"That'll do, pig. That'll do."
March 7, 2016 4:32 PM   Subscribe

 
"You! You there! What's your favorite line in a Hollywood movie?"

"Oh, probably, 'My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.' Why do you ask?"

(I have questions about the methodology.)
posted by Navelgazer at 4:45 PM on March 7, 2016 [22 favorites]


Is this the thread where we all post our favorite eleventy-dozen Monty Python quotes?
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:47 PM on March 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


No Touch of Evil?
"He was some kind of a man... What does it matter what you say about people?"

No Citizen Kane?
"Rosebud"

This list is flawed.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 4:54 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


And no, a line from The Fucking Help doesn't end up at #60 unless your survey sample is made up primarily of screenwriters of The Help, and even then, probably not.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:54 PM on March 7, 2016 [25 favorites]


(That said there is more than one link in this well-made post, so I'll stop ranting now.)
posted by Navelgazer at 4:55 PM on March 7, 2016


Metafilter: Here's to swimmin' with bowlegged women.
posted by Chuffy at 5:01 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


I'd enjoy this thread, if I gave it any thought.
posted by jonmc at 5:03 PM on March 7, 2016


WHAT. The "Babe" quote was running through my head all day today. Weird.
posted by grumpybear69 at 5:05 PM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


"They call me Mister Tibbs!" is a line that always shows up in lists of notable lines, and for the longest time that was the only context I heard it in. But it's really not much of a line without any context. But man, when you actually get it in context, it's a powerful line.
posted by ckape at 5:07 PM on March 7, 2016 [13 favorites]


I love Jerry Maguire, but... three of the top 100 lines of all time are from Jerry Maguire?? No.
posted by cider at 5:08 PM on March 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


I've seen attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion...
posted by Brocktoon at 5:09 PM on March 7, 2016 [22 favorites]


"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill."

BLADE, 1998
posted by brundlefly at 5:10 PM on March 7, 2016 [18 favorites]


Has anyone actually watched Love Story in the last forty years? Or do they just remember that one line?
posted by octothorpe at 5:13 PM on March 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


These guys gotta spend more time watching office space... there are just so many mundane lines that reflect the actual insane plight of the common office worker.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:15 PM on March 7, 2016 [9 favorites]


Watch the second video in that first link right now for Bryan Cranston's amazing Marlon Brando impersonation (about 1:36 in the video).
posted by Ndwright at 5:18 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Since "My name is Inigo Montoya..." is not #1, this list is obviously stupid and not to be trusted.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:18 PM on March 7, 2016 [27 favorites]


"My name is Inigo Montoya" isn't even the best line in the film. It's not even the best line in the scene.
posted by dng at 5:22 PM on March 7, 2016 [36 favorites]


Also no "I ain't got time to bleed".
posted by Hairy Lobster at 5:22 PM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


That's not a knife... etc.
posted by Trochanter at 5:22 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


These guys gotta spend more time watching office space... there are just so many mundane lines that reflect the actual insane plight of the common office worker.

I myself have had "CorporateaccountspayableNina speaking! ... JUST a MOment!" in my head all day long. Which might explain my anger up above.
posted by Navelgazer at 5:24 PM on March 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


"Have that removed."
posted by wenestvedt at 5:25 PM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


I am big. It's the pictures that got small.
posted by Nerd of the North at 5:27 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


NOTHING FROM STAR TREK IV

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

THERE BE SHENANIGANS HERE
posted by duffell at 5:29 PM on March 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


"Ladies are unwell, Stone. Gentlemen vomit"
posted by Death and Gravity at 5:30 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


This will be very useful for one of my favorite pastimes, imagining Hollywood classics if all the characters were played by spooooky ghooosts!

For example, (imagine spooky ghost voice here): Forget it Jaaake, it's Chiinatown! CHIIIIIINATOWWWWN JAAAAAKE! Oooooooh!
posted by Naberius at 5:30 PM on March 7, 2016 [22 favorites]


It really is an odd mix of iconic signature lines, predictable mediocrities, and things that are really not memorable in the slightest. The "Argo" line? The one from "The Help"? The token inclusion from "The Force Awakens"? WTF?
posted by Nerd of the North at 5:36 PM on March 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


I always feel like films from the last fifteen years ago should be excluded from lists like this. Not that the newer films are bad, just that we haven't had time to filter out the good from the forgettable yet.
posted by octothorpe at 5:39 PM on March 7, 2016 [14 favorites]


As usual with dumb lists like this, there aren't much more than 25 quotes from movies made before 1970. And in the case of the 1940s, four of the quotes are from Casablanca alone. (Similarly for The Wizard of Oz in the 1930s category.) If you're going to do 100 quotes, don't be lazy. Pick one quote per movie.

(I tried watching Love Story ..... couldn't get past more than about ten minutes of Ali McGraw repeatedly spitting out the "preppy" epithet and Ryan O'Neal snarling "Listen, you Radcliffe bitch.")
posted by blucevalo at 5:41 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Anyway, the greatest movie quote of all time never makes these lists.
posted by duffell at 5:43 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


"He wasn't really a good man, he wasn't a bad man. But, Lord, he was a man." - The Ballad of Cable Hogue.

I don't know why that line always sticks with me. Maybe because it's the best most of us can ever hope for.
posted by howfar at 5:44 PM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
posted by pyramid termite at 5:44 PM on March 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


"My name is Inigo Montoya" isn't even the best line in the film. It's not even the best line in the scene.

"Good heavens, are you still trying to win? You’ve got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. That’s going to get you in trouble someday."
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:45 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


"In a row?"
posted by Cookiebastard at 5:47 PM on March 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


"The first rule of Fight Club is, you shouldn't talk about it." -- Fight Club

"Roads? Where we're going, we won't have to drive on roads." -- Back to the Future

"Frankly my dear, I don't even care." -- Gone With the Wind
posted by dephlogisticated at 5:49 PM on March 7, 2016 [23 favorites]


For this list to have had any merit it needed to consist purely of dialogue spoken by Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels.
posted by dng at 5:50 PM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius, and I'm here to say: I love Fruity Pebbles in a major way"
posted by knuckle tattoos at 5:52 PM on March 7, 2016 [35 favorites]


For this list to have had any merit it needed to consist purely of dialogue spoken by Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels.

I've noticed that "Now this is pod racing" is actually gaining some currency, as something to play on.
posted by Trochanter at 5:55 PM on March 7, 2016


I'm too old for this shit.
posted by peeedro at 5:55 PM on March 7, 2016 [11 favorites]


How about, "Quote-endquote 'definitive' listicles, by their very nature, suck." Is that on any of these lists? No? Well, maybe it should be.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:58 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


"My browser refuses to do this for various reasons!"
posted by Splunge at 6:03 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


They screen Love Story every fall for freshman at Harvard, or they used to. With stupid commentary. So the only thing I can think of when I hear about it is:

"What can you say about a twenty-five year old girl who died?"

"That she was UG-ly!"

Unfortunately it's sort of like that.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:04 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


For this list to have had any merit it needed to consist purely of dialogue spoken by Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels.

I've been trying to get "I'll try spinning, that's a good trick" going as a catchphrase, but it is being met by either bafflement or annoyance. It seems somewhat like sand - coarse and rough and irritating.
posted by nubs at 6:06 PM on March 7, 2016 [12 favorites]


Like most such lists, this is about an even mix of obvious-but-deserves-it, obvious-because-you're-lazy, and what-the-fuck-is-this-shit?!

That Gladiator quote, in particular, is like "your mom is head judge of the science fair and your shitty volcano won first prize" levels of what in the ever-loving fuck.
posted by tocts at 6:06 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Anyways, every time I see a list of top X of whatever posted on the Blue, I always say to myself that I've got a bad feeling about this.
posted by nubs at 6:07 PM on March 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


I just got this Archer reference
posted by humanfont at 6:15 PM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


"My browser refuses to do this for various reasons!"

Mine could show it, but then it died a 'orrible death.
posted by Trochanter at 6:17 PM on March 7, 2016


No quotes from Real Genius?
posted by Foosnark at 6:18 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Play Sam again, It.
posted by The Whelk at 6:20 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


"I'll try spinning, that's a good trick"

Well, now I'm in a bad mood. Jaysus that movie.
posted by Trochanter at 6:20 PM on March 7, 2016


Yippee!
posted by tocts at 6:21 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Right?
posted by exit at 6:31 PM on March 7, 2016


Well, now I'm in a bad mood. Jaysus that movie.

Whoops!
posted by nubs at 6:32 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Play Sam again, It.

That should be in a four word science fiction story contest.
posted by nubs at 6:34 PM on March 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


Here is another one they forgot.
posted by exit at 6:40 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


"I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

This is the worst piece of dialogue ever written.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:41 PM on March 7, 2016 [23 favorites]


Oh, maxi big the Force! Well, that smells stinkerwhiff.
posted by octothorpe at 6:42 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I messed my diaper... I mean, are you an angel?
posted by Trochanter at 6:47 PM on March 7, 2016


"No. Be afraid. Be very afraid." - The Fly, 1986

(I'm biased, obviously.)
posted by brundlefly at 6:50 PM on March 7, 2016 [15 favorites]


Am I dying? Is this how it starts?

Love that one. Great delivery, too.
posted by Trochanter at 6:52 PM on March 7, 2016


I'd like to exchange the double entendre of "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow." (To Have and Have Not, 1944)
for
"You know how to dial, don't you? You just put your finger in the hole and make tiny little circles." (Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, 1982)
posted by bigendian at 6:53 PM on March 7, 2016 [22 favorites]


dng: ""My name is Inigo Montoya" isn't even the best line in the film. It's not even the best line in the scene."

Really slots 1-25 could all be from the Princess Bride.

Which is the problem with lists like these; there is too much good stuff that has seeped into the pop culture consciousness to ever limit it to 100 or even sort it in any meaningful way.
posted by Mitheral at 6:56 PM on March 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


And basically every line from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
posted by peeedro at 7:07 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


I like " why if isn't Ethel Barrymore!"" Cause then there's going to be a fun little musical number.
posted by The Whelk at 7:13 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


I would pick "Charlie don't surf!" over napalm.
posted by Brocktoon at 7:16 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


From my favorite movie that WAY too few people have ever seen, "The President's Analyst": "I was right! I'm not paranoid! They're all spies!"
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:17 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


I love Jerry Maguire, but... three of the top 100 lines of all time are from Jerry Maguire?? No.

I must add a dozen No's. "You complete me" and "You had me at hello" are great lines for all the times they've been parodied. "Show me the money" should be forgotten. It wore out it's welcome before the movie left theaters. Damn this list for reminding me.
posted by blairsyprofane at 7:18 PM on March 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


You haaad me at hellooooo. Wooooo! AT HELLLOOOOO!
posted by Naberius at 7:20 PM on March 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


Brocktoon: "I would pick "Charlie don't surf!" over napalm."

Or "Never get out of the boat"
posted by octothorpe at 7:21 PM on March 7, 2016




"The first rule of Fight Club is, you shouldn't talk about it." -- Fight Club

"Roads? Where we're going, we won't have to drive on roads." -- Back to the Future

"Frankly my dear, I don't even care." -- Gone With the Wind


"Louis, I think we're going to become good friends." -- Casablanca

"Made it, Ma! I'm number one!" -- White Heat

"If you build it, your dad will show up." -- Field of Dreams
posted by KChasm at 7:23 PM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Nick Charles: I'm a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune.
Nora Charles: I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids.
Nick Charles: It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids.

I will also accept most any line from His Girl Friday but I am particularly fond of "He looks like that fellow in the movies - Ralph Bellamy. "

You want to quote a movie multiple times? Go with Young Frankenstein or Blazing Saddles, not fucking Jerry Maguire.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 7:27 PM on March 7, 2016 [10 favorites]


"I'm the king of this ship!" - Titanic
posted by The Whelk at 7:27 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Don't cry during baseball!"
posted by Navelgazer at 7:29 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I've always loved to use "That'll do, pig. That'll do." in certain circumstances, but it's amazing how few people know the quote and are puzzled/upset by it. I've just gone to muttering quietly, "That'll do."


Frequently heard around our house:

What's wrong with my eyes?
Well they're red, bloodshot.
You ought to see 'em from my side.


Cat Ballou '65


Gooooood morning, Vietnam!

Hey, this is not a test. This is rock and roll.

You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.


GMV '87
posted by BlueHorse at 7:31 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Listen! Do you smell something?"
--Ghostbusters

“It’s like I told my last wife, I says, look, I never drive any faster than I can see, and besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.”
--Big Trouble in Little China

“A brass unicorn has been catapulted across a London street and impaled an eminent surgeon! Words fail me, gentlemen.”
--The Abominable Dr. Phibes
posted by Harvey Jerkwater at 7:31 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


three of the top 100 lines of all time are from Jerry Maguire?? No

This isn't a list of "the top 100 lines of all time."

It was a survey of people who make, write for and work in film in different capacities, asking for their favorite lines. It may or may not be accurately representative of the industry, but it's not promoted here or in the article as "the best" of anything. Merely "Hollywood's favorites."
posted by zarq at 7:36 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


“You’re pretty young, Mister -- Mister Thompson. A fellow will remember things you wouldn’t think he’d remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on a ferry and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in - and on it, there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on - and she was carrying a white parasol - and I only saw her for one second and she didn’t see me at all - but I’ll bet a month hasn’t gone by since that I haven’t thought of that girl.”
--Citizen Kane

Kathie Moffett: Oh, Jeff, I don’t want to die!
Jeff Bailey: Neither do I, baby, but if I have to, I’m going to be the one who dies last.
--Out of the Past

Toby Wright: Look, alright, I was late for the meeting, Simon, I am sorry, but it's not like I threw up in there, is it?
Simon Foster: No, you're right, I'm being unfair. I should be thanking you for not throwing up. Well done, you're a star. You didn't wet yourself, did you? You're in the right city. You didn't say anything overtly racist. You didn't pull your cock out and start plucking it and shouting "Willy Banjo". No, I'm being really unfair. You'd got so much right, without actually being there in the beginning of one of the most important moments of my career. Thanks, you're a legend.
--In the Loop
posted by Harvey Jerkwater at 7:37 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I avoided actually seeing Jerry Maguire just because I got so sick of hearing quotes from it. I still haven't seen it.
posted by octothorpe at 7:44 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


three of the top 100 lines of all time are from Jerry Maguire?? No

This isn't a list of "the top 100 lines of all time."

It was a survey of people who make, write for and work in film in different capacities, asking for their favorite lines.


Well, it IS a movie about a middleman...
posted by Trochanter at 7:44 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


"You know how to dial, don't you? You just put your finger in the hole and make tiny little circles." (Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, 1982)

One of my favorite Far Side cartoons was of a snake femme fatale talking to a snake hard boiled detective. "You know how to kill a pig, don't you? You just wrap your coils around and squeeze."
posted by brundlefly at 7:52 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's interesting interesting that most of these iconic movies have so many other iconic lines.

"That rug really tied the room together"

"One day you will be called upon to do us a favor"

"I wanted a mission and for my sins they gave me one"

And really the best one of all: "I want my father back you son of a bitch."
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:01 PM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Yeah, for the movies where I have any favorite lines, it's mostly not these. And sometimes the best-delivered lines don't stand out on paper.

A few that came to mind reading the list:

Mmm! This is a tasty burger!
I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. / It puts the lotion in the basket.
There is too much pepper in my paprikash, but I would be proud to partake of your pecan pie.
How rude! / Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive.
It would be bad. / Yes, have some
My mother? Let me tell you about my mother. / Men? Police men? / Home again, home again, jiggity-jig!
posted by mubba at 8:09 PM on March 7, 2016


I like how "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die" is directly followed by "I am your father."

I'm having fun picturing this scene.
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 8:19 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Yeah, well...
posted by pinespree at 8:21 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Come find me in Montauk"
posted by Navelgazer at 8:24 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


"You forgot to hook up the doll."
posted by Flashman at 8:46 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ahem. "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass." [end of thread]
posted by Zonker at 8:48 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


"You and I have business to finish."
posted by Navelgazer at 8:52 PM on March 7, 2016


Annina: "Monsieur Rick, what kind of a man is Captain Renault?"
Rick: "Oh, he's just like any other man, only more so."
posted by sapere aude at 8:59 PM on March 7, 2016


"Open the pod bay doors, HAL."

There, that wasn't hard to remember. Add it to the top of the list and we're good.
posted by N-stoff at 9:15 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry, I can't do that N-stoff
posted by TedW at 9:17 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


"That'll do pig, that'll do" is what my boyfriend whispered in my ear moments after I pushed our firstborn child out. Luckily I thought it was funny.
posted by Wantok at 9:19 PM on March 7, 2016 [26 favorites]


Klaatu barada nikto
posted by TedW at 9:24 PM on March 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


"You! You there! What's your favorite line in a Hollywood movie?"

"Oh, probably, 'My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.' Why do you ask?"


I'm entertained. Aren't you?
posted by straight at 9:27 PM on March 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Well, think me up a cup of coffee and a chocolate doughnut with some of those little sprinkles on top, while you're thinking.--The Fugitive
posted by mmmbacon at 9:28 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's showtime!

Today is a good day to die.
posted by TedW at 9:29 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Since they made a big fuss about misquotes in this listicle, I have to point out that it's take your stinking paws off me.
posted by knuckle tattoos at 9:43 PM on March 7, 2016


Hock your jewels, use the money for stools!
posted by Chrysostom at 9:54 PM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


"Your soul is dog shit. Every single f*cking thing about you is ugly." --Marcus, Bad Santa.
posted by ELF Radio at 10:38 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Call Starkist"
"Who wants some?"
"It's a test, designed to provoke an emotional response"
"You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake."
"Wiping out the human race? That's a great idea. That's great. But more of a long-term thing. I mean, first we have to focus on more immediate goals."
posted by bongo_x at 11:02 PM on March 7, 2016


I like money.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:04 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


"My God: it's full of stars" (2001: A Space Odyssey).
posted by datawrangler at 11:05 PM on March 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


"I think a fish that big could totally destroy this boat." -- Jaws

"I'm about to kill and eat someone I've carried a grudge against for years" -- The Silence of the Lambs

"I had sex with your mother and we made you." -- The Empire Strikes Back
posted by gottabefunky at 11:11 PM on March 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


No Star Trek IV? The author of this article must have done a little too much LDS, I think.
posted by brecc at 11:17 PM on March 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


"Did they look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a damn how crazy they are!"

Well I must say that whacking, whatever it is, sounds most disagreeable.
posted by Mitheral at 11:20 PM on March 7, 2016


"I'll come back." -- Terminator
posted by KChasm at 11:28 PM on March 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


Only here to say that I genuinely thought the headline quote here was from Deliverance. I am therefore probably not sophisticated enough for any of this list.
posted by AFII at 11:46 PM on March 7, 2016


Does it have to be only films? Because my favorite line ever uttered by an actor is:

"As god as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." - WKRP in Cincinnati.
posted by elendil71 at 1:49 AM on March 8, 2016 [9 favorites]


".........."

-Rififi
posted by clavdivs at 1:56 AM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


CTRL-F "Quaaludes"
YOOOOOOOOU PHAAAAAAAAAKS
posted by lmfsilva at 2:03 AM on March 8, 2016


"We're on a mission from God"
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 2:11 AM on March 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


“A brass unicorn has been catapulted across a London street and impaled an eminent surgeon! Words fail me, gentlemen.”
--The Abominable Dr. Phibes


Trout: I'm a bit apprehensive about finding the others, sir. Do you think you know where we are?
Waverley: Trout, I don't think. I know.
Trout: I don't think you know either, sir.
posted by Grangousier at 2:30 AM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


"For the last time: you don't say 'That'll do, pig', you say 'Thank you, officer'. I won't bail you out again."
posted by Grangousier at 2:32 AM on March 8, 2016


"Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but at some point in the near future and then for quite a long period of time afterwards if you take care of yourself."
posted by billiebee at 2:49 AM on March 8, 2016


"We should launch our spaceship while detonotating a nuclear device at ground level. That way we will be mos def."
posted by valkane at 4:09 AM on March 8, 2016




Alright now, I'm comin' out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna kill him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife. All his friends. Burn his damn house down. -William Munny Unforgiven
posted by humanfont at 4:37 AM on March 8, 2016


Peter Serafinowicz perfectly reproduces many of these classic lines
posted by leibniz at 4:43 AM on March 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


Needs more Otto.
posted by plinth at 5:12 AM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


"We're on a mission from God"

You have to type it in the right accent.

"We're onna mishun from Gahd."

"As god as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." - WKRP in Cincinnati.

Truly the acme of the American sitcom.
posted by eriko at 5:55 AM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]




"As the ancient Tibetan philosophy states, 'Don't start none, won't be none.' "

I explain this to video game NPCs all the time. But then they start some, and then there is some.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:06 AM on March 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


Major Strasser's been shot! Round up Kevin Pollack, Kevin Spacey, Gabriel Byrne, Stephen Baldwin, and Benicio del Toro.
posted by beerperson at 6:24 AM on March 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


eriko: "Truly the acme of the American sitcom."

Les: Travis, the day you came to this station, you promised to get me a helicopter.
Andy: I know, Les, but that was a long time ago and I was lying.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:45 AM on March 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


"See, these are Hollywood's 100 Favorite Movie Quotes! These are the best lines from these movies!"

"That's just, like, your opinion, man."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:57 AM on March 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


You want to quote a movie multiple times? Go with Young Frankenstein or Blazing Saddles, not fucking Jerry Maguire

I don't think any website in this day and age is going to quote some of the more famous (but un-repeatable in public) lines from Blazing Saddles.
posted by Mr. Big Business at 6:58 AM on March 8, 2016


I don't think any website in this day and age is going to quote some of the more famous (but un-repeatable in public) lines from Blazing Saddles.

I fully expect Donald Trump to say, "Excuse me while I whip this out" at the next debate.
posted by zarq at 7:07 AM on March 8, 2016 [2 favorites]




"Yes, it's true. This man has no dick."

"Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!"

"Back off, man. I'm a scientist."

You know what? I'm just going to forget about this list and go watch Ghostbusters.
posted by 256 at 7:40 AM on March 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


I keep coming back to this one.

A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
posted by JaredSeth at 7:58 AM on March 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


"Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so."
posted by soelo at 8:18 AM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? All those damn Cukoo clocks. Those things are really neat and clever. Damn I love the Swiss." - The Third Man
posted by The Whelk at 8:28 AM on March 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Mmm, Juicy Fruit."
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 8:35 AM on March 8, 2016


"Lighten up, Francis."
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 9:02 AM on March 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


I'd like to exchange the double entendre of "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow." (To Have and Have Not, 1944)
for
"You know how to dial, don't you? You just put your finger in the hole and make tiny little circles." (Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, 1982)


I'm not familiar with this quote, but the pedant in me notes they are not tiny circles, but tiny arcs.
posted by xmattxfx at 9:08 AM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


"No, Roland... I crashed my van into Jesus! Okay? I have a pimple the size of Jupiter! I am NOT okay! This is not how I wanted to remember my Prom. This is not how I wanted to remember my life."
posted by soundofsuburbia at 9:28 AM on March 8, 2016


("I wrote, 'Yippie-ki-yay, asshole,' " recalls Die Hard screenwriter Steven E. de Souza).

LOLwut, Mr Falcon?
posted by chavenet at 9:34 AM on March 8, 2016


“It’s like I told my last wife, I says, look, I never drive any faster than I can see, and besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.”
--Big Trouble in Little China

posted by Harvey Jerkwater at 7:31 PM on March 7 [4 favorites +] [!]


Thank you, Harvey. Also, these:

"Okay, new plan: Everybody hide!"

"When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if you paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

"All I know is, this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him with *light* coming out of his mouth!"

"Which Lo Pan? Eight foot tall roadblock or little ol' basket case on wheels?"

"Just remember what Jack Burton always says..."
"Who?"
"Jack Burton. Me!"

Solid Gold.
posted by spacely_sprocket at 9:35 AM on March 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Big Trouble in Little China is just endlessly quotable.

"That is not water."
"Black blood of the earth."
"Do you mean oil?"
"I mean black blood of the earth."
posted by brundlefly at 9:46 AM on March 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Don't forget: "Oh my god, no, please, what is that, don't tell me." More for the delivery than the line itself, but still.
posted by holborne at 10:45 AM on March 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


What Jefferson was saying was, "Hey! You know, we left this England place 'cause it was bogus; so if we don't get some cool rules ourselves - pronto - we'll just be bogus too! Get it?"

...Very close, Jeff.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:01 AM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


I didn't know the "that'll do pig" line wasn't from gravity falls' best episode (Time Traveler's Pig).
posted by signal at 11:08 AM on March 8, 2016


"Tighten your seat belts, it's gonna be an uncomfortable social situation". -- All About Eve
posted by The Whelk at 11:17 AM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


(Almost) Everyone younger than 65: What the fuck is Love Story?
posted by Eyebeams at 11:57 AM on March 8, 2016


I actually saw something about Love Story, maybe Cracked (?), in an article about things that were huge that nobody remembers anymore.
posted by bongo_x at 12:24 PM on March 8, 2016


"Everybody needs money! That's why they call it money!"
posted by dfan at 1:18 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


I actually saw something about Love Story, maybe Cracked (?), in an article about things that were huge that nobody remembers anymore.

Was Avatar on that list? Because for such a massive hit it's had almost zero cultural staying power.
posted by brundlefly at 1:35 PM on March 8, 2016


No, I think this was it;
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-blockbuster-hit-movies-that-no-one-cares-about/

But I did see something recently about that, maybe here?
posted by bongo_x at 1:48 PM on March 8, 2016




bongo_x: "http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-blockbuster-hit-movies-that-no-one-cares-about/"

Smoky and the Bandit does not belong on that list. If only because of how iconic the Firebird is.
posted by Mitheral at 3:35 PM on March 8, 2016


bongo_x: "http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-blockbuster-hit-movies-that-no-one-cares-about/"

Smoky and the Bandit does not belong on that list. If only because of how iconic the Firebird is.


I didn't think most of those movies (except Twister) belonged there. But then again, I'm over 50 and so remember all of them. Billy Jack at number one? If the Trans Am gets Smokey and the Bandit off the list, then certainly One Tin Soldier does the same for Billy Jack. Walking Tall would have been a better choice, even if it did get a crappy remake.
posted by TedW at 6:22 PM on March 8, 2016


I didn't see The Exorcist until I was in my 20s, so when in 9th grade 2 (Jewish! and they knew I was too ) boys came up to me chanting "The power of Christ compels you" I had no idea what the fuck they meant.
posted by brujita at 8:58 PM on March 8, 2016


'My name is Inigo Montoya' isn't even the best line in the film. It's not even the best line in the scene.

Stop saying that!
posted by kirkaracha at 10:40 PM on March 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


"Shut up and deal." -- The Apartment (1960)
posted by kirkaracha at 10:41 PM on March 8, 2016


I didn't think most of those movies (except Twister) belonged there. But then again, I'm over 50 and so remember all of them. Billy Jack at number one?

Smokey and the Bandit certainly has not had staying power compared to how big it was at the time, but yeah, I think it outpaces the others, which most people don’t even know. I have actually been in situations where a couple of us who were around at the time had to explain what Billy Jack was to people only a decade younger, so no, it did not have much of a lasting impression.
posted by bongo_x at 12:12 AM on March 9, 2016


We've come for your daughter, Chuck.

NED?????!?

Game over, man! Game over!
posted by ostranenie at 5:37 AM on March 9, 2016


Aliens is so quotable.
posted by octothorpe at 6:19 AM on March 9, 2016


Aliens can BILL ME
posted by phearlez at 8:51 AM on March 9, 2016 [1 favorite]


Nuke it from orbit is definitely in the lexicon now.
posted by Trochanter at 9:22 AM on March 9, 2016


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