You might say the secret ingredient is salt.
November 27, 2015 9:40 AM Subscribe
Laurel Randolph comes up with Simpsons inspired recipes for Paste Magazine - Clove And Tom Collins Pie - Little Meatloaf Men - Üterbraten - Thanksgiving edition.
Now... I kind of want to make... Little Meatloaf Men. Is that so wrong of me?
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:51 AM on November 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:51 AM on November 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
John: Well if you're inviting me over...
Homer: I practically insist. Shall we say 5:00, the snacking hour?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:02 AM on November 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
Homer: I practically insist. Shall we say 5:00, the snacking hour?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:02 AM on November 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'm sorry, no one puts Brussels sprouts on a leftover turkey sandwich.
posted by tommasz at 10:59 AM on November 27, 2015
posted by tommasz at 10:59 AM on November 27, 2015
Brussels sprouts? Hey fellas- Brussels sprouts! Well, oo-lah-de-dah mister Frenchman!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:05 AM on November 27, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:05 AM on November 27, 2015 [7 favorites]
There's very little meat in these gym mats.
posted by Lorin at 11:57 AM on November 27, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by Lorin at 11:57 AM on November 27, 2015 [9 favorites]
More testicles means more fiber.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:20 PM on November 27, 2015
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:20 PM on November 27, 2015
More testicles mean more flavor. -Lunch Lady Doris
posted by Max Power at 12:20 PM on November 27, 2015
posted by Max Power at 12:20 PM on November 27, 2015
The food-ified version of Jim Collins and clove pie looks like it could be amazing. Lemon meringue + clove + gin, kind of.
posted by 3urypteris at 12:34 PM on November 27, 2015
posted by 3urypteris at 12:34 PM on November 27, 2015
More testicles means more fiber flavor iron.
posted by 445supermag at 12:43 PM on November 27, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by 445supermag at 12:43 PM on November 27, 2015 [14 favorites]
Brussels sprouts? Hey fellas- Brussels sprouts! Well, oo-lah-de-dah mister Frenchman!
Well what do you call them?
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:47 PM on November 27, 2015
Well what do you call them?
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:47 PM on November 27, 2015
Well what do you call them?
Poughkeepsie cabbages!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:30 PM on November 27, 2015
Poughkeepsie cabbages!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:30 PM on November 27, 2015
Would have also accepted "leaf balls"
posted by JPD at 2:05 PM on November 27, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by JPD at 2:05 PM on November 27, 2015 [6 favorites]
Mussels from Brussels?
posted by valkane at 2:09 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by valkane at 2:09 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
tommasz: "I'm sorry, no one puts Brussels sprouts on a leftover turkey sandwich."
Speak for yourself. But then, you've never had my Brussels sprouts.
posted by Splunge at 2:30 PM on November 27, 2015
Speak for yourself. But then, you've never had my Brussels sprouts.
posted by Splunge at 2:30 PM on November 27, 2015
Good news, everyone! You don't have to eat meat! I've got enough gazpacho for everyone. It's tomato soup served ice cold!
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 2:42 PM on November 27, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 2:42 PM on November 27, 2015 [8 favorites]
Go back to Russia!
posted by The Whelk at 2:44 PM on November 27, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 2:44 PM on November 27, 2015 [11 favorites]
I would've gone with the all caps there, Whelk, but I suspect you know your business.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:53 PM on November 27, 2015
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:53 PM on November 27, 2015
More testicles means more fiber.
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:20 PM on November 27 [+] [!]
More testicles mean more flavor. -Lunch Lady Doris
posted by Max Power at 3:20 PM on November 27 [+] [!]
Chow-dayuh? Chow-dayuh?
It's iron. More testicles means more iron.
Say it right.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:58 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:20 PM on November 27 [+] [!]
More testicles mean more flavor. -Lunch Lady Doris
posted by Max Power at 3:20 PM on November 27 [+] [!]
Chow-dayuh? Chow-dayuh?
It's iron. More testicles means more iron.
Say it right.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:58 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best served alongside a foaming tankard of Skittlebräu.
posted by mrjohnmuller at 3:00 PM on November 27, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by mrjohnmuller at 3:00 PM on November 27, 2015 [3 favorites]
No moon waffles? That's like the first thing I think of. Then nuts+gum, butterscotch pancakes, lard glug, country fillin ("just squeeze and swallow"), crab khelosh, squid platter -- extra tentacles...
posted by lkc at 3:05 PM on November 27, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by lkc at 3:05 PM on November 27, 2015 [5 favorites]
Chicken necks?
posted by The Whelk at 3:06 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 3:06 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
That's a load of rich creamery butter
posted by kersplunk at 3:13 PM on November 27, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by kersplunk at 3:13 PM on November 27, 2015 [5 favorites]
A tub of vaseline
posted by Pazzovizza at 3:19 PM on November 27, 2015
posted by Pazzovizza at 3:19 PM on November 27, 2015
be sure to finish off the meal with a triumvirate of twinkies!
posted by supermedusa at 3:19 PM on November 27, 2015
posted by supermedusa at 3:19 PM on November 27, 2015
A previous post covered some less edible offerings. Mmm, Tom Collins mix.
posted by Lorin at 3:24 PM on November 27, 2015
posted by Lorin at 3:24 PM on November 27, 2015
Best served alongside a foaming tankard of Skittlebräu.
The Skittlebrau gag hit close to home for me. When my friends and I were 18 we went to a You-Brew sort of place and added a secret ingredient in the tank at the end -- a single Cheeto. A few weeks later it was ready in time for our annual cottage party, where Cheetobrau was served and "enjoyed" by all.
posted by Hoopo at 3:31 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
The Skittlebrau gag hit close to home for me. When my friends and I were 18 we went to a You-Brew sort of place and added a secret ingredient in the tank at the end -- a single Cheeto. A few weeks later it was ready in time for our annual cottage party, where Cheetobrau was served and "enjoyed" by all.
posted by Hoopo at 3:31 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
I like the idea of making Uterbraten, but I think it would be much easier to make a Sloppy Jimbo.
Personally, I want to know what a Marzipan Joy-joy tastes like ("Mit iodine!").
posted by teponaztli at 3:36 PM on November 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
Personally, I want to know what a Marzipan Joy-joy tastes like ("Mit iodine!").
posted by teponaztli at 3:36 PM on November 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
Or-e-gah-no? What the hell?
posted by Room 641-A at 3:48 PM on November 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Room 641-A at 3:48 PM on November 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
Steamed Hams!
posted by The Whelk at 3:59 PM on November 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 3:59 PM on November 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
Steamed Hams!
Despite the fact they're obviously grilled. Next you'll be telling me that an Aurora Borealis at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country is localized entirely within your kitchen.
posted by Talez at 4:08 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Despite the fact they're obviously grilled. Next you'll be telling me that an Aurora Borealis at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country is localized entirely within your kitchen.
posted by Talez at 4:08 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yes.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:10 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:10 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Can I see it?
posted by Max Power at 4:16 PM on November 27, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Max Power at 4:16 PM on November 27, 2015 [5 favorites]
While Johnny Welfare plays acid rock on a stolen guitar, his old lady has a better idea...
That's right, she's got the munchies for a California Cheeseburger.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 4:16 PM on November 27, 2015 [7 favorites]
That's right, she's got the munchies for a California Cheeseburger.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 4:16 PM on November 27, 2015 [7 favorites]
Nachos! Flanders style!
posted by The Whelk at 4:46 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 4:46 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
I know where we can get some baguettes.
posted by box at 4:54 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by box at 4:54 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Next up they should post a recipe for a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice - although it'd probably be really hard to get the spices right.
posted by teponaztli at 4:58 PM on November 27, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by teponaztli at 4:58 PM on November 27, 2015 [10 favorites]
Next up they should post a recipe for a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice - although it'd probably be really hard to get the spices right.
I daresay you'd come close to madness trying to find it in the 'States.
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:08 PM on November 27, 2015
I daresay you'd come close to madness trying to find it in the 'States.
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:08 PM on November 27, 2015
Unflavoured for me!
posted by yellowbinder at 5:13 PM on November 27, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by yellowbinder at 5:13 PM on November 27, 2015 [5 favorites]
Tomacco: so good, animals ask for it by name!
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 5:46 PM on November 27, 2015
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 5:46 PM on November 27, 2015
I start with the best part--the neck.
posted by box at 5:50 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by box at 5:50 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Unflavoured for me!
Actually, no joke, I was always curious to know what nonfat ice-milk would taste like. I am the kind of weirdo who would probably really like the wintergreen flavor.
posted by teponaztli at 5:53 PM on November 27, 2015
Actually, no joke, I was always curious to know what nonfat ice-milk would taste like. I am the kind of weirdo who would probably really like the wintergreen flavor.
posted by teponaztli at 5:53 PM on November 27, 2015
It's iron. More testicles means more iron.
[annoyed grunt]
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:01 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
[annoyed grunt]
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:01 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Actually, no joke, I was always curious to know what nonfat ice-milk would taste like.
Like skim milk, but colder? What else would it taste like?
posted by Sys Rq at 8:07 PM on November 27, 2015
Like skim milk, but colder? What else would it taste like?
posted by Sys Rq at 8:07 PM on November 27, 2015
They taste like burning.
posted by Room 641-A at 8:12 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Room 641-A at 8:12 PM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
They taste like burning.
Wait mister, you're drinking a candle!
posted by yellowbinder at 9:06 PM on November 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
Wait mister, you're drinking a candle!
posted by yellowbinder at 9:06 PM on November 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
Sixty-four slices of American cheese.
posted by the duck by the oboe at 9:11 PM on November 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by the duck by the oboe at 9:11 PM on November 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
Iron helps us play.
posted by darksasami at 9:33 PM on November 27, 2015
posted by darksasami at 9:33 PM on November 27, 2015
Malk. Now with vitamin R.
posted by dayintoday at 6:46 AM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by dayintoday at 6:46 AM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
The frogurt is also cursed.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:17 AM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Room 641-A at 7:17 AM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think I'm blind
posted by the duck by the oboe at 2:13 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by the duck by the oboe at 2:13 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Ten foot hoagie? Two more feet and we can fit it in the fridge!
posted by Chrysostom at 12:28 PM on November 29, 2015
posted by Chrysostom at 12:28 PM on November 29, 2015
Mmmm.... loganberry.
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 9:02 PM on November 29, 2015
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 9:02 PM on November 29, 2015
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1 pound beef hanger steak, fat trimmed and discarded
I feel the author may have missed Üter's most delectable quality.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:51 AM on November 27, 2015 [9 favorites]