The Forced Humor Awakens
January 13, 2016 12:14 AM   Subscribe

Star Wars VII Parody Twitter Accounts seemed to reach their zenith with the spoilery Emo Kylo Ren, but it has been totally eclipsed (wait... that's no moon), because if you ever wondered what kind of father the Original Trilogy's Rogue Han Solo would be, Dad Joke Han Solo explains it all (and spoils even more, you have been warned).
posted by oneswellfoop (24 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
 
Omg.

"Ben: WHERE IS THE RESISTANCE KEEPING THEIR ARMIES?
Me: IN THEIR SLEEVIES

I think Ben has fallen in with a bad crowd. Can jokes save him?"

It's so pitch perfect it's actually making me sad about Han Solo right now
posted by town of cats at 12:20 AM on January 13, 2016 [18 favorites]


Very Lonely Luke:

If someone ever finds me, I'll have so many stories to tell.

Like that time I stared at the ocean for 20 years.

OK, I only have one story.

posted by Pendragon at 12:56 AM on January 13, 2016 [14 favorites]


Today in the cantina I put little instruments on the cans of tuna.
Ben asked what I was doing and I said "starting a CAN TUNA band!"


This is a very strange, modern thing, isn't it?

When parody twitter accounts collide (h/t to numaner from the hellishly long Fanfare thread).
posted by Mezentian at 1:00 AM on January 13, 2016 [9 favorites]




Damn it, Mezentian! Beaten to the punch. You must have Jedi reflexes to comment so well.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 1:03 AM on January 13, 2016


Ben how do I do emojicons?
posted by biscotti at 2:32 AM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ben: A bittersweet Force Awakens comic strip.
posted by fairmettle at 4:23 AM on January 13, 2016 [10 favorites]


I actually said something like the last line of the article to my wife during the movie.

I'm turning into MY father...
posted by randomkeystrike at 5:18 AM on January 13, 2016




Emo Kylo Ren and Very Lonely Luke don't get along at all.

It appears the light side of the force is better at doing the dozens than the dark side.
posted by alms at 6:44 AM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


I like to think that Kylo Ren's political belief's are twisted versions of what Han would say over the Dejarik table at breakfast.

Like Han would say "This 'New Republic' can't get anything done. They really need one leader to guide them."
posted by drezdn at 6:51 AM on January 13, 2016


Like Han would say "This 'New Republic' can't get anything done. They really need one leader to guide them."

It would also be helpful if it the same entity owned it for more than a couple of years at a time.
posted by kenko at 7:15 AM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


@JohnWallace82
@dadjokehansolo I'll be your son

@dadjokehansolo 10h10 hours ago
I can't adopt you! If I have two sons then everyone will think I am Tatooine!

Oh my god. These are totally dad jokes. Groan!
posted by Sophie1 at 8:17 AM on January 13, 2016 [4 favorites]


Has he done the Tauntaun/Luke-warm bit yet?
posted by nubs at 8:33 AM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ben: A bittersweet Force Awakens comic strip.

Make sure you're listening to Michael Jackson's 'Ben' while reading. :(
posted by mazola at 8:56 AM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


I keep following parody Han Solo accounts to go with Emo Kylo and they all disappoint me with politics. Fingers crossed that this one just keeps on with the corn and stays away from politics.
posted by immlass at 9:47 AM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


Now I understand why Ben turned to the Dark Side.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:57 PM on January 13, 2016


Kylo Trump.

(Although, it makes more sense than the real deal).
posted by Mezentian at 3:39 PM on January 13, 2016


Then there is Cool Mom Leia (aka General Mom Leia).
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:21 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


I feel old.
Can someone explain Cool Mom Leia's pinned tweet?
It seems to relate to Nikki Minaj in some way, but I don't speak GIF.
posted by Mezentian at 7:27 PM on January 13, 2016


(I did laugh at #FeelTheBern, though, so I am not completely out of touch, although I am not sure what it has to do with Switzerland).
posted by Mezentian at 7:28 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


she just directed Nikki's semi-legendary award show diss at Luke...

and #TheBern is Bernie Sanders, who's in better shape than Anakin/Darth in that GIF

I didn't say Cool Mom Leia was great, but it filled in some obvious gaps
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:48 PM on January 13, 2016


she just directed Nikki's semi-legendary award show diss

Darmok and Jalad At Tanagra.
Shaka, when the walls fell.
Temba, his arms wide.

I feel like Picard in Darmok now. I really do.

(Although, to be fair, Nicki Minaj always seems to be in an argument with someone, which makes it hard to google, some some clever internet detective work seems to unearth the background. Truly, the Internet can be a baffling place if you're not tapped into the right feeds).
posted by Mezentian at 9:36 PM on January 13, 2016


Oh god, Cool Mom Leia is on a roll at times. I kinda wonder how many people are running it because the posts vary wildly in quality, but here's the best of the bunch.

"New Slack channel at work is just sneak-shots of Poe Dameron. I know I should put a stop to this, but I'm wondering how far it'll go first.
"Many Bothans died to bring us this information." "Well, as long as it was just the Bothans..." I don't think anybody gets my jokes at work
Han, Cooking is not "a woman's job." It is not a princess job. It is not a General job. No.
Reminder: I'm a better shot than my "chosen one" twin or my "shot first" husband. No shade on Chewie, tho.
Ben, Vader wasn't that special. He was an asthmatic old misogynist. I'm a princess, a general, a killer shot, a rebel. Choose wisely, my son
Dad, Why did you want Luke to rule the galaxy with you? What is your problem? He doesn't even have a history of ruling. Why do you ignore me
There are days everyone in my family is incredibly lucky I never figured out how to force-choke people.
I'm a general, a princess, and force sensitive, and I *still* faced a glass ceiling: Vader was more interested in recruiting Luke than me.
Just think about that for a minute. Vader was more interested in the twerp whining about power converters than the MEMBER OF A ROYAL FAMILY.
If this shit isn't #EverydaySexism I have no idea what is.
275k followers and my brother complains about being lonely.
Ben, don't you want to spend time with your mom? I got podracing tickets. It was Vader's favorite. Sweetie? Please come out of your room.
Kessel Run isn't the only thing Han finishes in 12 parsecs. #sigh
Han, please ask your son to not wear his #SithLivesMatter when we go visit my brother.
Ben said #DavidBowie wasn't as important as Darth Vader. He's grounded now. I'm a cool mom but even I have limits.
Tried showing off what a good shot I am to Ben. He said, "nothing is more impressive than the force," and then asked for a ride to the mall.
Ben said today that girls are just not as good pilots because domesticity. I have never been so tempted to shrink a cowl in the wash before.
Being a general means everyone does what you say. Being a mom means nobody does what you say. #sigh
My father tortured me, but at least he never forced me to go to a band recital, Ben.
Mom, did you give up and die because you knew Luke would be such a whiny brat? Sometimes I feel like you're the only person who understands.
Ben, honestly, just because Darth Vader didn't have a father doesn't mean you can tell your classmates you don't either. Not immaculate, hon
Ben, we are having company over tonight and if you can NOT talk about Darth Vader, I will buy you a videogame.
You know, Ben, Darth Vader may have been a droid-building pilot, but I once bluffed my way into a mobster's den with an explosive. I'm cool.
You know, Ben, your mom used to go to some pretty wild parties back in the day. Did I ever tell you about Jabba's palace?
*googles "how do I tell my son grandpa was evil?"*
New guy on the base commented I "look like a mom." I said he looked like a guy who had been reassigned to Hoth. Dress warm, asshole.
Kind of looking for a gentle way to tell him I *do* have the force, I'm just a little too important to go hiding away on an island.
It's a little weird that my brother gets drunk every Life Day and asks if I want to make Han jealous again."

posted by jenfullmoon at 10:43 PM on January 13, 2016 [4 favorites]


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