how many hot dogs should i eat within a given week
March 7, 2016 7:13 AM   Subscribe

 
Wet Nightmare is my new band name.
posted by snofoam at 7:15 AM on March 7, 2016


when will it end

As Homer Simpson would say, NEVER!
posted by sapagan at 7:18 AM on March 7, 2016


Wet Nightmare is my new band name.

You should invite Poob to be your opening act.
posted by sexyrobot at 7:29 AM on March 7, 2016


what even is hollandaise sauce
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:32 AM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


How many nipples would a centaur have

That's a perfectly reasonable question! Do we assume that the horse half and the human half are both entirely anatomically correct?

More thought provoking still is what's going on with internal organs. Does only one half get a heart, with the other half being either solid meat or partly hollow? Or do both halves get their own full complement of organs, in which case, how does that circulatory system work?
posted by Dext at 7:35 AM on March 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


pixar lamp hentai

Surely we live in the End of Days
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:35 AM on March 7, 2016 [14 favorites]


There used to be a scroll of actual live Google searches in the lobby at the Google office. Biased towards "interesting" searches, so that you saw something other than a constant stream of people searching for "Yahoo" and "AOL" and the like. Also with a remarkably complex filter trying to remove the porn-ish queries, a neverending problem.
posted by Nelson at 7:36 AM on March 7, 2016


one.
posted by yeolcoatl at 7:36 AM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Couldn't help noticing that these two appeared consecutively;

constipated for 4 days

when will it end
posted by Paul Slade at 7:40 AM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


worm disco
posted by rodlymight at 7:43 AM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


pixar lamp hentai

Seriously, Rule 34? NO exceptions?
posted by The Bellman at 7:44 AM on March 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


will i ever attain my goals

I laughed at this and wondered what answer Google would return and the I discovered that I am too terrified to ask it myself.
posted by beerperson at 7:44 AM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]



More thought provoking still is what's going on with internal organs. Does only one half get a heart, with the other half being either solid meat or partly hollow? Or do both halves get their own full complement of organs, in which case, how does that circulatory system work?


Well, we know from CS Lewis that a centaur has both a human and a horse stomach, and thus must eat both a human and a horse breakfast - not sure how that works from an esophagus standpoint, either; perhaps they have mouths in their stomachs, or some kind of feeding tube.

I think we have to imagine two separate systems if this is the case, although I'm not sure whether it's just separate GI stuff and unified lungs/heart (since there's only one brain, one set of ears, etc, makes sense that there might only be double GI).
posted by Frowner at 7:52 AM on March 7, 2016


I think we have to imagine two separate systems if this is the case, although I'm not sure whether it's just separate GI stuff and unified lungs/heart (since there's only one brain, one set of ears, etc, makes sense that there might only be double GI).

Anyone who is a fan of Hello from the Magic Tavern knows for an absolute certainty what magnificent fact this implies. ProTip: Do not google "Centaur Buttholes" unless you want to end up in the FPP'd Tumblr.
posted by The Bellman at 8:03 AM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Okay, but where do centaur pants stop? Do they cover all four horse legs or only two?
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:10 AM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Is Ringo Starr dead yet?
posted by biogeo at 8:13 AM on March 7, 2016


There was a web site I once saw that had a similar collection like this for Web Crawler searches. The one search term I remember from that site - which I will never forget, nor will I ever understand - was "electric yanni boat".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:21 AM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Back in the day watching MetaSpy Unfiltered (a live stream of real searches) was mesmerizing. One of my more vivid first memories of thinking "this is the future, and it is insane." Someone should reboot that. Retro search engines, they're gonna be a thing. Even in these privacy conscious times, social media tells me there are people out there who want everyone to know about their singles yoga and scalp pain.
posted by Lorin at 8:25 AM on March 7, 2016


With celebrity tie-ins! I'd be more likely to pay to see a live stream of Kanye's search history than I would to subscribe to Tidal.
posted by Lorin at 8:26 AM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Well, we know from CS Lewis that a centaur has both a human and a horse stomach, and thus must eat both a human and a horse breakfast

On the other hand, we know from John Varley that centaurs (okay, titanides) have just the one stomach, have a ginormous dong and vagina in the horsey part, and have boobs and a human sized dong or vagina up front, and are colored like the world's most 70s acid trip ever.

So, what I am saying I guess, is that centaurs are a world of contrast.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:52 AM on March 7, 2016


They're more of an equine version of the human centipede, if you know what I mean...
posted by blue_beetle at 8:55 AM on March 7, 2016


Can you owe so much money that you die?
posted by Bob Regular at 9:27 AM on March 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


nutritional value of plastic forks

I laughed myself out of my chair.....
posted by Benway at 9:40 AM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


"do your legs know they’re legs?" is a zen koan.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:14 AM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


And "worm disco" is coming up often enough that I am tempted to do a search for it myself just to see what happens - and the only thing stopping me is the fear that I may prompt another entry on this site.

It's like Pontypool.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:24 AM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


can you smoke blood

This has to be the most goth of all goth searches...
posted by Benway at 10:29 AM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


I was watching 20/20 or Dateline, one of those shows, and they were discussing a murder trial in which the prosecution pulled up the suspect's recent Google searches, and it was full of stuff like "How to strangle someone" and "How to get rid of a body". Super dumb criminal, but the scariest thing was that these things were interspersed with searches like "movie theater Brooklyn" and "cups of water to rice cooking".

It made me think what my search history would look like if you put it all together in one stream of consciousness. I've decided that I never want anyone else in the world to see that closely into my id, and made my husband promise to delete all my online accounts once I'm gone.
posted by chainsofreedom at 10:30 AM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


How to strangle someone

I bet there's a Yahoo Answers page for this question and that it is not at all helpful.
posted by beerperson at 10:34 AM on March 7, 2016


how many pairs of vintage Levi’s until we run out

Asking the important questions here.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 11:01 AM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


famous presidential candidates that are also the zodiac killer

Just one, my friend. Just one.
posted by lock sock and barrel at 11:07 AM on March 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


list of legal crimes

Nice.
posted by lock sock and barrel at 11:09 AM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


How to strangle someone

I bet there's a Yahoo Answers page for this question and that it is not at all helpful.


Every so often my spouse posts or searches for "hello FBI I am a writer, not a serial killer" just in case.
posted by Foosnark at 12:30 PM on March 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


Last night we were talking about weird stuff on the internet and I was remembering a viral video from a couple years ago, that was like a low budget talk show. There was this woman going on and on about "the power of the penis". My friend was incredulous, hadn't seen it. And I am left wondering where I saw that, but I am afraid to look because it could end up in this tumblr. As well as probably leading to horrible, horrible search results.
posted by elizilla at 12:39 PM on March 7, 2016


maximum two
posted by msmryh at 2:04 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I think the worst part is when I am looking for something but I can't quite find the right words to find it, so I do, like 20 different searches that are all like:

- deez nuts
- deez nutz
- deez nutz candidate
- deez nutz republican?
- deez nutz political party
- deez nutz what state

But then it looks like I have some sort of obsession with Deez Nutz. JUST GIVE ME THE INFO I WANT, GOOGLE.
posted by chainsofreedom at 2:36 PM on March 7, 2016


how many hot dogs?
posted by nanojath at 4:59 PM on March 7, 2016


elizilla: "Last night we were talking about weird stuff on the internet and I was remembering a viral video from a couple years ago, that was like a low budget talk show. There was this woman going on and on about "the power of the penis". My friend was incredulous, hadn't seen it. And I am left wondering where I saw that, but I am afraid to look because it could end up in this tumblr. "

Google "Alexyss Tylor" for a whole slew of videos from that person (it's not just a viral video, it's a viral career).

(This one is the one where they discuss how the jackrabbit vibrator differs from the jackrabbit that lives in the countryside)
posted by Bugbread at 8:27 PM on March 7, 2016


Why does my daughter look like Quentin Tarantino
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:09 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Mar 10 2016: Juggalo Bernie sanders

Mar 11 2016: if you die in zootopia do you die in real life
posted by homunculus at 5:12 PM on March 11, 2016


Oh my god.

Okay, I gave in to curiosity and googled "worm disco". And -

People, there actually seriously was an animated film out in Denmark in 2013 called "Disco Worms". Jane Lynch lent her voice to the English dub.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:13 PM on March 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


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