KOUIGN-AMANN
December 9, 2015 1:54 PM   Subscribe

 
What you really to need know is that, this year, Williams-Sonoma is getting in on the SOCIAL MEDIA KRAZE with their own peppermint bark hashtag!
I honest to god looked at the picture in the catalog and thought "what the hell kind of hashtag is #91-6221295?".
posted by Talez at 1:57 PM on December 9, 2015 [13 favorites]


Chuck Williams passed away recently at 100.
posted by zachlipton at 2:00 PM on December 9, 2015


Laugh if you want, but kouign amann are a precious gift and the brown sugar ones at Dominique Ansel Kitchen are so good they reliably induce tearfulness and reverent silence.
posted by prefpara at 2:02 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


They’re still marshmallows. They can only be so good, no matter what kind of whimsical drawings you put on them.

My daughter and I attended a candy cane making class at the local candy mecca here in town, and the host was describing the process of making marshmallows and how what you get in the store is leagues different from a fresh marshmallow that has just been made.

That's only tangentially related to the post and this is just an excuse for saying that I would really love a fresh marshmallow now.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 2:03 PM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]


Oh my god, kouign-amanns (or whatever the hell the plural is) have started showing up in our more foo-foo coffee places and seriously, I don't care if it's their real name: I should not be forced to order something orally if it's not visibly easy to pronounce.

The least they could do is include International Phonetic Alphabet right there on the label.
posted by St. Hubbins at 2:04 PM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]


I'd like everyone to know I have renounced my practice of asking impenetrable questions of the Williams Sonoma employees.

Now I got to Sur La Table
posted by the man of twists and turns at 2:04 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Yes! I've been googling for this daily (previously). Off to savor!
posted by sparklemotion at 2:08 PM on December 9, 2015


I'm hypnotized
posted by infini at 2:09 PM on December 9, 2015


Hey, I'm ahead of the kouign amann trend, in that I buy them at Trader Joe's whenever I feel I need something happy in my life. I've never had one fresh from a bakery and can only assume it would be so good that I'd die on the spot or something.
posted by PussKillian at 2:11 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


Someone is a little too cranky pants. I've eaten some of this stuff here and there in my life and it was delish. Also Williams Sonoma is tame and rather charming compared to the field of their competitors who market to the prosperous.
posted by bearwife at 2:13 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Dang.. PussKillian beat me to the punch while I was editing. Skip past Williams-Sonoma and get your tasty, tasty kouigns-amann at Trader Joe's for a fraction of the price.
posted by Nerd of the North at 2:13 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


oh hell yes by an asshole's chance back in the day I studied abroad in bretagne where there is ~authentic kouign aman~ out the wazoo. Most improbable foodie trend ever. It's tasty but still. I guess this is what happens you exhaust macarons, cupcakes, doughnuts, and whoopie pies (whoopie pies, for crying out loud!) My hipster day has ARRIVED.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 2:15 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


But seriously though... what is with the copper mugs this year? I've heard that they are the "right" vessel for mules and the like before, but they didn't seem like things that actually existed. But now they are everywhere. Bed Bath and Beyond, that weird frame store in my building that also sells tchotckes, I might have seen a set a home friggin' depot this past weekend.
posted by sparklemotion at 2:15 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Oh god, I have to admit I not only knew what a kouign amann was before I clicked through, but also how to say it. I am so very, very sorry.

Although the coffee shop near me makes them with pistachios in the middle and I think a touch of almond extract, and that shit is damned good, I don't care how pretentious it is.
posted by Joey Buttafoucault at 2:16 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


AlonzoMosleyFBI - I actually do make homemade marshmallows and they are so, so much better.
posted by Sophie1 at 2:16 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


I once paid three or four dollars for a single artisanal wild mushroom marshmallow. It was a really good marshmallow! I still think about it sometimes, which is more than can be said for most of the stuff I spend $4 on, like almost two bus rides, or the second-worst beer at a bar
posted by theodolite at 2:16 PM on December 9, 2015 [34 favorites]


how what you get in the store is leagues different from a fresh marshmallow that has just been made

Oh my god, it's so true. And it's not a value judgement, they're just different things. And those ones in the catalog are CLEARLY the same kind of marshmallow that you get in a bag at the supermarket!!! Who cares if they're extruded in Belgium. If you're going to sell a handful of marshmallows for thirteen dollars, they should at least be the fresh kind.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 2:17 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


He's wrong about the cookie "gun" (press). You need one of those to make spritz cookies, which are delicious and tiny and you will eat all of them. Every damn one. They have to be squirted out of a gun to get the right shape, they're not rolled out.

The rest is good, though. Carry on with the hate.
posted by emjaybee at 2:21 PM on December 9, 2015 [22 favorites]


maybe I'm a philistine but I've made homemade marshmallow, and while the process is hella fun, and you can add flavors and make them look all artisanal, they still ended up tasting pretty much like a slightly nicer version of marshmallow to me. it wasn't like the difference between fake syrup and maple syrup, or other things where it's 10000% worth getting the real deal.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 2:22 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


Grass-fed truffle butter. Made from grass-fed truffles?
posted by amarynth at 2:32 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


Listen, I don’t care if they were made in Buckingham Palace by whipping egg whites between Kate Middleton’s asscheeks.

I kinda care. Is there a factory tour, or a How It’s Made episode?
posted by bongo_x at 2:33 PM on December 9, 2015 [30 favorites]


I've never had one fresh from a bakery and can only assume it would be so good that I'd die on the spot or something.

It's all true. I get then from a French bakery near my house that's been there for like 20 years. Sorry not sorry, they're delicious.
posted by soren_lorensen at 2:33 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Ahhh ! The kouignn amann, personally it is there my preferred ! An unique (only) cake and without possible imitation so much its taste is remarkable.
posted by Pallas Athena at 2:34 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


I have a feeling the writer of this article has no idea what grosgrain ribbon is or why you'd need an entirely functional ribbon to stop a woven fabric from unravelling. To me it sounds akin to poking fun at a desk drawer for having dovetailing.

Why the hell you'd make a tablecloth out of actual woven tartan is beyond me, though.
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 2:38 PM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]


2012 article trendspotting the kouignn amann.

Also, you pronounce it "queen a-mahn" per the article. I know I wasn't the only person thinking "Koo-gh-n-mahn?"
posted by emjaybee at 2:38 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


If I could buy stock in "Someone defends Williams-Sonoma in the annual posting of Drew Magary's annual W-S catalog column" I'd be able to buy $13 marshmallows.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:40 PM on December 9, 2015 [8 favorites]


Marshmallows are surprisingly easy to make and (!) they originated with the Pharaos.

At least I read that somewhere very plausible and then told my kid, while we were making our own, so I'm sticking with it.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:41 PM on December 9, 2015


Yeah, I've made marshmallows and the most surprising thing about it, to me, was just how much they tasted like . . . marshmallows. From the bag.

(They are, however, notably better than the ones from the bag when toasted, for some reason. Everybody contemplating making them, come back to this post in six months when it's campfire season.)
posted by ostro at 2:41 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


A recent Pew Research Center poll found that 62% of Americans support airstrikes on Kouign Amann
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:41 PM on December 9, 2015 [42 favorites]


PSA: the Trader Joe's frozen kouign-amanns, or kouigns-amann, or whatever, are in the freezer case with the name "Queen of Croissants" because nobody will be able to spell or pronounce "kouign-amann" until sometime in spring 2016 when they hit Starbucks. They are tasty.
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:42 PM on December 9, 2015


The WS holiday catalog I got around Thanksgiving also had a copper Kitchen-Aid mixer. I made my thoughts about this clear on Twitter.
posted by Ian A.T. at 2:47 PM on December 9, 2015


Incidentally, I learned about the existence of kouign amann from the Great British Bake-Off. This has me terrified that the next cool pastry will be that gelatinous spiral brain-looking thing that all the contestants fucked up in that one technical challenge. Please do not make me eat that, trendy people.
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:53 PM on December 9, 2015 [8 favorites]


The least they could do is include International Phonetic Alphabet right there on the label.

There is a peri-peri chicken place near me, which is bad enough in itself, but right now they are promoting a new dessert menu item. There are signs up reading, as Bog is my witness:
Try our
Naughty
Natas

(na-ta-z)
Thanks so much for the assist there. That was a real headscratcher.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:59 PM on December 9, 2015


Oh I bet someone said "NAY-tas" at least once.
posted by emjaybee at 3:04 PM on December 9, 2015


I don't know, I think plain English could use additional adoption of some difficult to pronounce words. It would make the grocery aisle far less boring. Considering that the rest of us have to Anglicize our food names for y'all...you know...

Aside from names, these look delicious! I love MeFi for introducing me to new things.
posted by yueliang at 3:13 PM on December 9, 2015


Buckingham Palace by whipping egg whites between Kate Middleton’s asscheeks.

Shit, did I upload my iphone video to the cloud again?
posted by nubs at 3:22 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


They did a How It's Made on marshmallow cookies...
posted by Chuffy at 3:34 PM on December 9, 2015


I've had exactly one kouign amman, from Dominique Ansel. I mean, maybe I've had others, but that's the one I remember. The best thing.

Weirdly I lived in Brittany for a while and the only pastry I remember is far. Too many prunes, not enough butter! I obviously did it wrong.
posted by jeweled accumulation at 3:39 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm amused that he thinks Kouign-Amman are this year's cronuts. I mean, Dominique Ansel had a hand in popularizing both of them, but he started doing Kouign-Amman a couple of years before he did the Cronut. And the Kouign-Amman was already trending on the West Coast before Ansel did them. And, you know, in Brittany for like 150 years before that.

I realize this is basically the kind of food snobbery Magary is mocking, but if you're going to mock people for something, at least get the details of your mockery correct.
posted by jacquilynne at 3:50 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


I don't know, I think plain English could use additional adoption of some difficult to pronounce words

We should just make any new words spelled the same as other words, but pronounced entirely differently.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 3:51 PM on December 9, 2015


alas, i have investigated and discovered that these marshmallows had nothing to do with kate middleton - the egg whites were whipped between the jowls of a pig that david cameron had ...

the less you know, the better
posted by pyramid termite at 3:51 PM on December 9, 2015


Is the Truman Round Bar Cart named for Harry S. Truman or Truman Capote? I'm good either way. I just need to know the appropriate level of drunkenness to achieve when using it.

Also, that Penguin Sodastream? What am I looking at here? Aren't penguins traditionally black on their backs and white on their tummies? Is this a Bizarro penguin?
posted by mhum at 3:52 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


There's a local baker who studied in France in the San Francisco East Bay, and his Kouign Ahmanns are like a fuck you gauntlet throwdown to all others I've tasted; so buttery with a crispy caramelized sugar exterior. Now when I see Kouign Amanns at local cafes I don't even bother ordering them because they'll taste like stale croissants in comparison. He better stay in business or I will curse his name forever.

Excuse my digression from the subject of much deserved Williams-Sonoma mockery.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:53 PM on December 9, 2015


Metafiler: Too many prunes, not enough butter!
posted by Confess, Fletch at 3:56 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


emjaybee: He's wrong about the cookie "gun" (press). You need one of those to make spritz cookies, which are delicious and tiny and you will eat all of them. Every damn one. They have to be squirted out of a gun to get the right shape, they're not rolled out.

For what it's worth, you can totally make spritz cookies using a pastry bag, particularly the simple wreath shape (much like the danish butter cookies of blue tin fame).
posted by Lisitasan at 3:57 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Hey, I'm ahead of the kouign amann trend, in that I buy them at Trader Joe's whenever I feel I need something happy in my life. I've never had one fresh from a bakery

I had no idea TJ's carries them (and it is my go-to foodshoppery), but there is no way they are anywhere as good as the fresh-baked ones. (So yes, you would probably die of the happies.) If you are ever tempted to come out West, the Kouign Amann is pretty much the official pastry of San Francisco today and people stand in line* at the bakery down the street from me every weekend to get some.**

*granted, people here will stand in line for anything, but still

**somehow the sky is not full of people's shouts of "YASS KOUIGN!" but it really should be
posted by psoas at 4:23 PM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]


I must be the only one tired of the "Gawker tone." I'm not sure how else to describe it other than aggressive sarcasm that is being squeezed/forced/beaten out of weary writers. (And referencing Prince William's asscheeks would have been funnier. Shrug.)
posted by discopolo at 4:34 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


I heard about Kouign Amann from the food network in 2010, touted by the Neelys on the Salty Goodness episode of The Best Thing I Ever Ate, and recorded the bakery address in my phone since I'd be in SLC the following week. (Where do I go to cash in my hipster points for eating a really good pastry in 2010, I would like to get one of those mushroom marshmallows?)
posted by worstname at 4:39 PM on December 9, 2015


maybe I'm a philistine but I've made homemade marshmallow

I'll go ahead and admit that I once made homemade marshmallows, homemade graham crackers, and got some really good chocolate for homemade smores. Fresh marshmallows are amazing.
posted by Huck500 at 4:44 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


I had no idea TJ's carries them (and it is my go-to foodshoppery), but there is no way they are anywhere as good as the fresh-baked ones.

They're sold frozen, like TJ's croissants. I haven't had the K-A's, but the croissants are wonderful. You set them out the night before so they thaw and rise overnight, then you bake them in the morning. I've got two more chocolate ones in my freezer right now, for a treat this weekend!
posted by dnash at 4:57 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


The Kate Middleton bit is ironic (or maybe intentional?) because her brother makes foofy marshmallows.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 5:01 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oh absolutely Lisitasan, but he was saying you could just roll them out, like sugar cookies, and he was wrong.

And now I have an urge to buy a cookie gun and whip up a giant batch of spritz cookies. And then eat them all.

(this is why I don't make them anymore).
posted by emjaybee at 5:14 PM on December 9, 2015


I used to live near a bakery that made these (Flour for those in Ma), but they called them "butter Breton cakes" to avoid pronunciation problems (I assume). They were amazing.
The trader joe's ones are also good, definitely good enough that I do not feel the urge to try to make them myself.
posted by maryrussell at 5:36 PM on December 9, 2015


I used to have a client. Nana's Gourmet Kitchen. They're gone now. But: their specialty was handmade, hand cut marshmallows. There were plain ones, ones with toasted coconut on top, vanilla, rose-petal, some made with tea, just all kinds. If you wanted it chocolate covered, they dipped them in ganache. They had halal marshmallows. They had kosher marshmallows (some kind of fish-scale something instead of gelatin). They had vegan marshmallows. They were fucking delicious. We were there as they were developing a lot of the recipes, and it was amazing to see this genius lady mix and match flavors and textures and all that. They were fun people.

Of course the store was in the wrong location and the owners were in business for all the wrong reasons, so they didn't last. But I can't imagine those W-S marshmallows could hold up to those things. Just thinking about them makes me want insulin.
posted by disclaimer at 6:06 PM on December 9, 2015


Augh. My workplace makes these... Only we call them kweeny. Gross.
posted by Night_owl at 6:19 PM on December 9, 2015


but for real when I was in brittany kouign amann weren't that big, they'd be in some restaurants, sure, but they weren't some huge thing. Like they'd be there, alongside all the other delicious foods that French and Breton joints will continue to sell until the end of time. I'm happy you can buy interesting foods in the US from other cultures, but I'd wish we'd slow down instead of everyone being all "OMG KOUIGN AMANN/CRONUTS/MACARONS/WHATEVER OMG THEY ARE MY FAVORITE OMGGG THE BEST" and opening a million shops dedicated to them for 8 months and then promptly never buying them or mentioning them ever again except in a thread where we make fun of how they used to be a trend.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:21 PM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]


(like I don't mind trends but damn sometimes we have no chill as a culture, let things last longer than 15 minutes. then again i'm totally on the hamilton crazytrain so I guess i can't criticize bandwagons.)
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:31 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Mail-order lobster is NEVER a good idea.
posted by bendy at 7:33 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Look, homemade marshmallows are one thing.

This, however, is not an assortment of "artisinal marshmallows" or whatever. It is an example of the kind of treats your church ladies' club would make up for the annual Kringle Kraft Fair to raise money for the altar poinsettias.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:27 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Huck500, respect. I did the same thing this past summer. Homemade marshmallows are some next level shit.
posted by athenasbanquet at 9:02 PM on December 9, 2015


All this talk of pastries and marshmellows, am I the only one to see the genius line "...a dozen miniature lobster burgers (aka Demons In The Outhouse)"? That is the perfect name for the next trendy food item I hate.
posted by Hactar at 9:04 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


I can't believe I'm the first person in this thread to say that, seriously: the Williams-Sonoma peppermint bark is THE BEST. It's so yummy and we get it as gifts and people always go nuts for it (no pun). So... back to your regularly scheduled silliness! But yeah. Try that bark sometime.
posted by Zephyrial at 9:31 PM on December 9, 2015


I'm more curious about the truffle shaver. I didn't know they got hairy.

(Are the kids still saying HAMBURGER these days?)
posted by Soliloquy at 9:44 PM on December 9, 2015


So apparently it translates as "cake, butter". Which means the only appropriate way to order it is "cake, butter, trendy, with tea, earl grey, hot".
posted by Grimgrin at 9:49 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


BrotherCaine - for reals, your fellow Bay Area neighbors need the name of the bakery. This is important.
posted by pipoquinha at 10:08 PM on December 9, 2015


(much like the danish butter cookies of blue tin fame)

Are those the cookies you find at your grandmother's house that look and taste exactly like old sewing supplies?
posted by dephlogisticated at 10:23 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


GET UP AND GET YOUR OWN GIMLET, BRADLEY
posted by zardoz at 11:04 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


For what it's worth, you can totally make spritz cookies using a pastry bag, particularly the simple wreath shape (much like the danish butter cookies of blue tin fame).

LIES!

I tried that, the bag burst.
posted by ckape at 11:30 PM on December 9, 2015


BrotherCaine, no kidding. We need the name of the bakery. Like, imagine hungry local residents outside your place with torches and pitchforks. You don't just drop something like that and then ... wander off. Kindly share the name of this treasure.
posted by Bella Donna at 11:36 PM on December 9, 2015


BrotherCaine, tell me, where is this baker? I need to help... keep him in business.
posted by mostlymartha at 11:43 PM on December 9, 2015


Good list overall except for the cookie cutters. They are only $2 each and I really do think the handles are a nice idea. Seemed too earnest to belong in this list.
posted by like_neon at 2:07 AM on December 10, 2015


Embayjee, ah you're right! Mea culpa.
posted by Lisitasan at 3:29 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


I realize this is basically the kind of food snobbery Magary is mocking, but if you're going to mock people for something, at least get the details of your mockery correct.

"You have to get the detail correct" is one of the parts of food snobbery that is always being mocked. Like when all the snobs could not shut up about cocoa mass percentage in dark chocolate: that they were talking about candy in endless detail was the hilarious part, not the specific aspects of the candy.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:45 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


*fist bumps Bella Donna and mostlymartha*

Seriously though BrotherCaine, we are hella serious.
posted by pipoquinha at 4:48 AM on December 10, 2015


I had some marshmallows once, about ten years ago. They were square cut and dipped in caramel and wrapped in wax paper. They came in a tin and after I ate them all and later wanted to buy more (they were a gift), I discovered they were not, as I had assumed, from W-S, and I never figured out who made them but I can tell you that they were so better than marshmallows in a bag. So much better that I googled the recipe for homemade marshmallows which looks surprisingly easy and I will make some, one of these days.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 5:08 AM on December 10, 2015


jacquilynne: "I'm amused that he thinks Kouign-Amman are this year's cronuts."
I'm amused that he apparently thinks Breton and Flemish is the same.

And by amused I mean appalled.
posted by brokkr at 5:45 AM on December 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


Well, of course they're having trouble shipping product; they didn't retain the services of Ray Smuckles.

(That story arc has indelibly left an imprint in my forebrain, such that when I hear the name "Williams Sonoma" I immediately connote "banging body parts together until God summons the locusts")
posted by Mayor West at 6:46 AM on December 10, 2015


BrotherCaine - for reals, your fellow Bay Area neighbors need the name of the bakery. This is important.

Sorry, La Noisette Patisserie at the Sunday Martinez Farmer's Market. No relation to the other La Noisette in the bay area.
posted by BrotherCaine at 7:06 AM on December 10, 2015 [3 favorites]


I should clarify that I should not poo-pooh the ability to correctly pronounce something that is simply in a language that I do not speak (THANKS OBAMA).

However, when I regularly go to a coffee shop and try to order a "pain au chocolat" because it is labeled as such, and nobody understands me so I have to say "chocolate croissant, please," I have reason to suspect that nobody will understand each other on either side of the transaction if I order a Kouign-Amann.

This is so beyond the level of first world problems that I can't even think of a name for it. Next thing you know, they'll be out of Grey Poupon.
posted by St. Hubbins at 7:32 AM on December 10, 2015 [4 favorites]


St. Hubbins: ""chocolate croissant, please,""

You mean a kwa-SOH or a krus-AHNT?
posted by Rock Steady at 8:46 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


ANDERSON
posted by poffin boffin at 9:12 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is so beyond the level of first world problems that I can't even think of a name for it

I feel this pain. You see, a few years ago, a real French pastry chef opened up a bakery in my neighbourhood. Like, a 5 minute walk from the house. And so, my wife and I got in the occasional habit of walking up there on a weekend morning to get a croissant or a pain au chocolat for breakfast. And as the kids got older, we naturally started offering them croissants on those mornings as well.

Well, the kids won't eat them. Don't like them. We've tried them plain croissants, pain au chocolat, cheese croissants, other croissant variants. Nope. They'd rather have a bowl of cold cereal.

We feel like failures as parents because our kids don't appreciate these amazing pastries from a real French pastry chef that has a bakery within walking distance. Beyond the level of a first world problem indeed.
posted by nubs at 9:31 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


We feel like failures as parents because our kids don't appreciate these amazing pastries from a real French pastry chef

It's not exactly the same, but my mom always tried to get my sister and I to eat beets and we refused, just flat out wouldn't do it. Now I text mom taunting photos whenever I have anything with beets, which I love and eat often. So, things can change.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 10:45 AM on December 10, 2015


It's really hard to order a chocolate turd in puff pastry to go with your bucket of warm coffee-flavored milk by calling it a "paahhn oh sho-ko-LAH" and not feel like an asshole, so it's better just to say "chocolate cross-aunt" in your best apathetic American accent. There is nothing to be proud of in this transaction.
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:55 AM on December 10, 2015 [7 favorites]


Like they'd be there, alongside all the other delicious foods that French and Breton joints will continue to sell until the end of time.

In my view Bretons have pretty awful desserts most of the time; as dull and inexplicably popular as Breton folk dancing (it's all the same dance! For hours! How can they not see that?). Kouignoù-amann are the honourable exception. My parents live a few miles from Douarnenez, and while I may be unable to understand the utterly bizarre variety of French these people speak (seriously, I've got Breton friends who have commented on its incomprehensibility), I will bow to no-one in my defence of their having produced an actually enjoyable Breton dessert.
posted by howfar at 11:27 AM on December 10, 2015


"paahhn oh sho-ko-LAH"

What's interesting is that this particular hypercorrection of French words, to throw the stress onto the last syllable of the word, rather than the utterance, and to do it very heavily, is a distinctive facet of American English. It's fundamentally problematic though, because there's no way to strictly rule on whether a French word is isolated from the English words in the utterance, or part of the string of English words. There's no way to be "right", but equally, no way to be "unpretentious". Any pronunciation is a choice and a social signal. Which is fine as long as we are tolerant of each other's choices.
posted by howfar at 11:39 AM on December 10, 2015


My son calls them "chocolate pains" and so now we do too.
posted by emjaybee at 1:05 PM on December 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


Hmm, I've been quite happy with kouign amann in Berkeley that come from Starter Bakery, but I suppose now I'll have to try this La Noisette magic.
posted by ktkt at 3:59 PM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'll try starter bakery if I get a chance.
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:33 PM on December 10, 2015


"paahhn oh sho-ko-LAH" and not feel like an asshole,

You could triple down on pretentiousness and call it "pantzin chocolaoh" (and hope I got my suffixes right).
posted by yeolcoatl at 12:49 AM on December 11, 2015


Or triple down and call it, "pwaaaan ho-o-o-o chookohlaaa-aaaa"
There is a point where, if you go far enough out, you can just keep going and no one will think twice. Aim for that point.
posted by From Bklyn at 6:29 AM on December 11, 2015 [1 favorite]


Just in case you are wondering if home made marshmallows are worth the trouble, I just stumbled across this great peppermint marshmallow recipe. Use a candy thermometer.
posted by bearwife at 12:01 PM on December 12, 2015


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