SUBJECT 3 PRONE ON KITCHEN FLOOR
March 20, 2016 1:40 PM   Subscribe

This House Has People In It. Footage demonstrating the capabilities of AB Surveillance Solutions, a company whose technicians will solve any surveillance problem you have, for the life of the problem. (The lifespan of some problems may exceed that of our technicians, this is perfectly normal.) Log in to get a quote. (Previously.)
posted by reluctant early bird (17 comments total) 29 users marked this as a favorite
 
This is an elaborate ARG from Alan Resnick, the creator behind Alantutorial and Live as You Are Now Forever, among other productions. There's a quite long google doc revealing all of the secrets found so far. Dive into that rabbit hole!
posted by clockworkjoe at 2:00 PM on March 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


All people have problems and all problems need solutions, therefore all people need solutions. We are solutions, you are people, and you need us.

I am people! I do need them!

[this is good]
posted by billiebee at 2:03 PM on March 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


PLEASE NOW GO STAND BY THE STAIRS.
posted by loquacious at 2:14 PM on March 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I just want to state that I can say "shit" more than three times.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 2:41 PM on March 20, 2016


6. What happens if I accidentally set off one of the alarms?

Since our alarms can only be heard by Alpha Customer 1, we are not legally obligated to alert the police or fire department during the event of a sound-release. If for any reason you would like us to send an emergency technician to your location, go to the Main Camera 1 in Room 1 and make large lateral movements with your head while reciting your personalized Alert Command. To disable alarm please have a Beta Custumer enact the Main Quieting Gesture Sequence in front of any camera at the address. Once the full sequence is complete, all alarms will be disabled. To reenable, have Beta Customer repeat the MQGS in reverse sequence.
posted by jjwiseman at 3:06 PM on March 20, 2016


Welcome to the Sulptor's Clay Ground

Clay is something special for sure! You can buy clay in almost any store but you really shouldnt. Clay is special for sure but the clay they sell in big box stores just doesnt cut it. Litterally.

My adive: if you want to make a timeless peice that stands the "test" of time, you need to get clay from a prison yard. period.

posted by Iridic at 3:37 PM on March 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Man that was brilliant. I love how it draws you in.
posted by awfurby at 4:07 PM on March 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Draws you in? It pushed me away. I kept fast-forwarding through it to get to something that was at all interesting. The whole thing just alienated the shit out of me to where I really didn't care. Sorry. Guess I'm too thick to get it.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:39 PM on March 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Every time I hear that Adult Swim has done something new and weird, my initial reaction is always "I'm sure it's awesome, but there's no way it's as awesome as [examples of their past awesomeness]". I'm pretty much always proven wrong, because they're uniformly AMAZING.

If any's enjoying Reznick's videos and isn't aware of Adult Swim's Off the Air, check it out. It's pretty much a pure distillation of the best psych/absurdist/surrealist cable access from the old days, with some fun 21st century twists thrown in for good measure..
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 4:47 PM on March 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


tutorial comment like subscribe
posted by Zerowensboring at 6:00 PM on March 20, 2016


Draws you in? It pushed me away.
That's...good. That's very good, Thorzdad.

(pauses for a moment before furiously scribbling into a fresh notebook for 63 seconds)

Yes. Quite good.

The nurse will bring you back to your room now.
posted by ArmandoAkimbo at 6:20 PM on March 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


I didn't know that Resnick was the same Alan of Tutorial fame, and I didn't have any idea how deep the rabbit hole goes. Thanks, clockworkjoe!
posted by reluctant early bird at 6:40 PM on March 20, 2016


Can someone please explain to me what the purpose of that seemingly pointless video was?

I know I'm an "old," but I'm really lost here.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 7:13 PM on March 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


>what the purpose of that seemingly pointless video was?

A little boy's birthday party is ruined when his stepsister melts sullenly through the kitchen floor.

This may have something to do with Lynks Disease, a degenerative illness which causes brain damage, oral lesions, excessive face-touching, and instabilities in the space-time continuum. Almost the entire family seems to be affected; the ludicrous amount of surveillance (amounting to hundreds of cameras throughout the house) suggests quarantine conditions.
posted by Iridic at 8:43 PM on March 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Iridic: "This may have something to do with Lynks Disease, a degenerative illness which causes brain damage, oral lesions, excessive face-touching, and instabilities in the space-time continuum. Almost the entire family seems to be affected; the ludicrous amount of surveillance (amounting to hundreds of cameras throughout the house) suggests quarantine conditions."

Oh, OK. See? This I can understand perfectly. I guess I'm losing my intuitive abilities as I age. Thanks.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 9:39 PM on March 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


That's OK- It's one of those multimedia projects where you have to go to a bunch of websites, listen to a bunch of sound files, infer from indirect conversation, and get a manila envelope handed to you by a guy who meets you in an empty parking garage. If you miss the guy in the garage, you'll never get some of the in-jokes.
posted by happyroach at 12:49 AM on March 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


Amazing as usual.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:47 AM on March 21, 2016


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