The Myth of High Suicide Rates During the Holidays
December 25, 2015 9:15 AM   Subscribe

 
Boy, I'm suddenly flashing back to that usenet group, alt.suicide.holiday.
posted by mittens at 9:27 AM on December 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


For what its worth, my own personal struggle with mental health. My lowest points were both at the end of January and early February. February has not been a good month for me if I use the last two years as a model. I'm hoping this one coming up is better.
posted by Fizz at 9:30 AM on December 25, 2015 [6 favorites]


I actually was just googling "holiday suicide rates" because of how inordinately depressed (even for me, a long-time sufferer of depression) I've been this month, and was genuinely surprised to find out that high suicide rates in the winter are a myth. I have especially been dreading New Years and even just thinking about it makes me cry. Combine that with the long dark days and it seems like a perfect recipe for misery. Apparently not for most people.
posted by a strong female character at 9:36 AM on December 25, 2015 [6 favorites]


However, their work, concluded in 1985, did affirm other studies showing that suicides are most numerous early in the week and least common on weekends.

How I spent my July 21, 2008 - my crazy neighbor had just gone crazy, shot and killed a fireman, shot two police officers and killed himself while his house burned down around him. The police didn't want us to stay in our home that night because of fears of a hidden bomb in what was left of the house, or that he might have some sort of old civil defense shelter under the back yard and be waiting to come out late at night, but they did at least let me get my wallet, some clothes and what not. I get my stuff, get in the car, turn on the MP3 player and the Boomtown Rats' "I Don't Like Mondays" comes on. Carl Jung apparently has a wicked sense of humor.

I bring this up because about a month later I'm all like, "OK, for reals, how often do people rampage on Monday? Is that a thing?" Just looking at mass shootings you've probably heard of from back in the day, yeah, it's not always Monday, but Monday gets more than it's 14%.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:36 AM on December 25, 2015 [7 favorites]


Combine that with the long dark days and it seems like a perfect recipe for misery.

For me its a combination of many things.

1. Grey weather, snow-storms, shorter days, nots as much day-light, etc.
2. I work fewer hours, at home with more free time to let those dark thoughts work that evil inside my brain.
3. Not as much motivation to go outside, to go for my runs, to socialize.
4. I also do not see people as much. People are often working more, less social, because money is tight after the holidays or for some of the reasons I've listed above.

I am on medication and I do have a therapist. There are some good days and there are bad ones. I'm hopeful that this February is not as brutal as the last two. I had reached some dark low places where I contemplated killing myself.
posted by Fizz at 10:14 AM on December 25, 2015 [4 favorites]


Don't know if this is the right place for this, but given that people are commenting about their current struggles, this might be a helpful place to explore.
posted by CMcG at 10:27 AM on December 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


The author backpedals from "this myth is terrible and dangerous" to "this myth does nothing but confuse".

Why is the media allowed to do that?
posted by polymodus at 11:27 AM on December 25, 2015


I have spent almost all of December under a blanket on a couch. To be blunt, fuck the statistics. This sucks. Hard.
posted by disclaimer at 11:56 AM on December 25, 2015 [15 favorites]


I might be the complete opposite of many other depressed people as I greatly prefer the darkness and cold weather, which make me much less anxious and much more comfortable than sunshine and even moderate heat. I may have to take vitamin D supplements but at least I'll probably never have to worry about UV-induced skin cancer. A big breakthrough for me in the past couple of years has been realizing that it actually makes perfect sense and is workable for me to go out for walks in the middle of the night, so I actually leave my house now much more than I used to.
posted by Sockpuppet Liberation Front at 11:58 AM on December 25, 2015 [7 favorites]


My mood this season, on the whole, has been much less distraught and despairing than at this same time in other years. I attribute this to the fact that, in terms of advertising, display space, and general cultural ubiquity, Star Wars has largely displaced Christmas, and this pleases me.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:05 PM on December 25, 2015 [8 favorites]


My sister, who had severe mental illness, had regular crises during the time between Thanksgiving and New Year's. For twenty years, the holidays were a time to stay near a phone with a list of resources so we could get her somewhere safe when we got the call. I think we all expected her to die during the holidays, but when she finally succeeded in killing herself, it was July. It felt unfair somehow, like I'd been hit while my guard was down.

Still, my parents and I have anniversary reactions to the holidays -- anxiety, depression, nightmares, flashbacks -- and we no longer observe Thanksgiving or Chanukah because it makes us too sad. The world could fast-forward from mid-November to New Year's Day and I'd be fine with it.
posted by swerve at 12:37 PM on December 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


Mmm, they may be the months with the fewest suicides, but I bet you that they're the months that make suicidal ideation skyrocket.
posted by Hermione Granger at 12:43 PM on December 25, 2015 [4 favorites]


Darkness is my friend. November, December and January mark (several) anniversaries of things I thought best left forgotten. For example, D-500 in D-Zone during Hump, and whoever those little fuckers were in the Lha Nga River Valley. It was a mixed bag, so the feedback loop was irresistible, terrible, compelling. When I lived alone drugs and my guitar put me on a fairly-well edited track, suspended, but like a rollercoaster in a teacup. I did work my way through the mechanics of suicide, but eventually, when I had done the labor of thinking it through, I realized that suicide wasn't for me. That wasn't quite the relief you might think it ought to be. At some point I came to understand that it was my job to remember these things. It's the least I can do.

Now, after plowing through those days innumerable times and extracting whatever anecdotes I could, I don't get on that particular treadmill much any more. Not all my brothers in arms made that trip, and some of them still go there at night. We are becoming fewer and fewer, so it's less of a surprise when one of us doesn't come back.

I like walking at night--well, not so much anymore, because these old joints creak and whine when I overdo it. But the night was always good to me. The sky has treasures, like a notebook of time and space. I loved to lie on my back at night at sub-alpine camps and let its depth seep into my awareness, knowing of course that my puny apprehensions barely get the gist of the cosmic messages coming at me, literally, at the speed of light. Orion is my favorite constellation. I use it to get me from winter to spring.

Back in days when it was important, my skill was moving from one place to another enveloped in the sort of darkness you find under a triple-canopy forest. I could do this quietly, using the feeble glow of my compass to keep my azimuth, counting steps to estimate my range; do you know that you can open your mouth wide at night, and feel the trees around you? You can smell with your mouth, too, and distinguish between us and them. Their food, tobacco, sweat; all different. Once my team leader sent me back a kilometer on our track to find the platoon of infantry that we'd left waiting while we scouted ahead--so dark; I couldn't see my hand at the end of my arm. I could smell them for a hundred meters. When I got close enough I made myself flat and called softly to the guys on the perimeter: Don't shoot me, asshole, I'm an American. Someone laughed. I took them back to where the rest of my team waited, and we continued on.

Things still bite me on the ass in the night nowadays, but not because of the darkness. I still enjoy moving in the dark. If I can't see them, they can't see me. Nah. I ain't like that anymore, but I still...

I almost forgot: Merry Christmas.
posted by mule98J at 12:47 PM on December 25, 2015 [35 favorites]


I have spent almost all of December under a blanket on a couch. To be blunt, fuck the statistics. This sucks. Hard.

Right, but that's just the thing: Depression is, more than anything else, demotivating and inhibitive. When you can't be bothered to do anything, well, good news: Suicide is one of the things you aren't doing.

That's why unipolar (or monopolar or major or whatever they're calling it these days) is far less fatal than bipolar -- it's the impulsivity that kills.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:48 PM on December 25, 2015 [13 favorites]


Anyone who wants to chat and/or commiserate my email is in my profile. Out of my apt for next hour. After that I'm home and will be online. Let's take care out there.
posted by pipoquinha at 12:51 PM on December 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Boy, I'm suddenly flashing back to that usenet group, alt.suicide.holiday.

Still around and thriving

"Welcome, sorry you're here"...
posted by todayandtomorrow at 12:51 PM on December 25, 2015


Holidays and suicide always make me think of the line from the Dar Williams song "After All": It felt like a winter machine that you go through and then you catch your breath and winter starts again and everyone else is spring bound My god, that described my own experiences perfectly. I would watch everyone else outside enjoying the weather and each other and it made me feel that much ore isolated and detached and broken. And yes to the activation; when I started to come out of the depression I knew it would come back. I figured if I already had a death sentence I may as well avoid living through that shit x-many years more.

The day after Christmas when I was 9 or 10 my dad, sister and I returned home from running some errands just in time to see my mom getting wheeled out on a stretcher. She had taken a bottle of Klonopin and tied a plastic bag over her head. She had made half-hearted attempts before - always around Christmas - but this was the real deal. I'm going to be honest: while we sat at home waiting for my dad to call from the hospital there was a good chunk of time where I was hoping she finally got it right. Nope, just some brain damage followed by 10 years of ECT.

Still, that means nearly two dozen stories are floating around that, at best, mislead the public about the true nature of suicide, and at worst, prompt people to imitate a suicide trend that doesn’t exist...Some “people might be isolated or lonely, but that's no reason to tell them that other people in their situation are killing themselves.”

Shit from a horse. People who kill themselves because they mistakenly believe 'tis the season are people who have already decided to kill themselves and feel compelled to rationalize the decision. People don't commit suicide because it's en vogue.
posted by good lorneing at 12:53 PM on December 25, 2015 [7 favorites]


I struggle with my own issues of depression (generally well under control) but it is this time of the year that makes me thankful I was born Jewish where the most depressing thing about Christmas for me is it's a day off and absolutely everything is closed. I can't recall of any Jewish holidays where we regularly invite relatives outside of the immediate family over - and if you were ever born into a Jewish family then you would know that this is a very good thing.
posted by AGameOfMoans at 1:35 PM on December 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


My sister, who had severe mental illness, had regular crises during the time between Thanksgiving and New Year's. For twenty years, the holidays were a time to stay near a phone with a list of resources so we could get her somewhere safe when we got the call. I think we all expected her to die during the holidays, but when she finally succeeded in killing herself, it was July. It felt unfair somehow, like I'd been hit while my guard was down.

Still, my parents and I have anniversary reactions to the holidays -- anxiety, depression, nightmares, flashbacks -- and we no longer observe Thanksgiving or Chanukah because it makes us too sad. The world could fast-forward from mid-November to New Year's Day and I'd be fine with it.


I'm sorry to hear this, it sounds pretty heartbreaking all around.
posted by threeants at 2:03 PM on December 25, 2015 [4 favorites]


The day after Christmas when I was 9 or 10 my dad, sister and I returned home from running some errands just in time to see my mom getting wheeled out on a stretcher. She had taken a bottle of Klonopin and tied a plastic bag over her head. She had made half-hearted attempts before - always around Christmas - but this was the real deal. I'm going to be honest: while we sat at home waiting for my dad to call from the hospital there was a good chunk of time where I was hoping she finally got it right. Nope, just some brain damage followed by 10 years of ECT.

This too. Hugs to all.
posted by threeants at 2:06 PM on December 25, 2015 [5 favorites]


a few years ago, I used to love this time of year because my job (video game salesman) meant a lot of movement, people with money to spend, regulars coming to discuss what we'd buy that night on Steam, etc. It was incredibly fatiguing but... I don't know, I felt happy for helping people.

Strange how I kind of miss the rush of going to the subway knowing I could be shanked by someone waiting to get the store keys and loot the place (apparently that almost happened once, and I lucked out by going out the front door because I had to settle something with Vodafone). These days I just want the year to end before I do anything stupid.
posted by lmfsilva at 4:00 PM on December 25, 2015


The most high times for suicide is early spring and into summer.Slate Article

It is theorized that people are more likely to commit when things are getting better due to having more energy for action. This also explains why suicide risk jumps when someone starts antidepressents. The energy comes back to take action before people can change their thought patterns and finding ways to want to live.
posted by AlexiaSky at 4:58 PM on December 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


Please get better everyone, I hope you all make it through this season. I've been trying to lose myself in videogames and TV of the season and to let my friends cheer me up because I don't wanna think about the alternative anymore. I find myself signing cheesy Christmas songs out loud when I'm by myself to drown out that voice in the back of my mind.

But yes, fuck the statistics.
posted by numaner at 4:58 PM on December 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm really hoping this isn't inspiring anyone to be like "Oh yeah?! I'll show them..." Please, no one feel compelled to disprove this.

That aside, November has been my worst month for some time (it's the month someone once close to me tried to commit suicide, among other things, so I'm always going to associate it with that), and December is almost always bittersweet at best. Christmas is usually disappointing, even though it's not really a holiday I celebrate. I'm not suicidal, but I am feeling kind of morose right now.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ This pin expresses my feelings well right now: Mixed Emotions Club
posted by limeonaire at 8:07 PM on December 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Thank you for all the stories, especially mule98J and good lorneing. This is my least favorite time of year. My dad and my grandfather died 3 months apart 20 years ago and the last few years have been especially lonely. I haven't been particularly suicidal in a year or two but I know the feeling and how easy it is to slip back down there. I'm with family now, but we're preparing to have an emotional family meeting - in a non-emotional family - of how we, many of whom are scattered across the US, can help care for our 97-year old mother/grandmother. I also know I'm spending New Year's alone.

But I think it's true: there's just enough distraction this time of year that there's a bit of anticipation that things will get better. Even a tiny reminder of spring and summer so we have an inkling that better days will come. Or just really good holiday food.

Thanks again to everyone sharing stories (also check out the Christmas alone thread on Metatalk). Please stay brave and strong - I like to think the daylight will come back. No matter who you are, you aren't the only one.

I can't decide between an emotional ending or a joke so I'll just say that this message is brought to you by my loud, assertive, judgy, argumentative family who mostly hate each other, and the better part of a bottle of prosecco. Plus some beer.
posted by bendy at 9:28 PM on December 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


Something I wrote a few weeks ago, in a thread about Irish playwright Michael Harding reflecting on his seasonal depression; excerpted here:
We're coming on to the longest night of the year, the shortest day. I don't know but I'd bet if I had to that people went to bed and slept when the day was done, prior to electricity being as common as it is. Yeah, we're of high intellect, our art and our technology and our spirit soar considerably higher than that of, say, a mole, or an aardvark. But regardless our topping out over dung beetles, we're still animals, and deeply affected by our relation to our local star, deeply affected by our planets relation to our local star. "To every thing / there is a season" Etc and etc.

So there's that.

~~~~~

For years I just assumed that it was so painful because of the holidaze, and my life not looking like a hallmark card. Every year, from before Thanksgiving day and until after Valentines day, it was a brutal slog for me. Even if/when I've been coupled with someone it's never been much fun, but I've been alone most of my life, for any number of reasons, and you never, ever see people alone this time of year on hallmark cards.

It's by far the most dangerous time of year for me -- that fine, thin, beautiful, golden light of Autumn, that's a red flag that I've learned that I'd best heed. It's always when I've hurt the worst, I'm looking around, and everything is dying off and, hey, that looks like a good plan.

And I'm not just depressed (*just* depressed, as though that's not a horror show; read Styron's memoir "Darkness Visible" some day if you're up for a few chuckles) I've got this manic depression thing going. It's commonly referred to as bipolar disorder nowadays but that's really a misnomer, people can and easily do tend to see the illness as having two poles and think that the person suffering it is either up or they're down. That's just inaccurate. Manic depression is a spectrum disorder IE there is a spectrum of variables, it's not just up/down or somewheres in between.

Here's Kay Redfield Jamison, who literally co-wrote the text book on manic depression, and has written a number of other books on the topic also:
“The clinical reality of manic-depressive illness is far more lethal and infinitely more complex than the current psychiatric nomenclature, bipolar disorder, would suggest. Cycles of fluctuating moods and energy levels serve as a background to constantly changing thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. The illness encompasses the extremes of human experience. Thinking can range from florid psychosis, or “madness,” to patterns of unusually clear, fast and creative associations, to retardation so profound that no meaningful mental activity can occur. Behavior can be frenzied, expansive, bizarre, and seductive, or it can be seclusive, sluggish, and dangerously suicidal. Moods may swing erratically between euphoria and despair or irritability and desperation. The rapid oscillations and combinations of such extremes result in an intricately textured clinical picture.”
Kay Jamison, Ph.D.


~~~~~

So anyways. It's time to surround ourselves with friends, understanding friends. And warm blankets. Warm socks. Warm sweaters. Hot tea. Good books. Myself, I keep a candle or two going, those totally wacky and very cool Mexican Catholic candles with their bizarre religious super-heroes printed on cheap paper, the flame flickering -- my hearth. And religion; though I've found most of them to be comical, I have absolutely found peace, comfort, and understanding in The Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Plus, since *finally* reaching medicinal armistice with this son-of-a-bitching manic depression, I am absolutely, 100 percent religious w/r/t taking my psych meds. They are my sacrament.

~~~~~

Last. I've gone on here about the heaviness of the season, but my favorite day of the year is December 21st. The Winter Solstice. The longest night. The shortest day. I don't care about new years or Christmas, you can have them; my holiday is the Winter Solstice, which actually *is* the new year kicking off. It's my day of reflection. I spend it gently, maybe some writing, maybe not, some time with family and friends, some time alone. It's a good day.

~~~~~

So I wrote the above a few weeks ago, reading what I've read in this thread has stirred me a bit more, a few more words about the fun I've found in the holiday season.

Always it's been the worst time for me. Or maybe not always but damn sure since this whole manic depression thing kicked off, maybe early teens, maybe before my early teen years but right in there. Since finally reaching medicinal armistice with this son of a bitching illness late 2003, it has been much, much less painful. It's still dangerous but to a lesser extent; I thank god for that but you'd best believe that I also thank the living shit out of the brilliant pharmacologists who have formulated these life-changing psych drugs.

Were I designing a religion these people would be canonized. (Cardiologists also, but that's another story.)

It was like that for three months out of every year I had to walk through a line of heavyweight sluggers intent on beating the dogshit out of me. I sure looked forward to it!

A Thanksgiving day without tears, that was a very good Thanksgiving day indeed. A Christmas without tears the same. A new years without tears the same. The soundtrack of my life a dark, bleak, dismal dirge, heavy on the organ, composed by a mad sadist; it played on and on and on. You think you hate hearing this horses ass Christmas music going non-stop for a month, with baby Jesus and Mary and a stable and the wise men and pa rum pa pum pum and santa and reindeer and snowflakes and chestnuts roasting and all the rest of it? Pah! It's a cakewalk, it's like kisses from a pretty girl compared to what I was listening to, and still hear echos of, playing mostly in the background nowadays....

I don't give a rats ass about the stats. It's a real thing. Something beats on you hard and does it for years, you're not going to forget about it, and I damn sure haven't......
posted by dancestoblue at 10:38 PM on December 25, 2015 [6 favorites]


Damn.
posted by bendy at 10:53 PM on December 25, 2015


I bought this green LED light visor this year. I'm also bipolar and this has always been the roughest time of year. Bad years start around Labor Day and go into March, but on medication (Lamictal) the main slog is November - February and it's less existential than summer hypo/mania in many ways, and more energy-involved than mood-morose (which itself is a headgame to maintain).

First year of my adult life where I'm working out, exercising consistently (I recommend weights, barbells, lots of leg stuff, intensity!), trying to eat mostly right but with all sorts of "cheating" or "re-feeding" to keep my muscles happy and growing, moving through the winter season vs. failing a false-start health kick initiated with aforementioned summer mania shortly after, in autumn. Lost 50 lbs in summer / fall and hoping to keep it off and keep moving a little more. In the best shape in 15 years, still constantly juggling with mindset / mindfulness. Highly curious about delving more into DBT and mindfulness stuff, but more engaged in the fitness / physical realm right now -- everything good for the body is good for the mind. Highly recommend starting sluggish days with vaso-dilating substances like beet juice, beta-alanine, citrulline malate, basically the sorts of things found in "pre-workout supplements." Trying to walk literally every single day around a lake nearby, which keeps the dog happy too.
posted by aydeejones at 11:17 PM on December 25, 2015 [3 favorites]


Also I have ADHD and I think contrast showers are good for all sorts of physical reasons, and involve releases of dopamine (I supplement with L-tyrosine to make more BTW). For me a contrast shower in winter time involves a couple minutes of hot (as much as I can stand) water in which I completely wash and shampoo, followed by 30 seconds of relatively cold water (as cold as I can tolerate), 30 seconds of hot, 30 more seconds of cold. In autumn / spring / summer I can stand longer periods but in winter I don't take it all the way down because the water is cold as fuck. I haven't taken a "normal" shower since August and highly recommend these.
posted by aydeejones at 11:20 PM on December 25, 2015


Also the LED light visor totally helps with energy levels, but you have to put it on first thing in the morning for 15-30 minutes and have good sleep hygiene, which it helps with but it's still up to you to behave at nighttime and avoid too much blue light after nightfall, get consistent sleep, etc. I don't use it consistently, but it definitely helps me get started on the right foot when I manage to use it properly and there was a good long stretch where it was super helpful this year and I even had it overnighted because I was so desperate for a "bump" of motivation having little reason to be stressed out but this big physical impending sense of lazy-doom. It's a little goofy and cheaply-made for the price, but has a decent warranty and good reviews. A much higher end ~$300 version of the product exists elsewhere.
posted by aydeejones at 11:27 PM on December 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


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