Just a bunch of blondes in a swimming pool
November 15, 2015 1:50 PM   Subscribe

 
Adorable snugglable puppies!

Nightmare fuel audio track!
posted by obfuscation at 1:57 PM on November 15, 2015 [19 favorites]


Puppies are all right, but humans suck, as usual.
posted by nicolin at 2:04 PM on November 15, 2015 [5 favorites]


Wow - I just looked at the pool's homepage - apparently, there are swimming pools for dogs - and the rates are $100 an hour per dog. So that's an expensive little bundle of cute there.

I wonder if they're hiring.
posted by bibliowench at 2:15 PM on November 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


Yeah, mute the sound or you will want to kill the shrieky people.
posted by languagehat at 2:17 PM on November 15, 2015 [7 favorites]


my new band naturally "Intrepid Band of Puppies"
posted by infini at 2:19 PM on November 15, 2015 [4 favorites]


Sometimes the darkness in life can be overwhelming. Like, why aren't there eight golden retriever puppies bounding around me right now? Life is cruel, man.
posted by mudpuppie at 2:29 PM on November 15, 2015 [10 favorites]


I had no idea just how badly I really needed to see adorable puppies going swimming the first time. Thanks for this.
posted by xarnop at 2:33 PM on November 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


The $100 an hour rate isn't per dog which makes it seem less terrifyingly high. They allow up to 3 dogs per session according to their scheduling page. I assume special dispensation was sought for more but smaller dogs.
posted by jacquilynne at 2:55 PM on November 15, 2015


I guess you all have never taken a bunch of puppies swimming for the first time, so it makes sense that you would not be familiar with the fact that this activity produces involuntary high-pitched noises in humans.

Seriously, this (minus the shrieking, I hope, but I can't swear to it) reminds me of when we took my puppy and his sister swimming for the first time. We (four humans, the puppies, and an adult, rather grumpy dog) took them to a dog beach at a lake.

My dog had already been in the water before and loved it, but had never swam. We did everything we could to get them to swim (as opposed to just run around in the shallow area) to no avail, until two of the humans picked up one puppy each, walked out about 20 feet and dropped them into the water, with their owners on the other end, cheering them along.

This worked for my dog, who has turned out to LOVE swimming. His sister just pawed at her human to be picked up. However, when she was being carried back, she did paddle her paws in the air (high cuteness levels there), so she was definitely getting it. We did get her to swim by the end of the day as well. To this day, she's a better but less confident than my boy dog - dogs mirroring the gender dynamics of their human counterparts.
posted by lunasol at 3:29 PM on November 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


Glimpse into the life of babies, crawling around the floor between pairs of adult legs while diffuse coos of praise swirl around. Occasionally a pair of adult arms reaches down, and then all bets are off as to what happens next. Maybe you'll be magically transported to the other side of the room, or maybe you'll suddenly be hanging upside-down. Stuff of nightmares indeed.
posted by mantecol at 3:34 PM on November 15, 2015 [7 favorites]


if I were a pup, I'd be scared by the human squealing.
The puppies are really cute, and since they are retrievers, non-surprisingly brave swimmers.

Why would you need to take them to an expensive pool, rather than the sea or a lake? When my dog has rolled himself in something disgusting, we must go to the beach. There is no way I can get him into the bathtub - there are still mud-stains in the bathroom from the time I tried. I wrap the car in disposable stuff, and we go to somewhere with clean water. I throw sticks out to get him out swimming, but sometimes he is reluctant and I have to go out as well. Man, that is cold. I need to buy waders.
posted by mumimor at 3:36 PM on November 15, 2015


Puppies are all right, but humans suck, as usual.

Man, if that ain't the working motto of the Internet, then I don't know what else it could be.
posted by spoobnooble II: electric bugaboo at 3:37 PM on November 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


Well, the pool is a warm water one, so I'm guess 'Man, that is cold' is a big part of the reason they prefer it to a lake.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:08 PM on November 15, 2015


Not every place is near bodies of water that are suitable to swim in year-round. In Seattle I hardly ever bathed my dog because most of the year I could just throw him in the lake and then hose him down, but here in DC 1. it's too cold for even my hardy dog to go in the water 5 months out of the year and 2. the closest non-filthy-polluted place for my dog to swim legally is 45 minutes away. If there were a pool I could take him to that wasn't $100/hour, we'd be there on a weekly basis.
posted by lunasol at 4:16 PM on November 15, 2015


Wow - I just looked at the pool's homepage - apparently, there are swimming pools for dogs - and the rates are $100 an hour per dog

Puppsy Blue
posted by sylvanshine at 6:33 PM on November 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


I just met an English Cream golden retriever for the first time last night! She was extremely sweet and had very soft ears and she and her owners were nice enough to let me pet them, even though I was a total stranger.
posted by jaguar at 7:45 PM on November 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


Our local dog pool is $35 for 30 minutes, with use of their bathing stations, shampoo, and dryer included. There's a punch card discount too, I think 25% off every 4th swim? Our pup loves it and loves outdoor swimming too, but seeing as it's currently 1 degree (F) out, that's not feasible most of the year.

It might be time for another eight or so puppies...
posted by charmcityblues at 7:46 PM on November 15, 2015


The sea? A lake? I live in Arizona - one of my dogs fell in a pool by mistake one time but that's the extent of their swimming. Oh, I think the other one rolled in a pothole full of water in the alley after a summer shower. She might like swimming, who knows?

Anyways, these puppies are super cute and I want to kiss all their floofy little heads.
posted by Squeak Attack at 8:08 PM on November 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


I didn't hear any shrieking. I heard humans using their voices trying to encourage the pups along, same as you would with any other babies you were being paid to teach to swim.

I'm kind of tired of every happy female voice being classified as something nightmarish.
posted by JLovebomb at 8:30 PM on November 15, 2015 [19 favorites]


MeTa
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:50 PM on November 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


I got a sense, after the first one jumped in and came out to encouragement, that a few of the others may have had a "Wait: If I sploosh, I get cuddles?" reaction. I'm probably anthropomorphizing them, but it makes a nice story in my head.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:41 PM on November 15, 2015


Thanks for the aquapups, phunniemee! <3

As for any concerns about the puppies and the noise, this is very, very good for puppies. There is a thing called "sound socialization" which is a part of overall puppy socialization that includes exposing puppies to all sorts of sounds so that they won't become fearful of unusual, loud, or odd noises. People even have Youtube playlists of noises that include things like trains, thunder, sirens, etc. to play to accustom your pup to various sounds. (These are just the first two I came across, not necessarily the best ones)

Additionally, it's a regular thing to use weird and high-pitched vocalizations to get a dog's attention in training, especially for exercises that involve getting the dog to focus on you, come when you call, or bring an item to you, for example. Here's a sort of humorous super short video of a trainer demonstrating a couple of the weird noises she uses for this.

tl/dr: no puppies were harmed in the squeeing of this video
posted by taz at 1:42 AM on November 16, 2015 [8 favorites]


She was extremely sweet and had very soft ears and she and her owners were nice enough to let me pet them

Errrr, the ears, I mean. I did not pet the dog's owners.
posted by jaguar at 7:58 AM on November 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


late as always & I'll continue on MeTa, but the vocalizations are actually how you're supposed to work with animals- I work at the Spca and that's called "happy talk". Like the person above said, that's how you encourage animals & babies who don't comprehend content but respond to pitch. Low pitches are interpreted as punishment, warning or aggression. The echo-y pool and cheap speakers can make it rather piercing, but it's not just joy, it's how you teach animals & babies to do anything, especially if they're afraid.
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 11:44 AM on November 16, 2015 [3 favorites]



we have lingered into the chambers of the sea,
wreathed by seagirls with seaweed, red and brown,
til human voices woke us, and we drowned.

posted by nicolin at 12:32 PM on November 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


in
by seagirls wreathed
wake
drown

no comma after seaweed
posted by Don Pepino at 1:11 PM on November 16, 2015


Thanks Don, The Love song ... is the first English poem I tried to learn twenty years and change ago (and I have to say I didn't search my post for mistakes - sorry for the pain) - it's the Love song, right ?
posted by nicolin at 3:46 AM on November 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Yes! It's my favorite favorite, and in my opinion introducing it to this discussion was a stroke of genius. It's fun if you think of each of those little fluffpups as a tiny J. Alfred afraid to roll up his or her trousers, and all the coaxing people as unattainable naiads, and then you can do a little mental toggle to sub out the complaining about the pitch with complaining about the rhythm... and presto! All the curmudgeons become pairs of ragged Eliotclaws scuttling along the seafloor all pissed off and muttering to themselves, "Really? Really. Apparently it's too much to ask that you squee in iambs."
posted by Don Pepino at 4:43 AM on November 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


Sorry, what did you say ? I was like, etherized upon the blue.
posted by nicolin at 11:09 AM on November 17, 2015


Apparently it's too much to ask that you squee in iambs.

True fact: The Sqeeing At The Lambs was Thomas Harris' working title for the second Hannibal Lecter novel.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:54 AM on November 17, 2015


Don Pepino: "Yes! It's my favorite favorite, and in my opinion introducing it to this discussion was a stroke of genius. It's fun if you think of each of those little fluffpups as a tiny J. Alfred afraid to roll up his or her trousers, and all the coaxing people as unattainable naiads, and then you can do a little mental toggle to sub out the complaining about the pitch with complaining about the rhythm... and presto! All the curmudgeons become pairs of ragged Eliotclaws scuttling along the seafloor all pissed off and muttering to themselves, "Really? Really. Apparently it's too much to ask that you squee in iambs.""

It was just a kind of mise en abyme.
A water-induced rĂªverie - just water - as G. Bachelard would have said, trigerred by what in the vid seemed reminiscent of T.S. Eliot's lines.

I wasn't thinking of puppies = J.A.Prufrock, but rather

we = the "we" of the poem (powerless, aging) = we, the internet lurkers
The chambers of the sea = the internet, boundless and eternal, its mysterious chambers (posts, discussions, internet stuff...), the way we roam this space still defines us as persons, humans, mortals, as G. Perec would have put it.
by seagirls wreathed with seaweed red and brown = The serendipitous, incredibly beautiful things we might encounter in our wanderings, freeing us momentarily from our condition
Human voices = actual human voices
we drown = a slightly dysphoric experience which can suck you into the depth of metatalk.

I thought it was pretty self-explanatory.
posted by nicolin at 2:22 AM on November 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


Right, right, we're all here dreaming deep in the blue. I thought you were riffing on "human voices." And deliberately breaking his sublime rhythm in order to induce aural agony and cause the waking and the drowning. Restoring us momentarily to our condition. But merely momentarily; the sea is vast.
posted by Don Pepino at 5:12 AM on November 18, 2015


On a side note : my command of the English language doesn't extend to voluntarily breaking rhythms.
posted by nicolin at 2:20 AM on November 19, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is weird because I owned a pool and had friends who had dogs and they HATED the pool. They love the lake so the only thing we could figure was that it was the chlorine, but I'm sure the pool in this video has chlorine so it must have been something else.
posted by LizBoBiz at 12:11 PM on November 20, 2015


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