Luckiest Girl Alive

March 29, 2016 11:30 AM

I know that I made the mistake of thinking that living well is the best revenge ... If I were a victim of the other horrific crime in my book, I would talk about it openly. I wouldn't pretend like it hadn't happened to me, like I don't still hurt about it, like I don't still cry about it. Why should this be any different? What I know, an essay by Jessica Knoll. Also, in the NYT, Jessica Knoll Reveals the Rape Behind Her Novel, ‘Luckiest Girl Alive’. (There are not enough trigger warnings in the world for this difficult, brave essay and the article about it.)
posted by RedOrGreen (11 comments total)

I hope it gets better.
posted by Mooski at 11:52 AM on March 29, 2016

QFT-"...I figured out, eventually, that the appearance of living well is not the same thing as actually living well. And even if it were, revenge does not beget healing. Healing will come when I snuff out the shame, when I rip the shroud off the truth. "
posted by Gorgik at 12:07 PM on March 29, 2016 [10 favorites]

I figured out, eventually, that the appearance of living well is not the same thing as actually living well. And even if it were, revenge does not beget healing.

OK, well this sentence is coming to therapy with me next week.

The essay was brutal and full of truth. I don't know why, when I see a trigger warning I am drawn like a moth. Perhaps I feel like I can desensitize myself by reading every gory, bloody, messy, brutal essay until it doesn't hurt.
posted by Sophie1 at 12:11 PM on March 29, 2016 [14 favorites]

i read her novel not knowing there was a gang rape in it. It starts out sort of like mean girl chick lit and then spirals into darkness.

It's really good, I guess the rape isn't that much of a spoiler since there are lots of other twists in the novel.
posted by zutalors! at 1:00 PM on March 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Sophie1, I tell myself every time: This time, it'll be fine, and won't be upsetting. It's not a big deal, it wasn't a big deal, and I'll be fine.

It wasn't true this time, either.
posted by mishafletch at 1:20 PM on March 29, 2016 [7 favorites]

If her novel is half as well-written as that essay, I know I want to read it, and it just got added to my to-read list. That was powerful and brave.

And I wish that there were consequences for the people who treated her so badly back then. Not just the perpetrators, but the people at the party who allowed it to happen, the people at school who said and did cruel things, and the awful teacher she mentions.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:43 PM on March 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

It's really good, but I'd describe it as dark chick lit, which sounds dismissive, but it's in the Gone Girl/Girl on the Train vein (but better). It's not "light" but you can get through it quickly, though it leaves you shaking.
posted by zutalors! at 5:47 PM on March 29, 2016

I can't imagine reading that book and NOT being aware that she was writing about something that had really happened to her.
posted by jfwlucy at 5:46 AM on March 30, 2016

I'm one of those! I had no idea. I goes I supposed she had done research.
posted by zutalors! at 5:49 AM on March 30, 2016

It's interesting here in Philadelphia because the school to which she went, Shipley, is one of the very old prestigious ones to which a lot of wealthy parents send their children. Rumors abound.
posted by jfwlucy at 7:47 AM on March 30, 2016

Yea I know someone who went to Shipley.
posted by zutalors! at 7:49 AM on March 30, 2016