The ultimate vacation home
June 8, 2016 1:29 AM   Subscribe

If a cruise liner can be thought of as a luxury hotel on a ship's hull, then The World would be a luxury condominium on a ship's hull. Displacing 43,524 tons, it contains 165 privately-owned residences ranging from studios all the way up to 3 bedroom apartments. Every residence has a kitchen and a bathroom and internet access, and the ship overall has a pool, a tennis court, six restaurants, a grocery store and a deli, several bars, and no casino.

Residence owners also own a share of the ship itself, making the entire thing privately owned and operated. The ship's itinerary is decided by vote of the residents each year. Currently it's in the Baltic off the coast of Latvia, and its position can be tracked in real time here. They plan to visit the mid-East and finish 2016 in Sydney. In 2017 they will visit Japan and China, cruise up and down the west coast of North American, pass through the Panama Canal and end the year in Florida.

So how much does it cost to live there? If you have to ask, you can't afford it. But we can get a hint from the proposed cruise ship Utopia which is offering residences ranging in price from $3.9 million to $30 million, whenever they can raise enough money to build it (estimated total cost $1.1 billion).

Plus every residence owner has to pay a yearly fee for the cost of ship's operations, including (on The World) 280 full time crew.
posted by Chocolate Pickle (112 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
Sounds like a mashup of 2012 and Snowpiercer... can't wait for the prole revolt in this apocalypse
posted by cosmologinaut at 1:39 AM on June 8, 2016 [24 favorites]


The 2016 itinerary has them passing through the Suez Canal, visiting Abu Dhabi, and then heading south to Australia. Which means they're going to be passing through the Strait of Hormuz twice, and they'll be passing through pirate-infested waters near Indonesia. I hope some of the 280 crew are combat-trained.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 1:46 AM on June 8, 2016 [12 favorites]


That sounds really nice
posted by polymodus at 1:56 AM on June 8, 2016 [7 favorites]


and no casino

The truly rich don't feel the need to gamble for their thrills.
posted by hippybear at 2:03 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


According to their "Finer Points of Ownership" document, the minimum requirements for buying in are about in line with a high-end NYC co-op:
Prospective Residents must have (i) net worth of US $10 million or (ii) net income after taxes of US $1 million for each of the most recent two (2) years and reasonably foreseeable for two (2) future years.
As is befitting such an undertaking, the more you own, the more votes you control:
The voting rights under the Residence Agreement and shares in TWRH [the holding company that owns the ship] are proportionate to the square footage of the Residences. For example, a Residence consisting of 1,391 square feet has 1,391 votes and shares.
Found some other interesting links while prowling through search results: posted by fireoyster at 2:09 AM on June 8, 2016 [7 favorites]


Bahía de Darwin, the celebrity ship in Vonnegut's 11th novel, Galapagos.
posted by lazycomputerkids at 2:12 AM on June 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


Assuming l’enfer, c’est les autres, what kind of hell-on-water would this be, I wonder? Who exactly would one be puking over the rails with, or lining up with at the on-board deli, or playing doubles with on the tennis courts? Is the list of residents public knowledge, or a closely-guarded secret? Might it be all Russian oligarchs, Saudi royalty and Silicon Valley billionaires; or a more mundane mix? I suppose one way to find out would be to apply for one of the vacancies they’re advertising: ranging from Manager, Destination & Enrichment Programs to Laundryman B.
posted by misteraitch at 2:13 AM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


Chocolate Pickle - Only one disgruntled special operations soldier who was forced out under mysterious circumstances. If you're going to make a 1980s action flick become reality, you gotta have the right hero.
posted by Punkey at 2:25 AM on June 8, 2016 [45 favorites]


Every residence has a kitchen and a bathroom and internet access

Luxury!
posted by fairmettle at 2:43 AM on June 8, 2016 [12 favorites]


How do you leave, though? Say a loved one dies while you're floating in the middle of the Pacific. Will you be paying for a private helicopter to come pick you and take you to the nearest airport? Presumably there would already be one on board for safety purposes, but that can't be used for non-emergency reasons so it couldn't be used like a shuttle. Of course if you're in the income bracket where this is affordable, you can probably pay for other people to attend to most things in your stead until you can get to land, but that doesn't mesh with the personality type that would live on a cruise ship where you control the itinerary.

Anyway, the mind boggles.
posted by Mizu at 3:00 AM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


passing through the Strait of Hormuz twice, and they'll be passing through pirate-infested waters near Indonesia. I hope some of the 280 crew are combat-trained.

The cruise ships are fast, the pirates basically can't catch them. The economics of shipping are optimized for just enough engine to move through the water at the best cost equation, which is pretty slow, making them sitting ducks for a small boat with a few desperate guys with guns to catch them and climb aboard. But getting to a destination "on time" for many paying customers, makes huge very very expensive engines a viable, perhaps essential option.
posted by sammyo at 3:18 AM on June 8, 2016 [14 favorites]


I was wondering if people buy these as investments, and then not use them; that could lead to empty cabins.
posted by carter at 3:27 AM on June 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


This sounds very much like a JG Ballard novel, a cross between a Super-Cannes and High Rise.
posted by googly at 3:31 AM on June 8, 2016 [9 favorites]


"By day, the Contessa was gripped by nausea, whether from the gentle rolling of the ship or the pervasive ennui of its inhabitants she did not know. By night, she dreamt of endless labyrinthine forests and prowling unseen predators. While staring with disgust at her continental breakfast that morning, she caught a glimpse of a jaguar crouched on the veranda..."
posted by googly at 3:43 AM on June 8, 2016 [24 favorites]


About 200 passengers and 280 crew, displacement 43,524 GT. Compare with Harmony of the Seas, the worlds biggest cruise liner with 5,500 passengers, 2100 crew and displacement of 226,963 GT. So 'The World' is just a floating block of flats really.
posted by memebake at 4:01 AM on June 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


A gated community you can't leave! Any questions? That'll be some multiple of a million dollars, please.
posted by oceanjesse at 4:13 AM on June 8, 2016 [13 favorites]


Whenever they can raise enough money to build it.

Any news on that?
posted by Clave at 4:16 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


A thought - Since they are living at sea, moving from one place to another and much of the time are in international waters....

....what nations' laws do they operate under? If any?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:33 AM on June 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


They operate under a Home Owners Association, duh. It's a democracy!
posted by oceanjesse at 4:34 AM on June 8, 2016 [27 favorites]


And to think I just saw High Rise
posted by The Whelk at 4:40 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


.what nations' laws do they operate under? If any?

They fly under a Bahamian flag, so Bahamian jurisdiction? Maritime law is famously fuzzy. You should consult an expert, like a sovereign citizen.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:48 AM on June 8, 2016 [18 favorites]


Also it seems like the residents would mostly be like exiled dictators and high profile criminals.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:52 AM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


This is gonna go noroviral.
posted by grumpybear69 at 4:52 AM on June 8, 2016 [37 favorites]


They fly under a Bahamian flag, so Bahamian jurisdiction? Maritime law is famously fuzzy. You should consult an expert, like a sovereign citizen.

Take to the sea!
posted by Servo5678 at 4:56 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Bless their hearts. And God bless the MV John Galt. Hope there's just enough life preservers for the crew.
posted by nevercalm at 4:59 AM on June 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


I was so hoping this was going to be a squat residential tower sticking out of the front deck of the boat.
posted by mantecol at 5:03 AM on June 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


I don't think I own enough khakis to meet the residency requirements.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:04 AM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


A supposedly fun thing...
posted by fixedgear at 5:06 AM on June 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


Think about the petty tyrants that dominate many condo associations. Now go on a permanent cruise with them. I cannot imagine a better punishment for the 1%.
posted by humanfont at 5:07 AM on June 8, 2016 [21 favorites]


As time passes, neighbors become travel companions and travel companions become good friends

Yeah, that is one possibility.

Another thought, what sort of security would they have? What sort of protection against pirates (or whoever) from attacking the boat and capturing a large number of ultra wealthy people for ransom or just theft?
posted by 2manyusernames at 5:19 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


I have to admit, I love the Bali Beds as pictured in the slide show. However they describe them as "coveted" which suggests an extra surcharge and/or scarcity.

Imagine the hierarchy there and what it's like being someone who just barely qualifies.
posted by BibiRose at 5:25 AM on June 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


What sort of protection against pirates...

Shhhhh.... You're fucking with my retirement plan...
posted by jkaczor at 5:25 AM on June 8, 2016 [7 favorites]


Smash cut to : a semi flooded ek elevator during the security forces coup, "beyond the sea" plays on a tinny speaker.
posted by The Whelk at 5:32 AM on June 8, 2016 [7 favorites]


If you live in international waters who do you pay income tax to?
posted by srboisvert at 5:35 AM on June 8, 2016


Floor plans...
Can someone help the 1% set up their chessboards?
posted by MtDewd at 5:37 AM on June 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


If you live in international waters who do you pay income tax to?

If you're a US national, the United States government. We don't care if you're on the moon.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:46 AM on June 8, 2016 [9 favorites]


Isn't this the illusion of ultimate exclusivity for the 0.1%, compared to the 0.00001%? The true elite can afford their own ultra luxury mega-yachts at 300mil+, plus yearly operating costs and a crew of 35.

There's always someone richer, and someone else willing to sell a piece of the next status marker for an exorbitant price, but less than the true cost of really being on the next rung of wealth.
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:54 AM on June 8, 2016 [11 favorites]


Timeshares on Spider Skull island!
posted by The Whelk at 6:00 AM on June 8, 2016 [8 favorites]


Studio units seem kind of cozy.
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:15 AM on June 8, 2016


Pirates? Hell - If I had one I'd take my toddler on it and he would literally tear that place apart. Not a stick left standing once he's gone wild in Fredy's Deli, had a massive temper tantrum in the study, ripped the sheets off the coveted Bali beds, or flung food all over the exclusive three dining tables on the marina deck. Suspect we'd get voted off the ship before the gangway is even disconnected.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 6:19 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Suspect we'd get voted off the ship before the gangway is even disconnected.

oh my god this kind of thing would make for an AMAZING REALITY SHOW
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:20 AM on June 8, 2016 [10 favorites]


Out of curiosity, I read up on this a couple years ago. There was an issue whether owners could rent out their cabins to the hoi polloi. The deli was closed quite a bit. Actually the ship was kinda creepy because it is so huge and there were comparatively few residents on board at a time.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:21 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ooh, not only do they get a chance to get the full pirate experience, next year they might even be able to fit in a surprise visit to the DPRK!
posted by jason_steakums at 6:22 AM on June 8, 2016


Please support my Kickstarter so I can raise enough to just barely afford a room and become that neighbor that they're all disgusted by.
posted by bondcliff at 6:22 AM on June 8, 2016 [20 favorites]


Pirates? Hell - If I had one I'd take my toddler on it and he would literally tear that place apart.

They can't vote you off so afterward you ask if anyone would like to buy your apartment at a substantial mark-up of course
posted by 2manyusernames at 6:26 AM on June 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


Imagine a container ship full of shipping container homes.
posted by bhnyc at 6:36 AM on June 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


Timeshares on Spider Skull island!

I can just see the long-suffering sea captain being forced to helm this floating barge of privilege

Y'arrrrff
posted by Existential Dread at 6:46 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Maybe this is a promo for the prequel to Waterworld.
posted by emjaybee at 6:51 AM on June 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Damon Knight wrote a science fiction novel about this, but I'm confused--this article doesn't mention the parasitic alien that possesses all of the passengers.
posted by goatdog at 7:03 AM on June 8, 2016 [4 favorites]




Makes perfect sense to me. Older people were already living on cruise ships, as they were cheaper than retirement homes, until rules were put in place to block exactly that. This is just the next logical step.
posted by Capt. Renault at 7:33 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


As well, when I did my Transatlantic crossing, it was also the tail end of a three month world cruise. There were rich people on board who did the world cruise each year, every year, to the point of such familiarity where I had a problem with one of the machines at the laundrette, and a kindly lady helped me by calling the officer on the bridge. "Hello, this is JANICE."

I have no doubt that Janice and her friends would stay on the ship even longer if they could. There's definitely a market for this exact thing. And I can't fault them one bit for wanting it.
posted by Capt. Renault at 7:41 AM on June 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


Wonder who the douchebag neighbor is aboard this floating prison.
posted by prepmonkey at 7:46 AM on June 8, 2016


I was wondering if people buy these as investments, and then not use them; that could lead to empty cabins.

I pictured the same thing except, just like NYC and London apartment buildings, the entire boat would be empty.

A crew of 200, doing nothing but polishing the same railings over and over, endlessly circling the world...

Or, better yet, just one widow with the boat to herself.
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:48 AM on June 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


You're gonna have to tune in at 8pm eastern just like everyone else.
posted by sneebler at 7:48 AM on June 8, 2016


Or, better yet, just one widow with the boat to herself.

this is exactly the plot of a Marguerite Duras novel: The Sailor from Gibraltar
posted by spindle at 7:54 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


The name "ResidenSea" sounds like something Margaret Atwood would make up for a dystopian novel. And we all know how well those go!
posted by barchan at 7:54 AM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


Please support my Kickstarter so I can raise enough to just barely afford a room and become that neighbor that they're all disgusted by.

I will be making my donation in the form of Christmas Tree Shops gift certificates. A door wreath for every occasion!

I cannot overstate how much I love this store.
posted by maryr at 8:20 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hmm. Putting all the ultra-rich on something that could be sunk directly into the ocean. It has its appeal.
posted by xingcat at 8:21 AM on June 8, 2016 [14 favorites]


The HOA meetings must be the most horrifying shitshow EVER.
posted by sexyrobot at 8:32 AM on June 8, 2016 [8 favorites]


So, this stirs a couple of thoughts:

1. I had a dream a couple of weeks ago about Earth being incorporated into The Culture of Iain M. Banks (not discovered by, because they were already here), and one of the Minds becoming a huge fan of our little website and naming itself MSV Plate o' Beans and basically being a place where members of Metafilter were free to go and live and just hang out and explore the galaxy together. It was cool and weird and then I woke up and remembered that Iain M. Banks is dead.

2. This story makes me want to do a reboot of Under Siege except that I want to incorporate the idea of the misplaced cop/taxi driver from Die Hard or Fifth Element instead of a retired special forces soldier who was forced out for reasons, man. Because I think we could do more with the 1% element of this potential story if we have a working stiff in the hero role. Anyways, that made me start thinking about who should play the villain, which reminded me that Alan Rickman is dead.

So, basically, people I admired are dead and now I'm depressed and just want to set the boat on fire.
posted by nubs at 8:33 AM on June 8, 2016 [16 favorites]


I met a few The World residents on a vacation in India. We were all on the Maharajah's Express, a ridiculously luxury tourist train that makes week-long trips through India, sort of a cruise ship on rails. (Which was totally great, BTW.) About 8 people from The World were on the trip with us, a collection of ~50 well heeled tourists.

And boy were The World people obnoxious. Vulgar. We learned the first day not to dine when they did, to avoid the loud bully man. Most of them drank enough to be unpleasant. They constantly complained about the service. And the food. Didn't much seem to like the daily tourist excursions either. They mocked the tour director, who admittedly was a bit of a dictator but was a good man trying to make us happy. They were the stereotype of rich people who are too dumb to appreciate the things their good fortune offers them.

I did talk to one woman from the ship who seemed nice enough, more thoughtful. She was traveling alone, and seemed a bit lonely, I'm guessing a widow. She genuinely liked her shipboard life but said it did get a bit boring. Most residents treat it more like a vacation apartment, something to visit occasionally rather than a full time lifestyle. And group decision making is a big deal, particularly setting the ship's itinerary for the next year.

My main takeaway was "rich enough to afford to live on a cruise ship, and then you choose to live on a cruise ship" didn't make for a very interesting affinity group.
posted by Nelson at 8:38 AM on June 8, 2016 [22 favorites]


This looks like a black hotel to me, with the capacity to ship whatever they like, a place where people pretend to go, a laundry.
posted by Oyéah at 8:41 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Makes perfect sense to me. Older people were already living on cruise ships, as they were cheaper than retirement homes, until rules were put in place to block exactly that. This is just the next logical step.

My sister works for Princess/Cunard, and living full time on a cruise ship (well, with stints at The Waldorf or The Savoy if the iterniaries don't line up) is an incredibly common occurance.
posted by sideshow at 8:46 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


I do not think I would like this lifestyle, but I do not wish death on those who choose it.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 8:46 AM on June 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


They've parked this thing along the Portland waterfront a couple of times. It's pretty big, at least compared to the usual traffic we get here on the river.

There are easier ways to get our donuts and artisan chocolate, but I give them points for finding a novel way to solve the trouble of finding parking.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:17 AM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


Wait, what? This monstrosity parked in Portland?
posted by gottabefunky at 9:29 AM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


Does each apartment come with its own underwater minisub access hatch too?
posted by gottabefunky at 9:30 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


See also: Day Four.
posted by gottabefunky at 9:31 AM on June 8, 2016


Gottabefunky: yep! Last visit was in 2009, looks like.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:37 AM on June 8, 2016


Sounds like a mashup of 2012 and Snowpiercer... can't wait for the prole revolt in this apocalypse


Honestly, if I was one of the .01%, this sounds like a great way to protect myself from just that.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:46 AM on June 8, 2016


This is basically like living I'm On A Boat, isn't it?
posted by maryr at 10:18 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


This story makes me want to do a reboot of Under Siege except that I want to incorporate the idea of the misplaced cop/taxi driver from Die Hard or Fifth Element instead of a retired special forces soldier who was forced out for reasons, man.

Action flick meets black comedy. Ex-cop or soldier rents a room on the ship for a vacation. One of the resident passengers turns out to be filthy rich head of some evil corporation, so the ship gets invaded by anti-corporate terrorists. Our rough and tough hero initially sets out to pull a Die Hard and tries to rescue everybody, but in the course of his efforts, his encounters with the rich captives expose him to just how clueless and obnoxious they are,* until finally it ends with him joining the terrorists instead. The crew decides they've had enough as well, so the movie ends as the rich jerks are all either gunned down or tossed overboard, as the crew, the terrorists, and our hero hoist the Jolly Roger and set out to maraud the high seas.

* think Dennis Leary in "The Ref"
posted by dnash at 10:43 AM on June 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Action flick meets black comedy. Ex-cop or soldier rents a room on the ship for a vacation.

I'm thinking more like wins a contest to be on the ship, just so we can have some level of "multi-pass" going on.
posted by nubs at 10:54 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


This is just the practice run for the orbital habitat. Perhaps in the same vessel.
posted by maxwelton at 10:58 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Make it a sequel to some other movie, and the trip is a reward from some rich d-bag the hero saved. So we have two movies worth of justification for the hero to snap.
posted by Etrigan at 10:58 AM on June 8, 2016


expendables 4
posted by poffin boffin at 11:25 AM on June 8, 2016




"Outfitted with a team of leading industry experts – often 20 or more – The World’s Expeditions provide Residents & Guests with an enriching experience that is unparalleled – both onboard and off. The team engages them with meaningful discussions on the culture, natural environment, history, and flora and fauna of each leg on every Expedition." (From the Rare Expeditions page.)

I don't know any anthropologists, biologists, historians, or other serious scholars who would want to be called "industry experts"; most would run screaming from such an appellation.
posted by mareli at 11:46 AM on June 8, 2016


As far as I can tell, every single person in every photo on that site is white, including the staff. I'd write some sort of snarky comment but, really, what's the use?
posted by mcduff at 11:57 AM on June 8, 2016


Now I'm not saying these fuckers need to be the very first ones to be put against the wall when the revolution comes, but the ship will make a pretty good exhibit in the Museum of Capitalist Excess.
posted by Soi-hah at 12:31 PM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


It makes me think of the movie "Metropolis". 280 employees, most of whom work as restaurant waiters, or as maids or janitors, or doing equivalent mundane things. Normally they outnumber the residents.

Where do the employees live? Where do they eat? I'm sure they're not welcome at any of the shared facilities in the upper part of the ship; there must be a cafeteria for them. How is their food?

Do they ever see the sky when they aren't working? What kind of recreation is available to them when they aren't working?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 12:33 PM on June 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Anthony Bourdain had an essay on this boat in his book The Nasty Bits.
posted by Broken Ankle at 12:42 PM on June 8, 2016


Wonder who the douchebag neighbor is aboard this floating prison.

Well... all of them, surely?
posted by Naberius at 12:44 PM on June 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


S.S. Pandemic
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 1:13 PM on June 8, 2016


Where do the employees live? Where do they eat? I'm sure they're not welcome at any of the shared facilities in the upper part of the ship; there must be a cafeteria for them. How is their food?

Imagine that the ship is a pair of horseshoes, one smaller than the other. The outer, larger horseshoe is all the sea-facing space. That's where the paying customers stay and eat and recreate. The inner horseshoe is where the crew space, utilities, engines, etc. are (also, the underwater parts). Basically, if there isn't a window to the ocean, odds are it's crew/work space.
posted by Etrigan at 1:15 PM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


I wonder who supplies the residents with their recreational drugs and what the logistics of that look like. I wonder how much a multi-millionaire in the middle of the ocean pays for an 8-ball when his or her stash runs out. I bet that whole damn ship is whittled out of a solid block of drugs.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 1:18 PM on June 8, 2016 [10 favorites]


Isn't this exactly like the cruise ship in Deep Rising? As soon as they hit the Pacific, they will be bowing before their Cephalopod overlords.
posted by nikitabot at 1:30 PM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Itrigan, there's a map of the upper decks and there isn't any "center" like you describe. The only place for the crew is the lower decks, in the part of the hull that doesn't have any windows.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 2:28 PM on June 8, 2016


suddenly after viewing that webpage I am getting this Netflix ad.
posted by JJ86 at 2:28 PM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


I have relatives that own one of the condos on this ship and it's used as mentioned above, one of their vacation homes used occasionally. They meet it at one port, stay for a while and then get off at another port. They're actually quite nice people that made their money through a lifetime of hard work and good luck but yes their Facebook updates do make me jealous.
posted by chisel at 2:36 PM on June 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


BitterOldPunk, decent chance there are very, very few drugs aboard. As in, strict rules that are actually enforced for realsies.

It's all well and good to snort coke off the coast of the US, but when you arrive in Singapore, it's probably best to be clean.
posted by ryanrs at 2:38 PM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Exactly, it's more the unbuzzed rich, the worst kind of all.
posted by The Whelk at 2:39 PM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


I met a few The World residents on a vacation in India. We were all on the Maharajah's Express, a ridiculously luxury tourist train that makes week-long trips through India, sort of a cruise ship on rails.

I don't find the idea of cruise ships appealing. Never considered trains like cruising but hey I love trains...

So that led me to waste a good hour at work going down the rabbit hole of looking at all sorts train 'cruises' and dreaming of being able to take a train holiday every year. Then I spent another good while figuring out just how much money I would have to make to be able to afford a yearly train trip and a whole bunch of time looking at job listings. I'm working towards a job change anyways and now I've added 'I want to ride choo choo trains' as another motivator.
posted by Jalliah at 2:44 PM on June 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


My bad, it looks like drugs are ok, at least those not in liquid form.
The World Terms of Carriage
3(a) Passenger is not allowed to bring on board the Ship without the previous written permission of the Carrier any intoxicating liquors or beverages, firearms, weapons of any kind, ammunition, explosive substances or any goods of a dangerous nature, nor animals of any kind and description whatsoever except as may be required by law applicable to Carrier and, only in such event, with prior notification to the Carrier and evidence of compliance by the Passenger with all applicable governmental requirements, procedures and approvals.
posted by ryanrs at 2:54 PM on June 8, 2016


So this is awful and I hate everybody on board and everybody who was involved in its construction. Hopefully they pass through one of the garbage patches they contributed to and scoop some up at least.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:51 PM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Imagine that the ship is a pair of horseshoes, one smaller than the other. The outer, larger horseshoe is all the sea-facing space. That's where the paying customers stay and eat and recreate. The inner horseshoe is where the crew space, utilities, engines, etc. are (also, the underwater parts). Basically, if there isn't a window to the ocean, odds are it's crew/work space.

On a normal cruise ship, this might be accurate. But according to the floor plan linked earlier, most suites are so deep that they cover almost half the width of the ship. Apart from some small cabins at the center of deck 7, everything shown is suites or recreation areas.

But since the plan only shows decks 5 to 12, it is pretty certain that the crew is sleeping somewhere on decks 1 to 4, which is probably below the waterline.
posted by ymgve at 5:43 PM on June 8, 2016


Chocolate Pickle: "they'll be passing through pirate-infested waters near Indonesia. I hope some of the 280 crew are combat-trained."

Is piracy really a problem for passenger ships? It would seem the large number of crew and little cargo that can be immediately sold make the return to risk ratio unacceptably high. Container ships are attractive because they only have a crew of a couple dozen, sometimes less.
posted by Mitheral at 5:48 PM on June 8, 2016


Isn't this exactly like the cruise ship in Deep Rising?

oh my god that movie was so bad, so incredibly bad and terrible and not good AND YET i remain bitter that we didn't get a terrible bad sequel of their ridiculous island adventures.
posted by poffin boffin at 5:48 PM on June 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


SO BAD you guys, the most bad
posted by poffin boffin at 5:48 PM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


So when do they hunt crew members for sport on the lower decks wearing freaky animal masks to insure that the gods are appeases and they will have a journey?
posted by Perfectibilist at 6:03 PM on June 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Jesus, this thing is titanic.
posted by clavdivs at 6:12 PM on June 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm sorry, I can't go with the consensus here. This is awesome. Take my house and put it on a ship and I can roam the world constantly while working from home. One evening I get off work and I'm in Lisbon, then Oporto, Bordeaux, Honfleur, Antwerp and Amsterdam. And you decide by vote. This would be like a dream come true for my young teen self, except of course it being a watership instead of a starship.

Like many cool things I and most of the world can't afford it, it's not practical or sustainable to make available ot everyone, and for sure the hoity-toity decor is not to my taste. So yeah, problems with it intellectually. But on a visceral level my main feeling is not disgust. I'll take this as a fantasy life style over the real-existing $5 million homes that are under a mile away from me.
posted by mark k at 7:06 PM on June 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


This is absolutely fascinating to me. I need a reality show of this that I can binge watch for weeks.
posted by bologna on wry at 7:20 PM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


Sadly there is no Reddit AMA of anyone who has lived or worked on this ship. I demand this AMA (although someone already has, albeit fruitlessly).
posted by bologna on wry at 7:23 PM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


At least with a $5 million room on board a big boat the chances of your home being underwater in 10 years drop pretty significantly.
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:33 PM on June 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


chisel: "I have relatives that own one of the condos on this ship...They're actually quite nice people"

If there's one thing I've learned from MetaFilter it's that all rich people are evil, with no exceptions, so your comment must have been a typo.
posted by Bugbread at 7:44 PM on June 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


SO BAD you guys, the most bad

Yes, it's terrible, awful. I definitely do not have a copy of this movie on a thumb drive that is never more than an arm's length away. I am definitely not going to watch it again right this instant eschewing food water and basic hygiene.

o wes studi u have hijacked my heart
posted by um at 12:27 AM on June 9, 2016 [4 favorites]


now I'm depressed and just want to set the boat on fire

Meetup!
posted by quinndexter at 2:49 AM on June 9, 2016 [2 favorites]


Culture-Style Names For 'The World'-Style Ships:

Why Yes, My Other Yacht IS a Benetti
Talk Loudly and Have Someone Carry Unlimited Credit For You
First Under The Wall When The Crash Comes
A Definite Over-Abundance Of Lucre
Tradesmens Entrance Is Round Back

posted by quinndexter at 3:09 AM on June 9, 2016 [1 favorite]


Deep Rising is fantastic. The sequel would clearly be set on Monster Island.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:13 PM on June 14, 2016


Oh, and a tv judge you probably know of

IS IT JUDGE JUDY DOES SHE LIVE ON A FANCY BOAT TELL ME TELL ME NOW

now i want the deep rising sequel to star judge judy
posted by poffin boffin at 7:51 PM on June 14, 2016


Oh man, that might even top Phyllis Diller's role as Mrs. Poopinplatz in The Boneyard
posted by Existential Dread at 8:28 PM on June 14, 2016


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