There’s a heart container and a 300 rupee chest up there

May 4, 2016 9:09 AM

My hotel has a sitting area with no possible way to access it
posted by griphus (55 comments total)

No doubt, a metaphor for the human heart. Or something.
posted by ubiquity at 9:13 AM on May 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

Have they tried swinging from the chandelier?
posted by the webmistress at 9:16 AM on May 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

idspispopd

Problem solved.
posted by SansPoint at 9:17 AM on May 4, 2016 [12 favorites]

The theater in my hometown had similar inside. It was like this nice patio setup, but up high behind a railing, and there was no way to go up to it.

I bet there is a term of art for these things.
posted by OwlBoy at 9:21 AM on May 4, 2016

I've seen this a lot in hotels and other spaces. It is always so weird.
posted by Kitteh at 9:22 AM on May 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

I've actually got an area much like this in my house. It's not as deep, though. Maybe 60 cm deep and close to 5 meters across. What should I put there?
posted by Harald74 at 9:25 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

If video games have taught me anything, this cat has a side quest to offer me.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:28 AM on May 4, 2016 [70 favorites]

I'm like 90 percent certain that's the Best Western in Oklahoma City.
posted by pwnguin at 9:29 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

Harald74: That is the perfect size for a stuffed (as in taxidermied, not plush) alligator.
posted by Atrahasis at 9:29 AM on May 4, 2016 [12 favorites]

Ctrl+f "ladder"

Hmmm, nothing?
posted by I-baLL at 9:30 AM on May 4, 2016

I've actually got an area much like this in my house. It's not as deep, though. Maybe 60 cm deep and close to 5 meters across. What should I put there?

Probably an easter egg, like maybe a credits sequence?
posted by Elementary Penguin at 9:30 AM on May 4, 2016 [26 favorites]

What are they talking about? There is a window RIGHT THERE.

* puts on spidey suit *
posted by Elly Vortex at 9:31 AM on May 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

I had an area like this in a house I lived in. I set up a diorama with some stuffed animals having tea.
posted by caphector at 9:34 AM on May 4, 2016 [15 favorites]

Ctrl+f "ladder"

Hmmm, nothing?

A bag-of-holding with enough slots would have a level requirement higher than the current level cap. Therefore, there MUST be a way to access it without a ladder and simply getting a ladder is clearly impossible.
posted by VTX at 9:35 AM on May 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

That person has obviously never played portal.
posted by blue_beetle at 9:39 AM on May 4, 2016 [6 favorites]

I've actually got an area much like this in my house. It's not as deep, though. Maybe 60 cm deep and close to 5 meters across. What should I put there?

A simple wooden pedestal with an old timey telephone that rings occasionally when you have guests. When it does, never acknowledge it.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:43 AM on May 4, 2016 [62 favorites]

"A bag-of-holding with enough slots would have a level requirement higher than the current level cap. Therefore, there MUST be a way to access it without a ladder and simply getting a ladder is clearly impossible.
"

Didn't need any of that in Donkey Kong.
posted by I-baLL at 9:43 AM on May 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

ISG bomb hover.
posted by yeolcoatl at 9:45 AM on May 4, 2016

Rocket launcher to the feet, duh?
posted by Sphinx at 9:48 AM on May 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

Maybe 60 cm deep and close to 5 meters across. What should I put there?

Bookshelves, with one of those library ladder with wheels leading up to it.
posted by fings at 9:56 AM on May 4, 2016 [9 favorites]

Trade the frog to the janitor to get the broom, give the red paperclip to the caterpillar to get the hacksaw. Combine the broom and the hacksaw to make a pile of sticks. Look under the shoe in the park for a wad of chewing gum. Go to the museum and use the rock from the zen garden to steal the sword. Use the sword on the troll to get the troll hair. Combine the pile of sticks the chewing gum and the troll hair to make a ladder. Then trade the ladder to the giant bat for a ride up to the balcony.
posted by yeolcoatl at 9:58 AM on May 4, 2016 [39 favorites]

which is better, the people in this thread making jokes that were in the link because they didn't read it
or the people favoriting those jokes because they also didn't read it
posted by beerperson at 9:59 AM on May 4, 2016 [28 favorites]

Close your eyes.

You could do the Indiana Jones trick and throw a handful of sand back once you're across, I suppose, so a partner can follow.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 10:00 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

Just gotta get Blink up to Tier II. It's only 3 runes FFS.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:00 AM on May 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

This really makes me want to go into that hotel in the wee hours with a folding ladder, climb up, pull the ladder up after me, hide it, and spend the entire day sitting there quietly reading a book. Leaving everyone to wonder how the hell I got up there.

(Even better: Sneak in after hours, with a fake doorknob and some trim board - nail the board up in the shape of a door, add doorknob, and let people spend years trying to figure out where the hell the other side of the door is so they can get up there)
posted by caution live frogs at 10:01 AM on May 4, 2016 [6 favorites]

Hmm, some good suggestions, people. But don't I need to be a wizard to procure a stuffed alligator? The telephone could certainly be arranged. Maybe hooked up to a numbers station somehow?

Library ladder would certainly be welcomed by my 8 and 5 yo boys...
posted by Harald74 at 10:04 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

I smell a wumpus.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 10:15 AM on May 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

This seems to me like something designed to keep that area clean. It's brilliant. When I build my dream home, I will set up all the bathrooms that way and then I will never have to scrub the toilet.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 10:21 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

The Olive Garden by our house has an area like this, with a wrought iron table and two chairs. The table has a tablecloth and napkin rolls with (I'm guessing) silverware, and there are flowers on the table. Every time I look at it, I wonder whose job it is to get up there and dust it and change the table linens and what a pain in the ass that must be.
posted by ralan at 10:22 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

A simple wooden pedestal with an old timey telephone that rings occasionally when you have guests. When it does, never acknowledge it.

My previous house had a wireless doorbell system. Once in a while it would emit a single "dong" (without the preceding "ding"). If it did that during a party, we just said it was our resident ghost George.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:24 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

Embassy Suites in either Memphis or Charlotte, I can't remember which.
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 10:25 AM on May 4, 2016

Rocket jump, motherfucker.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:26 AM on May 4, 2016

Pretty sure I saw that in F.E.A.R. 2. Seriously.
posted by One Hand Slowclapping at 10:27 AM on May 4, 2016

Obiously this is art.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 10:33 AM on May 4, 2016

Obviously, you can't get there until you defeat a level boss and get Space Jump power.
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:33 AM on May 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

beerperson which is better, the people in this thread making jokes that were in the link because they didn't read it or the people favoriting those jokes because they also didn't read it

In both threads I see a lot of variations on one core joke, but I haven't seen any duplicate variations, so I'm not sure what you're talking about.
posted by yeolcoatl at 10:40 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

I've seen these before, and it just seems like the usual hotel Thing of putting seating areas all over the place. Here is an empty spot, what do we have to fill it? Oh yeah those chairs in storage, throw a table there too.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:41 AM on May 4, 2016

which is better, the people in this thread making jokes that were in the link because they didn't read it
or the people favoriting those jokes because they also didn't read it

So you're cross with people for not reading the comments?

Thank you for sharing.
posted by howfar at 10:46 AM on May 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

Kids, stop.
posted by mhoye at 10:49 AM on May 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

When I build my dream home, I will set up all the bathrooms that way and then I will never have to scrub the toilet.

Or water the plants.
posted by comealongpole at 10:50 AM on May 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

You get your main travel power at level 20. Take flight, super-jump or teleportation. Super speed will not help here.
posted by Splunge at 11:27 AM on May 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

Installed for the Parkour convention. Never used again.
posted by zakur at 12:36 PM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

As an econ major, this is simple. Just assume the ladder.
posted by AugustWest at 12:46 PM on May 4, 2016 [4 favorites]

Is this actually a quite clever perspective trick? Where the table is about a foot high and the chairs are about a foot wide, thus making you think the space is deeper & wider than it really is.
I think the flowers give it away, they seem out of proportion to the chairs.
posted by doiheartwentyone at 12:49 PM on May 4, 2016

Unfortunately, this is not the type of space for about 80-90+% of the unnecessary human-animal population on the planet.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:06 PM on May 4, 2016 [14 favorites]

That's the rock climber/boulderer lounge. Such a pissing match between custodial and maintenance about getting the chalk off. Custodial makes a valid point about it being ladder work and therefore not their area of responsibility but maint. has been such a pain in the ass about fit and finish. Not most of the chalk off, all the chalk off. Not half the problems of our other properties though.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 1:25 PM on May 4, 2016 [4 favorites]

You get your main travel power at level 20. Take flight, super-jump or teleportation. Super speed will not help here.

Too soon. :(
posted by curious nu at 1:28 PM on May 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

which is better, the people in this thread making jokes that were in the link because they didn't read it
or the people favoriting those jokes because they also didn't read it
posted by beerperson at 9:59 on May 4 [14 favorites +] [!]


Less beer more person, beerperson.
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:29 PM on May 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

You need the hover boots from the shadow temple under the graveyard. No problem.
posted by Wulfhere at 1:54 PM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

curious nu: "You get your main travel power at level 20. Take flight, super-jump or teleportation. Super speed will not help here.

Too soon. :("

I feel your pain, my CoH brother.
posted by Splunge at 1:55 PM on May 4, 2016

Do you people not recognize a physics puzzle when you see one?
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 2:32 PM on May 4, 2016

fuckin' procedurally generated buildings
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:06 PM on May 4, 2016 [6 favorites]

which is better, the people in this thread making jokes that were in the link because they didn't read it
or the people favoriting those jokes because they also didn't read it

The way this tumblr handles nested comments makes it literally unreadable on my phone. When I scroll, I see dozens of vertical lines and then eventually what is literally a single vertical column of characters running down the far-right margin of the screen. That's where I said "fuck this" and went back to MetaFilter where I can just read some damn comments and not deal with a bunch of user-hostile bullshit.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:00 PM on May 4, 2016 [13 favorites]

Chocolate Pickle: "Obiously this is art."

I've got to admit, Banksy's work has become rather pedestrian as of late.....
posted by schmod at 5:20 AM on May 5, 2016

which is better, the people in this thread making jokes that were in the link because they didn't read it or the people favoriting those jokes because they also didn't read it

Why would I read comments from random internet people when the mefite comments are so much better?
posted by VTX at 7:41 AM on May 5, 2016