Juanald's Old-Fashioned Granolarrhea
May 22, 2016 2:47 PM   Subscribe

 
I would shop at the Liquor Stork!
posted by Cookiebastard at 2:51 PM on May 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


Coffin Bro?

Coffin Bro - For when you Bro'd out way too hard, brah.
posted by T.D. Strange at 2:59 PM on May 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


bonus: Craft God!
posted by ennui.bz at 2:59 PM on May 22, 2016


The Jacket Bastard
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:00 PM on May 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


Having reread the title I heave a sigh of relief.
posted by Splunge at 3:01 PM on May 22, 2016


double bonus: distance porn. another installment of porn from the 1970s of an alternate timeline.
posted by ennui.bz at 3:02 PM on May 22, 2016 [4 favorites]


I used to get my vitamins at Vitamin Pig, and it was always fun to see them spew out of that pig's mouth. How did they train it??
posted by languagehat at 3:05 PM on May 22, 2016


No monkeying around at FASHION CHIMP
posted by grumpybear69 at 3:09 PM on May 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


Fashion Chimp is a way better name than Dress Barn.

Dress Barn. Because you want your fashion merchandising brand to remind people of the place we keep the horses.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:29 PM on May 22, 2016


Meanwhile, in Israel.
posted by Paul Slade at 3:38 PM on May 22, 2016 [4 favorites]


After this post we're all going to Mashti Malone's
posted by zippy at 3:45 PM on May 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


Christian Family BBQ Supply is still my favorite, because I can imagine it existing and it INFURIATES me.
posted by redsparkler at 4:02 PM on May 22, 2016 [8 favorites]


I always opt for the Rosewater Saffron Pistachio sorbet after I cram my Ham Sando.
posted by carsonb at 4:30 PM on May 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


We should all raise our hands if we had our first after-school job at a small business which could easily have been in this strip mall.
posted by maxwelton at 7:03 PM on May 22, 2016


Kind of disappointed that they didn't think to have one really improbable store that remained there through all the iterations, as if they had some powerful curse that prevented the landlord from just selling out the site to a big-box store.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:07 PM on May 22, 2016 [5 favorites]


I've purchased countless pieces of equipment at Sports Attempt, all of which quickly got shoved in a closet never to be used again. A++++, would buy and never use again.
posted by bologna on wry at 7:36 PM on May 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


My town actually had a Christian BBQ supply shop. For reals.
posted by mochapickle at 8:20 PM on May 22, 2016


Too bad most Christian denominations don't venerate the saints, otherwise they could have sold a Saint Lawrence Grill.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:06 PM on May 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


Granolarrhea. Yum!
posted by SisterHavana at 11:11 AM on May 23, 2016


MOCHAPICKLE, NOOOOO!!!!
TELL ME MORE!!!
posted by redsparkler at 8:24 PM on May 23, 2016


I love these but for sheer belly-hurting laughter I really prefer his Apple Cabin Foods. YARD MEAT.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:37 AM on May 24, 2016


OK, redsparkler... It wasn't specifically advertised as a Christian BBQ store & it's more fun to imagine than what the actual place was like (Fire&Brimstone brand charcoal briquettes, etc.) than the reality of it.

It was a narrow space in an old building with plate glass windows. In the back, you had the grills and the pellets and the mesquite bundles, etc. In the middle, you had the marinades and sauces and serving equipment. In the front, by the register, they had gardening stuff that all had a christian theme. Like, those little flagstones you can get with bible verses engraved on them. And wall plaques. Also a whole lot of hummingbird feeders?

The place lasted a year or two and now it's an art gallery.
posted by mochapickle at 11:38 AM on May 24, 2016 [2 favorites]


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