Free Energy, $1200

December 8, 2015 10:59 AM

A perpetual motion cell phone charger will hit the market in the first quarter of 2016, made by Dublin-based Steorn. The OCube, powered by Orbo technology, will retail for 1200 Euros, and will be followed by additional products such as a cell phone that never needs charging.
posted by chrchr (25 comments total)

Previously
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Even more previously
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posted by Floydd at 11:03 AM on December 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

O Cube! my OCube! your fearful trip is done,
The battery has weather’d every rack, the prize you sought is won,
The USB port is near, the cell is to the ear, the users all exulting,
While follow eyes the magic wheel, the magnets grim and daring;
    But OCube! cube! cube!
      O the meter dropping to red,
        Where on the desk my phone lies,
          Fallen cold and dead.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:14 AM on December 8, 2015 [7 favorites]

In this country we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
posted by entropicamericana at 11:15 AM on December 8, 2015 [11 favorites]

Meh.

Personally I am going to wait for the iOCube. If I am going to purchase an impossible device for an inflated price I want it to be from Apple like the rest of my stuff.

SPOILER ALERT: your pre-order will not be shipped on time - or ever
posted by AGameOfMoans at 11:16 AM on December 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

The obvious lesson here is this: I should be a con artist, because it is clearly both the easiest and most profitable occupation in the world. They gathered twenty million euro of investment, on the strength of promising to overturn the foundations of physics.
posted by aramaic at 11:16 AM on December 8, 2015 [12 favorites]

Awesome how their website forwards to their Facebook page and the only way to order is to e-mail them. I went ahead and used a throwaway address to request more information on ordering, we'll see what they say.
posted by Huck500 at 11:19 AM on December 8, 2015 [6 favorites]

But maybe all the scientists are wrong! Cowards, afraid to think outside the box.
posted by thelonius at 11:20 AM on December 8, 2015

Where are gullible European billionaires when I need them? I could have sold my tiger-repelling rock for MILLIONS and be sitting pretty.
posted by emjaybee at 11:20 AM on December 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

there are no permanent magnets, no electromagnets, no moving parts or control circuitry.

If we imagine this thing actually works, it would always be working. It would theoretically create an infinite amount of energy, and even if it bled it off so that it wouldn't melt/explode, it would eventually melt/explode the entire Earth given enough time.

So shouldn't we be arresting this future Bond villain?
posted by mayonnaises at 11:20 AM on December 8, 2015

never needs winding never needs winding never needs winding
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:21 AM on December 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

Needs more rainbow fonts
posted by T.D. Strange at 11:23 AM on December 8, 2015

Something like this should be against the law!!! (Actually, I guess it is against the law, isn't it?)
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 11:25 AM on December 8, 2015

1. Pronounce outrageous physics-defying claims.
2. Get money from physics-naive investors.
3. Make first device, a battery that will last at least a year charging low-current devices.
4. Take money and run.
5. Profit!
posted by King Sky Prawn at 11:28 AM on December 8, 2015

They're trapping leprechauns in these things.
posted by Segundus at 11:30 AM on December 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

They gathered twenty million euro of investment, on the strength of promising to overturn the foundations of physics.

But there's another level to the con! They only said they received 20MM euros. We have no proof that that is a real statement of truth, either. But someone sees that and goes, "Well, they must be doing something right, so sure, here's my 1000 euros to get a pre-order." Which is never delivered.

The real con is never the big lie. The real con is the amalgamation of small lies hidden behind it.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:33 AM on December 8, 2015 [11 favorites]

If this could be scaled up enough to power my Moller Skycar then my life would be complete.
posted by AGameOfMoans at 11:35 AM on December 8, 2015

I want to see someone arrested for fraud for this, once. The claim is made over and over and it's always fraud, so quit making the damn claim.
posted by Mitrovarr at 11:36 AM on December 8, 2015

The bad news is that unless you do charge your phone with it every day it eventually explodes.
posted by GuyZero at 11:37 AM on December 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

Finally, I can break the very laws of god and nature themselves to play Atsume Neko
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 11:38 AM on December 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

I thought the tried-and-true way to get around all those pesky laws of physics was to slap a "Quantum" somewhere on the packaging and call it a day.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:38 AM on December 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

Thank you for your interest in Orbo technology. We will respond to your email within the next 24 hours.

But... that's 24 hours of free energy I'm losing!
posted by Huck500 at 11:39 AM on December 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

Previously
Previouslier
Even more previously
Previousliest

Also:
Pre-Previousliest, deleted. ("for the following reason: lame") Maybe all the rest shouldabeen, too, like any other patently bogus information.
posted by beagle at 11:42 AM on December 8, 2015

But... that's 24 hours of free energy I'm losing!

Just upgrade to the OrboPlus-based OClock time machine.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:43 AM on December 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

5W solar cell, 12v gel-cel or car battery, 12v to 5v regulator, USB sockets.

Yours for, oh heck, $599. Shipping included. Ping me for my PayPal id.
posted by Artful Codger at 11:43 AM on December 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

The real con is never the big lie. The real con is the amalgamation of small lies hidden behind it.

Lieviathan.
posted by jamjam at 11:48 AM on December 8, 2015 [2 favorites]