Next year in JeRUsalem

April 22, 2016 9:37 AM

A cruel Pharoah ruled over the Jews, commanding them to raise the pyramids, and WORK, BITCH!
posted by poffin boffin (33 comments total)

I got to "2. Frogs" and almost nose-booted coffee all over my keyboard.
posted by rtha at 9:42 AM on April 22, 2016

why can't I print GIFs
posted by griphus at 9:45 AM on April 22, 2016 [3 favorites]

because THE LORD wants to you act them out in costume instead

anyway looks like i found that haggadah you asked for
posted by poffin boffin at 9:47 AM on April 22, 2016 [12 favorites]

If I wanted a campy Passover I would just watch "The Ten Commandments."

Which is my plan for tonight. This is my Haggadah.
posted by maxsparber at 10:00 AM on April 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

"Carson Kressley, always looking for a shofar to blow."
posted by sobell at 10:04 AM on April 22, 2016 [10 favorites]

This would go way over the head of about 95% of the Jews I know.
posted by Melismata at 10:04 AM on April 22, 2016

And 98% of the Gentiles.
posted by Bruce H. at 10:26 AM on April 22, 2016 [4 favorites]

So pretty much like any haggadah then.
posted by griphus at 10:27 AM on April 22, 2016 [19 favorites]

The four questions are basically who? what? why? huh?
posted by maxsparber at 10:29 AM on April 22, 2016 [4 favorites]

accompanied by "MaNishtana (Bread of Affliction remix)" by Junior Vasquez [feat. Martha Wash]
posted by poffin boffin at 10:30 AM on April 22, 2016 [7 favorites]

I always like that we call Egypt the House of Bondage. I lived near the House of Bondage when I lived in Hollywood in the 90s.
posted by maxsparber at 10:31 AM on April 22, 2016 [10 favorites]

The four questions are basically who? what? why? huh?

I love this formulation
posted by clockzero at 10:33 AM on April 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

Given that we are probably going to skip my family Seder tonight to stay home and watch old episodes of Drag Race, this is EXTREMELY relevant to my interests.
posted by babelfish at 10:35 AM on April 22, 2016 [10 favorites]

tonight's vogue femme finalists are moses, representing the house of levi, and ramses bondage
posted by poffin boffin at 10:36 AM on April 22, 2016 [6 favorites]

Bob the Drag Queen could probably do a whole seder on her own.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 10:52 AM on April 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

Michelle is totally going to read Pharaoh for that eye make-up.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:43 AM on April 22, 2016

4 glasses of manischewitz? um, how big are the glasses?
posted by pyramid termite at 11:50 AM on April 22, 2016

So let it be written,

snapsnapsnap

So let it be done.
posted by Splunge at 11:56 AM on April 22, 2016 [5 favorites]

ok it was honestly just a throwaway joke comment but now i can't stop thinking about how you could legit do a mashup of ma nishtana with a deeper love and now i'm like, is it REALLY that illogical to download a cracked copy of reason 8? is it?
posted by poffin boffin at 12:15 PM on April 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

why can't I print GIFs

What is this I keep hearing about 4D printers
posted by beerperson at 12:27 PM on April 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

Mod note: Deleted jerkish derail, please reload thread to see if you're responding to something already deleted. If you see it continue, please flag it.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 12:40 PM on April 22, 2016

Little-known tidbit of old testament apocrypha but that's actually how the red sea was parted.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:47 PM on April 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

4 glasses of manischewitz? um, how big are the glasses?

It is pretty much grape juice.

OK, intoxicating grape juice, but still.
posted by thomas j wise at 1:07 PM on April 22, 2016

Giving me life.
posted by msbutah at 2:16 PM on April 22, 2016

I'm sorry, not even Latrice Motherfucking Royale is going to convince me to eat gefiltefish.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 2:36 PM on April 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

The Jews sayshayed through the desert for 40 days? Well, that explains some things.
posted by BlueHorse at 3:19 PM on April 22, 2016

please also enjoy the Beyonceder

wonder of wonders indeed
posted by poffin boffin at 3:20 PM on April 22, 2016 [4 favorites]

This is what I have been waiting for.
posted by Mchelly at 3:46 PM on April 22, 2016

I am yearly reminded I need to sign my daughter up for sunday school. I'll be out in the car cruising reddit on the smartphone rather than in actual church, but I think she would benefit from understanding the culture she's in from the inside out, and rejecting it in her own good time.

Yes, I understand the story of Passover as an Episcopalian brought up through sunday school. Yes, "Frogs" was the funniest part of this. My sister, also an atheist, was trying to explain Christmas the year before last at my folks' house, and my kid came home all excited about "The Legend of Baby Jesus."

So, yeah, sunday school.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:50 PM on April 22, 2016

More surreal Passover fun with Bobby Conn.
posted by pattern juggler at 2:08 AM on April 23, 2016

Come on pestilence let's get SICKENIIIIIIIING
posted by en forme de poire at 4:07 AM on April 23, 2016 [3 favorites]

Where has this been all my life??!!
posted by chicainthecity at 8:15 AM on April 23, 2016

I'm sorry, not even Latrice Motherfucking Royale is going to convince me to eat gefiltefish.

I like gefiltefish. Just call me Goy Wonder.
posted by jonmc at 8:19 AM on April 24, 2016