Fabio Helped Me Escape From a Cult
January 13, 2016 12:33 PM Subscribe
When you’ve been in a cult and you meet new people at a dinner party, you’re never quite sure when to bring it up. But I know one thing: If I do bring it up, nobody ever finds my story boring.
Wait, Zoolander was a documentary?
posted by Etrigan at 12:49 PM on January 13, 2016 [29 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 12:49 PM on January 13, 2016 [29 favorites]
That's the most irresistible title I've ever seen in my life. I'm glad he got out. The power of charisma fascinates me. "In my mind I was working him, kind of taking advantage of this guy and all his cool connections." Ain't that just how it goes? The best traps, you think you're very clever for having gotten in them.
I never expected to say this about anything ever, but this story doesn't deliver nearly as much Fabio as I'd hoped for. Kudos to him for stepping up when a friend needed help.
posted by Lou Stuells at 12:50 PM on January 13, 2016 [38 favorites]
I never expected to say this about anything ever, but this story doesn't deliver nearly as much Fabio as I'd hoped for. Kudos to him for stepping up when a friend needed help.
posted by Lou Stuells at 12:50 PM on January 13, 2016 [38 favorites]
That was unexpectedly sad. Intellectually, I know that beauty and success in school don't protect you from depression and trauma - and in fact, it's my best-looking friends who have had the hardest knocks in life - but it's still so strange to read that someone who had so many of the marks of worldly success still hated himself like that.
posted by Frowner at 12:53 PM on January 13, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by Frowner at 12:53 PM on January 13, 2016 [10 favorites]
"I can't believe it's not the apocalypse!"
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:54 PM on January 13, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:54 PM on January 13, 2016 [5 favorites]
For those keeping track, this would be right after that bird hit Fabio in the face on the rollercoaster. Probably no connection.
posted by roger ackroyd at 1:01 PM on January 13, 2016 [15 favorites]
posted by roger ackroyd at 1:01 PM on January 13, 2016 [15 favorites]
I wanted more Fabio, too. It's so weird how this stuff works--this guy was bankrolling the people who called him Dipshit. I'm glad he was able to get some of his money back and, seemingly, a much better life. And after 20 years, too.
posted by Bella Donna at 1:14 PM on January 13, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 1:14 PM on January 13, 2016 [4 favorites]
It's so weird how this stuff works--this guy was bankrolling the people who called him Dipshit.
My wife loves to point this one out. She noticed it when she was getting divorced, but started to see it everywhere: certain types of people will deal with the fact that they're dependent on someone by abusing the hell out of them.
posted by lodurr at 1:20 PM on January 13, 2016 [44 favorites]
My wife loves to point this one out. She noticed it when she was getting divorced, but started to see it everywhere: certain types of people will deal with the fact that they're dependent on someone by abusing the hell out of them.
posted by lodurr at 1:20 PM on January 13, 2016 [44 favorites]
Seems accurate. A friend of mine did an art project with Fabio and mentioned what a great guy he was.
posted by misterpatrick at 1:21 PM on January 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by misterpatrick at 1:21 PM on January 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
I kind of like that Fabio helps him just by being a basic reliable dude who gives him a place to crash and sort his head out. Although it would have been cooler if Fabio had taken the Ironsword out of storage and gone forth to single-handedly slay the Arcturian serpent-god who was mind-controlling the cultists.
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:22 PM on January 13, 2016 [40 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:22 PM on January 13, 2016 [40 favorites]
Last month, WashPost had a great article, where the premise was pretty much "reporter rides for 15 hours with Fabio from his house to his ranch". Showed a side of Fabio I wasn't expecting.
posted by k5.user at 1:29 PM on January 13, 2016 [15 favorites]
posted by k5.user at 1:29 PM on January 13, 2016 [15 favorites]
k5.user, thanks for the article link. I love this Fabio quote, because it's so true: “A lot of people, they think, ‘Oh, I’m only going to be happy when I find a special person who is going to make me happy.’ No. In life, you have to be happy with yourself first, number one. When you’re happy with yourself, you have to find another person who is happy with herself so you can share your happiness.”
posted by Bella Donna at 1:37 PM on January 13, 2016 [34 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 1:37 PM on January 13, 2016 [34 favorites]
It's a fun article. It looks like he started telling this story about two years ago. See NYPost Jan 2014 for instance, with a nice photo of Fabio + Hoyt.
I couldn't find the Vanity Fair expose mentioned, but it appears to be titled "East Side Alien", by Marie Brenner, March 1990. I did find a 1992 article with Hoyt defending Eternal Values.
posted by Nelson at 1:41 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
I couldn't find the Vanity Fair expose mentioned, but it appears to be titled "East Side Alien", by Marie Brenner, March 1990. I did find a 1992 article with Hoyt defending Eternal Values.
posted by Nelson at 1:41 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
I was really hoping Fabio had sat him down for a long, emotional talk in which they hashed out the situation
I was kind of hoping that Fabio would punch a couple of cultists, then they would escape along a cliff edge, and hold each other as the sun rose, the surf rolling in distantly below, and a soft breeze ruffling their hair.
But this is OK, too.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:33 PM on January 13, 2016 [33 favorites]
I was kind of hoping that Fabio would punch a couple of cultists, then they would escape along a cliff edge, and hold each other as the sun rose, the surf rolling in distantly below, and a soft breeze ruffling their hair.
But this is OK, too.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:33 PM on January 13, 2016 [33 favorites]
I'm always happy to hear someone able to pull themselves out of a supremely bad situation and move on to a happier life. That Fabio helped and is actually a hero like on his now oft-mocked romance novel covers is icing on the cake.
posted by smirkette at 3:44 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by smirkette at 3:44 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
A nice hook for the story - SAVED BY FABIO. But more seriously, good for him. I can't imagine trying to unpack 20 years of whacked out baggage from something like that.
posted by rmd1023 at 3:59 PM on January 13, 2016
posted by rmd1023 at 3:59 PM on January 13, 2016
I actually love that Fabio's role in all this is just to offer this guy a safe place to figure his shit out in peace. It's such a mundane, down-to-earth way for someone who seems larger than life to support someone, and probably also one of the more helpful ways to support someone.
posted by chrominance at 4:14 PM on January 13, 2016 [27 favorites]
posted by chrominance at 4:14 PM on January 13, 2016 [27 favorites]
Can anyone from Philly explain "Let’s just say I come from a family of six, from the main line of Philadelphia, and that I had a mother who was hard to please" to me?
posted by clawsoon at 4:22 PM on January 13, 2016
posted by clawsoon at 4:22 PM on January 13, 2016
What is it about Arcturus? I've known people who think they are reincarnated beings from there.
posted by kanewai at 4:24 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by kanewai at 4:24 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is a great article! I was raised with an almost paranoid attitude toward cults (which my grandparents instilled in me from a young age) so sometimes I get a little too vigilant. But going through a separation/divorce process with my wife, it's been really incredibly striking how many people have tried to get me to join their churches--Christians, of course, you'd expect, but I've been getting it left and right from people I understood to be secularists too (they all want me to join UU). People, the crap I need help with are bills, holes in my roof, and raising my kids with ADD. I don't need your religion or some new age version of The Secret to help me. I need actual, practical help, thanks so much for your kindness!
posted by saulgoodman at 4:45 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by saulgoodman at 4:45 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
Anyway, point is, it's interesting how these entanglements always seem to begin with such reasonable-seeming steps, as in this account...
posted by saulgoodman at 4:47 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by saulgoodman at 4:47 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
This needs to be made into a Wes Andersen movie.
posted by vorpal bunny at 5:08 PM on January 13, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by vorpal bunny at 5:08 PM on January 13, 2016 [4 favorites]
clawsoon: "The Main Line is an unofficial historical and socio-cultural region of suburban Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, along the former Main Line of the Pennsylvania Railroad...[It] became home to sprawling country estates belonging to Philadelphia's wealthiest families, and over the decades became a bastion of "old money". Today, the Main Line includes some of the wealthiest communities in the country..."
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:41 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:41 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
He even let me drive one of his Porches.
With all the planters and patio furniture, there's no way that's street legal.
posted by dr_dank at 5:49 PM on January 13, 2016 [17 favorites]
With all the planters and patio furniture, there's no way that's street legal.
posted by dr_dank at 5:49 PM on January 13, 2016 [17 favorites]
While I was at Fabio’s, I began doing a lot of reading. Top Highlightposted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:52 PM on January 13, 2016 [8 favorites]
Poor guy, I think it's really sad. I also find it really interesting that he devotes a quite a lot of energy into telling us that EVERYONE is a cult relationship somehow. He reiterates it several times, he really seems to need to think that it's not just him that got caught up in it. We're all gullible and easily taken advantage of, NOT JUST ME. You're in a cult too, you just don't know it, whose gullible now?!
posted by Jubey at 6:02 PM on January 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Jubey at 6:02 PM on January 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
Kanewai: I'm wondering if these people are influenced by David Lindsey's fantasy novel, "A Voyage to Arcturus". Highly recommend the book.
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 6:08 PM on January 13, 2016
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 6:08 PM on January 13, 2016
What is it about Arcturus?
It's the Stephen Hawking of stars--really bright, cool name.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:11 PM on January 13, 2016 [6 favorites]
It's the Stephen Hawking of stars--really bright, cool name.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:11 PM on January 13, 2016 [6 favorites]
"No matter how hard I tried, I was always Dipshit."
I can't even start on how many times I've felt like this, except I'm sure the nicknames were worse and said behind my back.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:24 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
I can't even start on how many times I've felt like this, except I'm sure the nicknames were worse and said behind my back.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:24 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
We need a Goodguy Greg meme but Fabio.
posted by Damienmce at 6:36 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Damienmce at 6:36 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm glad he was able to get some of his money back and, seemingly, a much better life.
posted by amirimtiaz at 7:43 PM on January 13, 2016
posted by amirimtiaz at 7:43 PM on January 13, 2016
While I was at Fabio’s,* I began doing a lot of reading.
*in Fabio's vast and fabled library of fashion magazines,
posted by gorgor_balabala at 8:22 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
*in Fabio's vast and fabled library of fashion magazines,
posted by gorgor_balabala at 8:22 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
whose gullible now?!
It's "who's gullible now?!" dipshit.
Congratulations, you now belong to my anti-cult/pro-pedantry cult, as if that were even a thing. You're probably gullible enough to believe it's actually a thing, too...
/hamburger
posted by saulgoodman at 8:49 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
It's "who's gullible now?!" dipshit.
Congratulations, you now belong to my anti-cult/pro-pedantry cult, as if that were even a thing. You're probably gullible enough to believe it's actually a thing, too...
/hamburger
posted by saulgoodman at 8:49 PM on January 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
He claimed to be an alien reincarnated from the distant star Arcturus.
Given the pictures of Von Mierers, I find this claim wholly credible.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 9:10 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Given the pictures of Von Mierers, I find this claim wholly credible.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 9:10 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Bella Donna: "k5.user, thanks for the article link. I love this Fabio quote, because it's so true: “A lot of people, they think, ‘Oh, I’m only going to be happy when I find a special person who is going to make me happy.’ No. In life, you have to be happy with yourself first, number one. When you’re happy with yourself, you have to find another person who is happy with herself so you can share your happiness.”"
And this is why I get frustrated with my counselor, as she keeps pushing me to date. I just don't see myself as a hot property, and that's not a good way to start something healthy.
posted by Samizdata at 10:34 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
And this is why I get frustrated with my counselor, as she keeps pushing me to date. I just don't see myself as a hot property, and that's not a good way to start something healthy.
posted by Samizdata at 10:34 PM on January 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
GenjiandProust: "I was really hoping Fabio had sat him down for a long, emotional talk in which they hashed out the situation
I was kind of hoping that Fabio would punch a couple of cultists, then they would escape along a cliff edge, and hold each other as the sun rose, the surf rolling in distantly below, and a soft breeze ruffling their hair.
But this is OK, too."
Can we not spout slash at every opportunity please? I live a generally 'shipping-free life and would like it to stay that way.
And, yes, I like hamburger.
posted by Samizdata at 10:39 PM on January 13, 2016
I was kind of hoping that Fabio would punch a couple of cultists, then they would escape along a cliff edge, and hold each other as the sun rose, the surf rolling in distantly below, and a soft breeze ruffling their hair.
But this is OK, too."
Can we not spout slash at every opportunity please? I live a generally 'shipping-free life and would like it to stay that way.
And, yes, I like hamburger.
posted by Samizdata at 10:39 PM on January 13, 2016
... surviving an apocalyptic, vegetarian cult
As if apocalyptic isn't bad enough already.
posted by sour cream at 12:44 AM on January 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
As if apocalyptic isn't bad enough already.
posted by sour cream at 12:44 AM on January 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Wait, Zoolander was a documentary?
Fabio is a lock for the Model-Slash-Deprogrammer award. So hot right now.
posted by um at 3:12 AM on January 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
Fabio is a lock for the Model-Slash-Deprogrammer award. So hot right now.
posted by um at 3:12 AM on January 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
Partially quoting myself from a different post to tell a Fabio story... I got to be a VIP at events preceding a 1999 Columbia launch (STS-93) because my father played a significant role in designing the payload (the Chandra X-Ray telescope satellite). There were several days worth of parties, scientific lectures, tours, and strange events, e.g., a concert featuring a horrendous Judy Collins performance of an original song dedicated to Eileen Collins, the first female shuttle commander. One thing that was pretty amusing: the presence of Fabio thanks to a prank the astronauts played on one of their group, Cady Coleman. The astronauts get some number of VIP tickets to distribute to their friends and family and the group wrote Fabio a letter purportedly from Coleman offering him a ticket and claiming to be a huge fan of his work.
Fabio showed up for the whole thing, and it was great. At first he was the subject of some snickering because he was striding around wearing black jeans with his shirt open to reveal his waxed chest. But he was completely sincere, very friendly and genuinely interested in the whole shebang. Fabio attended every single activity, stayed at the Hampton Inn (or the like) along with everyone else as NASA had arranged, etc. He had flown out from California to be there and brought along a non-industry friend who he thought would enjoy it. Oh and he gave out autographs and let his photo be taken with good humor... and correctly refused people who wanted him to sign the NASA swag we were all given. A+++ would attend space shuttle launch with Fabio again.
posted by carmicha at 5:47 AM on January 14, 2016 [74 favorites]
Fabio showed up for the whole thing, and it was great. At first he was the subject of some snickering because he was striding around wearing black jeans with his shirt open to reveal his waxed chest. But he was completely sincere, very friendly and genuinely interested in the whole shebang. Fabio attended every single activity, stayed at the Hampton Inn (or the like) along with everyone else as NASA had arranged, etc. He had flown out from California to be there and brought along a non-industry friend who he thought would enjoy it. Oh and he gave out autographs and let his photo be taken with good humor... and correctly refused people who wanted him to sign the NASA swag we were all given. A+++ would attend space shuttle launch with Fabio again.
posted by carmicha at 5:47 AM on January 14, 2016 [74 favorites]
If Jesus and Bowie themselves appeared in a sunbeam and told me that story was a damn lie, I would tell them to go fuck themselves, carmicha.
posted by Etrigan at 6:27 AM on January 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 6:27 AM on January 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
Fabio is so easy to make fun of on the surface.
And yet I have never read anything about him being a dick to anyone. He always comes off like in the NASA story, sincere & pleasant to people.
Yeah, I was hoping for Fabio putting on a wig & glasses & doing some "Moscow Rules" spycraft shit. But "You can crash at my place till you get your stuff on track" actaully is kinda just right.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 7:22 AM on January 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
And yet I have never read anything about him being a dick to anyone. He always comes off like in the NASA story, sincere & pleasant to people.
Yeah, I was hoping for Fabio putting on a wig & glasses & doing some "Moscow Rules" spycraft shit. But "You can crash at my place till you get your stuff on track" actaully is kinda just right.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 7:22 AM on January 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
What is it about Arcturus? I've known people who think they are reincarnated beings from there.
I am reliably informed that sexual intercourse with Arcturians is so spectacular that the sex of the particular Arcturian one is bedding is immaterial, even if that would run counter to one's more general sexual preference or identity.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:35 AM on January 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
I am reliably informed that sexual intercourse with Arcturians is so spectacular that the sex of the particular Arcturian one is bedding is immaterial, even if that would run counter to one's more general sexual preference or identity.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:35 AM on January 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
We need a Goodguy Greg meme but Fabio.
Fine Fellow Fabio?
posted by haileris23 at 8:37 AM on January 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
Fine Fellow Fabio?
posted by haileris23 at 8:37 AM on January 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
That is the dumbest cult indoctrination story I've ever read. This guy is an idiot. I think you could have made this person fall for anything.
posted by prepmonkey at 8:47 AM on January 14, 2016
posted by prepmonkey at 8:47 AM on January 14, 2016
FINE FELLOW FABIO
[picture]
REFUSES TO DISTRACT ANYONE
FROM AWESOME SHUTTLE LAUNCH
posted by Etrigan at 8:49 AM on January 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
[picture]
REFUSES TO DISTRACT ANYONE
FROM AWESOME SHUTTLE LAUNCH
posted by Etrigan at 8:49 AM on January 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
He got sucked in at 16 and appears to have had an abusive narcissistic mother, but don't let that stop anyone from patting themselves on the back for being smarty mcsmartypants
posted by aydeejones at 10:23 AM on January 14, 2016 [14 favorites]
posted by aydeejones at 10:23 AM on January 14, 2016 [14 favorites]
Also, "LOL he read stuff at Fabio's house" = "certainly Fabio can't be a fawned-over model and be a smart person with real books or somehow I will feel less than." Yes I'm doing a meta version of it but seriously, it really just comes off as anti-intellectual and antiquated judgement
posted by aydeejones at 10:35 AM on January 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by aydeejones at 10:35 AM on January 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
We're all gullible and easily taken advantage of, NOT JUST ME.
I dunno. I have certainly been overinvested in various groups over the years, where my whole social life was tied up in a single group. Now, I like to think that the fact that none of those groups were controlling cults is due to my immense powers of perception and evaluation, but there was probably some luck in there. For example, I grew up in a conservative church, and I could have remained there if my friend group hadn't, somewhat by chance, exposed me to a much wider world when I was in my early teens. I'm not sure he's so much soothing himself with the thought everyone is in a cult but warning people how easy it is to lose 20 years of yourself thinking that the problem is you.
As for Fabio, it's easy to make fun of him (and, indeed I did, although nicely, I like to think), but, everything I have ever read about him makes him seem like an OK person.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:45 AM on January 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I dunno. I have certainly been overinvested in various groups over the years, where my whole social life was tied up in a single group. Now, I like to think that the fact that none of those groups were controlling cults is due to my immense powers of perception and evaluation, but there was probably some luck in there. For example, I grew up in a conservative church, and I could have remained there if my friend group hadn't, somewhat by chance, exposed me to a much wider world when I was in my early teens. I'm not sure he's so much soothing himself with the thought everyone is in a cult but warning people how easy it is to lose 20 years of yourself thinking that the problem is you.
As for Fabio, it's easy to make fun of him (and, indeed I did, although nicely, I like to think), but, everything I have ever read about him makes him seem like an OK person.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:45 AM on January 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I am reliably informed that sexual intercourse with Arcturians is so spectacular that the sex of the particular Arcturian one is bedding is immaterial, even if that would run counter to one's more general sexual preference or identity.
You're not sounding very xenophobic there, ROU_Xenophobe.
posted by kanewai at 12:31 PM on January 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
You're not sounding very xenophobic there, ROU_Xenophobe.
posted by kanewai at 12:31 PM on January 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
You're not sounding very xenophobic there, ROU_Xenophobe.
What is this, some kind ofwitch bug hunt?
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:42 PM on January 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
What is this, some kind of
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:42 PM on January 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Wait, Zoolander was a documentary?
Fabio is a lock for the Model-Slash-Deprogrammer award. So hot right now.
I consider him a deprogrammer-slash-model, and not the other way around.
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:35 PM on January 14, 2016
Fabio is a lock for the Model-Slash-Deprogrammer award. So hot right now.
I consider him a deprogrammer-slash-model, and not the other way around.
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:35 PM on January 14, 2016
We're all gullible and easily taken advantage of, NOT JUST ME.
I also find this criticism to be a bit glib. Like a lot of things, issues with power and social relationship aren't black and white, and I can see a connection between being in a cult and groupthink and internet sounding chambers. It actually poses a pretty interesting question, can you identify ways in which your social relationships cause you to act in ways you wouldn't otherwise? I can think of quite a few. . .
posted by ianhattwick at 3:16 PM on January 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I also find this criticism to be a bit glib. Like a lot of things, issues with power and social relationship aren't black and white, and I can see a connection between being in a cult and groupthink and internet sounding chambers. It actually poses a pretty interesting question, can you identify ways in which your social relationships cause you to act in ways you wouldn't otherwise? I can think of quite a few. . .
posted by ianhattwick at 3:16 PM on January 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
It really sounds like the 1980s movie Life of Brian Your not the Messiah just a silly boy.
posted by Narrative_Historian at 11:03 PM on January 14, 2016
posted by Narrative_Historian at 11:03 PM on January 14, 2016
Hold on, did I just read a retelling of Carrie with Fabio as Carrie White and a bunch of astronauts at a shuttle launch instead of popular kids at prom?
posted by Lou Stuells at 12:39 AM on January 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Lou Stuells at 12:39 AM on January 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
no, i don't think so, because the Fabio version would have Fabio-Carrie just persuading everyone to get along through his/her easygoing good nature and the mystique of his/her waxed chest. A little anticlimactic. But probably a more constructive message, overall.
posted by lodurr at 11:00 AM on January 15, 2016
posted by lodurr at 11:00 AM on January 15, 2016
He got sucked in at 16 and appears to have had an abusive narcissistic mother, but don't let that stop anyone from patting themselves on the back for being smarty mcsmartypants
Also, the guy being a connection was a big incentive for him. I'm also guessing that coked-up 80s club culture helped a little. Plus, if you are used to abuse then it has a way of reeling you in because it feels normal and almost comfortable. That was the takeaway there. Weird apocalyptical Arcturian-gemstone worship aside, if you're used to being treated like shit, then normality feels a little scary to you; it's like the devil you know.
One thing cults capitalized on so heavily was damaged people's deep need to belong and the enduring strength of trauma bonds. Then the weird beliefs become secondary, and it becomes "how dare you question this- you need to prove your loyalty to the group." Plus there are all kinds of tactics of deprivation that result in sensory confusion and overall discombobulation. It's easy to laugh and say "damn that shit is stupid", because yeah, it is. But I think it's also a testament to how well cult tactics work. The book "Snapping" by Flo Conway really covers it all well. It's a fascinating look at extreme psychology & manipulation.
Fabio could've been the answer to so much 70s cult damage...who knew?
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 1:22 PM on January 15, 2016 [3 favorites]
Also, the guy being a connection was a big incentive for him. I'm also guessing that coked-up 80s club culture helped a little. Plus, if you are used to abuse then it has a way of reeling you in because it feels normal and almost comfortable. That was the takeaway there. Weird apocalyptical Arcturian-gemstone worship aside, if you're used to being treated like shit, then normality feels a little scary to you; it's like the devil you know.
One thing cults capitalized on so heavily was damaged people's deep need to belong and the enduring strength of trauma bonds. Then the weird beliefs become secondary, and it becomes "how dare you question this- you need to prove your loyalty to the group." Plus there are all kinds of tactics of deprivation that result in sensory confusion and overall discombobulation. It's easy to laugh and say "damn that shit is stupid", because yeah, it is. But I think it's also a testament to how well cult tactics work. The book "Snapping" by Flo Conway really covers it all well. It's a fascinating look at extreme psychology & manipulation.
Fabio could've been the answer to so much 70s cult damage...who knew?
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 1:22 PM on January 15, 2016 [3 favorites]
Fabio could've been the answer to so much 70s cult damage...who knew?
This makes a good punchline, but his role in this story is to provide a model for a normal caring human relationship. Stories about people in cults often seem to end up being stories about people who haven't had enough of those.
posted by lodurr at 5:28 AM on January 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
This makes a good punchline, but his role in this story is to provide a model for a normal caring human relationship. Stories about people in cults often seem to end up being stories about people who haven't had enough of those.
posted by lodurr at 5:28 AM on January 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
Aside re. that trauma-bonding page: The layout & design of that page look eerily like how I remember the old Cult Awareness Network pages looking. And some of the content is the kind of stuff they would have had there.
posted by lodurr at 5:36 AM on January 17, 2016
posted by lodurr at 5:36 AM on January 17, 2016
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posted by Pope Guilty at 12:46 PM on January 13, 2016 [5 favorites]