Cornhub. Hot. Sexy. Buttery. So very very very nsfw.
March 31, 2016 9:35 PM Subscribe
Shucking. Popping. cobbing... nsfw! Very very nsfw (seriously) but so very sensual, alluring, and enticing... true art!
That was ridiculous! I LOLd
posted by MissySedai at 9:40 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by MissySedai at 9:40 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
It's worth noting that although the page itself is a joke, there *is* very, very NSFW advertising appearing on it. Somehow, the emphatic exhortations re: NSFW in the post make them seem like part of the joke, but if you've got a NSFW issue, you should take them seriously.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:58 PM on March 31, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 9:58 PM on March 31, 2016 [9 favorites]
the horror that is April 1st on the internet
Speaking of which, the horrible UI on the Gmail "joke" has apparently already fucked up some people's job interviews and family relationships. We're off to a strong start.
posted by RogerB at 9:58 PM on March 31, 2016 [4 favorites]
Speaking of which, the horrible UI on the Gmail "joke" has apparently already fucked up some people's job interviews and family relationships. We're off to a strong start.
posted by RogerB at 9:58 PM on March 31, 2016 [4 favorites]
Speaking of which, the horrible UI on the Gmail "joke" has apparently already fucked up some people's job interviews and family relationships.
If a person is really that generally oblivious, then it was only a matter of time regardless of glaringly obvious UI changes.
posted by cmoj at 10:15 PM on March 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
If a person is really that generally oblivious, then it was only a matter of time regardless of glaringly obvious UI changes.
posted by cmoj at 10:15 PM on March 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
It's worth noting that although the page itself is a joke, there *is* very, very NSFW advertising appearing on it
We take such things in stride at my shop, but then again we have lots of half empty bottles of whisky lying about.
posted by boilermonster at 10:24 PM on March 31, 2016
We take such things in stride at my shop, but then again we have lots of half empty bottles of whisky lying about.
posted by boilermonster at 10:24 PM on March 31, 2016
If a person is really that generally oblivious, then it was only a matter of time
I live in California so it's not the 1st here yet (and therefore I haven't seen this personally), but uh no, you don't have to be oblivious to assume that your email client won't automatically insert some stupid Minions joke into your emails. That is such a huge violation of trust.
posted by teponaztli at 10:24 PM on March 31, 2016 [21 favorites]
I live in California so it's not the 1st here yet (and therefore I haven't seen this personally), but uh no, you don't have to be oblivious to assume that your email client won't automatically insert some stupid Minions joke into your emails. That is such a huge violation of trust.
posted by teponaztli at 10:24 PM on March 31, 2016 [21 favorites]
The ads are pitch perfect!
"Grow your corn in 2 weeks"
LOL make that baby corn grow
posted by gox3r at 10:25 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by gox3r at 10:25 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
I know it's a joke and all, but I actually think that banner is very pretty.
posted by teponaztli at 10:26 PM on March 31, 2016
posted by teponaztli at 10:26 PM on March 31, 2016
I live in California so it's not the 1st here yet
So do I; the stoopid "mic drop" button went live in my fucking Gmail already.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 10:26 PM on March 31, 2016
So do I; the stoopid "mic drop" button went live in my fucking Gmail already.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 10:26 PM on March 31, 2016
Wow, that gmail thing is mindblowingly bad. Aside from the general eye-rolliness of the stupid cartoon gif thing, making it easy for users to mistakenly archive email threads and see no responses is straight-up dangerous.
posted by threeants at 10:36 PM on March 31, 2016
posted by threeants at 10:36 PM on March 31, 2016
Wow, that gmail thing is mindblowingly bad. Aside from the general eye-rolliness of the stupid cartoon gif thing, making it easy for users to mistakenly archive email threads and see no responses is straight-up dangerous.
There is a big popup the first time you click Reply explaining the new button in the UI, and archiving an email chain in gmail doesn't mean responses won't show up in your inbox.
posted by kafziel at 10:50 PM on March 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
There is a big popup the first time you click Reply explaining the new button in the UI, and archiving an email chain in gmail doesn't mean responses won't show up in your inbox.
posted by kafziel at 10:50 PM on March 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
> If a person is really that generally oblivious, then it was only a matter of time regardless of glaringly obvious UI changes.
Actually, not only is it horrible UI, it's buggy and attaching it to messages for those who aren't clicking on it and it is not displaying the dialog saying "did you mean to do this?"
So yeah, fucking with peoples email applications as a prank is a bad fucking idea. I am assuming, since this is a prank, the dev team didn't get the same UI/UX/QA/Verification process that any other legitimate UI change would have required. We're talking about a company that evaluated which shade of blue to use to fractional better clickthrough rates.
posted by mrzarquon at 10:52 PM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
Actually, not only is it horrible UI, it's buggy and attaching it to messages for those who aren't clicking on it and it is not displaying the dialog saying "did you mean to do this?"
So yeah, fucking with peoples email applications as a prank is a bad fucking idea. I am assuming, since this is a prank, the dev team didn't get the same UI/UX/QA/Verification process that any other legitimate UI change would have required. We're talking about a company that evaluated which shade of blue to use to fractional better clickthrough rates.
posted by mrzarquon at 10:52 PM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
That Gmail thing makes me angry. But the question is, does it make me angry enough to stop using Gmail?
And the answer to that question makes me even madder. Grrrrrrrr.
posted by Mothlight at 10:52 PM on March 31, 2016 [8 favorites]
And the answer to that question makes me even madder. Grrrrrrrr.
posted by Mothlight at 10:52 PM on March 31, 2016 [8 favorites]
Fucking with people's anything as a prank is a shitty idea, but that seems to be an ongoing popular riff in our culture. --Excuse me; you humans' culture. Feh.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:58 PM on March 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:58 PM on March 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
To be clear, I think the Cornhub thing is harmlessly silly. The Gmail thing is not.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:59 PM on March 31, 2016
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:59 PM on March 31, 2016
I grew up in Illinois and find this mindblowingly enticing.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 11:05 PM on March 31, 2016 [12 favorites]
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 11:05 PM on March 31, 2016 [12 favorites]
There is a big popup the first time you click Reply explaining the new button in the UI, and archiving an email chain in gmail doesn't mean responses won't show up in your inbox.
The bug is not the actual use of the Send + Mic Drop button; the bug is that if you do a dry run of the Send + Mic Drop with no recipients, and then later send that draft out under the normal Send button the result is still sneaky minions! Minions for days! This is how the world burns.
posted by jetlagaddict at 11:07 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
The bug is not the actual use of the Send + Mic Drop button; the bug is that if you do a dry run of the Send + Mic Drop with no recipients, and then later send that draft out under the normal Send button the result is still sneaky minions! Minions for days! This is how the world burns.
posted by jetlagaddict at 11:07 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
But the question is, does it make me angry enough to stop using Gmail?
I think it actually does for me! The total lack of awareness of the level of trust users expect from a vital communication medium is really, really offputting. It's like if the USPS sold parallel sets of April Fool's Day stamps that looked sort of like normal stamps but turn into a dick pic when exposed to sunlight. Or something. You can be lulzy and pranky, or you can be a trusted medium. I think Gmail planted its flag tonight.
posted by threeants at 11:08 PM on March 31, 2016 [5 favorites]
I think it actually does for me! The total lack of awareness of the level of trust users expect from a vital communication medium is really, really offputting. It's like if the USPS sold parallel sets of April Fool's Day stamps that looked sort of like normal stamps but turn into a dick pic when exposed to sunlight. Or something. You can be lulzy and pranky, or you can be a trusted medium. I think Gmail planted its flag tonight.
posted by threeants at 11:08 PM on March 31, 2016 [5 favorites]
Wow, that gmail thing is bad. I decamped for fastmail and a custom domain a while back and I've never regretted it.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 11:13 PM on March 31, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by vibratory manner of working at 11:13 PM on March 31, 2016 [5 favorites]
Searched for "hardcorn," left satisfied.
More seriously, what are some delicious popcorm kernels I can make appear in my house? Or even my belly? Right now we're going through a sampler from Fireworks which is fine -- the baby white was especially numnums -- but I'm always on the lookout for superior popcorms. (whirlypop, a couple teaspoons to a tablespoon of olive oil, a little flavacol, maybe a shaky-shaky topping or just some pepper or cajun seasoning in with the oil)
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:14 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
More seriously, what are some delicious popcorm kernels I can make appear in my house? Or even my belly? Right now we're going through a sampler from Fireworks which is fine -- the baby white was especially numnums -- but I'm always on the lookout for superior popcorms. (whirlypop, a couple teaspoons to a tablespoon of olive oil, a little flavacol, maybe a shaky-shaky topping or just some pepper or cajun seasoning in with the oil)
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:14 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
I have the free grandfathered Google apps for business, I don't seem to have the orange mic drop button on any of my accounts.
posted by Hazelsmrf at 11:22 PM on March 31, 2016
posted by Hazelsmrf at 11:22 PM on March 31, 2016
This was well-timed (grabs recently made batch of popcorn)
posted by smidgen at 11:45 PM on March 31, 2016
posted by smidgen at 11:45 PM on March 31, 2016
Not to trivialize the Gmail awfulness, but the Google Maps mobile app offline areas download had a cool "Funky Town" animation.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:48 PM on March 31, 2016
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:48 PM on March 31, 2016
I think this tweet sums it up pretty well:
gmail doing an april fools honestly kind of is like if my bank did one or a health insurance site did
Whether Gmail likes it or not, the product is basically a utility at this point, and folks really don't take kindly to having essential communication services messed with like this.
posted by threeants at 11:50 PM on March 31, 2016 [9 favorites]
gmail doing an april fools honestly kind of is like if my bank did one or a health insurance site did
Whether Gmail likes it or not, the product is basically a utility at this point, and folks really don't take kindly to having essential communication services messed with like this.
posted by threeants at 11:50 PM on March 31, 2016 [9 favorites]
It seems that the business accounts were spared though, are there a lot of people doing business with @gmail.com addresses? Wouldn't that kind of be like using hotmail for business? I use the gmail interface with my own domain and I don't have that mic drop thing on there.
posted by Hazelsmrf at 11:55 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Hazelsmrf at 11:55 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
Japanese lesbians kissing, with octopus on their heads, tenderly sharing tentacles.
It exists. I saw it. Thanks internet. If this wasn't a real fetish, it is now. The internet has been a revelation for those into kinky stuff.
It's nacho business what cornholers do in private.
posted by adept256 at 12:10 AM on April 1, 2016
It exists. I saw it. Thanks internet. If this wasn't a real fetish, it is now. The internet has been a revelation for those into kinky stuff.
It's nacho business what cornholers do in private.
posted by adept256 at 12:10 AM on April 1, 2016
Japanese lesbians kissing, with octopus on their heads, tenderly sharing tentacles.
You only just saw that... or you only just saw that with corn?
(I missed April 1 in Australia... now I have the horror of North America waking up).
posted by Mezentian at 12:15 AM on April 1, 2016
You only just saw that... or you only just saw that with corn?
(I missed April 1 in Australia... now I have the horror of North America waking up).
posted by Mezentian at 12:15 AM on April 1, 2016
Boilermonster: What kind of lightweight joint are you running there? Where I work, no bottle's set aside till it's completely empty.
posted by Paul Slade at 12:41 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Paul Slade at 12:41 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
Hazelsmrf: "I have the free grandfathered Google apps for business, I don't seem to have the orange mic drop button on any of my accounts."
Also doesn't effect mail sent via clients like Thunderbird.
posted by Mitheral at 12:47 AM on April 1, 2016
Also doesn't effect mail sent via clients like Thunderbird.
posted by Mitheral at 12:47 AM on April 1, 2016
Also I wonder if Google licensed that image. If not they have opened themselves up to a huge copyright infringement liability.
posted by Mitheral at 12:49 AM on April 1, 2016
posted by Mitheral at 12:49 AM on April 1, 2016
Considering the amount of people selling minion stuff and Disney stuff etc on Etsy with no legal action, I think they don't care all that much.
posted by Hazelsmrf at 12:54 AM on April 1, 2016
posted by Hazelsmrf at 12:54 AM on April 1, 2016
Google dropped the mic drop before Midnight US Pacific Time.
It's gonna be (already is?) a long day.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:59 AM on April 1, 2016
It's gonna be (already is?) a long day.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:59 AM on April 1, 2016
Just 3 days ago I moved email from Google to a paid provider. The cost is a pittance, the web UI is kinda crappy, but it's REAL IMAP (tm) and I know I won't be subject to any upsell, poor attempts to reel me into some social circle, etc etc. It's an email account, that's all.
Today's action confirms that I'll be happier dealing with a grown up company.
posted by parki at 4:17 AM on April 1, 2016
Today's action confirms that I'll be happier dealing with a grown up company.
posted by parki at 4:17 AM on April 1, 2016
Really?!? So now it's acceptable on Metafilter to objectify corn?!?
[Drops mic]
Sorry. Couldn't resist.
posted by MexicanYenta at 4:24 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
[Drops mic]
Sorry. Couldn't resist.
posted by MexicanYenta at 4:24 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
Has anyone clicked on the corn videos? Someone took the time to make those. There are at least 10 of them. I don't know whether I'm impressed or weirded out.
posted by chainsofreedom at 5:17 AM on April 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by chainsofreedom at 5:17 AM on April 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
I mean obviously the ones that are just corn processing plants didn't take a lot to make, just pull that from How It's Made, but the ones with the corns who had baby corn arms and legs took some actual effort.
posted by chainsofreedom at 5:19 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by chainsofreedom at 5:19 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
Oh, god.
I just did. There are comments.
Actual Pornhub comments:
With headphones you can hear her crunch mmmmm
And, of course:
I bet there are some people out there that are really into corn but can never find sexy videos of them but today's their day, today's their day to relax, call in sick to work, sit at their computer screen with a 5 gallon bottle of lotion, and just enjoy themselves for the day. Goodbye corn documentaries, hello erotic corn videos. So come out my brothers, come out of the dark there is no need to be ashamed anymore. Let us Cornholios unite and express our true love for corn. I FUCKING LOVE CORN!
And, the old standard:
Hot, would eat dat out erryday... mmm
posted by Mezentian at 5:26 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
I just did. There are comments.
Actual Pornhub comments:
With headphones you can hear her crunch mmmmm
And, of course:
I bet there are some people out there that are really into corn but can never find sexy videos of them but today's their day, today's their day to relax, call in sick to work, sit at their computer screen with a 5 gallon bottle of lotion, and just enjoy themselves for the day. Goodbye corn documentaries, hello erotic corn videos. So come out my brothers, come out of the dark there is no need to be ashamed anymore. Let us Cornholios unite and express our true love for corn. I FUCKING LOVE CORN!
And, the old standard:
Hot, would eat dat out erryday... mmm
posted by Mezentian at 5:26 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
Didn't they do this prank in at least one previous year?
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 5:58 AM on April 1, 2016
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 5:58 AM on April 1, 2016
I think that was Prawnhub.
posted by Mezentian at 6:09 AM on April 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Mezentian at 6:09 AM on April 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
From a workshop in Portland, a product originally by a MeFi project: Quilted Northern Rustic Weave.
posted by Wordshore at 7:08 AM on April 1, 2016
posted by Wordshore at 7:08 AM on April 1, 2016
The special touch at the end of Aria Slobs the Cob was perfect. Well, worth the wait.
Oh, and: Thanks! to Wordshore for Quilted Northern Rustic Weave. I've forwarded it to my entire family (for their edification).
posted by cleroy at 7:47 AM on April 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh, and: Thanks! to Wordshore for Quilted Northern Rustic Weave. I've forwarded it to my entire family (for their edification).
posted by cleroy at 7:47 AM on April 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
Not cool of gmail to put my corn fetish in my e-mails, really not cool
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:00 AM on April 1, 2016
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:00 AM on April 1, 2016
Not cool of gmail to put my corn fetish in my e-mails, really not cool
So ... they're stalking you?
posted by zippy at 9:31 AM on April 1, 2016 [3 favorites]
So ... they're stalking you?
posted by zippy at 9:31 AM on April 1, 2016 [3 favorites]
Mysteriously, the service records of one James "Logan" Howlett have been declassified by Library and Archives Canada today.
Logan’s journals provide valuable insight into his early life in Canada, including work as a miner in a British Columbia stone quarry, a fur trader for the Hudson's Bay Company, and a homesteader in the Canadian Rockies. His military career spanned multiple conflicts, making his personnel records an unprecedented study in Canadian military history. Logan was gravely wounded in action many times, and gained a reputation as a gritty survivor.
posted by bonehead at 9:34 AM on April 1, 2016
Logan’s journals provide valuable insight into his early life in Canada, including work as a miner in a British Columbia stone quarry, a fur trader for the Hudson's Bay Company, and a homesteader in the Canadian Rockies. His military career spanned multiple conflicts, making his personnel records an unprecedented study in Canadian military history. Logan was gravely wounded in action many times, and gained a reputation as a gritty survivor.
posted by bonehead at 9:34 AM on April 1, 2016
I can't stop giggling over this.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:35 AM on April 1, 2016
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:35 AM on April 1, 2016
Is this where we drop all the April Fools pranks we find? Because this is one my old company did today.
I still would never recommend them, because they screw up 50% of all orders and they're terrible to work for, but it's a cute prank.
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:48 AM on April 1, 2016
I still would never recommend them, because they screw up 50% of all orders and they're terrible to work for, but it's a cute prank.
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:48 AM on April 1, 2016
Can we just do away with April Fools already?
posted by kafziel at 10:11 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by kafziel at 10:11 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
> there *is* very, very NSFW advertising appearing on it.
Ads? What are those? I don't support the use of malware delivery systems: surf responsibly.
posted by I-Write-Essays at 11:07 AM on April 1, 2016
Ads? What are those? I don't support the use of malware delivery systems: surf responsibly.
posted by I-Write-Essays at 11:07 AM on April 1, 2016
Can we just do away with April Fools already?
Wow what the fuck?
posted by atoxyl at 11:09 AM on April 1, 2016
Wow what the fuck?
posted by atoxyl at 11:09 AM on April 1, 2016
Once a year I get to share one of my favorite moments in cinematic history. Do yourself a favor and look up 'Troll 2: corn seduction'
posted by ogre48 at 12:29 PM on April 1, 2016
posted by ogre48 at 12:29 PM on April 1, 2016
“Stopped fooling on April Fools Day when it became, ‘Exercise My Silent Resentment On People Through Thinly Veiled Hostile Retribution Day.’”— alan tudyk (@alan_tudyk) April 1, 2016posted by ob1quixote at 12:49 PM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
“first video from #WatchtheStove ‘Crazy’”— Helper (@helper) April 1, 2016posted by ob1quixote at 8:00 PM on April 1, 2016
“Laughter Doesn’t Scale,” Medium Track Changes, 01 April 2016
posted by ob1quixote at 1:53 PM on April 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by ob1quixote at 1:53 PM on April 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
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posted by gwint at 9:38 PM on March 31, 2016 [10 favorites]