Apparently we're putting pierogies on sandwiches now

May 11, 2016 5:49 AM

Planning a trip to a minor league baseball stadium? Looking to gawk at the delightful excesses of ballpark food? Just want to support your hometown team in a meaningless Internet poll? Whatever the reason, check out MiLB Food Fight and vote for Minor League Baseball's tastiest, or at least most bizarre, food. If you'd rather not vote, you can always just check out the leaderboard.
posted by Bulgaroktonos (44 comments total)

I would totally eat a frickle melt.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:54 AM on May 11, 2016

I would eat all of the savoury things listed, almost none of the sweet ones, and would run screaming from the shocking number of them that mix the two.

I really want a burger and some loaded fries now.
posted by Dysk at 5:58 AM on May 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Honestly, I would probably try almost all of them once, even the PBJ, bacon hot dog, and definitely all of the one's with the dumbest names, like the half pound kielbasa called "The Barge" or the Mount Dessert Island. I've got more curiosity than shame when it comes to stupid food.

Naturally, I voted for all of the North Carolina teams, including the Kannapolis Intimidators who put forward a plain tomato sandwich, which I find super charming, even if the picture makes it look like they didn't even bother to spread the mayonnaise for you.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:04 AM on May 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

I don't usually go for the state-fair fried-shit gimmick, but I am salivating an almost uncomfortable amount right now. Seriously, I might need a bib. I want all of these things.

Also it really hurt that I had to vote for a helmet full of nachos instead of my PSL Mets' ice cream sandwich. Because helmet full of nachos.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:06 AM on May 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

This is the fucking bomb. Great link.
posted by jonmc at 6:08 AM on May 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

I love minor league baseball. It's so much better in so many ways than the majors. Except, of course, the skill level of the players.
posted by slogger at 6:11 AM on May 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

ArbitraryAndCapricious: "I would totally eat a frickle melt."

"Ingredients: Deep-fried Frickles pickles, white cheddar cheese, sharp cheddar cheese, garlic butter spread toasted on garlic sourdough bread."

I'm in love.
posted by octothorpe at 6:11 AM on May 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

Given how many of them contain pulled pork and/or other barbecue, it is hilarious to me that Durham NC is represented by a cheesesteak.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:13 AM on May 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Love it. There's a really interesting thing about this because it represents a mashup of extreme food culture, local/regional culture and pride, and the commercialization/commodification of place. Minor League baseball makes for an interesting theatre for that sort of stuff because it's kind of rolled in with localism, even more than major league ball, and food becomes another marketing vehicle for the brand and team and stadium. I also think about the state fair phenomenon and how nutso the fair-food rat race is. The Big E in New England has a funny example - they didn't have a signature 'fair food' until recently, so they sat around some conference tables and invented the Big E Cream Puff, which has really nothing to do with anything specific to New England, but hey, they needed a signature extreme food.
posted by Miko at 6:14 AM on May 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

OK, but Cracker Jack Chicken and Waffles? Sign me up for that.
posted by Miko at 6:16 AM on May 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh, and in sub-minor league food news, on Cape Cod you can get a Donut Burger. They are... not great.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:16 AM on May 11, 2016

I'm a big fan of the classic, unfussy, uncomplicated Dime A Dog Night here at Huntington Park, home of Your Columbus Clippers. Exactly as it sounds ... 10 cents a hot dog, every Monday night. And then they have a race between people in catsup, relish, and mustard suits, with the outcome determined by that night's condiment consumption. It's great!
posted by ChuraChura at 6:18 AM on May 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

These run the gamut from "ugh" to "yes, please". Some interesting combinations, and I'm a sucker for a good balance of sweet and salty.

At the very least, these look like a better idea than what I saw at this year's PAX East. One of the big sellers was, no joke, a bread bowl filled with macaroni and cheese with chicken cordon bleu on top. Truly terrifying to behold.
posted by tocts at 6:19 AM on May 11, 2016

Myself, I'm a sucker for minor twists on old classics. The Lowell Spinners have $1000 Dog nights, where your hot dog might have $1, $5, $20, or $100 tucked into the wrapper. Last game I went to, the ~12 year old next to us found $5 in her hot dog, and I'm pretty sure she'll still be exclaiming over it in twenty years.

$2 beer night is also a hit
posted by Mayor West at 6:20 AM on May 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

From the top of the leaderboard:

Lava Rock Fire and Ice
Round Rock Express

Ingredients: Nolan Ryan beef tenderloin, Texas gulf shrimp, asparagus and shiitake mushrooms delivered on a frozen marble slab then grilled a la minute on a volcanic lava rock and served on roasted garlic crostini.

Not exactly fair to count whatever they're serving the plutocrats in the corporate luxury box. I didn't even know they had those for minor league baseball.
posted by indubitable at 6:21 AM on May 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

I'm vegetarian and all of these look delicious.

Maybe I'm just hungry.
posted by darksong at 6:24 AM on May 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Last game I went to, the ~12 year old next to us found $5 in her hot dog

Sounds better than the time I found $5 floating inside a pair of tighty whiteys at Jones Beach.

I used it to buy a frozen Snickers bar.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:27 AM on May 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

Pierogies on sandwiches?!

Pierogies on sandwiches...

Pierogies on sandwiches.

*adds pierogies to his shopping list*
posted by SansPoint at 6:30 AM on May 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

Disappointed but not surprised to see the Buffalo Bisons' unimaginative showing here (pulled pork nachos). Why is it not something wing-related? The national chicken wing festival is held IN THE OUTFIELD. Do a hot sauce brownie with sponge candy ice cream, do a wing eating challenge, hell just make it pulled chicken instead of pork!

I don't subscribe to the idea that Buffalo has to mean wings but COME ON.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 6:53 AM on May 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Also this is a great post and thank you for making it.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 6:55 AM on May 11, 2016

Looking at the Bison's concession menu they've got some good local stuff on there, like Beef on Weck and Pizza Logs, and poutine from over the border, so their choice wasn't great.

Also I love this sentence from their website: "Our ballpark menu includes the Official Hot Dog of Coca-Cola Field, Sahlen's, the Official Sausage of Coca-Cola Field, Wardynski's, the Official Pizza of Bisons Baseball, La Nova, and the Official Finger Food of Bisons games, The Original Pizza Log."
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:59 AM on May 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

then they have a race between people in catsup, relish, and mustard suits,

I've done to an odd amount of minor league ball and this event is something you see replicated in different parks with local twists. For instance, at the Lakewood Blue Claws in NJ, the race is between pork roll, egg, and bread (ingredients of an iconic local breakfast sandwich)
posted by Miko at 6:59 AM on May 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

The chicken and waffle cone actually seems like a really clever way to transform that dish into something you can eat standing up.
posted by backseatpilot at 7:01 AM on May 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

Pizza Logs are legit.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 7:03 AM on May 11, 2016

I was a little disappointed to see my wife's childhood team, the PawSox, didn't seem to have anything, but their menu is fairly uninspiring. I found a website from 2011 that claims they have Del's but I don't see it on the official menu. Del's at a minor league baseball game on a nice warm July afternoon sounds perfect, though.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:09 AM on May 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

Pfffft - for once Pittsburgh is ahead of the curve. I bring you the Southside Slopes (a sandwich of chargrilled kielbasa topped with sautéed pierogi and onions, American cheese, horseradish sauce).
posted by ReginaHart at 7:13 AM on May 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

Bulgaroktonos: I was a little disappointed to see my wife's childhood team, the PawSox, didn't seem to have anything, but their menu is fairly uninspiring.

Thank the new owners up in Boston? *shakes fist at Fenway-based plutocrats*

I haven't been in a couple of seasons, but I know that they added a craft beer cart a few years back that had Foolproof (from Pawtucket), among others. But no, the menu has no New York System Weiner or gaggers or anything more local than fried dough.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:38 AM on May 11, 2016

I was scrolling through these. Some of them I was like "ok, yeah, sure, I'd totally devour that drunk or hungover." One of them looked good but then they listed cheez-whiz in the ingredients and I said nope and scrolled on.

Then I saw the Huckleberry Slam. I want one. Right now. It's so pretty and it totally stand out among the competitors. And it's served in a little helmet? That's adorable.

And then there's like a lager and a mater sandwich (which are great, but like, way to not bring your A game).
Also the PB&J hot dog reminds me a lot of an elvis sandwich (which is amazing and heart-stopping)
posted by Neronomius at 7:46 AM on May 11, 2016

ChuraChura - Dime-a-dog night is awesome, as is Huntington Park in general.
posted by noneuclidean at 8:08 AM on May 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Clearly it's time for a Dime-a-dog Night meetup!!!!!!
posted by ChuraChura at 8:18 AM on May 11, 2016

“You had me at porknado!”
posted by Fizz at 8:23 AM on May 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

"So why not break your fast with our brand-new Isotope Dog Supreme?"

"Oh, so hard to resist...
mesquite-grilled onions…
jalapeno relish…"

"Wait a minute— those are Southwestern ingredients!"
posted by NordyneDefenceDynamics at 8:48 AM on May 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

Perogies are totally a legitimate topping. Our hockey team here sells perogie dogs, and Smoke's has a perogie poutine.

(They're also good in a caesar salad with some pulled pork, if you happen to have some in your fridge.)
posted by Kreiger at 9:23 AM on May 11, 2016

I voted for the 'mater sandwich. It looks so lonely at the bottom of the list.
posted by slogger at 9:45 AM on May 11, 2016

Apart from peanut-containing things, there is literally nothing on this list I wouldn't happily stuff into my fat maw.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:45 AM on May 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Mater Sandwich (Kannapolis Intimidators): Ingredients: Grilled white bread, tomatoes and mayonnaise with salt and pepper.

That doesn't sound very intimidating.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:05 AM on May 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

I am impressed that there are three no traditional sandwiches in this competition that are not doing as well as the Indianapolis Indians entry, which is literally just a can of beer.
posted by ardgedee at 10:23 AM on May 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Disappointed but not surprised to see the Buffalo Bisons' unimaginative showing here (pulled pork nachos). Why is it not something wing-related?

Isn't the Buffalo baseball food of choice the Beef on Weck?
posted by rocket88 at 10:31 AM on May 11, 2016

Ugh, this thread is making me so bummed that the Bisons are out of town the few days I'm going to be in Buffalo this summer. I loved going to their games as a kid. However, thanks for reminding me I need to get some Beef on Weck, somewhere, somehow.
posted by misskaz at 11:28 AM on May 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Ingredients: Nolan Ryan beef tenderloin, Texas gulf shrimp, asparagus and shiitake mushrooms delivered on a frozen marble slab then grilled a la minute on a volcanic lava rock and served on roasted garlic crostini.

Not exactly fair to count whatever they're serving the plutocrats in the corporate luxury box. I didn't even know they had those for minor league baseball.

Not that it makes it any better, but the Round Rock Express is essentially a Nolan Ryan family business. It's definitely weird branding for a ballpark food, though.
posted by mudpuppie at 12:00 PM on May 11, 2016

pierogi is the plural from of pieróg
posted by terrapin at 12:06 PM on May 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

I've never been, but my Albuquerque family lives right by the Isotopes field, and the games always sound really fun.

And now that I think about it, I like everything about baseball except for the boring game part, so I'm going to go get that enchilada dog next time I'm there.
posted by ernielundquist at 12:17 PM on May 11, 2016

I was a little disappointed that my hometown's team's Bear Claw Burger wasn't in the competition.
The Bear Claw Burger is a half-pound Angus hamburger topped with Michigan based Ebel’s barbeque pulled pork, macaroni and cheese, and coleslaw between two Sweetwater’s Donut Mill bear claw donuts
posted by Metro Gnome at 7:32 PM on May 11, 2016

Is Bell's a sponsor of the Growlers? Because I don't care that the mascot is a bear; if the name wasn't meant to be a reference to beer I'll, uh, have another beer.
posted by ardgedee at 5:27 AM on May 12, 2016