Probably not Disney sponsored

December 15, 2015 2:59 PM

When you're all out of whisky (previously), and you're still looking to boost your hygge (previously) while also preparing for a cinematic event that's currently in progress, may I suggest settling in with a few hours worth of the Darth Vader Yule Log?

tw: burning body, may evoke memories of Hayden Christensen's force ghost.

(previously)

posted by sparklemotion (31 comments total)

Brilliant!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:05 PM on December 15, 2015

I love you so much for posting this. It's so perfect and so wrong and so right.
posted by hippybear at 3:13 PM on December 15, 2015 [2 favorites]

"I got your log RIGHT HERE!" -George Liquor, American.
posted by entropicamericana at 3:14 PM on December 15, 2015 [5 favorites]

I think I might just keep a tab open with this all week and switch to it when I am tempted to surf the web to places that might have Force Awakens spoilers.
posted by sparklemotion at 3:15 PM on December 15, 2015

Is YouTube smart enough so that I don't have to download the loop a thousand times in HD?
posted by ODiV at 3:28 PM on December 15, 2015

Behold the power of this fully operational Yule Log.
posted by eriko at 3:49 PM on December 15, 2015 [16 favorites]

ODiV, some parts of Google work mostly by being clever, and other parts work mostly by having massive amounts of money and computers and bandwidth. This particular thing works by downloading 5.4GB to your computer each time you watch it.
posted by ryanrs at 3:50 PM on December 15, 2015 [5 favorites]

Sith lords roasting on an open fire
Ben's force nipping at your nose...
posted by eriko at 4:08 PM on December 15, 2015 [5 favorites]

I'm burning I'm burning I'm burning for Luke...
posted by eriko at 4:12 PM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]

He's Mister Heatmeister, he's Mr Sun....
posted by eriko at 4:13 PM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]

Sith lords roasting on an open fire
Ben's force nipping at your nose...

Yub Nub carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Threepios...
posted by Atom Eyes at 4:13 PM on December 15, 2015 [10 favorites]

It's not a true yule log stream if there isn't a disembodied hand to jab at it with an iron poker intermittently, and regularly throw another Vader on the fire when it gets low.
posted by ckape at 4:25 PM on December 15, 2015 [3 favorites]

"Luke, I am your ember!!"
posted by argonauta at 4:50 PM on December 15, 2015

Burn baby burn!
It's a Sith Lord inferno!
Burn baby burn!
It's gonna take a while...
posted by eriko at 4:54 PM on December 15, 2015 [2 favorites]

Seems . . . repetitive. A lot. How much would a Darth Vader costume, some old electronics and meat-substitute, and about half a cord of wood cost? I'd donate the wood and space if someone brought the cameras and the Vader to be burnt.
posted by Blackanvil at 4:55 PM on December 15, 2015

Oh, they let the magic smoke out. It never works after you let the magic smoke out!!!!
posted by eriko at 4:59 PM on December 15, 2015

So, I just found instructions for making your own coffee-ground fireplace logs, which can be easily molded. We also just got our large-scale CNC machine up and running. And 3d models are available. This... this is a thing that could happen.
posted by phooky at 5:38 PM on December 15, 2015 [2 favorites]

So, I just found instructions for making your own coffee-ground fireplace logs, which can be easily molded. We also just got our large-scale CNC machine up and running. And 3d models are available.

MochaBot?
posted by hal9k at 5:41 PM on December 15, 2015

I was thinking of milling out the mold, but directly milling an existing javalog might work, too...
posted by phooky at 5:44 PM on December 15, 2015

Seems . . . repetitive. A lot.

Um... well, it's working with limited footage to create the long burn effect, but even the original yule log film was on a loop.
posted by hippybear at 5:48 PM on December 15, 2015

Love the end credits. But they need a voiceover of Kylo Ren saying, "I will finish... what you started."
posted by rory at 6:16 PM on December 15, 2015

I thought he'd be sitting in an armchair by the fire, sipping whiskey and staring into the camera.
posted by miyabo at 7:09 PM on December 15, 2015 [6 favorites]

My favorite part is the occasional loud pop.
posted by jonathanhughes at 8:19 PM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]

That's just a capacitor blowing.
posted by bonehead at 8:59 PM on December 15, 2015 [6 favorites]

This led me to a number of Sad Full House videos, like this.
posted by moink at 9:26 PM on December 15, 2015

As wonderful as this is, if you're after more… traditional comforting fare via the Internet, there's snowyescape.com.
posted by Bora Horza Gobuchul at 10:48 PM on December 15, 2015

I thought he'd be sitting in an armchair by the fire, sipping whiskey and staring into the camera.

Just for you, miyabo.
posted by BungaDunga at 12:38 AM on December 16, 2015 [4 favorites]

snowyescape.com

Wait, what key do I press to get into my inventory?
posted by mittens at 4:17 AM on December 16, 2015 [1 favorite]

Don't forget the soundtrack!
posted by blue_beetle at 5:46 AM on December 16, 2015

Seems . . . repetitive. A lot.

Yeah, Sith Lords just don't burn the way they used to. Nowadays you're lucky if you get a good hour of flame out of one before they're reduced to a puddle of slimy concentrated Evil. Back in MY day, a Sithlog would go for at least five or six hours!
Now get off my lawn.
posted by TDavis at 10:32 AM on December 16, 2015 [1 favorite]

If someone wanted to be really edgy, they should make one with the immolation scene from RotS instead.
posted by entropicamericana at 10:37 AM on December 16, 2015 [1 favorite]