Heliciculture
February 12, 2016 1:17 PM   Subscribe

Why I had to become a snail farmer According to a site dedicated to looking at France through data, Snails production in France is limited to 191 farms. Don't miss all the gory details of snail farming.

I know: Pics or it didn't happen.
posted by Michele in California (29 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
There's a vanilla farm on the big island in Hawaii but they don't really farm enough vanilla to qualify as a farm and they're in an agricultural area... so they raise cows as well. Basically to meet zoning requirements. Not quite as exotic as snails for a chambre d’hôtes. It's good vanilla though.
posted by GuyZero at 1:26 PM on February 12, 2016 [3 favorites]


so the average snail farm produces 5 tons of snails annualy. what is that? a million snails each farm? ewww.
posted by andrewcooke at 1:27 PM on February 12, 2016


250,000-500,000 snails if my estimates are right.

Ewww.
posted by wanderingmind at 1:30 PM on February 12, 2016


If you prefer wild snails, as does my feline garden snail snacker, the French term for hunting them is escargolade.

Allons faire une escargolade ce week-end.
posted by fraula at 1:33 PM on February 12, 2016 [14 favorites]


the less snails, the larger each one is. i am not sure it helps. :(
posted by andrewcooke at 1:34 PM on February 12, 2016


Concerning exports, they remain low and are mostly directed to common France partners like Germany, Italy or Spain.

Know I know where the escar...go.

*rimshot*

So what's the deal with snails? They're the original slow food, amirite?

*Uncomfortable silence. Somewhere in the back of the theatre someone clears their throat*
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:36 PM on February 12, 2016 [8 favorites]


escargolade

Sounds like an SUV with extremely poor acceleration.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:37 PM on February 12, 2016 [24 favorites]


This FPP was inspired by this Ask: postapocalypse insect farming I couldn't name any post apocalyptic fiction that features insect farming, but I am an environmental studies major and, in one of my classes, there was some exercise where we calculated how long you could live on the land given X scenario and, in a nutshell, the answer was "If you ate stuff like crickets and frogs, instead of stuff like fish and rabbits, you would survive a lot longer (in that the amount of available protein would be vastly more by an order of magnitude or something like that)."

Thus, I have been aware for some years that, ultimately, calories humans consume originate in the sun and the further up the food chain you go, the more sunlight it takes to produce the same amount of calories or protein or whatever. For that and other reasons, it is more sustainable (and generally better for your health) to eat lower on the food chain. And that doesn't necessarily mean you have to be a vegan or even a vegetarian. You can just be a snobby fan of gourmet French cooking and eat escargot and frogs legs.

I saw that Ask and I was all "Ooh! Ooh! We already do that -- at least., THE FRENCH DO!" and I figured it would get deleted for Not Answering The Question.

So, here we are.

I have had escargot once. I am not a fan. When the apocalypse comes, I am going to starve to death rather than eat French Gourmet food.
posted by Michele in California at 1:47 PM on February 12, 2016 [7 favorites]


Tangentially related story: My son has a snail toy where the shell is composed of a series of stackable rainbow shapes. He invented a game where he removes the shell, and then the snail can suddenly go really fast cause it doesn't have a big heavy house to carry around. This is fun because it allows him to run around the house (running around the house is the secret to fun, apparently, if you are 3). I was going along with it until I remembered that slugs are pretty slow, too, and they are basically a snail without a shell. After a moment's though I chose not to correct him, because I don't think he would have wanted me to ruin his game just to remind him that slugs can't zoom around and snails can't even take their shells off without dying, anyways.
posted by cubby at 1:59 PM on February 12, 2016 [5 favorites]


Allons faire une escargolade ce week-end.

You look for snails after it rains. It's a bit difficult to schedule on advance.

I mean, I did it a few times when I was a kid on summer holidays in the mountains. You pick snails, you leave them in a mesh bag for some days so they purge their stomaches, you make this out of them.
posted by sukeban at 1:59 PM on February 12, 2016


To be honest the fun was picking snails. I'm not a fan of them as food, either.
posted by sukeban at 2:02 PM on February 12, 2016


I have snails and enjoyed them but I'm pretty sure that's because they where served with roughly a head of garlic each and a small lake of butter.
posted by The Whelk at 2:06 PM on February 12, 2016 [7 favorites]


The specially trained herding dogs are hard to come by.
posted by sourwookie at 2:10 PM on February 12, 2016 [2 favorites]


Palatability is all about marketing. We could call them "Log Clams". And crickets could be packaged as "Yard Shrimp". Mealworms? "Chicken Of The Peat".
posted by sourwookie at 2:13 PM on February 12, 2016 [10 favorites]


Land oysters!
posted by The Whelk at 2:17 PM on February 12, 2016 [5 favorites]


I had a couple pet snails named Vardamus and Clementine that my animal-loving girlfriend rescued from a rain puddle. The most interesting thing I learned was how loud they eat. The little toothless boogers chomping through a leaf of lettuce sounded like an adult human chewing with their mouth open. Other than that, pretty boring pets.
posted by Anoplura at 2:19 PM on February 12, 2016 [5 favorites]


Wall fish.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 2:43 PM on February 12, 2016 [2 favorites]


Snails (in escargot form) are merely parsley-garlic butter conveyance devices. They are delicious, because: garlic butter! Much the same way shrimp are a convenient way to not look like a total idiot chowing down on just cocktail sauce.

I'm only slightly disappointed the farms don't look like a scene from Delicatessen.
posted by combinatorial explosion at 3:00 PM on February 12, 2016


I have had escargot once.

As did I, in high school; they were quite good, but for the reason specified by other posters (i.e., they were drowned in butter).
posted by thomas j wise at 3:07 PM on February 12, 2016


Snails (in escargot form) are merely parsley-garlic butter conveyance devices. They are delicious, because: garlic butter! Much the same way shrimp are a convenient way to not look like a total idiot chowing down on just cocktail sauce.

In a story that is now legendary in my family, a friend of my parents who wasn't the most...experienced cook tried to impress her guests with esgargot. It was fine - the only hitch was that she thought "clove" meant "bulb."

Hilarity ensues when they're served. Fortunately, my parents are deeply fond of garlic.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:14 PM on February 12, 2016 [2 favorites]


I haven't learned much new on MF for a very long time, but....this is new to me (snail farms, who would've thunk?) Coolest concept ever, so thanks for posting this Michele.

The idea of a snail farm intrigued me, so I just wanted to find a bit more info as to what they looked like, so I used my googlefu, and am sharing here in case others find this interesting, too.

Okay, there are snail farms in Kenya (YT video).

Also found a fascinating article, pictures of snail ranch, and streamed interview here, about a snail ranch and rancher in Washington.

Some interesting tidbits from the article....

Brewer quit his day job, persuaded his mother’s friends to donate the snails that were the bane of their herbaceous borders, and founded one of the only snail farms in America.

Remember this idea for "what career next" ask meta questions....

..adapting them to Washington State hasn’t been easy. “You find out just how many things love snails,” Brewer said. Earlier this year, he lost a good chunk of his stock to mice, which got into his greenhouse and “feasted on them like you would popcorn at the movies.”

Another summary of the article with the interview of the snail rancher from Washington includes the history of snail gardening, herding, etc. :

Thousands of years later, the Romans enjoyed their snails fattened on milk, while monks in medieval Europe kept snail gardens, as the snails, neither fish nor meat according to the Catholic church, could be eaten during Lent.

posted by Wolfster at 3:21 PM on February 12, 2016 [3 favorites]


a snail ranch and rancher

Yeehaw! I am imagining little frogs in vests, boots and Stesons, ropin' and a-ridin'.
True to form, snail rustling is an issue.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 3:37 PM on February 12, 2016 [4 favorites]


I have had escargot a few times and thought it was tasty - garlic and butter tasty overwhelming the small chewy bit. And since escargot was ok I ordered a different French dish featuring snails - a puff pastry item with plain blackish snails embedded in it. The puff pastry was tasty. The snails now in full snail glory were horrible. Rubbery and chewy and tasting like a combination of dirt and manure. (Both by association with smell. ) Garlic and butter in high proportion to snail are a requirement.
posted by njohnson23 at 4:14 PM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


The Wikipedia article is also surprisingly good, if you just can't get enough of this today.
posted by Michele in California at 4:39 PM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


snail rustling is an issue.

Twists AND turns.
posted by sneebler at 6:34 PM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


The specially trained herding dogs are hard to come by.

Wouldn't specially trained tortoises be more appropriate?

I have snails all over the place where I live, and I like escargot, so I once looked into what was involved in raising snails. I figured I could obtain breeding stock somehow, toss them in a box outside with vegetables that had wilted in the fridge, and whenever I wanted something with a continental flair, just grab some of them, toss them in a pan with a bunch of butter and garlic, and there you go. I mean they're just snails, right? How hard could it be? I quickly discovered that there is a lot more to heliculture than I expected, and I never even got to the part about needing little electric fences to keep them in. And so another hare-brained idea of mine died a quick and merciful death. Which reminds me; I wonder where I can get Flemish Giants around here? My yard has plenty of room for an oversized hutch.
posted by TedW at 6:35 PM on February 12, 2016


How about some snail caviar?
posted by ymgve at 6:42 PM on February 12, 2016


Setting up the business involved laying our a snail park, including electric fencing to stop the snails escaping. “You put up a kind of tarpaulin with electric wires woven into it around the top. Their antennae are sensitive to electricity, so if they start going up, they stop and come down again.

The electric fence thing is amazing.

There are alot of things in the FPP and other links that just lend themselves to great usernames or, failing that...

Band names:

Snail Ranch

Snail Hutch

The Flemish Giants

Debut novel from promising young writer:

Snail Farming in Kenya
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:44 AM on February 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


Snail!
posted by homunculus at 6:31 PM on February 21, 2016


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