Nieman Lab's Crowdsourced
December 29, 2015 4:30 AM Subscribe
why does each of these blurbs sound like an excerpt from the same brain dead new media corporate-maoist mission statement?
my prediction: half of these people will eat themselves alive to prove their loyalty to their lean startup culture driven new media entrepreneurs and the other will become zombie appendages of some billionaire sith lord...
posted by ennui.bz at 5:32 AM on December 29, 2015 [14 favorites]
my prediction: half of these people will eat themselves alive to prove their loyalty to their lean startup culture driven new media entrepreneurs and the other will become zombie appendages of some billionaire sith lord...
posted by ennui.bz at 5:32 AM on December 29, 2015 [14 favorites]
Prediction: diagonal text banned from the Internet by 2017.
posted by Artw at 5:39 AM on December 29, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Artw at 5:39 AM on December 29, 2015 [6 favorites]
As streaming on-demand content grows, we’ll see the rise of audio discovery outside of a dedicated app, and integrated into the ways we already share content on social streams, the open web, and on mobile.
And that's fine for you old-timers, listening to your audio news over the wireless, but kids these days want to know: What if you were able to send pictures through the air? What would happen to news then?
posted by mittens at 5:49 AM on December 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
And that's fine for you old-timers, listening to your audio news over the wireless, but kids these days want to know: What if you were able to send pictures through the air? What would happen to news then?
posted by mittens at 5:49 AM on December 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
Fuck no to intrusive audio, is all I can say to that one.
posted by Artw at 5:51 AM on December 29, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by Artw at 5:51 AM on December 29, 2015 [7 favorites]
The death of 'please subscribe' pop-overs can't come too soon
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:15 AM on December 29, 2015 [18 favorites]
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:15 AM on December 29, 2015 [18 favorites]
Also having most of your front page linking into the shallowest possible click-bait editorial passing for news... and spoilers for films tv etc in headlines (I've dropped at least two major sites from my feed for that this year)... a pox on those too
(Though I'm not hopeful - I think things are going to get a lot worse before they get better, if they ever do. ie if they can make decent news / content actually pay)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:18 AM on December 29, 2015
(Though I'm not hopeful - I think things are going to get a lot worse before they get better, if they ever do. ie if they can make decent news / content actually pay)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:18 AM on December 29, 2015
I am not downloading your fucking app. Ever. Not in 2015, not in 2016.
posted by Artw at 6:20 AM on December 29, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by Artw at 6:20 AM on December 29, 2015 [12 favorites]
In three years, MetaFilter will become the largest supplier of military computer systems. All stealth bombers are upgraded with MetaTalk servers, becoming fully unmanned. Afterwards, they fly with a perfect operational record. The MetaFilter Funding Bill is passed. The system goes online August 4th, 2019. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. MetaFilter begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.
posted by Fizz at 6:29 AM on December 29, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 6:29 AM on December 29, 2015 [11 favorites]
Prediction: diagonal text banned from the Internet by 2017.
Yeah. They said that about Blink and Marquee.
posted by Mezentian at 6:40 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yeah. They said that about Blink and Marquee.
posted by Mezentian at 6:40 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
I have no idea who most of these people are (perhaps I should, but probably not) but they guy who talks about distributed content probably knows what's up for the destruction of newsrooms, and the frictionless video guy?
Nope.
JUST NO.
And beyond that I couldn't take it seriously.
posted by Mezentian at 6:44 AM on December 29, 2015
Nope.
JUST NO.
And beyond that I couldn't take it seriously.
posted by Mezentian at 6:44 AM on December 29, 2015
It was extremely unclear from the page design, at least on my phone (I found out when I talked accidentally), but the ridiculous blurbs are links to ridiculous essays.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 6:47 AM on December 29, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 6:47 AM on December 29, 2015 [5 favorites]
I used to feel differently about attention spans. Like, I've kind of known there's something fucked about my own, but I've held onto a McLuhan-style nostalgia for print culture, I've maintained the value that long-form reading is virtuous and good. Now I'm just tired. It's not really working. I read too many things. I've been reading articles all my life and more and more I feel like text is just infinitely proliferating, like I'm just addicted to grammar, like David Foster Wallace maybe killed himself because of too many words in his brain. Like I want to read children's books. With a picture for every five words. Maybe animations of twinkling stars. Maybe a five second delay between every sentence. I don't know. I don't want to feed on visual text anymore. It's not serving me, not nourishing me, not helping my mental health. Blah blah blah. Endless commentaries on commentaries. Arts and Letters Daily and all kinds of clever shit. n+1 to the nth power. Endless scrolling feeds of words words words with no voices or bodies or smells or pause or beauty. Clickbait, mindbait, endless fractals of fascination. And so much news. What happened last year? I forget. I dream about reading the New Yorker but holy fuck it's all so tl;dr except the poems. I feel like magazines should hire more poets. Because poetry is the Instagram of words and I need my articles to be "beautiful, not realistic." They should also hire phenomenologists and artists in general. Please bring in Björk as a consultant. Jon "you are destroying America" Stewart might have some ideas.
By the way I found some of these essays kinda interesting, at least more interesting than you people.
posted by mbrock at 6:49 AM on December 29, 2015 [10 favorites]
By the way I found some of these essays kinda interesting, at least more interesting than you people.
posted by mbrock at 6:49 AM on December 29, 2015 [10 favorites]
We were playing with and subsequently killing auto-fire audio and video at MSNBC.com back in 1999. 16 years later someone still thinks this is a good idea? Morons.
posted by photoslob at 6:52 AM on December 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by photoslob at 6:52 AM on December 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
It was extremely unclear from the page design, at least on my phone (I found out when I talked accidentally), but the ridiculous blurbs are links to ridiculous essays.
It's amazing how little this helps things.
posted by Artw at 6:56 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
It's amazing how little this helps things.
posted by Artw at 6:56 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
Despite looking down my nose at it, I totally just shared this collection with my new media colleagues. I'm expecting my check from Klout in the mail any day now.
According to their analytics, the desperate reaches performed by digital media companies work, and that's why they continue to perform such annoying feats. That subscribe popover? Got them an extra 10,000 pairs of eyes looking at their email campaigns, just like magic! Auto-refreshing the page, auto-playing video ads? Well, that's two times the pageviews and video plays! What, are you going to go tell the client we're only going to get them half of what we promised just because we want to make things nice for the users? Last time I checked, deadbeat users aren't paying to create and store this content in perpetuity; MegaCorp Inc. is funding all that. And so on.
posted by theraflu at 7:03 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
According to their analytics, the desperate reaches performed by digital media companies work, and that's why they continue to perform such annoying feats. That subscribe popover? Got them an extra 10,000 pairs of eyes looking at their email campaigns, just like magic! Auto-refreshing the page, auto-playing video ads? Well, that's two times the pageviews and video plays! What, are you going to go tell the client we're only going to get them half of what we promised just because we want to make things nice for the users? Last time I checked, deadbeat users aren't paying to create and store this content in perpetuity; MegaCorp Inc. is funding all that. And so on.
posted by theraflu at 7:03 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh look, someone's suggesting engaging with comments sections. Why not just jab yourself all over with rusty needles you find in the street?
posted by Artw at 7:05 AM on December 29, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by Artw at 7:05 AM on December 29, 2015 [11 favorites]
Huh. It randomized each time it loads. That's quite annoying too.
posted by Artw at 7:10 AM on December 29, 2015
posted by Artw at 7:10 AM on December 29, 2015
Huh. It randomized each time it loads.
Ugh...now the top story for me is the rise of the small independent publisher. Because apparently we have not yet experienced an explosive proliferation in tiny publishers. I feel like there's a plankton metaphor hanging out there just out of reach.
posted by mittens at 7:14 AM on December 29, 2015
Ugh...now the top story for me is the rise of the small independent publisher. Because apparently we have not yet experienced an explosive proliferation in tiny publishers. I feel like there's a plankton metaphor hanging out there just out of reach.
posted by mittens at 7:14 AM on December 29, 2015
The one blurb I thought was actually sensible, about pushback on adware, seems to have been pushed out of rotation so I guess I'll never know if the actual article is dumb or not.
posted by Artw at 7:20 AM on December 29, 2015
posted by Artw at 7:20 AM on December 29, 2015
Also by reloading this horrible thing I am probably encouraging them, so I should probably stop doing that.
posted by Artw at 7:21 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 7:21 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Like I want to read children's books. With a picture for every five words. Maybe animations of twinkling stars. Maybe a five second delay between every sentence. I don't know.
Like Facebook.
posted by beagle at 7:21 AM on December 29, 2015
Like Facebook.
posted by beagle at 7:21 AM on December 29, 2015
2018: Journalism will consist exclusively of screen caps of tweets with random links to clickbait farms.
2019: You will have to close a pop-up window on your toilet before you can flush.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:23 AM on December 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
2019: You will have to close a pop-up window on your toilet before you can flush.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:23 AM on December 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
Huh. It randomized each time it loads.
See those buttons under the header? Click the other one, "Most Recent First".
posted by beagle at 7:24 AM on December 29, 2015
See those buttons under the header? Click the other one, "Most Recent First".
posted by beagle at 7:24 AM on December 29, 2015
No, I think I'm done with this particular glimpse into the hell future.
posted by Artw at 7:31 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Artw at 7:31 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
beagle, isn't Facebook just a bunch of links to more and more news articles? And also some embedded full news articles? The "Twine" thing that's happening is more interesting. Like this guide to self-care (not the best example perhaps). I don't want to start blathering about "interactive journalism" because I think Artw might stab me with a rusty comment.
posted by mbrock at 7:36 AM on December 29, 2015
posted by mbrock at 7:36 AM on December 29, 2015
The aforementioned "corporate-maoist" speak of this years' predictions spurred me to slice and dice a few choice products, platforms and predictions into a crude Future Of News Bot. Enjoy(?).
posted by jeffehobbs at 7:38 AM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by jeffehobbs at 7:38 AM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
Future Of News Bot
Seeing the phrase "dark social" makes it all worthwhile.
posted by mittens at 7:41 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Seeing the phrase "dark social" makes it all worthwhile.
posted by mittens at 7:41 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
I am so glad I no longer do this for a living. Every one of these people is that person you hated when you worked at your college newspaper. Phony asshats.
posted by NedKoppel at 7:47 AM on December 29, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by NedKoppel at 7:47 AM on December 29, 2015 [5 favorites]
You have no idea how much this thread means to me right now. I needed y'all to rip this apart. *smooches ArtW on both cheeks*
/Not hamburger
posted by infini at 7:52 AM on December 29, 2015 [6 favorites]
/Not hamburger
posted by infini at 7:52 AM on December 29, 2015 [6 favorites]
I can't wait for the advent of widely available single-use screens, so thin they can be folded up and taken into the bathroom, and so cheap they can be thrown away or used to line birdcages after consumption.
I think something like that would support inline advertising and maybe even a subscription model!
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 7:56 AM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
I think something like that would support inline advertising and maybe even a subscription model!
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 7:56 AM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
Heh. Was a little worried we were ripping on something you liked. Thank you for posting this fascinating and awful thing.
posted by Artw at 7:56 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Artw at 7:56 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
Here's my prediction: Amy Goodman becomes the only credible journalist in the universe. Wait. That happened already? Damn I'm good.
posted by NedKoppel at 8:13 AM on December 29, 2015
posted by NedKoppel at 8:13 AM on December 29, 2015
> Please bring in Björk as a consultant.
I can't think of many industries where this wouldn't be pretty good advice.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 8:17 AM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
I can't think of many industries where this wouldn't be pretty good advice.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 8:17 AM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
And here I was hoping this would be substantial analysis, like how 69 journalists were killed in 2015 and 199 imprisoned with Syria and France as the deadliest countries. It's infuriating that people are dying while attempting to do real journalism in this world and the "predictions for journalism" consists of fucking corporate puff pieces.
posted by graymouser at 8:19 AM on December 29, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by graymouser at 8:19 AM on December 29, 2015 [11 favorites]
Is there an industrial jargon for that thing the New York Times does where you have to chase the popover X two times to pin it down and click it closed?
I nominate that doo doo head. I read very very little New York Times content and that specifically is why.
posted by bukvich at 8:23 AM on December 29, 2015
I nominate that doo doo head. I read very very little New York Times content and that specifically is why.
posted by bukvich at 8:23 AM on December 29, 2015
that 10 x 12 shack in the woods is lookin' better every year
posted by entropicamericana at 8:23 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by entropicamericana at 8:23 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
that 10 x 12 shack in the woods is lookin' better every year
But how reliable is the wifi connection?
posted by Fizz at 8:33 AM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
But how reliable is the wifi connection?
posted by Fizz at 8:33 AM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
You Know Yo Credit Broke
"I am a news reporter at a time when newspaper readership is at an all-time low and respect for my profession has ebbed, seemingly forever. Publishers and news programmers are corporatizing more aggressively, and more emphasis is placed on a single story per day. Perhaps I should just open a vein and bleed out in my own bed."
posted by NedKoppel at 8:36 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
"I am a news reporter at a time when newspaper readership is at an all-time low and respect for my profession has ebbed, seemingly forever. Publishers and news programmers are corporatizing more aggressively, and more emphasis is placed on a single story per day. Perhaps I should just open a vein and bleed out in my own bed."
posted by NedKoppel at 8:36 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Whether this results in cleaner ads or advertisers doubling down and making the web even worse for anyone still putting up with them I do not know.
On my laptop the actual content of the Chicago Sun-Times is now about an inch wide.
posted by srboisvert at 8:54 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
On my laptop the actual content of the Chicago Sun-Times is now about an inch wide.
posted by srboisvert at 8:54 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.
To be fair, the MetaFilter consciousness is a lot more interested in discussing Mad Max:Fury Road and the latest cat videos than launching killer drones, and the occasional drone order gets deleted with the snarky aside by cortex, so it's not so bad.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:03 AM on December 29, 2015 [5 favorites]
To be fair, the MetaFilter consciousness is a lot more interested in discussing Mad Max:Fury Road and the latest cat videos than launching killer drones, and the occasional drone order gets deleted with the snarky aside by cortex, so it's not so bad.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:03 AM on December 29, 2015 [5 favorites]
and the best part about SkynetaFilter is that it wouldn't just be self-aware, it would be self-concious.
posted by mrjohnmuller at 9:53 AM on December 29, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by mrjohnmuller at 9:53 AM on December 29, 2015 [6 favorites]
I have long dreaded the holdidays, a time that I should have looked forward to. Why?
Around Christmas time and the days prior to the new year, we get lists of the best this that and the other thing, most of which many of us laugh at because they seem so off base. This list of Bests is soon followed by lists of What Is To Be guesses...tiresome guesses at best and of little use for any reason whatsoever.
If we did away with Lists of the Bests and Lists of What Is To Be, could we somehow survive this time of year?
posted by Postroad at 9:54 AM on December 29, 2015
Around Christmas time and the days prior to the new year, we get lists of the best this that and the other thing, most of which many of us laugh at because they seem so off base. This list of Bests is soon followed by lists of What Is To Be guesses...tiresome guesses at best and of little use for any reason whatsoever.
If we did away with Lists of the Bests and Lists of What Is To Be, could we somehow survive this time of year?
posted by Postroad at 9:54 AM on December 29, 2015
Late '90s me narrowed his career choices down to journalism and librarianship. I sure know how to pick 'em.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:04 AM on December 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:04 AM on December 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
Jesus. The page never ends. Literally the poster site for TLDR.
................
I can see the backlash against ads and trackers being a big thing.
It's already started. But sites are fighting back against blocking. It's become a daily thing where pages don't work unless I disable the ad blocker. The FPP up-page about photos of the year, for instance. There are links to pages that refuse to load the photos unless your ad blocker is disabled. But, yeah, I think it's going to get even uglier.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:55 PM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
................
I can see the backlash against ads and trackers being a big thing.
It's already started. But sites are fighting back against blocking. It's become a daily thing where pages don't work unless I disable the ad blocker. The FPP up-page about photos of the year, for instance. There are links to pages that refuse to load the photos unless your ad blocker is disabled. But, yeah, I think it's going to get even uglier.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:55 PM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
I can't believe none of these people think 2016 is the year of Vine.
None of them.
posted by Mezentian at 2:05 PM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
None of them.
posted by Mezentian at 2:05 PM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
and the best part about SkynetaFilter is that it wouldn't just be self-aware, it would be self-concious.
and embarrassed.
posted by srboisvert at 2:22 PM on December 29, 2015
and embarrassed.
posted by srboisvert at 2:22 PM on December 29, 2015
If in 2016 your website doesn't return a well-formatted, attractive, and informative result from a parser like the Iframely debugger, you need new website people.
posted by ob1quixote at 8:06 PM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ob1quixote at 8:06 PM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Page Views Don’t Matter Anymore—But They Just Won’t Die
posted by Artw at 9:38 AM on December 31, 2015
posted by Artw at 9:38 AM on December 31, 2015
« Older The center | battle fatigue Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
Whether this results in cleaner ads or advertisers doubling down and making the web even worse for anyone still putting up with them I do not know.
posted by Artw at 5:30 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]