I’m sweet, I’m red, and I plop out of a can.

November 26, 2015 12:04 PM

"...judging from the looks on all of your faces, I seem to be the only one who thought there was a problem. Am I correct? Wow. All right. Unbelievable." The Cranberry Sauce Has Something To Say (SLNewYorker)
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome (36 comments total)

From 2012, but in a way, timeless.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 12:04 PM on November 26, 2015

Long live the jellied cranberry sauce.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 12:08 PM on November 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

I never had any objections to canned, jellied cranberry sauce, and I always considered it a necessary part of the Thanksgiving feast. But after reading this? Forget it. Cranberry sauce is a jerk. Get off my plate. I'll have more room for sauerkraut.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:11 PM on November 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

I love cranberry sauce
posted by mumimor at 12:18 PM on November 26, 2015

My wife makes a cranberry sauce using cranberries, orange juice and sugar. Pretty easy to make and much better than the jellied stuff. Doesn't whine anyway.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:28 PM on November 26, 2015 [14 favorites]

I always grabbed the slice with the can print. I'm strange, I realize.
posted by jonmc at 1:22 PM on November 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

Pretty easy to make and much better than the jellied stuff.

Not unless it has can lines.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:35 PM on November 26, 2015 [7 favorites]

I find canned cranberry sauce one of the least offensive canned fruits, but yeah, it really is insanely easy to make your own. Whole cranberries + water + sugar to taste is the base, and then let that sucker simmer until you get bored, pretty much (keep an eye on it in the latter stages, though, it does have a slight tendency to stick.)

The best part is a surprising number of things work well with cranberries so it turns into an experiment every year. Today's was cranberries with orange peel, vanilla, black pepper, fresh lemon juice from the tree out back, and fresh jalapeño. Worked out really well-- tangy and spicy but not too bright.
posted by WidgetAlley at 1:37 PM on November 26, 2015 [4 favorites]

Cranberry sauce a la Bart
posted by TedW at 1:40 PM on November 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

I always make sauce like any portmanteau mentions (but with water instead of orange juice). The bright zingy flavor is a nice complement to the heavier flavors of potatoes, gravy, dressing, etc. I also really like using it as a "spread" on leftover-turkey sandwiches. Yum!
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:40 PM on November 26, 2015

When I make homemade cranberry sauce, I like to add 1/3 cup of Cointreau (or other orange liqueur) and half a cinnamon stick.
posted by briank at 1:41 PM on November 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

You will have to pry that can-shaped jelly from my cold, dead fork.
posted by allthinky at 2:11 PM on November 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

#realcranberrysaucehasridges
posted by notquitemaryann at 2:22 PM on November 26, 2015 [6 favorites]

Adding red wine to you home made cranberry sauce is fantastic.

Also, cranberry sauce is necessary for thanksgiving turkey sandwiches.
posted by The Power Nap at 2:23 PM on November 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

We had stuffing waffles with a maple-cranberry sauce after Thanksgiving this year and they were really good. Could see myself making more of each just to have extra leftovers.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:26 PM on November 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

I decided about five years ago to make cranberry sauce from scratch. When it was done, it was good. It also, oddly enough, tasted exactly like the cranberry desert in a Hungry Man dinner. To this day I don't know if that was a pass or a fail.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 2:56 PM on November 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

(also, when I was a kid, I was utterly baffled as to why they called this solid cylinder of stuff 'sauce.')
posted by jonmc at 5:05 PM on November 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

I first made cranberry sauce in part to occupy my time while in a post-breakup depressive funk and in part so I wouldn't show up at my grandmother's house alone and empty handed. She seem to love it, or perhaps just the fact that I made it, and I've made it every year since. I've made it with water, wine, orange juice, and orange zest over the years.

Last week I was talking to my best friend's aunt about Thanksgiving dinner and by the end of the conversation I had talked her into making cranberry sauce. Her husband is a chef at some fancy restaurant and she's a fantastic cook in her own right so I had to laugh when my friend texted to tell me how excited she was of, basically, putting a bag of berries in some boiling sugar water.

The canned stuff is still pretty good for making crockpot meatballs though.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 5:50 PM on November 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

I have a love for this stuff that transcends nostalgia, for it is truly a childhood taste.

But I admit now when we want this taste we go for Nigella's orange and cranberry and cherry liqueur thing. A thing which is just as good and horrifying, in its own way. Very recommended.

No slurp and plop, though. And if there was ever a time for onomatopoeia (my spell check refuses that word, so who knows if I got it right), it is event dinners.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:01 PM on November 26, 2015

The Weehawken jab was out of line. And, sorry canned Jell-O mold of cranberry substrate, but you are clearly inferior to the chunky stuff. DEAL WITH IT.
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:19 PM on November 26, 2015

I grew up on the canned stuff, and thought it was pretty great. I didn't have a homemade version until I was almost 40, and I wasn't sure I liked it. I've since learned to love it.
posted by Foosnark at 6:40 PM on November 26, 2015

We used to eat this stuff all year round when I was a kid, not just at Thanksgiving. Just plopped the can down in a bowl, served it with microwaved canned green beans and a pot roast from the slow cooker.

We did not have the most sophisticated meals.
posted by Small Dollar at 7:44 PM on November 26, 2015

SCHLORP!
posted by Jacqueline at 11:08 PM on November 26, 2015 [5 favorites]

I always make a batch and can it around this time every year. Then when I want some I can open a jar and have a spoonfull and keep the rest in the fridge for a few weeks. My recipe is essentially cranberries and port, with a bit of cornstarch thrown in to get everything to solidfy at the end.
posted by koolkat at 1:13 AM on November 27, 2015

I boiled up a quick batch of cranberry sauce on Tuesday night, and there's about a tablespoon left today; my BiL insisted on opening a can of the nasty, jellied glop, and he took almost all of it home.

CASE CLOSED.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:15 AM on November 27, 2015

(And if you have leftovers of the homemade stuff, put it into a sandwich with peanut butter. Oh, yeaaaaaah.)
posted by wenestvedt at 7:16 AM on November 27, 2015

I always make sauce like any portmanteau mentions (but with water instead of orange juice). The bright zingy flavor is a nice complement to the heavier flavors of potatoes, gravy, dressing, etc.

If you like zingy, try it with orange juice instead. As a kid I used to judge people based on whether they made real cranberry sauce. Not heavily so, I would just conclude "their mom isn't one of those from scratch everything weirdos like my mom." I preferred the jellied stuff as a kid and as an adult can go either way. I often buy it because I know I can focus on other "from scratch" dishes and then just open some jello to plop down with my meal. Anyone like those Lingonberries from IKEA, or Sweden or whatever they call it? Had some with goat cheese yesterday. Had lots of cheese, took a lot of dumps. Hope my post turkey day arse
posted by aydeejones at 7:24 AM on November 27, 2015

I hope it didn't kill you in the middle of typing that.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 9:44 AM on November 27, 2015 [3 favorites]

If you like zingy, try it with orange juice instead.

I have, and it's okay, but I like the clean simple taste of cranberries alone. I also use half of the usual recipe's amount of sugar, too - it's still sweet, but that lets more of the tart zing through as well.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:14 PM on November 27, 2015

You put whole cranberries, oranges (whole), grapefruit, pineapple, nuts through a hand grinder, add honey, sugar. Actually good, unlike the usual. The wine sounds good.
posted by lathrop at 1:51 PM on November 27, 2015

(And if you have leftovers of the homemade stuff, put it into a sandwich with peanut butter. Oh, yeaaaaaah.)

A good, not-too-sweet cranberry sauce is also a briliant addition to a grilled cheese. Especially with a nice spicy brown mustard on the other side.
posted by WidgetAlley at 4:56 PM on November 27, 2015

This year I discovered that leftover cranberry sauce is excellent with leftover pumpkin cheesecake.

(This year's cranberry sauce recipe featured orange juice, red wine, a cinnamon stick and a few pieces of ginger root. And some honey at the very end when I realised ohshitohshit I forgot the sugar.)
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:25 PM on November 27, 2015

There's also this. I made it one year and thought it was pretty good but it got mixed reviews from the rest of the crowd. I also made a more traditional cranberry sauce, so it was cool.
posted by TedW at 7:22 PM on November 27, 2015

I do like the canned cranberry "sauce", but on its own as a side dish; it isn't a condiment. For the stuff I actually put on food I'm partial to concoctions from the spectrum of cranberry chutneys made with garam masala.
posted by XMLicious at 2:19 AM on November 28, 2015

The flt family cranberry jello/salad recipe:
Grind 2 whole oranges, add to
1 c port wine, boil for 1 minute

While hot, stir in 2 packages raspberry jello,
2 cups chopped nuts
3 cans whole berry cranberry sauce

Pour into a 9" x 13" glass casserole-type dish and refrigerate for a few hours until set. Garnish with sour cream* and serve on a piece of lettuce. (*We have never garnished with sour cream, but that's what has been copied on every iteration of this recipe.)

Way better than a cylinder of cranberry "sauce," and really easy to do.

NOTE: 1 minute of boiling won't greatly decrease the alcohol content of that 1 cup of port. For comparison, one researcher found he had to boil a can of beer for 30 minutes before he took the alcohol content down to zero. Consider this when serving to recovering alcoholics, people with low tolerance for alcohol, and so forth.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:13 AM on November 30, 2015

Because your guests might get

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

sauced

You should copy that onto every iteration of the recipe too.
posted by XMLicious at 8:26 AM on November 30, 2015