 10:17 PM on October 25, 2015 [1 favorite]
And they could help bring back the Coho salmon.
posted by homunculus at 10:17 PM on October 25, 2015 [1 favorite]
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posted by wenestvedt at 9:31 AM on October 23, 2015