Oh fudge! You cussin', fargin' bastidge.
March 21, 2016 7:10 PM   Subscribe

 
Heh, fun. I have a bunch of these, working in a financial institution after many years working with tower hands I need 'em. People really enjoy "son of a beach blanket bingo party" when said in fully pissed off mode. It's kind of a nice way to release tension instead of increasing it.
posted by calamari kid at 7:41 PM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]




I was reading an Australian news item the other day. The head of our stock exchange resigned. Name? Elmer Funke Kupper. Funke Kupper. What a name to mutter under your breath, I thought.
posted by Joe in Australia at 7:53 PM on March 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


Jinkies!
posted by Artw at 8:11 PM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


These make me want to say real cursewords even more though.
posted by emjaybee at 8:20 PM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Glad to see Ralphie in there
posted by TedW at 8:30 PM on March 21, 2016


Except I Didn't Say Fudge: Rejected Autobiography Chapter Titles, Part I.
posted by Diablevert at 8:39 PM on March 21, 2016


I used to work a theater tour that went to high schools so we had a lot of these. One of my favorites is "Got down sat on a bench."
posted by Uncle at 9:07 PM on March 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


Well fuck me this is so fucking funny I shit my pants!
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:14 PM on March 21, 2016


Whoever made this video needs to be deported to Sweden.
posted by azpenguin at 9:35 PM on March 21, 2016


So this is original clean cursing, as opposed to the dubbed in clean curses we hear on network TV or basic cable (e.g., finding a stranger in the Alps).
posted by Cash4Lead at 9:57 PM on March 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


Sunny beach (I'm going to start adding the bingo blanket party) and Son of a Motherless Goat get heavy rotation in my Customer Service voice. And in especially heated moments I give it a twist that really leaves people's head shaking, with a hearty Fuck Ryan out loud!
posted by carsonb at 10:10 PM on March 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


We had a Mexican guy working for us at an old job. He was still learning English. But if something went south he'd just say "Son of a biscuit eater!" and get back to work. He was a fun guy to work with.
posted by azpenguin at 10:22 PM on March 21, 2016 [7 favorites]


Marvel Comics used similar strategies in its 1970s comic books. In Luke Cage's streetwise, Harlem-set adventures, I seem to recall "motherfunker" being substituted for a popular insult. Not sure which comic this exchange came from, but I've never forgotten it:

"Man, I feel like ..."
"Used food?"
"Yeah."
posted by Paul Slade at 1:57 AM on March 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


I hate this. "Fudge" is for people who want all the benefits of cussing but who don't want to cuss. Either cuss or don't cuss, but don't half-ass it.
posted by Brittanie at 3:58 AM on March 22, 2016 [6 favorites]


Well, confound it all to heck!
posted by acb at 4:01 AM on March 22, 2016


My three year old spent a month saying "Jimmidge" through clenched teeth when he got frustrated, before I figured out he was dying "Dammit".

Anyway so I say Jimmidge now when he's not around to hear it.
posted by annathea at 4:35 AM on March 22, 2016 [6 favorites]


Where's "mother pus bucket"?

I've somehow started using that myself, especially at work. It is VERY satisfying.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:56 AM on March 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


Absolutely obligatory: Who are you calling a cootie queen, lintlicker?
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:24 AM on March 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


Once I was watching Kill Bill on TBS, and they changed the truck that was "Pussy Ride" or whatever to "Party Ride." Like, they didn't take away the image of that yellow truck, they just photoshopped "Party" on it.
posted by angrycat at 5:32 AM on March 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


"What the cuss!?"
posted by jetsetsc at 6:29 AM on March 22, 2016


The technical term for these sorts of expressions is the delightful "minced oath".
posted by Rock Steady at 6:31 AM on March 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


This sort of thing is why I enjoy science fiction swearing in situations where I can't use the u in "feck." Frak this, y'all.

I also came across the term "jackhole" in a teenage book, which I think sounds delightfully like an actual swear word and yet technically is not.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:49 AM on March 22, 2016


Ah, Johnny Dangerously and its only lasting contribution to pop culture.

Also worth noting: Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, drunk and not afraid to call a former squadmate a bosh'tet.

Also, too: Luke Cage's favorite and most infamous near-swear was "Sweet Christmas!", which made an appearance in Jessica Jones.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:08 AM on March 22, 2016


This is Sofa King good.
posted by Splunge at 7:21 AM on March 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


I realize this video isn't about dubbed versions for TV, but I just have to give a shout-out to the TV edit of Repo Man. Not just for the phenomenal array of creative voiceover dubbing, but also the many deleted scenes that they added in. Ie: Vended food contains all the necessary nutrients for survival.
posted by Nelson at 7:39 AM on March 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


They're missing the fist clap from Friends. (And the eventual elbow clap)
posted by numaner at 8:17 AM on March 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


> I hate this. "Fudge" is for people who want all the benefits of cussing but who don't want to cuss. Either cuss or don't cuss, but don't half-ass it.

Must be nice to live your entire life in circumstances where you never have to restrain your speech!
posted by languagehat at 8:59 AM on March 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


I like some of these like nerf herder, mother puss bucket, your momma was a snowblower. The ones that are trying to use swear words without swearing annoy me though. Things like bastidge, funk, shiitake mushroom. Just use the word or be creative, either of which work for me. The video seemed to be about half of each type and I think there's a big difference.

One instance of fake/hidden/whatever swearing that makes me smile every time I see it is on the bottom of every receipt from the Thai place next to my office. The name of the place is King Thai, so it's most certainly intentional because there's no way it's an accidental construction using their name.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 9:04 AM on March 22, 2016 [4 favorites]


>Must be nice to live your entire life in circumstances where you never have to restrain your speech!<

Maybe like some of us, they just got old ...

That makes you edit a lot less.
posted by twidget at 10:35 AM on March 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


I don't see how the True Romance clip qualifies. It is common racism, not clever censorship.
posted by GrapeApiary at 10:48 AM on March 22, 2016


Restraining your speech is a lot different from pretending you're cursing when you're not.

I, for example, could not and would not EVER say "son of a beach" (or whatever) around my in-laws because it would be viewed just as negatively as the actual curse. So, I just avoid such phrasing altogether when I must "restrain."

Then I get in the car and let out a five-minute string of blue words just to decompress.
posted by Brittanie at 11:07 AM on March 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


The prize goes to the network television edit of the Usual Suspects.

Gimme the keys, you fairy godmother.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 11:24 AM on March 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


In the US, we have a nice middle ground in being able to use expressions that are seriously cuss-y in the UK but are considered innocuous here. Like, you absolutely can't call someone a jag-off with impunity in most polite settings, but tosser is fine because nobody gets that it's a synonym, and even wanker gets by with some audiences although that's more marginal. The only real negative is possibly coming off as a pretentious Anglophile. I'm kind of surprised berk never caught on much in the US since it's a totally socially acceptable (here) way to say an extremely offensive thing.
posted by FelliniBlank at 11:32 AM on March 22, 2016


It's even a problem in children's literature.

BLARK!
posted by stannate at 12:41 PM on March 22, 2016


I always get a chuckle with my favorite Bugs Bunny quote, a "What a maroon!"
posted by arkham_inmate_0801 at 1:15 PM on March 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


See you next Tuesday!
posted by sparklemotion at 3:07 PM on March 22, 2016


I, for example, could not and would not EVER say "son of a beach" (or whatever) around my in-laws because it would be viewed just as negatively as the actual curse.

Oh dear. There is no amount of "jeez" or "gosh" that can be made okay with some fundamentalist Christians.

"Devil" was suspect when I was young, too, unless you were talking about a foodstuff or the actual Devil, and you were generally supposed to let your elders handle that. I remember watching a Nick at Nite episode of Dennis the Menace -- even less menacing than the comic -- where Dennis harasses Margaret by repeating "deviled eggs! deviled eggs!" at her, because it is okay to say "devil" in an egg context. It was a joke so bad, on so many levels, that it has remained with me for nearly thirty years.
posted by Countess Elena at 5:03 PM on March 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


We have a Pho King 4 restaurant where I live.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:31 PM on March 22, 2016


Surely Yosemite Sam is the ...king.
posted by mrettig at 7:04 PM on March 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


The organisation which runs British horse racing polices the names submitted for new racehorses quite carefully to avoid profanity and other problems. One owner came within an ace of circumventing these rules by naming his horse "Norfolk & Chance" - which neatly summed up his expectations for its future success.

It was only at the very last minute that the Jockey Club caught on and vetoed the name. Spoilsports!
posted by Paul Slade at 1:29 AM on March 23, 2016 [4 favorites]


I love this theory but suspect that the owners of King Thai purchased their cash register second-hand from a failed Vietnamese restaurant; it can be surprisingly fiddly to change the footer message.

Maybe but they went so far as to have Pho King as a menu item and the phone number on the footer is correct. I will not let you ruin this for me. Though this is a Vietnamese neighborhood so this is one of many Vietnamese owned places, some of which have failed.

Oh dear. There is no amount of "jeez" or "gosh" that can be made okay with some fundamentalist Christians.

I can still remember being sent home from two different friends houses as a kid - once for a single use of "Jeez" and once for saying something "pissed me off." Oh were those parents' faces red and I just couldn't figure it out because there was little swearing or off color language in my house and I thought I knew what was ok.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 6:40 AM on March 23, 2016


Years ago, there was a cartoon making the rounds. A mother was on the phone while her young son colored or was otherwise playing in the foreground. The mother is apologizing for language her son used in school, and she's all "well, I will talk to junior", and when she turns around to ask her kid about it, she says something like "what the fuck, dude?"

I am totally that mom. I swear like a sailor teaching cursing lessons to truckers. Except when other people's children are within earshot, because I'm already twenty years older than most of their parents, I wear black all the time, and our house is filled with art and comics and instruments and an entire room of costumes and craft supplies. I'm already sending their children home covered in glitter, I don't need to add an advanced vocabulary to the mix.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 1:04 PM on March 23, 2016 [6 favorites]


Even as a kid, I thought it was odd that people would get as mad about "shit" etc. as about God-related curses. There was definitely stuff about not swearing in the Bible, I understood that, but why did God care what kind of words people used about all the gross stuff we have on or inside us? He put it there, didn't He?

If I was ever adorably insufferable enough to actually ask this question, I don't believe I was answered.
posted by Countess Elena at 5:18 PM on March 23, 2016


Huh - Elena, I have a very clear memory of a nun from Sunday school talking to us about that in one class when I was about 7. She was talking about what "blasphemy" meant, and she definitely made a distinction between God-related oaths and what she called "bathroom words". Those words were rude, she admitted, but not blasphemous.

And honestly, to this day I occasionally still feel a tiny twinge of guilt if my cussing includes the word "God" somehow.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:38 AM on March 24, 2016


Non of these pho jokes work on me, because it's pronounced like "fuh" and I will cut you if you say it wrong, but I will high five you if you can make puns that uses that pronunciation, like "What the Pho". At least I'm not forcing English speakers to use the accent mark.
posted by numaner at 7:50 AM on March 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


Nope, a lot of them relies on the mispronunciations "foh" or "foo(k)". And yes, a lot of the owners are guilty, I'm only slightly disappointed in my fellow Viets :-P
posted by numaner at 4:04 PM on March 25, 2016


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