Fake Online Locksmiths, lead gens and Google Maps (nyt)
February 6, 2016 3:09 AM Subscribe
Fake Online Locksmiths A locksmith’s shop on a street in Sun City, Ariz. [...] turned out to be a fiction that was created for the locksmith by a web design firm using Photoshop at what is, in fact, a vacant lot. [via marginal revolution]
It was very late, and it was very cold,” said Anna Pietro, recalling an evening last January when she called Allen Emergency, the nearest locksmith to her home in a Dallas suburb, according to a Google Maps search on her iPhone. “This guy shows up and says he needs to drill my door lock, which will cost $350, about seven times the estimate I’d been given on the phone. And he demanded cash.”
It was very late, and it was very cold,” said Anna Pietro, recalling an evening last January when she called Allen Emergency, the nearest locksmith to her home in a Dallas suburb, according to a Google Maps search on her iPhone. “This guy shows up and says he needs to drill my door lock, which will cost $350, about seven times the estimate I’d been given on the phone. And he demanded cash.”
“Fighting spam is boring,” Mr. Austin said. “The employees who cared didn’t have the political clout in the company. I’d hear Googlers say, ‘Maps is a mess. It’s known at the highest levels, but we don’t talk about it publicly.’”
Doesn't matter, the stock is through the roof.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 3:35 AM on February 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
Doesn't matter, the stock is through the roof.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 3:35 AM on February 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
Wait -- people are uploading pictures of fake sites to Google Maps and it's accepting them as street-view pictures?
posted by Etrigan at 5:14 AM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 5:14 AM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
It's funny, but working on business data for a city planning job the biggest noise in the sample was always fake door guys too. This is like basic stuff you get from D&B since the 80s.
Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis.
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 5:15 AM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis.
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 5:15 AM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
Surely the solution at the consumer level is to use third-party ratings services like Angie's List and the like when hiring service providers? At least then the outright scam artists will be filtered out?
posted by leotrotsky at 5:16 AM on February 6, 2016
posted by leotrotsky at 5:16 AM on February 6, 2016
Surely the solution is to use third-party ratings services like Angie's List and the like when hiring service providers? At least then the outright scam artists will be filtered out?
Then the scammers will set up fake third-party ranking services, with a lot of fake satisfied customers and enough authentic entries to give them an air of versimilitude.
Granted, they'll be like the fake stock-tips newsletters with names like “The Contrarian” that used to appear in spam emails, advising you to buy lots of some obscure gasket manufacturer who are about to get an exclusive contract with Apple and/or become the next Tesla but are still priced at 14c./share, and a lot of people won't be taken in, but it's a numbers game.
posted by acb at 5:20 AM on February 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
Then the scammers will set up fake third-party ranking services, with a lot of fake satisfied customers and enough authentic entries to give them an air of versimilitude.
Granted, they'll be like the fake stock-tips newsletters with names like “The Contrarian” that used to appear in spam emails, advising you to buy lots of some obscure gasket manufacturer who are about to get an exclusive contract with Apple and/or become the next Tesla but are still priced at 14c./share, and a lot of people won't be taken in, but it's a numbers game.
posted by acb at 5:20 AM on February 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
Surely the solution at the consumer level is to use third-party ratings services like Angie's List and the like when hiring service providers? At least then the outright scam artists will be filtered out?
This particular solution seems to rather tilt the whole marketplace in favour of the already-established larger businesses. How exactly does Joe Bloggs who's just finished his apprenticeship as a locksmith (or builder, or gardener, or who wants to start Mechanical Turking or whatever) break into the market now, with no positive feedback? It's not a good solution on a systemic level.
posted by Dysk at 5:28 AM on February 6, 2016 [7 favorites]
This particular solution seems to rather tilt the whole marketplace in favour of the already-established larger businesses. How exactly does Joe Bloggs who's just finished his apprenticeship as a locksmith (or builder, or gardener, or who wants to start Mechanical Turking or whatever) break into the market now, with no positive feedback? It's not a good solution on a systemic level.
posted by Dysk at 5:28 AM on February 6, 2016 [7 favorites]
The last time I needed a locksmith, I actually opened up The Yellow Pages and called two or three listed there and got a reasonable quote and it was all honest and true and on the up-and-up.
Sometimes the old methods work best.
posted by hippybear at 5:34 AM on February 6, 2016 [9 favorites]
Sometimes the old methods work best.
posted by hippybear at 5:34 AM on February 6, 2016 [9 favorites]
Google's unholy nexus of Maps and Places has always been a monkeywrencher's wetdream.
I haven't stepped foot in there lately, but, at one time, you could not only set-up a profile for a non-existent business, you could also set-up a phony entry for an existing business that was not yours. Google's algorithm would blend the competing profiles into a stew of accurate and inaccurate information. And there is no one at Google you can contact to fix it.
Dunno if it's changed.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:42 AM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
I haven't stepped foot in there lately, but, at one time, you could not only set-up a profile for a non-existent business, you could also set-up a phony entry for an existing business that was not yours. Google's algorithm would blend the competing profiles into a stew of accurate and inaccurate information. And there is no one at Google you can contact to fix it.
Dunno if it's changed.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:42 AM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
You go to SEO War with the locksmiths you have, not the locksmiths you might want or wish to have.
posted by blue_beetle at 5:51 AM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by blue_beetle at 5:51 AM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
The last time I needed a locksmith, I actually opened up The Yellow Pages and called two or three listed there and got a reasonable quote and it was all honest and true and on the up-and-up.
I don't even have a Yellow Pages inside my apartment and no clue where to find one outside of it.
posted by srboisvert at 6:11 AM on February 6, 2016 [11 favorites]
I don't even have a Yellow Pages inside my apartment and no clue where to find one outside of it.
posted by srboisvert at 6:11 AM on February 6, 2016 [11 favorites]
Amazing. I had no idea Google Maps could be spoofed this easily (and I say this as someone who addressed non-existent locksmiths before on the blue).
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:29 AM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:29 AM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
I got taken in by one of these in the animal-removal field (skunks under the house! ack!). Angie's List, as something I would have had to pay for, would never have occurred to me in those student days. (And still wouldn't now, honestly).
The thing that appears to be new is the ease with which someone can set up fake businesses in many locales; it gives good return on their effort because it's the same process to set up in Florida as in Vermont.
Whereas someone running a real business wants to, you know, do their business, not play SEO.
posted by nat at 6:31 AM on February 6, 2016
The thing that appears to be new is the ease with which someone can set up fake businesses in many locales; it gives good return on their effort because it's the same process to set up in Florida as in Vermont.
Whereas someone running a real business wants to, you know, do their business, not play SEO.
posted by nat at 6:31 AM on February 6, 2016
Prediction: of the many workarounds that will be suggested here, none will include depending on Bing for a locksmith search.
posted by fredludd at 6:33 AM on February 6, 2016
posted by fredludd at 6:33 AM on February 6, 2016
Prediction: of the many workarounds that will be suggested here, none will include depending on Bing for a locksmith search.
Challenge Accepted! The first five clicks of Bing map generated locksmith shops closest to me are empty commercial real estate I drive by every day. One located on the onramp of the interstate I take to work.
Prediction: CPC at Bing costs these morons only a fraction of AdWords.
posted by hal9k at 6:46 AM on February 6, 2016 [13 favorites]
Challenge Accepted! The first five clicks of Bing map generated locksmith shops closest to me are empty commercial real estate I drive by every day. One located on the onramp of the interstate I take to work.
Prediction: CPC at Bing costs these morons only a fraction of AdWords.
posted by hal9k at 6:46 AM on February 6, 2016 [13 favorites]
How do we know what we know, and why do we trust those we trust?
Well, we have Fox news!
posted by Obscure Reference at 6:50 AM on February 6, 2016
Well, we have Fox news!
posted by Obscure Reference at 6:50 AM on February 6, 2016
"We could not find Gullible People
Make sure your search is spelled correctly.
Try adding a city, state, or zip code.
Click here to add Gullible People to Google Maps."
Tried it in Bing but keeps crashing my browser.
posted by hal9k at 7:04 AM on February 6, 2016
Make sure your search is spelled correctly.
Try adding a city, state, or zip code.
Click here to add Gullible People to Google Maps."
Tried it in Bing but keeps crashing my browser.
posted by hal9k at 7:04 AM on February 6, 2016
After I read this, I googled "Mileaukee locksmith" and then clicked on the first twenty results. If it's really up to $30 per click, hopefully I cost them at least something.
posted by Slinga at 7:08 AM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Slinga at 7:08 AM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
We're being disintermediated. Basically any service business is likely to be a front for this kind of nonsense, and this is becoming de facto business model for many of the actual services you need. "We can't compete with these fake businesses, so we'll just whack on an extra $200 to your bill. We need money too, you know." The areas I've seen this most are car parts/service and appliance parts & service. Unless you know someone reasonably honest who you can go back to, you're handing someone your wallet and saying "help yourself." I used to avoid costs by doing my own car and appliance repairs, but now I'm forced to go to this weird blue-collar underworld where you can't trust anyone, and actual costs are irrational. Thanks, Internet.
posted by sneebler at 7:20 AM on February 6, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by sneebler at 7:20 AM on February 6, 2016 [8 favorites]
and then clicked on the first twenty results
Are you sure you didn't end up gouging some poor guy who's trying to make a legitimate living?
posted by amtho at 7:21 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Are you sure you didn't end up gouging some poor guy who's trying to make a legitimate living?
posted by amtho at 7:21 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is a hilarious example of the World Wide Web being used for the absolute wrong thing.
Most of our lives are spent within 20 miles from home. If you get locked out, call someone! "Hey Aaron, you ever use a locksmith around here? Know anybody who has?"
I am seriously expecting some sort of splinter network to spring up out of the ashes of the corporate machine that the WWW has become. Where personal connections, personal trust, and people you actually know are central mechanisms of how it works.
posted by rebent at 7:25 AM on February 6, 2016 [9 favorites]
Most of our lives are spent within 20 miles from home. If you get locked out, call someone! "Hey Aaron, you ever use a locksmith around here? Know anybody who has?"
I am seriously expecting some sort of splinter network to spring up out of the ashes of the corporate machine that the WWW has become. Where personal connections, personal trust, and people you actually know are central mechanisms of how it works.
posted by rebent at 7:25 AM on February 6, 2016 [9 favorites]
When we bought our house about 8 years ago, I got an Angie's List subscription because I needed to hire electricians and plumbers and had no idea who to call. I had tried getting estimates from local brick and mortar places that I found walking through my neighborhood or talking to neighbors, and they were mostly flakey. But the businesses that I found through Angie's List were excellent, professional and reasonably priced. So there's hope for online listings, but you might have to pay for them.
posted by Drab_Parts at 7:26 AM on February 6, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Drab_Parts at 7:26 AM on February 6, 2016 [7 favorites]
I dealt with one of these companies, and ended up calling the cops when the guy got scary and demanded almost $500 to get in my car, then said he would take me to an atm because he wanted cash. The cops came, used a slim Jim to open my car, and took the number of the guy who ran like a rabbit when he saw cop cars. I tell you what, at this point, I'd be more likely to break a window than call someone I don't know.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 7:27 AM on February 6, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 7:27 AM on February 6, 2016 [5 favorites]
but now I'm forced to go to this weird blue-collar underworld where you can't trust anyone, and actual costs are irrational. Thanks, Internet. Central Services!
Braaaaaziiil
posted by ennui.bz at 7:33 AM on February 6, 2016 [9 favorites]
Braaaaaziiil
posted by ennui.bz at 7:33 AM on February 6, 2016 [9 favorites]
So there's hope for online listings, but you might have to pay for them.
Yay, we've created a new market!
posted by sneebler at 7:34 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yay, we've created a new market!
posted by sneebler at 7:34 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
For the car, this is one reason I have AAA (with the 100 mile towing option.) We travel out of town a lot, and if we need a locksmith or tow, they take care of the "who do we call" part.
posted by azpenguin at 7:35 AM on February 6, 2016 [12 favorites]
posted by azpenguin at 7:35 AM on February 6, 2016 [12 favorites]
for the record, if you want a locksmith in the usa, you use the ALOA (Associated Locksmiths Of America). in particular, they run findalocksmith.com (which you can get to via the green button on the first site).
posted by andrewcooke at 7:40 AM on February 6, 2016 [40 favorites]
posted by andrewcooke at 7:40 AM on February 6, 2016 [40 favorites]
Surely the solution is...
The solution is pretty simple: strong labor protections and enforcement.
If you read the article, it claims that the "locksmiths" are often recent immigrants. They aren't getting wages, they are getting paid by the call, like Uber drivers, with a carrot and stick to push them to extort their customers. This "business" fundamentally can't work without desperate would-be "locksmiths" who will to do what it takes to survive.
It's really easy. But, then we would have strong worker protections and enforcement and how many "legitimate" businesses would go for that?
posted by ennui.bz at 7:45 AM on February 6, 2016 [12 favorites]
The solution is pretty simple: strong labor protections and enforcement.
If you read the article, it claims that the "locksmiths" are often recent immigrants. They aren't getting wages, they are getting paid by the call, like Uber drivers, with a carrot and stick to push them to extort their customers. This "business" fundamentally can't work without desperate would-be "locksmiths" who will to do what it takes to survive.
It's really easy. But, then we would have strong worker protections and enforcement and how many "legitimate" businesses would go for that?
posted by ennui.bz at 7:45 AM on February 6, 2016 [12 favorites]
Yeah, it's a little annoying that I have to pay for Angie's List, but I too will vouch for it. Since we moved into our current house about three years ago, we've had almost every type of service you can think of done, and almost all of the providers are people we've found through Angie's List. They've all been good or great, which is pretty amazing considering my hit rate with service providers in the past. The one thing I will say is that you MUST, MUST, MUST actually read a good number of reviews. Don't just go by the rating. And don't trust providers who only have a small handful of the reviews. Pick the ones who have a lot of good reviews, and read the reviews to make sure they are for the kind of service you're looking for. Look at the dates and make sure they're reasonably fresh (I've seen a few where they seem to be coasting on good reviews from 5 years ago). It's ok if there are a few bad ones in there - almost any company that has a good number of reviews has a few bad ones. But if most people are happy, and they're actually doing the kind of work you need, my experience is that the success rate is very high.
And these Google Maps spammers are scum.
posted by primethyme at 7:46 AM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
And these Google Maps spammers are scum.
posted by primethyme at 7:46 AM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
People can still get Maps to work?
Man.... lucky you.
posted by Mezentian at 7:47 AM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
Man.... lucky you.
posted by Mezentian at 7:47 AM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
Services like Angie's List aren't a panacea, either – in Washington DC, every category I looked at was basically a ghost-town of unrated businesses with a few highly-rated by a very small number of people. My neighborhood happens to have a community-driven free list which is much better but if you don't have something like that it's pretty much Google/Yelp since those actually have enough users.
I feel like there should be room for something which isn't as expensive as Angie's List but at some level this really feels like yet another area where the answer in many cases should be regulation; like the city employing someone to search for locksmiths and checking their license status.
posted by adamsc at 7:47 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I feel like there should be room for something which isn't as expensive as Angie's List but at some level this really feels like yet another area where the answer in many cases should be regulation; like the city employing someone to search for locksmiths and checking their license status.
posted by adamsc at 7:47 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Or, you know, the local council, police and trading standards could work together to create a vetted database of local traders (including, but not limited to, locksmiths).
Most local authorities in the UK have a similar scheme.
posted by Vortisaur at 7:49 AM on February 6, 2016 [8 favorites]
Most local authorities in the UK have a similar scheme.
posted by Vortisaur at 7:49 AM on February 6, 2016 [8 favorites]
Death, taxes, and Google being gamed. The constants of life.
posted by COD at 7:57 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by COD at 7:57 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I naturally turned to Google for a cheaper solution, turns out you can buy unencoded blanks for like 35$, but you still need the dealership to pair it with your car using a new key, or something. Anyway, found a guy online who looked legit from his web presence, called him up and he quoted me $100 if I had the right blank, and told me the right model number. Score! Problem was he was based in Baltimore, 90mins away. No problem, $135 plus half a tank of gas is still less than $300, and screw the dealership at this point, they still wanted $300 even when I asked about supplying my own key.
So a week later, key in hand, I hopped in the car for a road trip. When I showed up at the address, it's a half abandoned strip mall behind the Baltimore ports area, with maybe a Dollar General and a laudromat as the only functioning businesses, definitely no locksmith in it. The guy called me back and said he'd be right there. He showed up in a run down murder-van with no windows, and it's only at this point that I thought maybe I've made a huge mistake. But we're in a lighted area, it's the middle of the day, I don't think he can really kidnap me in broad daylight, he doesn't have my home address where I live over an hour away, let's see where this goes. So, he opens the van, and it's jammed pack with all manner of tools, keys, and mystery electronics. He tells me a story that he had a locksmith store, which burned down, and he's trying to get back on his feet. No idea if that's true, or he's some kind of burglar who does side jobs helping people clone their own car keys, but he pulled out a black Honda encoding box thing, plugged it into the car, took both keys and swapped them back and forth, and boom, 2 working keys, $135 and a weird trip to a strip mall outside the Baltimore ports.
So, I got my car keys reprogrammed by a shady guy I met on the internet, in a van down by the docks. And saved $165.
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:22 AM on February 6, 2016 [54 favorites]
So there's hope for online listings, but you might have to pay for them.
Yeah, it's a little annoying that I have to pay for Angie's List, but I too will vouch for it.
You realize that this is yet another way that having no money means people just can't handle any adversity without it being likely catastrophic, right? Angie's list is sort-of cheap, but not to someone who's budgeting closely, and not if you don't have a credit card (alternative forms of payment are themselves expensive), and not if you've never heard of it.
Ugh. The world is so unfair. Please keep working to make it fairer.
posted by amtho at 8:44 AM on February 6, 2016 [9 favorites]
Yeah, it's a little annoying that I have to pay for Angie's List, but I too will vouch for it.
You realize that this is yet another way that having no money means people just can't handle any adversity without it being likely catastrophic, right? Angie's list is sort-of cheap, but not to someone who's budgeting closely, and not if you don't have a credit card (alternative forms of payment are themselves expensive), and not if you've never heard of it.
Ugh. The world is so unfair. Please keep working to make it fairer.
posted by amtho at 8:44 AM on February 6, 2016 [9 favorites]
The last time I needed a locksmith, I actually opened up The Yellow Pages and called two or three listed there and got a reasonable quote and it was all honest and true and on the up-and-up.
Assuming I had a Yellow Pages, which I don't, if I needed a Locksmith, there's a very good chance it would be on the other side of a locked door from me.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:51 AM on February 6, 2016 [20 favorites]
Assuming I had a Yellow Pages, which I don't, if I needed a Locksmith, there's a very good chance it would be on the other side of a locked door from me.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:51 AM on February 6, 2016 [20 favorites]
We're being disintermediated. Basically any service business is likely to be a front for this kind of nonsense, and this is becoming de facto business model for many of the actual services you need.I actually think that locksmiths are particularly bad, because they're really time-sensitive, and there's a good chance that you need to find a locksmith while you're sitting outside in the weather. For most things, I would ask around for a recommendation, and probably someone I knew would be able to recommend someone from personal experience. Otherwise, I would at least do some research, check with the BBB, etc. For a locksmith, I'm probably going to be googling on my phone as fast as possible.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:07 AM on February 6, 2016 [9 favorites]
Chalk one more up against the ad driven economy.
posted by bobloblaw at 9:12 AM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by bobloblaw at 9:12 AM on February 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
If you're in a pinch and need a locksmith call your local hardware store, not the Home Depot or Lowes, but the locally owned mom and pop or the Ace or TrueValue and ask them. They will be able to refer you out to somebody dependable.
posted by peeedro at 9:15 AM on February 6, 2016 [14 favorites]
posted by peeedro at 9:15 AM on February 6, 2016 [14 favorites]
I got locked out of my house once because the key broke off in the lock when I tried to open it. It was 2 in the morning and I had just gotten home from a 2 week vacation. I used my phone to try and find a 24 hour locksmith, and it was impossible to determine if I was calling a locksmith or some shady service. The guy that ended up coming used one of those inflatable bags to pry the door open to unlock it. Then said it was going to cost $300. I asked why so much, and he said it is based on the type of lock, and he had no control over the price of the repair. I pointed out that he didn't actually fix the lock, so that shouldn't matter. I refused to pay. I offered $150, and told him to talk to his manager if that was a problem. Unsurprisingly, they accepted, but what a scam.
posted by OrangeGloves at 9:23 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by OrangeGloves at 9:23 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Most of our lives are spent within 20 miles from home. If you get locked out, call someone! "Hey Aaron, you ever use a locksmith around here? Know anybody who has?"
Indeed, this is the use case for Twitter-like social media that swayed me to try it out in the early days. When I was still thinking the common "why would I want to know what my friends had for lunch?" I think it was metafilter, actually where someone wrote an interesting case for social media being the new "personalized, subjective" search engine.
The theory is, you only follow/friend people whose opinions you trust. When you have a question where there is no objective factual answer, like finding a trustworthy car mechanic, etc. - you ask your friend network for advice. Since you know these people, you can weight opinions accordingly. So essentially the old-school word of mouth method, but convenient, faster, and wider-net.
posted by ctmf at 10:00 AM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
Indeed, this is the use case for Twitter-like social media that swayed me to try it out in the early days. When I was still thinking the common "why would I want to know what my friends had for lunch?" I think it was metafilter, actually where someone wrote an interesting case for social media being the new "personalized, subjective" search engine.
The theory is, you only follow/friend people whose opinions you trust. When you have a question where there is no objective factual answer, like finding a trustworthy car mechanic, etc. - you ask your friend network for advice. Since you know these people, you can weight opinions accordingly. So essentially the old-school word of mouth method, but convenient, faster, and wider-net.
posted by ctmf at 10:00 AM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
If you're really in a pinch, I'm pretty sure you can call AAA, pay for a membership, and have them send a locksmith (or tow, gas, whatever).
posted by schoolgirl report at 10:24 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by schoolgirl report at 10:24 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
This business model isn't unique to Google or even the internet; l remember back in the 90s reading about a scam where companies would put ads for shell florists in Yellow pages all over the country, with an 800 number. Which would then just use the actual local florists and keep the profit.
posted by tavella at 10:42 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by tavella at 10:42 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
hippybear: "The last time I needed a locksmith, I actually opened up The Yellow Pages and called two or three listed there and got a reasonable quote and it was all honest and true and on the up-and-up.
Sometimes the old methods work best."
Actually, in Madison, there was a front company that basically filled up the yellow pages with a bunch of fronts crowding out the legit locksmiths, this was back in the mid-00s. One of the most popular locksmiths was lamenting this scummy behavior and how it hurt his business.
These shit fucks can rot in hell for all I care. But sadly, I don't know if the Yellow Pages is that good of a solution. Unless I misunderstood the situation and it was online listings, but this was still kinda before online played as big a role as it does now, so I feel like it was actually the physical book.
posted by symbioid at 10:52 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Sometimes the old methods work best."
Actually, in Madison, there was a front company that basically filled up the yellow pages with a bunch of fronts crowding out the legit locksmiths, this was back in the mid-00s. One of the most popular locksmiths was lamenting this scummy behavior and how it hurt his business.
These shit fucks can rot in hell for all I care. But sadly, I don't know if the Yellow Pages is that good of a solution. Unless I misunderstood the situation and it was online listings, but this was still kinda before online played as big a role as it does now, so I feel like it was actually the physical book.
posted by symbioid at 10:52 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
"Who are you and how did you get in here?"
"I'm a locksmith. And I'm a locksmith."
posted by kirkaracha at 11:01 AM on February 6, 2016 [5 favorites]
"I'm a locksmith. And I'm a locksmith."
posted by kirkaracha at 11:01 AM on February 6, 2016 [5 favorites]
All-State has a roadside assistance service and corresponding app, Good Hands Rescue, that anyone can use (not just customers). It has no monthly fee, you pay a flat rate for whatever your car problem is. I've never used it, so I can't vouch for its quality, but I figure it's more likely to get you a real locksmith than a random Google search.
posted by dirigibleman at 11:17 AM on February 6, 2016
posted by dirigibleman at 11:17 AM on February 6, 2016
I had to get radon mitigation done. There was a SEO company that came up as about 90 percent of the links on the first three pages. I called them, and the one other company I could find that wasn't them. The SEO people were ready to quote it on the phone without even looking at the house, and the further I dug into them the more bad reviews I found, and stories about hwo they were changing their name regularly to get away from their past. The other company sent an estimator who answered all my questions. The prices were the same. You can guess who I chose.
But the thing that really pissed me off was that those SEO scumbags then called my cell phone twice a week, forever, trying to convince me to hire them, even after the work was already done. It was a huge project just to get them to go away.
posted by elizilla at 11:51 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
But the thing that really pissed me off was that those SEO scumbags then called my cell phone twice a week, forever, trying to convince me to hire them, even after the work was already done. It was a huge project just to get them to go away.
posted by elizilla at 11:51 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
adamsc: "I feel like there should be room for something which isn't as expensive as Angie's List but at some level this really feels like yet another area where the answer in many cases should be regulation; like the city employing someone to search for locksmiths and checking their license status."
I wonder if this is what happens around here. The first page of Google results for MyCity Locksmiths are all for three legitimate locksmiths (two brick and mortar and one mobile guy who works out of his house).
posted by Mitheral at 11:52 AM on February 6, 2016
I wonder if this is what happens around here. The first page of Google results for MyCity Locksmiths are all for three legitimate locksmiths (two brick and mortar and one mobile guy who works out of his house).
posted by Mitheral at 11:52 AM on February 6, 2016
Oh and I saw the SEO scumbag company's truck pull up recently, outside my neighbor's house. Since they didn't do in-person estimates I assume the neighbor must have hired them. I hope they didn't get ripped off.
posted by elizilla at 11:53 AM on February 6, 2016
posted by elizilla at 11:53 AM on February 6, 2016
This reminds me that a while back I started fooling with learning how to pick locks. I should get one of those little credit cards that breaks apart into a set of picks for that occasional time this skill is needed.
posted by egypturnash at 12:03 PM on February 6, 2016
posted by egypturnash at 12:03 PM on February 6, 2016
So, I got my car keys reprogrammed by a shady guy I met on the internet, in a van down by the docks. And saved $165.
There's a guy who does this in the Milwaukee area! Great prices, great service, and it sounds completely sketchy whenever you describe it (he met my friend at a locked car when the keys were lost, then unlocked the car and programmed two new electronic keys with no proof of ownership), but you'd better believe I'll be calling him if I ever need a locksmith.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 12:25 PM on February 6, 2016
There's a guy who does this in the Milwaukee area! Great prices, great service, and it sounds completely sketchy whenever you describe it (he met my friend at a locked car when the keys were lost, then unlocked the car and programmed two new electronic keys with no proof of ownership), but you'd better believe I'll be calling him if I ever need a locksmith.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 12:25 PM on February 6, 2016
Our neighbourhood facebook group is pretty good for getting quick referrals without paying a membership. I've actually never seen anyone ask for locksmiths on there yet, but things like laundry machine repairmen and drain unblockers and cleaners and movers for sure.
posted by jamesonandwater at 3:31 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by jamesonandwater at 3:31 PM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Our neighbors are always trading contractor's names back and forth. Half of the conversations on both Nextdoor and the local Facebook groups seem to be about recommending painters and plumbers and such. All the houses around here are 150 years old so they always need something.
posted by octothorpe at 4:09 PM on February 6, 2016
posted by octothorpe at 4:09 PM on February 6, 2016
I once walked up on someone I knew from the neighborhood waiting for a locksmith for the Nth time, and he was forever locking his keys inside his office/studio space.
It was taking the locksmith forever to show up because it was during Seattle's Pride Parade and traffic was pretty much wrecked all over the city.
I ran home to go get some homemade picks I made out of street sweeper bristles, and I'm not terribly good at lock picking but I knew his lock was a totally worn out crappy old schlage.
I got back to his door just as the "locksmith" was pulling up, and of course the price was way higher than quoted and he was just going to drill out the lock and charge even more for some crappy new lock.
I picked it in about 20 seconds not just as the shady locksmith watched furiously. but also a bemused policewoman posted nearby due to parade and crowds.
After that I had a steady side business of getting that guy back into his place.
posted by loquacious at 4:58 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
It was taking the locksmith forever to show up because it was during Seattle's Pride Parade and traffic was pretty much wrecked all over the city.
I ran home to go get some homemade picks I made out of street sweeper bristles, and I'm not terribly good at lock picking but I knew his lock was a totally worn out crappy old schlage.
I got back to his door just as the "locksmith" was pulling up, and of course the price was way higher than quoted and he was just going to drill out the lock and charge even more for some crappy new lock.
I picked it in about 20 seconds not just as the shady locksmith watched furiously. but also a bemused policewoman posted nearby due to parade and crowds.
After that I had a steady side business of getting that guy back into his place.
posted by loquacious at 4:58 PM on February 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
I just keep extra house keys in the garage and the garage door is openable using a keypad. It's saved me quite a few times when I managed to lock myself out of the house.
posted by octothorpe at 5:07 PM on February 6, 2016
posted by octothorpe at 5:07 PM on February 6, 2016
We got this Schlage keypad deadbolt, and never looked back. Not only is it super convenient, but I never have to worry about my kids locking themselves out or coming back early from school. Now it's extra enjoyable because f*ck you, Lead Gen Industry!
posted by sneebler at 5:32 PM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by sneebler at 5:32 PM on February 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
I occasionally do work for a guy who does lead gen websites in a similar vein, but much more obscure. As best I can tell, there is nothing inherently shady about the way he does business (his commission is much lower and he doesn't insert himself in the transaction beyond collecting his commission), but I can definitely see the open avenues for abuse should he decide to go that way in the future.
As it is, the service is at least somewhat useful since he requires that his contractors at least be competent in their field and he makes as much money on the display ads contractors buy on his sites as he does the referral commissions. Plus they have some somewhat useful information about the service being provided and how to make sure you aren't getting ripped off.
Thankfully, it doesn't involve Google bombing Maps at all. If it did, I don't think I could bring myself to take his money. It does involve several thousand "local" domains, but that isn't inherently shady, in my view.
posted by wierdo at 10:24 PM on February 6, 2016
As it is, the service is at least somewhat useful since he requires that his contractors at least be competent in their field and he makes as much money on the display ads contractors buy on his sites as he does the referral commissions. Plus they have some somewhat useful information about the service being provided and how to make sure you aren't getting ripped off.
Thankfully, it doesn't involve Google bombing Maps at all. If it did, I don't think I could bring myself to take his money. It does involve several thousand "local" domains, but that isn't inherently shady, in my view.
posted by wierdo at 10:24 PM on February 6, 2016
I found that it is usually cheaper and faster to break a pane of glass at my house than call a locksmith. My ex was locked out of our house with the baby sleeping and the toddlers napping when she ran out to the car to get something or other. She had no patience or tolerance for waiting. She just broke a window, reached in an opened the frame and climbed in. I think it cost me around $80 to get it fixed later that day.
posted by AugustWest at 7:08 AM on February 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by AugustWest at 7:08 AM on February 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Unless you're a racial minority, in which case you have to factor in the possibility that you could be killed in the resulting misunderstanding with the police.
posted by ctmf at 9:14 AM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by ctmf at 9:14 AM on February 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
My favorite part of the piece is when the boy scout got fired from his unpaid job. More than once I have googled a local business that has a website by name and the relevant result doesn't appear till several pages down. Google may have brainiacs working for it and difficult probles to solve but the fact that it has become the defacto authority on what the world is seems emblematic of the continuing crappification of one area of the world, hopefully offset by improvements in another.
posted by Pembquist at 10:15 AM on February 7, 2016
posted by Pembquist at 10:15 AM on February 7, 2016
All the 'locksmiths' names in the phone book begin with A or AA or AAA or 24/7 to keep them at the front of the listings. I called each one. The same voice answered. Yup. When he showed up, he pulled up in a dirty van and was probably the shadiest dude I've ever met. Used a device called a 'lockpick gun' (which costs about $50 with tax+shipping).
Assholes, the lot of 'em.
Advice:
It is cheaper to break a window and replace that instead of calling the locksmith.
Hide a key somewhere walking distance from your house.
Get to know your local locksmith, from their physical storefront if there are any.
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 10:32 AM on February 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Assholes, the lot of 'em.
Advice:
It is cheaper to break a window and replace that instead of calling the locksmith.
Hide a key somewhere walking distance from your house.
Get to know your local locksmith, from their physical storefront if there are any.
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 10:32 AM on February 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
The window glass in my house is 150 years old, I'd rather you steal my TV than break my window. But yeah, that's why I hide a key.
posted by octothorpe at 6:54 PM on February 7, 2016
posted by octothorpe at 6:54 PM on February 7, 2016
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posted by oheso at 3:29 AM on February 6, 2016