Red vs Grey
April 28, 2016 5:34 AM   Subscribe

The American Revolution looks easy compared to the problem of grey squirrels.

Linked in the article: But over time the red squirrel became beloved in Britain. It supplanted the realm’s old icon, the lion, as the symbol of a gentler, more evolved nation. There was Squirrel Nutkin, Potter’s irreverent playful red, and also Tufty Fluffytail, the Safety Squirrel, a public-service creation whose warnings about danger on the road began in the early 1950s and lasted until the ’80s. As the red rose in popularity, the gray sank in public esteem. Potter’s attempt to follow up Squirrel Nutkin with a story about a gray squirrel, Timmy Tiptoes, did not achieve the same success. In 1922, a government permanent secretary was quoted in The Times of London calling grays “sneaking, thieving, fascinating little alien villains.”
posted by veedubya (40 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
Its about time the British turned the tables and portrayed an American as the villain in one of their stories... God knows we Americans try to do that with almost every English accented actor in our movies.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:55 AM on April 28, 2016


Yeah, but in return North America got the starlings, house sparrows, cats, dogs, black rats, brown rats, and wild boars.

...and smallpox laden white people.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:56 AM on April 28, 2016 [15 favorites]


They’re aggressive. They’re big. They’re stealing resources from the natives, they carry disease. They cost Britain millions of pounds a year and they’re breeding.

Think how much more upset nativist Britons will get when they learn that the squirrels are actually black:

The black subgroup seems to have been predominant throughout North America prior to the arrival of Europeans in the 16th century, as its dark color helped them hide in old growth forests which tended to be very dense and shaded. As time passed, hunting and deforestation led to biological advantages for grey coloured individuals
posted by leotrotsky at 5:59 AM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm all for saving the red squirrel but it doesn't need saving. Plenty of red squirrels in Eurasia so this is not about species extinction.

This kind of debate really brings out the xenophobes.

See also the heated debate about British birds as opposed to those foreign migrants. Quote from the linked article: “I don’t class these birds as British, so why are we listening to them?”

Or those nasty Spanish bluebells which are invading and displacing the English bluebells. The fact that English bluebells smell better comes from here. By, the way, they look pretty much the same.
posted by vacapinta at 6:08 AM on April 28, 2016


We've got some red squirrels here in North America that will chase away the grey squirrels, if you want to double down.
posted by cardboard at 6:08 AM on April 28, 2016 [4 favorites]


And though much of the wide geographic distribution of grey squirrels can be attributed to squirrel-spreading Victorian gentlemen, they are also keen explorers themselves and will frequently seek out new territory to colonize. “I always think they’re a bit like a Roman legion,” says Vass, of the grey squirrels’ impulse to seek new areas.
I too cannot think of any other country known for colonizing lots of new areas, killing off native species or forcing them to the outskirts of their areas.
posted by jeather at 6:12 AM on April 28, 2016 [12 favorites]


Comparing American squirrels to Roman legions is ridiculous. They have built zero roads.
posted by srboisvert at 6:17 AM on April 28, 2016 [26 favorites]


...and not a single wall.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:20 AM on April 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


But our crayfish are digging lots of tunnels! And generally mucking things up over there.
posted by zakur at 6:23 AM on April 28, 2016




We've got some red squirrels here in North America that will chase away the grey squirrels, if you want to double down.

Sure, it's all fun and games now, but in three years, this is going to be one of those escalating-predation scenarios that ends with the entire island covered in giant Peruvian bat-eating centipedes.
posted by Mayor West at 6:27 AM on April 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


But our crayfish are digging lots of tunnels! And generally mucking things up over there.

As a show of American goodwill, I hereby pledge to do whatever is within my power to help eliminate this invasive species plaguing the British Isles. I require only a net, a large pot, and a pickup truck full of Old Bay seasoning.
posted by Mayor West at 6:30 AM on April 28, 2016 [20 favorites]


Sure, we'll take back the squirrels as long as they take back the starlings. All 150 million of them.
posted by tommasz at 6:37 AM on April 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


America's invasive species are vicious mussels, snake faced fish that travel on land, and beetles which wipe out entire tree species. Europe gets our cute and cuddly critters. Meh.

That said, the English obviously prefer gray squirrels since Merlin chose to turn himself and the future King Arthur into the species.*




*Subversive American propaganda from the beginning!
posted by Atreides at 6:46 AM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


That description of squirrelpox... "turns the soft tissues around their eyes, ears and nose to sludge"...
posted by lineofsight at 6:48 AM on April 28, 2016


Mayor West, I was with you right up until the Old Bay. Everyone knows Zatarain's is best. They even make a great seasoning (Creole Spice) for squirrel fricassee.
posted by domo at 7:01 AM on April 28, 2016


Catching large numbers of signal crayfish in the Thames is now part of our summer, so there is that going for them. Nom.
posted by pharm at 7:02 AM on April 28, 2016


This reminds me that when I was looking for a company to get squirrels out of my attic, people kept reassuring me "Oh, THIS company will be humane and won't kill them!" I had to restrain myself from saying how much I don't care. We are not running out of squirrels. I don't want dead ones stinking up my house, and I don't want them to unduly suffer, but otherwise? Not terribly concerned with their survival. If the squirrel dude wants to take them home and make squirrel soup, more power to him.
posted by emjaybee at 7:03 AM on April 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


Sure, we'll take back the squirrels as long as they take back the starlings. All 150 million of them.

Taking back implies that they forced them on us. It was actually an "eccentric drug manufacturer" (NYT's description) named Eugene Schieffelin who introduced starlings when he released 100 of them in Central Park.
posted by blucevalo at 7:13 AM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


It's not just a British issue though. In Ireland the gray squirrel has made it pretty much as far as the Shannon, but not yet across it. And thanks to the rising population of pine martens (which, of course, is an issue for some. Not that I believe a pine marten can kill a sheep, but there ya go) it may be that some sort of a balance will work itself out.
posted by Fence at 7:39 AM on April 28, 2016


Now I really want a red squirrel pet. Those ears!
posted by numaner at 7:44 AM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


I was with you right up until the Old Bay. Everyone knows Zatarain's is best.

On behalf of the state of Maryland: no.
posted by nonasuch at 7:46 AM on April 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


I was with you right up until the Old Bay. Everyone knows Zatarain's is best.

I prefer the Zatarain's, too, but if I can't always find it in my grocer in New England, I can't imagine it'll be in stock at the local Tesco. Luckily, you can improve the effect of your Old Bay boil by adding enough cayenne that it aerosolizes out of the water and drives the novices out of the room rubbing their eyes and breathing through their shirtsleeves.
posted by Mayor West at 8:08 AM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


I will happily offer the residents of the British Isles my family's squirrel and dumpling recipe.
I envy people with extra squirrels.
posted by Seamus at 8:15 AM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm all for saving the red squirrel but it doesn't need saving. Plenty of red squirrels in Eurasia so this is not about species extinction.

Grey squirrels are spreading in mainland Europe too. At some point this won't be a vague debate about racism or xenophobia, but about actually saving a whole species from extinction. We can't really count them as nativized in the UK and Ireland if they're still wiping out an existing species. Let's put another dodo on the barbie, yeah, cause there are still plenty left?

Moreover, invasive species isn't exactly a concept got up by pseudo-racists to further some nefarious end. It's a serious problem which many countries police very strictly. Is it racist for Australia to want to control rabbits? Or the United States to cut down kudzu? Do you insist that cat owners keep their pets indoors because of the harm to birdlife? Is that racism? If folks in the US want to kill off starlings then do so, I promise not to throw the racism charge back at you.

There is a whole knot of problems about what counts as native, to be sure, and I'm not certain in the long run it will mean much. Biodiversity is declining and extinction is happening all the time and we most likely cannot or will not stop it because the problems are too big and too expensive to solve. But to refuse to even try to save a species to score a political point? That's cold, that's really cold, and it's the point where politics needs to get its nose out of science.

The key equation is simple: there are fewer red squirrels because of grey squirrels, and grey squirrels only occur in the red squirrels' range because of human intervention. Humans screwed up; humans should try to put it right.
posted by Emma May Smith at 8:29 AM on April 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


"Now, upwards of 3 million grey squirrels live in the UK."

Seriously!? We've got at least 65 million in Kingston, Ontario.
posted by crazylegs at 8:38 AM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


The grey vs red argument is a convenient mask to the effect that habitat reduction — that is, human impact — has had on the UK red population. Reds need diverse coniferous woodland, and not just the sitka plantations. We've killed that habitat, so we're killing red squirrels. I'm sure that Prince Bigears and his landowner chums on the Squirrel Accord have never done anything to promote monoculture …

I wish UK red squirrels were more like the Canadian reds. Those cute little bastards know no fear. I've had them run down branches at me, screaming, chattering and threatening to bite my face off.
posted by scruss at 8:44 AM on April 28, 2016 [8 favorites]


The grey squirrels are mating these days in my area. Wow. They could qualify for the Daytona 500.
posted by Melismata at 8:48 AM on April 28, 2016


Forget about the grays. Just wait until they get a load of these mutant coal-black squirrels we've been breeding over here.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:51 AM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


The grey vs red argument is a convenient mask to the effect that habitat reduction — that is, human impact — has had on the UK red population. Reds need diverse coniferous woodland, and not just the sitka plantations. We've killed that habitat, so we're killing red squirrels. I'm sure that Prince Bigears and his landowner chums on the Squirrel Accord have never done anything to promote monoculture …

If you're suggesting that the UK should get rid of pine plantations as well as grey squirrels, then yes please. Woodlands--if you can even call them that--where the trees are so tightly packed that even bracken doesn't grow, aren't exactly adding much to biodiversity as a whole. It's amazing to see the difference as you walk from an old growth deciduous woodland into a plantation, and it's obvious which is better for nature.
posted by Emma May Smith at 8:56 AM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


nonasuch, have you had Zatarain's? Do they even sell it in Maine? Come to New Orleans, we'll send you back 10 lbs heavier. 20 lbs if you stay more than a weekend.
posted by domo at 8:57 AM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


I though it had been established that if farmers stop eradicating polecats they clear out the greys and then the reds, who can cope somewhat better, return?
posted by Segundus at 9:12 AM on April 28, 2016


I don't know if it's still the case but there was an albino gene running through the population of black squirrels at the Queen Street mental hospital in Toronto. It was neat to see a few of them at a time. When the facility was expanded a few years ago they named one of the new streets White Squirrel Way.
posted by bonobothegreat at 9:31 AM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Out here in Puget Sound country, the grey squirrel is not native and tends to crowd out the native red squirrels. We have both in our yard. Because of their smaller size, the red squirrel is more likely to be taken by cats and birds of prey, another strike against them. Mind you, our reds don't get the huge cute ears.

As far as invasive species go, the Himalayan blackberry and Scotch broom (both Eurasian natives) are the big winners here. English ivy is almost as bad as kudzu is in places, too. I would say the ship has sailed on all three of those, there is simply no way to get that genie back in the bottle.
posted by maxwelton at 11:30 AM on April 28, 2016


I haven't seen prevalent black squirrels here in MD suburbs of DC since my college days. I miss them but I can imagine their chances for survival are slim around here.

Also, Old Bay on everything.
posted by numaner at 12:23 PM on April 28, 2016


As a show of American goodwill, I hereby pledge to do whatever is within my power to help eliminate this invasive species plaguing the British Isles. I require only a net, a large pot, and a pickup truck full of Old Bay seasoning.

You jest but the BBC's Countrywide show had a segment about 8 years ago with a man trying to persuade people to fish for American crawdads in the canals using discarded bicycle wheels as traps.
posted by srboisvert at 1:04 PM on April 28, 2016


Really, numaner? I've lived in the DC area my whole life, and I feel like I've seen more black squirrels in the last five years or so than I ever did before-- they were nonexistent here when I was a kid, and these days I at least see them occasionally.

(also, domo, don't worry, we've got our seafood situation handled. If you're ever in Maryland and need directions to a pile of Old Bay-crusted blue crabs on a table covered in brown paper, let me know.)
posted by nonasuch at 3:09 PM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Zatarains is sold here in California; in fact, their boxed Jamnalaya and Dirty Rice mixes are on sale this week at Albertsons/Safeway for slightly less than Rice-A-Roni (which they are on the shelf next to... not sure if that's a compliment to the brand or a diss). Old Bay is in the Cal supermarkets too, in the "undefined seasonings that aren't specifically ethnic" shelf.

As for squirrels, they are among my favorite non-domestic fuzzy animals (behind otters, capybaras and wombats and just ahead of raccoons and their red panda cousins), but that's primarily because of their media presence where squirrels have been outclassing chipmunks ever since Tex Avery's Screwy Squirrel was 10X more anarchist than Disney's Chip and Dale (who, like the only other famous chipmunks, Alvin & Co.. just keep getting recycled and rebooted). Of course Rocky the Flying Squirrel has always been the most heroic of small mammals (and I just wish June Foray would go on the record that Rocky always was a girl, not a boy), while The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl is singlehandedly bringing back zaniness to superhero comics. Slappy Squirrel was always the best character on Animaniacs and Sandy Cheeks the best on the Spongebob show. And come on, admit it, Danger Mouse was a pale copy of Secret Squirrel. Interesting that squirrels seem to be the species most likely to be shown as female in cartoons and comics (and I'm counting June Foray's Rocky). If somebody told that to Queen Liz, I suspect she'd turn the British attitude toward squirrels around very quickly. (Get their attention back onto badgers)
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:39 PM on April 28, 2016


There was a bit on the BBC One show, Secret Britain, last night that showed a red squirrel reintroduction project on a military base near where I grew up in Northern Ireland. Bonus points for the amazing shots of the Mourne Mountains. Here it is on iplayer.

Apparently the base is one of the few places in Northern Ireland where they can be confident there are no greys.
posted by knapah at 12:23 AM on April 29, 2016


I take umbrage with this article! Alan Titchmarsh is not Britain's favourite television gardener.
posted by asok at 3:44 AM on April 29, 2016


« Older Frampton Comes Alive! (on NPR)   |   Farewell to a Congolese music legend Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments