Odd Swedish Habits
May 20, 2016 2:05 PM   Subscribe

Swedes are an interesting bunch. They're efficient but they love a good coffee-break, they're humble but they hang flags on their front porches, and they can appear cold at a glance but are as warm as an Arctic sauna when you really, really get to know them. And to me, they're also quite odd.

As a naturalized Swede, I don't really agree with this list but hey, it's May, and I'm trying to keep it weird. (Is the hug thing true? Quick, native Swedes, confirm or deny.)
posted by Bella Donna (56 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
 
I don't know if it's true or not but now I want a Hugging Friend Forever
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 2:11 PM on May 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


I am entirely for fika and no small talk.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 2:17 PM on May 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


Everything about Sweden sounds great except for the hugging, but I suspect my "please do not hug me" force field is strong enough to fend off even the Swedes.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 2:21 PM on May 20, 2016


Well, I am entirely for fika unless it's a mandatory fika at both 11:00 and 15:00 and if I don't go or refuse to eat cake then I'm considered snobbish. That's no good either.
posted by Bella Donna at 2:21 PM on May 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


They made my favorite video game ever and my current obsessions as well. I have gotten to appreciate then love the pop musicians I used to make fun of. And I'm obsessed on the furnishings and lingonberries.

They seem pretty cool, and I really want to visit some day! :)
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:23 PM on May 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm super skeptical about the hugging. These are people who get offended if you make eye contact with them while walking on the sidewalk because WTF, you are a stranger to me, how dare you look me in the eyes when we haven't met! So maybe it's a celeb thing? It's 11:30 pm in Sweden right now so maybe some excellent sources are about to snooze. Hope they report in tomorrow.
posted by Bella Donna at 2:24 PM on May 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


What about the crab paste?
posted by lagomorphius at 2:24 PM on May 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


My grandmother, who was originally from Austria, had a name for the afternoon cake meal, when you take a break from whatever you're doing and eat a piece of cake. I can't remember what it was, but I feel this is an integral part of my heritage which I am obligated to revive.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 2:25 PM on May 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


You must visit, Celsius1414, if only to get to taste actual lingonberries of the raw preserved variety. But maybe you shouldn't because that will ruin you for the Ikea version forever.
posted by Bella Donna at 2:26 PM on May 20, 2016


For sure, and I think it's the potential taste I'm reacting to. :)
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:27 PM on May 20, 2016


I should take a chance take a chance take a chance chance chance.
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:29 PM on May 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


During the time I was living in Malmö as an exchange student, I lived with this lovely couple whose daughter was an exchange student living in New Jersey. The mom was a terrific cook and baker. Every night she offered me a plate of 3 sorts of treats (cake and cookies) when we sat down in front of the TV to watch national news (Rapport). I lived with them between January and July of that year, just long enough to put on a full 20 pounds. Gee, wonder why? (She introduced me to Tosca cake, a delight.)
posted by Bella Donna at 2:31 PM on May 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Nice list. Not complete.
Another curious habit: Swedes sell and buy rotten vegetables.

Today at the store (it's May, for Pete's sake!):

Item #1: Corn, 1,50 $ per ear, totally wilted and yellow, likely picked a month ago.
#2: white cabbage. From Macedonia. Where-from will it come next, Hawaii? It looked like it was hand-rolled all the way to Sweden.
#3: white asparagus, nicely medium sized, from Germany (it's full Asparagus season in Germany). These were for once not dried out. Rather, they sneakily were developing tiny areas of white mold around the tips. Likely picked 1 1/2 weeks ago. 3,50 bucks per bundle of ca. 10 pieces.
#4: Mangoes, moldy.
#5: Garlic, moldy.
#6: Bright green organic potatoes. I’m sure that they are glowing in the dark. Green potatoes are, of course, slightly toxic.

This is no exception, and it drives me bananas. Oh no, you don't. I'm not going to talk about the bananas.
posted by Namlit at 2:34 PM on May 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


My aunt lived in Sweden for a year after high school and the hugging was one of the things that stuck out for her. We're from Minnesota where there isn't hugging culture even within many (my) families.

Speaking of MN, that first picture of the bus stop head down, arms-length, no talking could easily be taken on any day in Minneapolis, but then we're full of Scandinavians and adopted culture.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 2:39 PM on May 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


The hugging thing explains why nobody talks to each other at the bus stop. If they did, from then on it would have to be hugs all around every single day while waiting for the bus.
posted by beagle at 2:55 PM on May 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


Namlit, where are you buying your veggies? In Stockholm I went to immigrant areas to shop, like Skärholmen. For some reason the immigrant community knows decent produce and apparently insists on decent seasonal produce. I remember the tragically sad corn. Swedes don't know about fresh corn. The farmers markets don't sell it and the stuff in the stores is something you'd feed chickens. Just no.
posted by Bella Donna at 3:22 PM on May 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Ask a Swede to describe their house and they could say it's a two or a 39 (meaning a two room or 39 square-metre flat).

At last! Suddenly Stieg Larsson's most baffling writing tic makes sense now.

"She thought about Blomqvist's apartment--700 square feet in one open space."

"It took about eight seconds to eyeball the 500 square feet."

"The apartment was about 250 square feet."
posted by the return of the thin white sock at 3:27 PM on May 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


These are people who get offended if you make eye contact with them while walking on the sidewalk because WTF, you are a stranger to me, how dare you look me in the eyes when we haven't met!

omg these are my people. brb, looking up airline ticket prices to Sweden.
posted by indubitable at 3:29 PM on May 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Pancakes and pea soup? On Thursday? Or is that not everywhere?

I will be in Stockholm next Thursday and I have to confess I am sort of hoping for pancakes and pea soup again..

Oh and the "answers with English to any accented local language" is by no means just Swedish. The Danes do it to me all the time, and my Dutch-learning friends say the same.
posted by nat at 3:44 PM on May 20, 2016


The Danes do it to me all the time, and my Dutch-learning friends say the same.

Yup, probably an attribute of any smallish country with a language not spoken anywhere else in the world. In Holland they will not even wait until you try speaking Dutch (which I can speak reasonably well). You walk up to the cashier, or whomever, and they already have you pegged as an American by your shirt, hairstyle, whatever, and start speaking English to you.
posted by beagle at 4:14 PM on May 20, 2016


I assume there's the usual "well gosh you did try didn't you, god love you, you did terribly, of course, but you tried" frisson of acknowledgement that goes with trying to speak the language. Maybe that's just Quebec.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 4:17 PM on May 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


When I was in Stockholm a few months ago, I found a book titled The Almost Nearly Perfect People by Michael Booth (an Englishman married to a Dane and living in Denmark) about the cultures of the Nordic countries. One of the things he mentions in it is that some cultures are considered by anthropologists to be “high-context cultures”, i.e., ones in which any two members can assume to share so much context that smalltalk is considered useless and a waste of time. (This is mentioned in the chapter on Finland, which is the classic example of a high-context culture, in which people don't speak to each other unless they have a specific need to exchange information; hence the old joke about the two Finns who meet up for a drink, polish off one bottle of vodka, and one says, “so, how are things?”, and the other replies, “are we here to drink or talk?”; the rest of the Nordic countries are said to be high-context cultures as well, to a greater or lesser extent.)

Anyway, I'd recommend this book to anyone interested in the Nordic countries and their cultures. It's at once entertaining and informative.
posted by acb at 4:38 PM on May 20, 2016 [28 favorites]


Yup, probably an attribute of any smallish country with a language not spoken anywhere else in the world. In Holland they will not even wait until you try speaking Dutch (which I can speak reasonably well). You walk up to the cashier, or whomever, and they already have you pegged as an American by your shirt, hairstyle, whatever, and start speaking English to you.

I managed to start ordering dinner in (atrociously bad Duolingo-acquired) Swedish once, only switching to English upon finding myself out of my depth understanding the clerk's reply. Mind you, this was in Haparanda, on the Finnish border in Lapland.
posted by acb at 4:41 PM on May 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


My greatest accomplishment language-wise was when an antique antique dealer asked me if I was Norwegian. You could tell he didn't get out much because my American accent is as broad as a barn. Even so, that question made my day. nat, how do you feel about herring? Not the pickled stuff, the other stuff. Because the Nystekt Strömming place at Södermalm is a thing of beauty. I always order the tasty standard plate. Ask to trade the creme frache salad for lingonberries because skipping the lingonberries is wrong, oh so wrong.
posted by Bella Donna at 4:43 PM on May 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I wouldn't object to Swedes not engaging in small talk if they engaged in big talk instead. Ask one of my brothers-in-law how he and his family are doing and it's always, "Same old, same old." And he says that if somebody has died, given birth, gotten married, or run off to join a circus. Once I called a different brother to ask him to talk to my husband because Reasons. And he was all, "But he hasn't said anything to me about Reasons." And I replied, "When has anyone in your family ever mentioned anything to anyone about Reasons." And he was all, "Good point," and called Mr. Bella Donna the same day.

Also, Swedes hate sharing elevators and carefully peeking out of the little hole in their doors to make sure the hallway is empty before they make a break for the elevator button. This is famous but I think it's been covered here earlier. Don't have time to link, alas.
posted by Bella Donna at 4:48 PM on May 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


So, basically, the Swedes are what most people think the British are?
posted by acb at 5:07 PM on May 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


My mother just visited Sweden recently because her father was from there and we still have relatives living there. I'd love to visit sometime.
posted by gucci mane at 5:09 PM on May 20, 2016


The hugging thing is real. I work for a Swedish company and spend a lot of time in Sweden. They know I really don't like hugging, but this somehow only makes them find it more amusing. I've gotten used to it.
posted by frumiousb at 5:09 PM on May 20, 2016


I think the Donald Duck thing is the Swedish quirk I find most endearing.

Seconding the Almost Nearly Perfect People.
posted by kevinbelt at 5:10 PM on May 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I think the Donald Duck thing is the Swedish quirk I find most endearing.

I think that may be, if not pan-European, common in various parts of the Continent. The Italians are quite into Donald Duck as well, and I think various other European countries are (each having their own localised names for the characters).
posted by acb at 5:14 PM on May 20, 2016


Thanks, acb, I think you may be on to something with the what-we-think-of-as-British angle. I had to make friends with fellow Americans partly because Swedes, in their native habitat, don't tend to be wildly friendly and partly because they refused to complain. The national motto seems to be, Could Be Worse. And while I admire that in a nation, I like friends to be fellow whiners so we can dish together.
posted by Bella Donna at 5:19 PM on May 20, 2016


These are people who get offended if you make eye contact with them while walking on the sidewalk because WTF, you are a stranger to me, how dare you look me in the eyes when we haven't met!

This has been my experience with Scandinavians in general - you must not disturb the Social Harmony, under any circumstances, in any form. Including eye contact.

My best friend is Swedish, and on the last day of her visit in these parts, I made her dinner. The next day, I went to the guesthouse to collect the leftovers and my cooking supplies. I just strutted into the kitchen, where five people were sitting quietly at the dining table, faces in their Macs, as I started emptying cupboards, bagging up my stuff. None of these people had ever seen me before, yet none of them said a word as a total stranger walked into their kitchen and took stuff. When I told this to my friend later on, I remarked that where I'm from, I'd never be able to do that without someone saying something, like, "Excuse me, who are you? Whose food are you taking?" My friend explained that these people were Scandinavian, and anyone who spoke up to ask questions like that would have embarrassed everyone else, so instead they just waited patiently for me to leave. And probably talked about me the moment I left.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 7:01 PM on May 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


I work for a Swedish company too, but I get zero hugs :(

Most of the Swedes I work with are friendly and better at small talk than I am. More than one of them has called me quiet. So I don't really know where this "terse and bad at small talk" thing is coming from. Is this due to a generational divide? I work at a tech company where most of the employees are under forty.
posted by rhythm and booze at 7:17 PM on May 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oh and the "answers with English to any accented local language" is by no means just Swedish. The Danes do it to me all the time, and my Dutch-learning friends say the same.

To be fair, as a Dane with a wonderful British partner who I adore, English accented Danish can be outright painful to listen to. Easier to just save everyone the suffering and switch to English.
posted by Dysk at 9:59 PM on May 20, 2016


What was that joke about how to recognise an outgoing Swede?

He's staring at your shoes.
posted by Namlit at 10:34 PM on May 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


The great brochure country.
posted by clavdivs at 12:01 AM on May 21, 2016


What was that joke about how to recognise an outgoing Swede?
He's staring at your shoes.


I've always heard that as a Finnish joke.
posted by acb at 4:42 AM on May 21, 2016


And probably talked about me the moment I left.

They were in a rented house, and it was the last day they were staying there? Could have been that they thought you worked for the rental company, which to some means that since they pay your salary you're automatically inferior and they will only acknowledge your existence if absolutely necessary. Such people are everywhere.

That, or it was a bunch of maladjusted teenagers. Many of them will develop basic social skills later in life.

I've always heard that as a Finnish joke.

Yeah, that's definitely about the Finns, at least according to people in neighbouring countries.

The Italians are quite into Donald Duck as well

To the extent that a lot of the Donald Duck I read as a kid was produced in Italy, even, including the fun Duck Avenger stories that nobody in the English-speaking world has ever heard of, but the specific quirk referred to here might have been the broadcast of From All of Us to All of You at 3pm on Christmas Eve, after which people eat Christmas dinner and open all the presents (Sweden celebrates Christmas on the 24th). That Duck use is indeed a bit strange.
posted by effbot at 5:45 AM on May 21, 2016


They were in a rented house, and it was the last day they were staying there? Could have been that they thought you worked for the rental company, which to some means that since they pay your salary you're automatically inferior and they will only acknowledge your existence if absolutely necessary.

That sounds very unscandinavian, and wouldn't be my first assumption for an incident in Sweden like it would if it were say the UK.
posted by Dysk at 5:55 AM on May 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Sweden celebrates Christmas on the 24th

As does most of Continental Europe*, IIRC. Germany and Poland certainly do, and I believe France does as well. I think that celebrating Christmas on the 25th is a peculiarity of Britain and its former colonies.

* Not counting the Orthodox world, where it's two weeks later.
posted by acb at 6:00 AM on May 21, 2016


Scandinavians are descended from berserkers. Caffeine is the only thing that keeps us from going berserk and killing everybody. That's why we need coffee breaks.
posted by Anne Neville at 6:13 AM on May 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


I've always heard that as a Finnish joke.

Yeah technically that's correct, but my pet theory is that it applies to the Swedish community in Finland.
posted by Namlit at 6:15 AM on May 21, 2016


They were in a rented house, and it was the last day they were staying there? Could have been that they thought you worked for the rental company, which to some means that since they pay your salary you're automatically inferior and they will only acknowledge your existence if absolutely necessary. Such people are everywhere.

That, or it was a bunch of maladjusted teenagers. Many of them will develop basic social skills later in life.


1. It wasn't their last days there - it was my friend who left the morning after the dinner.
2. It was a guesthouse, meaning all the staff are on-site. And what would my job be, anyway? Random Food Collector?
3. Not teenagers.

I wouldn't say Scandinavians aren't class conscious, but they by and large don't have the kind of stratified pecking order attitude about class that you might find in say, the UK. Social harmony is tremendously important to Scandinavians, and no one wants to make a scene. Even a "scene" such as politely asking who the stranger taking food out of our kitchen is.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 6:17 AM on May 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


One good thing about Swedes and coffee, btw., is that the country has turned completely around over the last 25 years. What used to be a Pitiful Place of Peaty Punishment is now a most sophisticated Playground for Perfect Pressos.


So, Christmas. No sweeping statements about "Continental Europe-not-counting-whatever-world," please.
Sweden begins its Christmas feast-eating and presents and Christmas-treeing and general Christmassing early on on the 24th.
Germany starts with presents and a nicely lit Christmas tree on the eve of the 24th, and the big roast of what-have-you is traditionally eaten lunchtime on the 25th.
The Netherlands don't have much on the 24th; also, presents are in early December, while Christmas feast-food is on the 25th.
posted by Namlit at 6:23 AM on May 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


One good thing about Swedes and coffee, btw., is that the country has turned completely around over the last 25 years. What used to be a Pitiful Place of Peaty Punishment is now a most sophisticated Playground for Perfect Pressos.


Depends where you go, and what standards you judge coffee by. From the point of view of someone who grew up in Melbourne: there are good roasteries in the main cities (Drop Coffee in Stockholm is good, and I have good memories of Da Matteo in Gothenburg as well), and passable ones further out (there's one in Luleå for example, whose espressos are drinkable, if not quite up there with London/Berlin, let alone Melbourne). Though from what I gather, Sweden is still a filter-coffee culture by default, and espresso is still a novelty.

In the Nordic world, I'd rate Iceland near or at the top (Reykjavík Roasters for the win, and even their big chain, Te Og Kaffi, has decent beans), and heard good things about Norway (the name of Tim Wendelboe, Nordic barista champion, gets bandied about).
posted by acb at 7:11 AM on May 21, 2016


Well of course it's a matter of what you compare it with. Compared with the stomach-tarring lunchroom stuff from my early employment days...on the other hand...

We have had some newcomers who solidly worked themselves up past DaMatteo in Göteborg. And some really excellent roasts can be bought online at the "Barista shop", delivered next day to the door. That was absolutely unthinkable two decades ago.

Guess I'll make some right now...
posted by Namlit at 7:50 AM on May 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also, Swedes hate sharing elevators and carefully peeking out of the little hole in their doors to make sure the hallway is empty before they make a break for the elevator button.

OMG, it turns out I've been Swedish all this time and didn't even realize it.

Personal space: good
Small talk: bad
Coffee and cake: excellent
posted by Foosnark at 8:16 AM on May 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


Can someone please confirm or disconfirm that Swedes only eat candy on Saturdays?
posted by ewok_academy at 2:35 PM on May 21, 2016


Can someone please confirm or disconfirm that Swedes only eat candy on Saturdays?

Lördagsgodis is a thing, and was common practice for children in the fifties and sixties, based on recommendations to limit candy consumption to one day per week to improve dental health. How they figured out that correlation is a rather horrible story.
posted by effbot at 3:25 PM on May 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Dysk- you're right of course, I've got a terrible accent (although mine is American and not British, I dunno if that's worse)-- but the real issue is that if people switch, I can't practice. And if I can't practice, I am effectively shut out of anything social, which is dreary (esp. in winter). Also my accent will never improve if I never speak (and believe me, it is sufficiently awful that improvement must be possible). So, on balance it is worth trying.
posted by nat at 4:19 PM on May 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Sweden celebrates Christmas on the 24th

As does most of Continental Europe*, IIRC. Germany and Poland certainly do, and I believe France does as well. I think that celebrating Christmas on the 25th is a peculiarity of Britain and its former colonies.

* Not counting the Orthodox world, where it's two weeks later.

Orthodox Easter is later, Christmas is the same. Anyone got some mince pies?
posted by ersatz at 3:26 AM on May 22, 2016


I always recalled that Orthodox Christmas fell on 7 January (a memorable date to me as that's my birthday).
posted by acb at 3:42 AM on May 22, 2016


They're using the Julian calendar to figure out their holidays, right? The old Julian calender is 13 days off at the moment, so December 25 in the that calendar the same as January 7 in the Gregorian.
posted by effbot at 7:07 AM on May 22, 2016


To the surprise of nobody, wikipedia has a table.
posted by effbot at 7:11 AM on May 22, 2016


While we're on Swedish habits, I just noticed that this post coincided with the release of the final album by Sweden's most popular band (that you've never heard of) during the last 25 years, Kent, a "we'd never get signed today" rock act combining solid british-style indie rock with a band backstory and lyrics that makes them as "quintessentially Swedish" [PDF] as anything can be. They announced "Då som nu för alltid" (Then as now forever) with this video earlier this year (pretty much every visual is a reference to earlier album art or videos), sold out their final tour (including extra shows) in hours, and dropped the last 11 tracks Friday.
posted by effbot at 8:03 AM on May 22, 2016


(here's the abstract page for that PDF; mods, feel free to swap it out if you see this)
posted by effbot at 8:11 AM on May 22, 2016


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