Cooler than me?

February 11, 2016 11:51 AM

What I’ve Learned by Going from College Student to Class B Celebrity to Nobody to Kinda Sorta Getting Famous Again…
posted by capnsue (66 comments total)

Hey, I remember Mike Posner!

That's all I got.

I always thought "Please Don't Go" was a better song than "Cooler Than Me..."
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:57 AM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Don't know the man, but it takes a certain amount of guts and self awareness to reinvent yourself at such a young age. Good for him for not stagnating or becoming too full of himself.
posted by AugustWest at 12:22 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

I feel like I just read an ad. I feel this way often when reading crap on medium, but not this acutely.
posted by blue t-shirt at 12:35 PM on February 11, 2016 [53 favorites]

Put that man on psychedelics. The thing I fear about this is that going back up again so quickly is just teaching his brain to expect gratification, despite his efforts to be humble and introspective. There is something about people talking about humbling themselves that can be grating. If you're humble don't talk about it. If you're promoting, do that. The in-between is where it gets annoying. I wish him well, though.
posted by limeonaire at 12:43 PM on February 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

Call me a terrible arse - really, do, it's OK - but I bailed at around "poet" lest I sick on myself something horrible.
posted by ominous_paws at 12:44 PM on February 11, 2016 [17 favorites]

Put that man on psychedelics.

There is literally a picture of the dude at Burning Man in the article.
posted by brennen at 12:49 PM on February 11, 2016 [10 favorites]

Mefi, you made me pay brief attention to a conceited, talentless dick. Thanks for the sour persimmons, I guess.
posted by Segundus at 12:54 PM on February 11, 2016 [16 favorites]

I was going to go with "unaware of his privilege" but thought I might sound mean and cynical. However, following "conceited, talentless dick," I probably sound okay.
posted by crazylegs at 1:01 PM on February 11, 2016 [15 favorites]

I'm glad I held off on my comment because it meant I could favorite comments in this thread that much harder.
posted by kittensofthenight at 1:01 PM on February 11, 2016 [8 favorites]

I feel like I just read an ad. I feel this way often when reading crap on medium, but not this acutely.

I feel like there was a dude who said a thing about media which applies in this context
posted by Jon Mitchell at 1:05 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

What I Learned From Clicking A Link In 7 Broken Image Links

1. nope.gif
2. byefelicia.org.jpg
3. alreadyboredofthis.tbh
4. frinkiac.com
5. blackholesunscream.jpeg
6. wasps
7. coreyhart.rickroll
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:05 PM on February 11, 2016 [9 favorites]

My favorite part of this essay is when he helpfully informed us what time of day he urinates/defecates.
posted by muddgirl at 1:07 PM on February 11, 2016 [17 favorites]

I do think I'm cooler than him.
posted by josher71 at 1:10 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Put that man on psychedelics.

There is literally a picture of the dude at Burning Man in the article.

True. But that's no guarantee...

Maybe he should read this post a few down.
posted by limeonaire at 1:12 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Suddenly I feel like I need some kind of... moisturizing machine?
posted by selfnoise at 1:13 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

No, dude wrote Sugar, the third or fourth most annoying pop hit of 2015. That's gotta count for something.

I want that red velvet / I want that sugar sweet / don't let nobody touch it / unless that somebody's me
posted by uncleozzy at 1:15 PM on February 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

I like this guy. I like his music. I like his honesty here. Go him.
posted by wemayfreeze at 1:17 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Reminds me of this guy.
posted by sevenofspades at 1:17 PM on February 11, 2016

I like this guy. I like his music. I like his honesty here. Go him.

Scott?
posted by The Bellman at 1:33 PM on February 11, 2016 [9 favorites]

1. Wakeup 1.5 hours before you need to be in the lobby.

I don't have a lobby. :(

2. Drink a thousand bottles of water. :)

Bad idea.

3. Defecate/Urinate — Put gym clothes on

Am I supposed to take my pyjamas off first? SO CONFUSED

4. Brush Teeth

OK.

5. Wash Face (I always wash face after I brush teeth. If I brush after washing my face, I have to re-wash my face to get the leftover toothpaste off)

does he get toothpaste in his eyebrows or something i can't even

6. Meditate 20 minutes

Reasonable, esp. if done in GYM CLOTHES

7. Use Personal Humidifer for 5 minutes. These things are GREAT for singers.

This is like WASH FACE again ! !!

8. Go to the gym and execute a HIIT workout.

Workouts everywhere must fear Mike Posner lest they be executed

9. End workout 20 min before lobby call.

This is awfully specific for general life advice.

10. COLD SHOWER — this is my favorite feeling in the world after a workout…gives a natural high…I also know that if I can calm my breathing in a cold shower, I can be calm anywhere.

Yeah but what if the shower were filled with snakes

11. Comb hair and dress.

LOL he combs his dress plus I have no hair to comb

12. Go to lobby and don’t be late. If you want everyone that works for you to be on time, you sure as hell better be on time yourself. We at “Team Pose” pride ourselves in our punctuality…that all goes to hell if I start showing up late for stuff….so I don’t.name your organization "Team Pose."

FTFY

13. Do vocal warmups in the car.

I've tried doing that on the subway, no bueno.

14. Have fun.

I'd be having a blast if I didn't have to keep combing this goddamn dress
posted by grumpybear69 at 2:04 PM on February 11, 2016 [34 favorites]

He doesn't (or didn't) know how to play guitar or piano, but he "paid the bills" by writing songs for Justin Bieber and Maroon 5? I'll take that job!
posted by Clustercuss at 2:05 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Why did I read that?

Anyway at first I thought it was a tale of someone losing their fame, but before reading I looked him up on Spotify and saw he's the 56th most listened to artist in the world on that platform. He's huge!
posted by cell divide at 2:06 PM on February 11, 2016

i used to be with "it," but then they changed what "it" was. now what i'm with isn't "it," and i'm completely okay with that.
posted by entropicamericana at 2:20 PM on February 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

Oh man, "Sugar" is so terrible, plus I think it rips off "Beat It" in an annoying way. When I got to that part I gave up.
posted by PandaMomentum at 2:21 PM on February 11, 2016

When rich, privileged, connected people with more opportunities in their smart-phone contact list than I will ever have in my life start talking about waking up in the morning to meditate before a "grueling day" of collaborating with other rich, connected people in fancy creative offices all over the world I want to fucking destroy the room I am sitting in and burn it all down. After reading that I genuinely want this person to experience tragedy, but realize that despite what he thinks he is too well-insulated against it for that to ever be his reality.
posted by jnnla at 2:38 PM on February 11, 2016 [18 favorites]

Is this non-fiction?
posted by Faint of Butt at 2:43 PM on February 11, 2016

I never thought "don't read the comments" would apply to a Metafilter thread, but here we are.
posted by incessant at 2:54 PM on February 11, 2016 [26 favorites]

Scott?
posted by ominous_paws at 3:00 PM on February 11, 2016 [7 favorites]

WHERE I AM: British Airways Flight 269 London to Los Angeles
WHAT I’M LISTENING TO: Jack Garratt — Worry

Isn't Arlo Guthrie required listening on that flight?
posted by TedW at 3:04 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

After reading that I genuinely want this person to experience tragedy

I don't. Isn't that a bit awful?
posted by Sebmojo at 3:04 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Scott?

Okay, this thread has got me snickering in spite of myself. Well-played, everyone.
posted by Existential Dread at 3:08 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

He looked like a total fucking tool so then he got a makeover to look like another brand of total fucking tool.

I thought he looked kind of cute after the make over, white boy scowl and all. And I should have just stuck with the picture, 'cause I could not stand the essay. What he "learned" seemed to be that he's the coolest guy ever. I didn't find it very introspective at all.
posted by kanewai at 3:08 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

After reading that I genuinely want this person to experience tragedy

I don't. Isn't that a bit awful?

Yeah, it is. Someone being more fortunate than you is not reason enough to wish them harm, even if they are bloviating about it on the internet.
posted by grumpybear69 at 3:09 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

I wrote songs for others to pay the bills (Justin Bieber — Boyfriend, Maroon 5 — Sugar and more), but mostly focused on learning piano from my mentor Norman Henry Mamey. I also learned to play the guitar (though I’m still a novice). I improved my vocals with the help of Dave Stroud and Valerie Morehouse. I enrolled in some online music classes at Berklee School of Music, where most of the students were more talented I was (ego check anyone?). I even bought a van, donated all my clothes and Jordans, and vagabonded around the US for five months.

Just by coincidence, a friend of mine just rolled through town celebrating, not 5 months, but 10 years of being on the road touring (6 of them successful!). In the meantime she did not have to learn to play the guitar or piano, because she already knew how to do that when she went to Berkelee and graduated with a degree in sound engineering which she used to help write and produce other people's music to support her own work. Along the way, she's also learned many things about life, herself, and how the two fit together.

And yet, despite her voluminous talents and diverse experiences, she has somehow managed to avoid being a navel-gazing douche-canoe. I wonder what this guy's secret is.
posted by Panjandrum at 3:12 PM on February 11, 2016 [7 favorites]

After reading that I genuinely want this person to experience tragedy

I don't. Isn't that a bit awful?

Yeah, it is. Someone being more fortunate than you is not reason enough to wish them harm, even if they are bloviating about it on the internet.

Yeah, so that was a little hyperbolic. This article just really rubbed me the wrong way.
posted by jnnla at 3:13 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Isn't that a bit awful?

It is! At the same time, I feel like a bunch of folks, including myself, have read the linked piece and are wondering why it was linked.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 3:18 PM on February 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

Actually one hit wonder to songwriter for established major label artists back to solo artist with hit global remixes is a pretty awesome career track. Next: Eurovision! Someone has to write those crap songs so Metafilter can discuss them every year!

As for the question about his musicianship, I bet he had functional piano and guitar and skills with a DAW/sequencer/synth, now he is getting 'serious' about playing guitar and piano rather than using them as songwriting tools.
posted by kittensofthenight at 3:20 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Well, this guy is, what, 28 years old? One would hope he'd have a little better perspective at this point, but he is a privileged white male who achieved early success/money/fame, and now he's gonna tell us about it. An essay entitled "What I've Learned" when he obviously hasn't learned anything interesting is bound to be extremely grating, particularly to those of us who've actually had life experiences that have been, perhaps, not great.

Also, this is a guy who apparently wrote a song entitled "Bow Chicka Wow Wow." That alone should tell you what you're in for.
posted by Existential Dread at 3:21 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Last week’s schedule was filled with fittings (I donated all my clothes remember…i needed new ones)

Oh yes. We remember.
posted by crazylegs at 3:35 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

His schedule kinda reads like the sequence in one of the James Bond novels where he trains for an essential mission by limiting smokes to a pack a day, swimming in the ocean, running on the beach, eating scrambled eggs for breakfast and fresh fruit and fish for dinner, and only a few cocktails a night.
posted by kittensofthenight at 3:46 PM on February 11, 2016 [10 favorites]

Isn't that a bit awful?

It is! At the same time, I feel like a bunch of folks, including myself, have read the linked piece and are wondering why it was linked

Gee, I wonder why people are afraid to post to the front page.
posted by Think_Long at 3:54 PM on February 11, 2016 [6 favorites]

Remember this thread the next time y'all make fun of YouTube commenters.
posted by sidereal at 3:56 PM on February 11, 2016 [12 favorites]

His schedule kinda reads like the sequence in one of the James Bond novels

Yeah, later he swims to Dr. No's island and plays a dope 5 song set.
posted by valkane at 4:03 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

4. Calibrate laser cannons

5. Brief henchmen

6. Conference call with Ernst Stavro Blofeld

7. Defecate
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:21 PM on February 11, 2016 [11 favorites]

Bond played an extended run in the major mode, eschewing the weak *racist adjective* overtones of melodic minor, his right hand keeping time directly with the beat, avoiding the *sexist adjective* impulse to 'swing', as the local *racist adjective* combo played on, in awe of his combed hair and dress.
posted by kittensofthenight at 4:22 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

Bond also prefers multiple cold showers daily and is always washing his face in his hotel room until 30 mins to lobby call.
posted by kittensofthenight at 4:23 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

I liked "Cooler Than Me." I strongly associate it with a time in my life that I spent a lot of nights on the roof of a kind of terrible bar and really enjoyed myself.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 4:59 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

"Hi, I did a popular song once but then didn't do another popular song so people started treating me like a normal person and that made me sad. But! Then I wrote some songs about how being normal was lame and now people aren't treating me normal so much! Anyway, here's some weirdly specific information about my life so you can, uh, copy it and stop being normal too? I guess?"
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:28 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

this is a guy who apparently wrote a song entitled "Bow Chicka Wow Wow." That alone should tell you what you're in for.

He fixes the cable?
posted by octobersurprise at 6:37 PM on February 11, 2016 [8 favorites]

You don't wanna defecate before you talk to Blofeld


Somehow he knows and he doesn't like it
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 6:54 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

I've never heard of this guy or any of his songs but I'm loving this thread.
posted by octothorpe at 6:57 PM on February 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

Hey, he might be getting it wrong but at least he's trying.
posted by ashbury at 8:48 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

This guy uses the word "dope" without a hint of irony. I didn't know you could still do that!
posted by borges at 9:06 PM on February 11, 2016

I think it's not "still" - you can do it again. If you are a young person. I am told that it's time for phat pants again, as well.
posted by BrunoLatourFanclub at 9:54 PM on February 11, 2016

I'm sorry, but I just listened to that song that apparently made him young, rich, and sort of pretentious famous, and I just don't get it. I mean, how can you write something like that, when this song already exists?
posted by mtVessel at 10:39 PM on February 11, 2016

Can one of the drive-byers who have (somewhat smarmily, imo) compared the comments here to YouTube comments come back in and flesh this out a bit? I mean, it seems unfair, the comments here are coherently written and pretty funny! Not everything mean is like YouTube comments! Maybe *your* negative comment is like a YouTube comment, huh?
posted by ominous_paws at 11:05 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

I don't actually want something horrible to happen to him but I would actually like something metaphorically horrible to happen to this article, because it's horrible.
posted by h00py at 4:34 AM on February 12, 2016 [3 favorites]

So this article is a mess and makes me like him less than I did (not that I'd given it much thought), but I didn't know he wrote I Took a Pill in Ibiza. That song seriously lights up something in my head. I love it when it comes on my workout mix.

And y'all are seriously harsh. He sounds like any number of party bros I know, except he seems to get there's more to life out there than all night raves and chasing the next moment. Hopefully some of this introspection he seems to think he's doing will catch on to how he's sounding and let him reevaluate a little.
posted by This Guy at 5:15 AM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

No, dude wrote Sugar, the third or fourth most annoying pop hit of 2015 all fucking time seriously Satan will be cueing it up right as the demons drop me through the hatch marked Hell
posted by billiebee at 6:25 AM on February 12, 2016

I mean, how can you write something like that, when this song already exists?

Because they have nothing in common, apart from two words in their titles?
posted by Shmuel510 at 6:38 AM on February 12, 2016

I have no problem with party bros - they usually don't publish thousand-word essays on every facet of their boring lives. That's not introspection, it's narcissism.
posted by muddgirl at 6:43 AM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

My schedule looked like this:

5:30am Wakeup and workout and meditate

7am — 3pm Interviews with Radio and Press with some acoustic performances sprinkled in.

I'm disappointed. After a start like that I was expecting a Moon Juice cleanse.
posted by kanewai at 8:59 AM on February 12, 2016

Was hoping for a little more insight, have someone in the proposed situation (in/famous about ten years back, fell to obscurity, now gaining again) and would love to pass on some articles etc on growing up gracefully and avoiding old patterns.
posted by Iteki at 12:10 PM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

It is a real wtf, 2016 moment to listen to a song called "I Took A Pill In Ibiza" and discover that it sounds like... Train. Almost as wtf as learning that Train song was actually supposed to be about Burning Man.
posted by en forme de poire at 1:57 PM on February 12, 2016

(The remix is a little closer to what I was expecting but that feels like cheating.)
posted by en forme de poire at 2:00 PM on February 12, 2016

it takes a certain amount of guts and self awareness to reinvent yourself at such a young age.

He's 28. By that age, Dylan had run through an industry-transforming folk career and "gone electric;"John Lennon had completed the final Beatles tour, divorced his first wife and married Yoko Ono; Bruce Springsteen had bounced back from two failed albums to release Born to Run and appear on the covers of Time and Newsweek in the same week, and Eric Clapton had migrated through the Yardbirds, the Blues Breakers, Cream, and Blind Faith and kicked off his solo career. And that's just the big white guys. I am comfortable not overpraising this fellow's self-awareness and reinvention at his decidedly adult age.
posted by Miko at 8:13 PM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]