New Zealand is not a small country but a large village...
December 22, 2015 9:09 PM   Subscribe

 
This one is wrong.
posted by pompomtom at 9:13 PM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


(Oh, I now see that a partial NZ is enough to get you on the list. Carry on.)
posted by pompomtom at 9:14 PM on December 22, 2015


Is it weird that these pictures are funnier if Madagascar isn't missing?
posted by potch at 9:18 PM on December 22, 2015 [12 favorites]


I think it's hilarious that so many of them manage to put Tasmania in but leave off NZ. Even really abstract ones. And of course, there's the one that thinks Tasmania IS New Zealand.
posted by Athanassiel at 9:24 PM on December 22, 2015 [8 favorites]


I get the impression that New Zealand and Australia (and New Zealanders and Australians) are exactly as depicted on Flight of the Conchords, and I keep tripping across things (and seeing things posted here) that seem to confirm that impression.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 9:25 PM on December 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


And of course, there's the one that thinks Tasmania IS New Zealand.

Brilliant. Sink NZ, and start recruiting the All Blacks from Tassie...
posted by pompomtom at 9:29 PM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


As a native of Michigan's Keweenaw peninsula -- frequently left off maps of the US that I assume are all sourced from the same bad SVG file that some intern found -- I applaud this. Good to know someone else will be safe when the aliens come and destroy everything on the map.
posted by aaronetc at 9:31 PM on December 22, 2015 [16 favorites]


Man, I can't stop snerking. There are some pretty warped views of geography full stop though.
posted by Athanassiel at 9:44 PM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


My go-to is the Northwest Angle in Minnesota. So often cut off and a clear sign that the map wasn't done by a Minnesotan.
posted by traveler_ at 9:45 PM on December 22, 2015 [5 favorites]


My favorite ones are the ones that really should get it right—like the School of Global and International Studies at Indiana University.
posted by not that girl at 9:52 PM on December 22, 2015 [6 favorites]


It's up here.
posted by Athanassiel at 9:53 PM on December 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


This upsets me no end
posted by piyushnz at 10:05 PM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


New Zealand is on the Internet Cable Map (it had better be, for $150) but due to what I would qualify as a poor design choice it's hard to see (it's enmeshed in the border: see in the higher-res image).
posted by dhens at 10:28 PM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


Well, then there was the map I saw the other day with two Northwest Angles. That was a bit odd.
posted by ckape at 10:29 PM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


As a Prince Edward Islander I identify this with so hard. Usually maps turn Cape Breton into part of the mainland and forget we even exist.
posted by Space Coyote at 10:30 PM on December 22, 2015 [3 favorites]


The one, the only Uncle Floyd used to have a regular skit on his TV show where he griped about maps of the United States on beach balls, toys, etc. that forgot to include the state of New Jersey. (Which is only about 1/12 the size of New Zealand, but has almost twice as many people.)
posted by LeLiLo at 10:33 PM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


I get the impression that New Zealand and Australia (and New Zealanders and Australians) are exactly as depicted on Flight of the Conchords, and I keep tripping across things (and seeing things posted here) that seem to confirm that impression.

I still can't work out if FoTC is satirising New Zealand, or satirising everyone else's stereotypes of us. Probably both.
posted by Pink Frost at 10:33 PM on December 22, 2015 [5 favorites]


Holy crap how have I never realized it's not in Pandemic?? I'm so sorry fellow kiwis. I shall draw it into the game from now on and make Wellington a stop.
posted by numaner at 10:36 PM on December 22, 2015 [9 favorites]


So many of these maps include Svalbard. Fucking Svalbard! Nobody even knows what that place is, and they neglect New Zealand?

little known fact: Svalbard is a real place!
posted by TheNewWazoo at 10:43 PM on December 22, 2015 [7 favorites]


I'd definitely make sure not to anger a place with armoured bears.
posted by Space Coyote at 11:14 PM on December 22, 2015 [14 favorites]


To be fair, they also managed to include Australia on this map, but didn't realize they had any craft brewers either.
posted by mrzarquon at 11:15 PM on December 22, 2015


Amazing. I will make sure to include New Zealand as a reference point if and when I do any work in the South Pacific. Australia can figure itself out.
posted by palindromic at 11:16 PM on December 22, 2015


I get the impression that New Zealand and Australia (and New Zealanders and Australians) are exactly as depicted on Flight of the Conchords, and I keep tripping across things (and seeing things posted here) that seem to confirm that impression.

As a Yank who recently visited both New Zealand and Australia, I can tell you that the people are wonderful in both places. But the flora and fauna in N.Z. is utterly benign (O.K. the sand flies are a bit much, but easily warded off) but as soon as you set foot in OZ, everything is trying to kill you!
posted by TDavis at 11:21 PM on December 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


I think a lot of blame for this can be laid on President Chester A Arthur, who called for the International Meridian Conference - which choose the Greenwich Meridian as the Prime Meridian. This puts New Zealand at 165-178ish degrees east - bound to always be on the edge of every map centered around the Prime Meridian.

Check out this list of different map projection styles - always its own solitary land mass off on the leading edge of the maps, pretty easy to get lost.

I mean, the maps focused on the Antimeridian have no excuse, its right there.
posted by mrzarquon at 11:28 PM on December 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


As an Australian I believe the questions we should be asking is "who really cares?"
posted by Talez at 11:34 PM on December 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


We make up for it by getting to be on many maps twice.
posted by lollusc at 11:39 PM on December 22, 2015 [9 favorites]


Surely this is a lost plot from The Flight of the Conchords, where Murray's ineptitude somehow alienates a large number of cartographers....
posted by schmod at 11:41 PM on December 22, 2015 [6 favorites]


Actually, I'm in favor of MORE maps forgetting that New Zealand is a thing. That way, if the aliens invade and use our maps, I'll be able to hide out in Christchurch.

Except sooner or later, one of them will watch "The Lord of the Rings*, and want t GO there. Oh well..."


*(Hey, don't blame me, I knew New Zealand existed long time ago, due to "The Quiet Earth"...)
posted by happyroach at 11:53 PM on December 22, 2015 [5 favorites]


Great post blue_bottle. Thank you. Just trying to reduce my sense of outrage at being so forgotten :-)
posted by vac2003 at 11:58 PM on December 22, 2015


You all do know that Flight of the Conchords is a documentary, right?
posted by maupuia at 12:22 AM on December 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


I was led to believe that Black Sheep was the definitive documentary of our cousins across the ditch.
posted by pompomtom at 12:58 AM on December 23, 2015


Um no, that's What We Do in the Shadows. That's exactly the sort of crap that goes on in Wellington, ugh.
posted by tracicle at 1:01 AM on December 23, 2015 [14 favorites]


This is such a well-worn trope in sci-fi shows and disaster movies. Look carefully at those big maps of the world that invariably line one wall of the War Room or control centre. There's never a New Zealand on them. This used to make me sad: "what, don't we matter?" But now I just think maybe we don't need saving. Everything is always great, and no global catastrophe or terrorist threat is ever relevant to our shores. All of these shows I now imagine feature an unfilmed scene where the characters agree that, of course, New Zealand's fine, thank God, but now we have to work out how to save the rest of the world.
posted by Sonny Jim at 1:19 AM on December 23, 2015 [16 favorites]


When I was small they used to run adverts in English magazines for "New Cheeseland Zeal". Some small part of me still regrets never being able to visit those zealous folk in their delicious homeland.
posted by Segundus at 1:21 AM on December 23, 2015


Svalbard has polar bears.

Australia has drop bears.

New Zealand, you just need some bears
posted by fallingbadgers at 1:24 AM on December 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


#notallmaps
#cartographyprivilege
posted by jklaiho at 1:25 AM on December 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


One does not simply walk into New Zealand.
posted by bryon at 1:32 AM on December 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


New Zealand, you just need some bears
On it
posted by Sonny Jim at 1:32 AM on December 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


That bear looks like something from Trazan och Bananare.
posted by persona au gratin at 2:37 AM on December 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


All of these shows I now imagine feature an unfilmed scene where the characters agree that, of course, New Zealand's fine, thank God, but now we have to work out how to save the rest of the world.

Cf. John Wyndham's The Chrysalids.
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:09 AM on December 23, 2015 [8 favorites]


That's fairly interesting!
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:35 AM on December 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


You know the best thing about being Australian?

We can migrate to New Zealand.
posted by Thella at 3:47 AM on December 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


the School of Global and International Studies at Indiana University.

That also appears to be missing the UK and Ireland.
posted by carter at 4:11 AM on December 23, 2015 [8 favorites]


All of these shows I now imagine feature an unfilmed scene where the characters agree that, of course, New Zealand's fine, thank God, but now we have to work out how to save the rest of the world.


Little-known fact about New Zealand: it's got a cloaking device in case of alien invasion.
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:47 AM on December 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


Isn't the more plausible explanation the one where New Zealand is the result of mass hallucination, to purposes unknown, and the website linked in the FPP chronicles the cartographically correct maps?
posted by indubitable at 4:48 AM on December 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


As a native of Michigan's Keweenaw peninsula -- frequently left off maps of the US that I assume are all sourced from the same bad SVG file that some intern found -- I applaud this. Good to know someone else will be safe when the aliens come and destroy everything on the map.

Yeah, you guys are always off on a different part of the map, in the, "oh yeah, these guys over there, the copper miners and the iron ore people."

/child of a lady from a dried up mining town
posted by NoMich at 4:59 AM on December 23, 2015


I get the impression that New Zealand and Australia (and New Zealanders and Australians) are exactly as depicted on Flight of the Conchords, and I keep tripping across things (and seeing things posted here) that seem to confirm that impression.

Well, Australia beating New Zealand in the 2015 Cricket World Cup certainly didn't help things.
posted by NoMich at 5:02 AM on December 23, 2015


Speaking of maps, I know someone who was in college before he understood that Alaska and Hawaii are not just off the coast of California.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 5:21 AM on December 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


I think a lot of blame for this can be laid on President Chester A Arthur,
Well I mean really you could just go around dropping that line into pretty much any thread.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:22 AM on December 23, 2015 [11 favorites]


This is one of those things I'll never be able to unthink. Every map I see I will be checking to see if NZ is there or not. I'll occasionally make references to it at a party about how maps consistently forget NZ and and people will ask "Oh are you from NZ?" I will of course say no, and they will then ask me why I care.

I won't have an answer.
posted by mayonnaises at 5:25 AM on December 23, 2015 [9 favorites]


This thread is making me uncomfortable.

And not just because I just finished watching Deathgasm, but for all the tired jokes.
posted by Mezentian at 5:34 AM on December 23, 2015


Speaking of maps, I know someone who was in college before he understood that Alaska and Hawaii are not just off the coast of California.

The Canadian equivalent is that sometimes people seem unaware that Ontario has a a relatively compact south (packed with population centres and highways and such) and a massive north (rocks and trees, trees and rocks: if you driven 17, you've seen lots). The scheme endorsed by many map publishers is to put the two sections on opposite sides of the same page, at hugely different scales. I work with a guy with post-graduate degrees whom I assigned some work in Thunder Bay; he glanced at a map and reckoned he would drive up from Montreal, estimating the trip at maybe four hours each way. After two long days behind the wheel, he got to the T. Bay. Chicago to Austin is a shorter drive, as is Paris to Warsaw.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:49 AM on December 23, 2015 [9 favorites]


Talez said, ",As an Australian I believe the questions we should be asking is "who really cares?"'

Is that joke funny in Australia, Talez?

If so, something may have been lost in the cultural exchange. As quipped it seems you've somehow misrepresented yourself as an ass.
posted by Construction Concern at 5:56 AM on December 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


One time when visiting Montreal, I made the mistake of asking a group of New Zealand tourists if they were from Australia. Fortunately, most of them were pretty old, so I was able to outrun them before they could catch and devour me.
posted by briank at 6:03 AM on December 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


As enjoyable as Flight of the Conchords is, it would be a better world if most Americans' go-to reference for New Zealand was the Topp Twins.
posted by maxsparber at 6:26 AM on December 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


> And of course, there's the one that thinks Tasmania IS New Zealand.

Mind you, that map also has "Artic" and "Europian," so it has problems well beyond NZ.
posted by languagehat at 7:11 AM on December 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


I know someone who was in college before he understood that Alaska and Hawaii are not just off the coast of California

It was only during a study session that my college roommate realized that, as he put it, "England is an island!?" His mind was so blown by that and the look on his face so amazed that I didn't have enough pedantry in my heart to tell him that technically, Britain is the island.
posted by Panjandrum at 7:17 AM on December 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


This might be what Kim Dotcom was counting on.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:45 AM on December 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


I'll admit I had no clue where New Zealand was before 10 seconds ago.

what

how
posted by Sys Rq at 8:15 AM on December 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


New Zealand, you just need some bears

I dunno, I just went to the GayNZ homepage and found some pretty easily.
posted by psoas at 8:21 AM on December 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


I know someone who was in college before he understood that Alaska and Hawaii are not just off the coast of California

I was at a conference with some British grad students who were shocked--shocked!--when I politely demurred their inquiry about my upcoming trip to California: they assumed I could just "sail out to Hawaii for the day" and I gently pointed out the five-hour flight.
posted by psoas at 8:24 AM on December 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


...I didn't have enough pedantry in my heart to tell him that technically, Britain is the island.

A true pedant (like a true Scotsman) knows the island is Great Britain!
posted by TedW at 8:53 AM on December 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


A true pedant knows that Great Britain includes Isle of Wight, Anglesey, the Isles of Scilly, the Hebrides and the island groups of Orkney and Shetland, which are different islands, even if they are politically part of England, Wales, or Scotland.
posted by maxsparber at 9:10 AM on December 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


My wife often just calls me Piyush and I have to remind her not to leave out the nz. She's a kiwi as well so you'd think she would know better...
posted by piyushnz at 9:30 AM on December 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


A true pedant knows that Great Britain includes Isle of Wight, Anglesey, the Isles of Scilly, the Hebrides and the island groups of Orkney and Shetland, which are different islands, even if they are politically part of England, Wales, or Scotland.

That's the Kingdom of Great Britain, which hasn't existed for 215 years.

Quoth Wikipedia: "Great Britain, also known as Britain, is an island in the North Atlantic off the north-west coast of continental Europe."
posted by Sys Rq at 10:28 AM on December 23, 2015


Camping in the high Sierras, I used to carry a small radio that picked up six or seven short-wave bands. I got bounce from here and there, but no local (or even American) broadcasts. Impossibly deep night sky, stars bright enough to read by, utter quiet. I could get two channels with regularity. One was latin chants--I'm not Catholic, and this was way too scary to be listening to in the middle of the night at a solitary camp. The other was some program from New Zealand. The bounce never lasted long enough for me to get any continuity, but it seems to me the predominate topic was the water level: there was plenty.

I have tried to get my wife to let us move there, but she won't take me seriously. I can't see how youse guys may benefit by having people know where you are.
posted by mule98J at 10:29 AM on December 23, 2015


Somebody needs to do this for Nova Scotia and/or Prince Edward Island. We're forever being left off maps (or perhaps simply relocated to the mainland).
posted by joannemerriam at 10:35 AM on December 23, 2015


That's the Kingdom of Great Britain, which hasn't existed for 215 years.

The political definition of Great Britain still includes the islands, as they are administered as part of England, Scotland and Wales.
posted by maxsparber at 10:41 AM on December 23, 2015


All I'm saying as, as per my theory, web pedantry is always a risky proposition, as it is either wrong, incomplete, or can be topped by additional pedantry.
posted by maxsparber at 10:43 AM on December 23, 2015


Sounds like the McGillicuddy are one step closer to protecting us from the outside world.
posted by fido~depravo at 12:32 PM on December 23, 2015


I love that any time New Zealand comes up on Mefi, ALL the kiwis come out of the woodwork. It's like the call of the wild or something. Fire up the (cricket) bat signal!
posted by tracicle at 1:28 PM on December 23, 2015


> Well, Australia beating New Zealand in the 2015 Cricket World Cup certainly didn't help things.

It did get evened out with the All Blacks trouncing the Wallabies for the Rugby World Cup a couple months later.

(Also where were all you Kiwi's when I was visiting in 2014? Or like most I know, you don't actually live in New Zealand because you want decent internet access?).
posted by mrzarquon at 1:32 PM on December 23, 2015


(Also where were all you Kiwi's when I was visiting in 2014? Or like most I know, you don't actually live in New Zealand because you want decent internet access?).

I was here! (Wellington). Did you post a meetup? I would think I would have seen it....
posted by Pink Frost at 2:10 PM on December 23, 2015


I love that any time New Zealand comes up on Mefi, ALL the kiwis come out of the woodwork. It's like the call of the wild or something. Fire up the (cricket) bat signal!

If kiwis hear another kiwi in their territory, the males will run at it. Dept of Conservation workers will imitate male bird calls until the local males headbutt their shins.
posted by Sparx at 3:46 PM on December 23, 2015


True story: when I was a kid in the early 1980's my dad was almost transferred to a job in New Zealand but it didn't happen

True story: when I was a kid in the early 1980's my dad was transferred to a job in New Zealand and it did happen
posted by L.P. Hatecraft at 5:36 PM on December 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


If kiwis hear another kiwi in their territory, the males will run at it.

Honking in Mandarin, no doubt.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:30 PM on December 23, 2015


Is that joke funny in Australia, Talez?

If so, something may have been lost in the cultural exchange. As quipped it seems you've somehow misrepresented yourself as an ass.


Lol either chill or invest in some better burns imo
posted by Sebmojo at 8:55 PM on December 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


From a country with 5 million people, to another country with 4.4 million people: welcome to the club! Singapore gets no love in any of these maps either. :( How hard is it to mark a small red dot at the bottom of the Malay peninsula?
posted by the cydonian at 10:01 PM on December 23, 2015


The thing is, New Zealand isn't actually that small. Yeah we don't have so many people, but we're a middle sized country by landmass (no. 77), about the same size as Britain. But we're off to the side and a long way from other stuff so apparently easily overlooked, despite not being some small speck in the ocean.
posted by shelleycat at 2:27 AM on December 24, 2015


Svalbard is a real place!

It must be, because I received a postcard from there once.

(Also, this thread is reminding me of an ongoing joke from alt.religion.kibology which revolved around the curious fact that there are people out there in Internetland who may not distinguish between Austria and Australia. Those who do will be summarily trampled in the ensuing brouhaha.)
posted by sneebler at 11:27 AM on December 24, 2015


True story: when I was a kid in the early 1980's my dad was almost transferred to a job in New Zealand but it didn't happen

True story: when I was a kid in the early 1980's my dad was transferred to a job in New Zealand and it did happen


True story: when I was a kid in the early 1980s my dad didn't get transferred anywhere and so we had to keep living in New Zealand.
posted by lollusc at 4:51 AM on December 25, 2015 [3 favorites]


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