The incredible tale of irresponsible choco milk research at U Maryland

January 21, 2016 6:52 AM

Academic press offices are known to overhype their own research. But the University of Maryland recently took this to appalling new heights — trumpeting an incredibly shoddy study on chocolate milk and concussions that happened to benefit a corporate partner. It's a cautionary tale of just how badly science can go awry as universities increasingly partner with corporations to conduct research.

For much more, see the Health News Review that broke this story run by the Center for Media Communication and Health within the UMN School of Public Health. They task industry independent experts with reviewing health news stories and generating quantitative data on what they find. See particularly their:

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posted by Blasdelb (19 comments total)

How Corporations Corrupt Science at the Public's Expense previously
posted by Blasdelb at 6:54 AM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

This is a particularly egregious example, but NEVER believe anything a University press office releases - even from strong universties and reputable research groups. They are, more and more these days, merchants of hype-babble of the worst kind.


Always relevant PhD comics strip.
posted by lalochezia at 6:56 AM on January 21, 2016 [13 favorites]

The Health News Review link under the fold is the same as the last link.
posted by dismas at 6:59 AM on January 21, 2016

The post title said "Choco Milk" and I was thinking this was a FInal Fantasy story that I very much did not want to read.
posted by xedrik at 7:03 AM on January 21, 2016 [4 favorites]

When I was in middle school I discovered that having an English muffin and drinking a chocolate milk helped Racing Destruction Set load faster. SCIENCE.
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:07 AM on January 21, 2016

The post title said "Choco Milk" and I was thinking this was a FInal Fantasy story that I very much did not want to read

And to think, Chocobo breeding was such a big thing; I remember some of my friends had guide books on the *best ways* to go about it. I had forgotten about that years ago, and now you've brought it all flooding back.

Worse yet (and presumably your point), since Chocobos were ostensibly avian, one can surmise that their "milk" would *not* mean lactation. Ewww...
posted by mystyk at 7:12 AM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh God, the website of the chocolate milk maker is AMAZING. For a second I thought it was a rip-off of Brawndo.
posted by Cash4Lead at 7:14 AM on January 21, 2016 [4 favorites]

You gross Chcocobo people need to watch this and get your minds out of the gutter.

On topic: Good lord, that original "study" is spectacular and I can't imagine how anyone involved in the press release could have made the mistake of publishing it. I at least *understand* how corporate money seeps into universities but c'mon son, that is so obviously going to blow up in your face.
posted by dismas at 7:18 AM on January 21, 2016

What blows my mind is that they only had to provide 10% of the funds for the study. They didn't even have to fully buy the scientists. What the fuck is going on when these researchers are spending either university or grant money for corporate advertising? Given just how hard grants are to get, how was this not caught? Will the offending lab at least have to explain to the NIH or whoever how they screwed the pooch with this?
posted by Hactar at 7:19 AM on January 21, 2016 [7 favorites]

On double checking, the university funded the other 90%, not a grant. Still, WTF? That money could have gone to comfy new couches for the deans or something equally worthy.
posted by Hactar at 7:21 AM on January 21, 2016

It's deliciously unethical!
posted by Krazor at 7:22 AM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Always relevant PhD comics strip.

In the present case, however, it is the scientists themselves who are to blame.
posted by No Robots at 7:51 AM on January 21, 2016

Don't forget to check out the videos! You can watch chocolate milk creators explain how the consumption of excess protein from inferior sources will SUCK THE CALCIUM FROM YOUR BONES: "There's a very real chance that these kids are actually decreasing their bone density by doing these large amounts of whey protein supplementation."

There are two solutions to this (possibly nonexistent) problem:

1. Don't consume excess protein supplement that your body will just excrete anyway
2. Chocolate milk from super-cows that shoot calcium right out of their udders and into your bloodstream

The superior solution is hinted at in the very first sentence of the press release: "The magic formula for the ultimate sports recovery drink starts with cows, runs through the University of Maryland and ends with capitalism."
posted by compartment at 7:55 AM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Krabappel: Who can tell me the atomic weight of bolognium?

Martin: Ooh ... delicious?

Krabappel: Correct. I would also accept snacktacular.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 8:22 AM on January 21, 2016 [3 favorites]

Another sad tale of the Wall-Street-ification of academia, also from Maryland: The Corporate University

And from the comments:

He also earned a master of business administration degree from Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business, in Palo Alto, California.

Mr. Newman has almost 30 years of experience working as an executive with a strong background in private equity, strategy consulting, and operations. He is the former managing director of the private equity fund JP Capital Partners, as well as president and CEO of Cornerstone Management Group, founded in 1997.

During his career he has started or co-founded four different businesses, completed more than $33 billion in transactions, and raised more than $3 billion in equity funding for ventures and bids he originated. He has led several business turnarounds and delivered more than $200 million in profit improvements.

He started his career in consulting working with Bain & Co and LEK Consulting where he managed the media and entertainment practice working with clients such as Warner Bros., Disney, and Universal Studios. He has also worked at Canal + International, Liberty Media and the investment bank, Wasserstein & Perella.

posted by tonycpsu at 8:37 AM on January 21, 2016

If journalists didn't write about the press release, no one would have ever heard about this thing. Hundreds of terrible press releases are published that are never covered. Obviously UMD screwed up but no journalist should have covered it and no editor should have published it.

Full disclosure: have worked with journalists and university press officers for several years.
posted by kat518 at 11:08 AM on January 21, 2016

What blows my mind is that they only had to provide 10% of the funds for the study. They didn't even have to fully buy the scientists.

But they funded 100% of the scientists' chocolate milk supply for the duration of the study! Don't underestimate the power of sweet, sweet chocolate milk. It's much more satisfying than whey protein supplement drinks, even the chalky, deeply unsatisfying "chocolate flavored" nonsense.

(This comment brought to you by Big Chocolate Milk - It's Proven to be 100% Yummy!)
posted by filthy light thief at 11:49 AM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

See also: Why is this article on the BBC? (Ask.Metafilter) Tech reporting and product promotion also have a very cozy relationship, as highlighted by DarlingBri. Except tech journalists churn out a number of articles each day, while research should take a while and have more integrity in its write-up.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:58 AM on January 21, 2016

I'm not going to say who I work for, but this doesn't surprise me in the least - just another day in the end stage of the neoliberalization of the academy.
posted by ryanshepard at 3:59 PM on January 21, 2016