"My sister insisted that the van lifestyle is a major trend. "

June 17, 2016 12:26 PM

You'd Have To Be Crazy

My sister and I are both, in our own ways, like children. When she saw the coat, she ran for it. She picked it up and oohed and aahed over it, turning it this way and that. She showed it to me, and started talking quickly about how much it might be worth. I got embarrassed by how loudly she was talking, and I thought picking a coat up off the ground might be stealing. I was in Seattle to see her; she said she would tell me about what it was like to be homeless.

You’d Have to be Crazy (Part II)

My parents offered to help my sister on multiple occasions. They sent money, called, offered to help her find work. But the relationship was strained. My parents thought that a lot of my sister’s symptoms were caused by an aversion to work. She thought that my parents couldn’t understand her lifestyle choices and mental-health challenges. She was halfway between seeing herself as being a critic of the system pioneering a new nomadism, and being desperate to change her circumstances. I couldn’t tell if she was faking it or not. I didn’t have much experience with mental illness, and I wondered if she played it up for sympathy and as an excuse to herself for why she found herself in these circumstances.

You’d Have to be Crazy (Part III)

“You see those people?” she says. She pointed to an old man and a young woman on a bench. Totally ordinary looking people. “They’re homeless,” she says. “A lot of people you see on the street that look completely normal are homeless. We don’t all call attention to it.”

You’d Have to be Crazy (Part IV)

I was walking home from work once with my backpack and someone shouted at me, ‘GET A JOB!’” Jay said. “I had a job. I just didn’t have a home. I lived with my partner for 17 years. We made a lot of money, so I lived very, very comfortably. That was until three years ago, when that relationship ended, and I decided to be ‘free.’ Of course, I didn’t really expect that to mean I would lose my apartment, my car, my job. Everything can come and go. You know, it’s a crazy world out here. I wasn’t ready for it I guess.

You’d Have to be Crazy (Part V)

I still had not figured out whether my sister was crazy. In fact, it was difficult to verify a lot of the stories I had been told by a lot of the homeless people I met. Several of them may have been nuts, or angling for something, or trying to come across as better than they really were. Stories about their pasts could have been invented, or exaggerated. They may all have been unworthy of special compassion. Who knows?

I was staying with my childhood friend, Adam. He has known my sister since we were kids. But so far, she hadn’t seen him. “He’s hanging out with professors and stuff,” she said. “I didn’t want to embarrass you. Look at my haircut. I didn’t shower in four days.” She held out her uneven hair, which she had cut herself.

“You don’t embarrass me,” I said.

People become homeless because of a tiny problem that gets them at the wrong time. It is a refugee crisis in slow motion. There was no one catastrophe, but millions of quiet disasters. So far, these small problems haven’t added up in our minds. It is easy to ignore until it is your sister or your daughter or your friend, and then you can’t ignore it anymore.

posted by the man of twists and turns (18 comments total)

Thanks for posting this. I can only bear to read Part 1 for now.
posted by Bella Donna at 12:47 PM on June 17, 2016

This is so close to home.

I had a landlady kick me out over 100$ that I would have had to her by the end of the week. After that, my relationship with my dad went on the rocks for a while because of his stereotypes about homelessness, I regularly get judged on the bus and with my bike and backpack, and I have had so many pepper assume that because I'm in this state I WANT something from them.

Her talking about her mental unless and aversions to certain kinds of work really ring home to me too. I cannot work with large crowds anymore - anxiety attacks galore. Or in noisy, chaotic environments. I can't sit for more than an hour because of a chronic hip problem my last job exacerbated. Where does that leave me? I love massage as a profession but it isn't supporting me financially even though it does in every other way, and holding onto the 2 days a week I do work, even if it's just part time, keeps me from getting other work lined up.

While I've been camping in the woods, I have had to see all my neuroses, laid bare. That's psychologically straining. I'm so glad I have friends and an emotional support system in place to help with those pieces, and I'm slowly becoming less neurotic because of it. So there a bright side to my situation, which resembles the sister in the articles so much I get vulnerable feelings just reading them.

And I'm one of the ones that's visible. I see people all the time that are effectively invisible to society, and it makes me question the 1330 something number I read in the Portland Tribune a couple weeks ago.

The idea that because there are a group of people who are so mentally dysfunctional they can't earn money and thus can't have a roof over their head, eat, or be treated with dignity is ... Galling to me.

Thanks for posting this.
posted by thebotanyofsouls at 1:38 PM on June 17, 2016 [20 favorites]

I remember it so vividly: 1980, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Massachusetts. Eleven years old.

The sight of a man sitting on a curb, late at night, was so strange that my parents stopped and asked if he was all right. He was.

Only weeks later, it was completely different. Some mentally unstable people attended our church service, and they screamed abuse at both the priests and a bi-racial person. No one did anything because this was all so new and you could see people's brains exploding: aren't we supposed to be compassionate? I remember being terrified because if the adults couldn't stop them, could they hurt me? and this was the beginning of my aversion to anything too bleeding liberal.

At that exact same time, a soup kitchen at the church opened, and it still operates to this day. Homeless people are just part of the landscape. Some are still disruptive (I just took a whole course on how to handle that), more just quietly sit around and ask for coffee money.

What a life-changing moment in time. And so baffling that it's only gotten much worse since then. There have always been types of people who refused to conform to the system; where were they before 1980?
posted by Melismata at 2:20 PM on June 17, 2016 [5 favorites]

There have always been types of people who refused to conform to the system; where were they before 1980?

I can't quite tell from your comment, but just in case you (or others) aren't aware: "Ronald Reagan’s shameful legacy: Violence, the homeless, mental illness"
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:33 PM on June 17, 2016 [25 favorites]

It's a problem space I have studied in various dimensions. I recall talking about it many years ago with someone. Part of why they de-institutionalized people is because a lot of the institutions were so awful. So they wanted to free people from being trapped in what were essentially prisons for the mentally ill. They didn't think out exactly how these people would take care of themselves after they left. Some people had been in an institution their entire life and were given a suitcase of their stuff and walked to the front door with zero preparation for what the world outside of the institution was like.

The Happiness Gap is another FPP posted today about how unhappy American parents are. It talks about the lack of cultural and policy support for families in the US and how that causes American parents to be so much more miserable than most parents on planet earth. I posit that these two problems space from these two FPPs -- lack of support nationwide for families and homelessness and mental health et al -- are deeply related.

If you really want fewer people on the street and in the prisons, you need to start making it possible for parents to do right by their kids without having to battle all of society in the process. Society needs to be more supportive of anyone raising kids, whether single or married, rich or poor.

The fabric of America society has become frayed. High levels of homelessness is a symptom of that, not a cause. Trying to spot treat homelessness does very little and sometimes merely magnifies the problem. When you create programs to "help the homeless" you kind of incentivize being homeless.

One of the most startling things to me about being on the street is that I could walk into a homeless services center and get assistance no questions asked. They didn't ask how much my income was or if I had a job. I was homeless. I qualified.

I have a lot of criticisms of many of the services aimed at helping the homeless. I mostly keep them to myself. When I do blog about them, I try to talk as much as possible about those things that work, not those things that don't. I sometimes wonder if this lack of pointed criticism constitutes a failure on my part to warn homeless people of defects and problems they should be aware of.

But, the thing is, we need to make society work better. And while it is wonderful if people have a better understanding of who the homeless are, they aren't all mentally ill, violent, etc. So I am concerned that pieces like this, while well meaning, may be counterproductive.

We need more genuinely affordable housing in this country and we need more support for family/parents. Those two things wouldn't solve this problem, but it would dramatically reduce it. Some people are on the street simply because they cannot afford housing because there is no affordable housing for someone single who wishes to live alone and has a limited income. You need enough income for a home designed for a family in order to live alone. That wasn't always true in this country.
posted by Michele in California at 2:52 PM on June 17, 2016 [17 favorites]

One of the things I tell people about us homeless folk is that you will find all the different kinds of people who aren't homeless represented in the homeless community. The percentages will be different (it's easier to become homeless when coming from the a lower socio-economic position) but the people are the same. The difference? Homeless people don't have a support network to keep them from becoming homeless. Sometimes they never had one, sometimes they burn through it, and others don't want to use it. But that's it.

The observation about not being able to recognize homeless people is very accurate. I live in a college town and even though I in my late 40s (with hair to match), because I remain clean, clean-shaved, generally short hair, and carry a day pack, many assume I'm a student. With enough experience you learn to spot the minor details but for a lot of people they have no idea.

Not all homeless people panhandle. In fact it's almost like two different communities. I never see people who fly signs at the soup kitchens, for instance.

Not all homeless people have drug addictions or mental disabilities. Yeah, many do but by no means is it all.

And I do think that van living is the future. Not just for the homeless and low income crowd but for young people who want to change jobs and states every year or so. It just makes sense.

There are so many stories like this one in the post. And I'm very glad to see these stories told this well. The homeless situation is vast and far-reaching in America and precious little is being done about it.

And the resentment that many people feel toward the homeless boggles the mind. I used to live in a shelter (pro tip: don't) and it just added to the feeling of deserving the hatred that society feels toward us homeless people. Shelters take you when you're down, throw you some scraps of humanity, and then do everything to strip you of whatever dignity you had left. Shelters are not the answer.

I'm living in a tent in the woods and am much happier now. I feel like a human being again. I can walk into stores and not avert my eyes and apologize for being there. A van would be nice but that requires money and being able to find places to park. Fortunately I live in a smallish town where it's fairly easy to walk everywhere.

Anyway this was a terrific link and I'm just rambling.
posted by bfootdav at 3:15 PM on June 17, 2016 [31 favorites]

If you paid close enough attention to what is going on in the world, the consensus reality we are expected to adore, embrace itnwould make you crazy, if you let it. Homelessness is in somenways, the ultimate anarchy, the ultimate protest. It has a zen quality of walking away from the worldwide, house of cards. Infex a woman last summer who asssured me she had been on the streets for only three days. It is now this summer, she is homeless again. Fema moved her and her spouse to northern Utah away from Katrina. She workednas a cleaner forna chemical company, down near New Orleans. She had cancer, she is in recovery, her husband died. She is very nice, there is a huge street and recovery community in the small town where I live, a railroad hub. In fact this small town has abundant scary stuff. I don't want to be her friend, she hangs out near the post offfice. So. Who can invalidate our choices?
posted by Oyéah at 3:52 PM on June 17, 2016

I saw a lot of people who it was impossible to meet because they were on their cell phones.

I've pretended to be talking on my phone to avoid people; I bet most women have. Nobody owes you their attention just because you feel like chatting.

I watched people walk right past people on the street who were clearly disturbed, to the point of being helpless, and do nothing. So who was really crazy?

I walk past people in Seattle who are clearly disturbed. I'm not proud of this, but I'm also not ashamed. It's okay to not want to be directly, personally involved in someone's distress, particularly if you don't know what the situation is and if you're putting yourself in danger by approaching them.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:55 PM on June 17, 2016 [16 favorites]

Not editing to add: overall I liked the article and his insights. Those two points bugged me.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:56 PM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

I live in Portland. I have been here 9 years now. There used to be tents and homeless folks who lived out on the streets under some of the bridges. Some of them in the park. One encampment in Forest Park, like a fairy tale.

When I worked for a large trucking company they were right under the I 5 overpasses. It has grown so there are no bridges without people under them. One X mas I spent some money on power bars and socks and blankets. I made up bags and took them over. It made me cry on the way home, because it was nothing. It was only a drop in an ocean, and it was all I could do.
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 8:19 PM on June 17, 2016 [7 favorites]

I worked at a homeless services agency in San Francisco from 2001-2003. We housed clients with dual-diagnoses in our main building and supported (and built) apartments that helped many people get off the streets. We had computer labs and a chefs program and GED classes that led many people into entry-level jobs. There's a long waiting list to get into supportive housing and those who don't qualify often fall through the cracks. Most of the students in our GED classes never passed the GED.

That said the dual tragedies of mental illness and addiction leave so many homeless out of housing - in many cases shelters will only support those who are clean and sober. Shelter rules are strict, you have to surrender all of your personal information, you have to be clean and sober when you arrive (no addictions!), no dogs. Not to mention that you have to be out by 7 or 8 am and can't come back until you stand in line at 5-6 pm. Where do you go from 8am until 5? If there are enough beds, you can crash on a cot (or the floor!) in a room with 30 or more others. Is there any question why this is less than ideal?

Especially in cases of addiction or mental illness, shelters mostly suck. Tent cities seem OK, but there's no toilet or shower and little chance for support or GED or computer classes.

That the author's sister was aware enough to be able to live in her van and survive puts her way above many homeless folks. The fact that she calls it "a major trend" is a slap in the face to many many people who aren't so cognizant or wealthy enough to own a van.
posted by bendy at 1:51 AM on June 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

One of the most startling things to me about being on the street is that I could walk into a homeless services center and get assistance no questions asked. They didn't ask how much my income was or if I had a job. I was homeless. I qualified.

For the sake of clarity, I do not believe we should put more conditions on getting help while homeless. A lot of the programs do have very objectionable conditions (like a requirement to store all your worldly possessions in an unsecured area while you eat where anyone can walk off with them and fuck you if it does disappear). But as someone who had always been middle class and had a lot of problems and didn't qualify for assistance because I made too much money or I wasn't sick enough or REASONS, I had never before run into "Ah, you have X problem. You qualify."

I think we need a whole lot more programs where if you have X problem, you qualify, without filling out boatloads of paperwork and running through an application process that feels like a full-time job and proving you are ALSO poor enough AND virtuous enough, etc ad nauseum. We need more programs where if you have kids, you qualify. If you have a disability, you qualify. If you have a health issue, you qualify.

We need to start doing better at taking care of people just because they are people, before it gets to the point that they are homeless. And I am not saying we do great by homeless people, but the fact that I did not need to explain to anyone why my alimony and freelance work was insufficient to my needs and I could just show up and receive free food and free clothes meant meant that I had some leeway for working on solving my problems that a great many Americans seem to lack.

For so many Americans, trying to make their lives work means living far from work in order to find affordable housing, then having their time and money gutted by the commute that can take two hours when traffic is bad and has your old clunker in shop every time you turn around because of high mileage and the wear and tear that goes with it. And when they complain, they get lectured that they lack some personal virtue or other and should just make better choices. They get little or no acknowledgement that the system does not work for most people and there aren't enough viable options.

So, I would like to see America providing more options that actually work for "the common man" without a whole lot of conditions attached. Building small, genuinely affordable housing that is decent and is available via the market and not via application to some low income housing program would be a good first step. If it fills up overnight and is a viable business model, hey, build more until the excess demand is met and you no longer have a line of applicants going down the block and around the corner on day one.
posted by Michele in California at 10:00 AM on June 18, 2016 [5 favorites]

One X mas I spent some money on power bars and socks and blankets. I made up bags and took them over. It made me cry on the way home, because it was nothing. It was only a drop in an ocean, and it was all I could do.

Hey LuckyMonkey21 don't underestimate the value of what you did. For years I would get angry when watching all those crappy TV shows where the characters would volunteer at soup kitchens during the holidays and would ask "What about the other 363 days a year, assholes?". But now that I attend said soup kitchens it turns out that I really do appreciate the extra effort that goes into these holiday meals (most meals at most soup kitchens are really, really terrible so getting this one or two good meals a year is actually a nice treat). It surprises the hell out of me but there it is. Likewise whenever someone new goes out of their way to do as you did many of us realize that it's not just the food and blankets but the fact that someone cares. You probably won't get many thanks for it (there's a whole social phenomenon there that's worth exploring -- but somewhere else) but the feeling is there.

> One of the most startling things to me about being on the street is that I could walk into a homeless services center and get assistance no questions asked. They didn't ask how much my income was or if I had a job. I was homeless. I qualified.

Hey Michele in California, this, right? The first two months I was homeless I subsisted on one package of ramen noodles a day. There are plenty of soup kitchens in my town but I honestly didn't think I would qualify since I'm single, in good mental/physical health, no children, able to work, etc, and therefore didn't even try. I was positive that first I would have to spend three + months in some kind of government bureaucracy hell in order to prove that I needed assistance which would probably be refused before I could even set foot in one of these soup kitchens. But then another homeless guy happened to mention that nope, I could just walk in and they'd feed me no questions asked. And he was right. But how much more help is out there that I/we don't know about and how many more people suffer like I did just out of ignorance?

like a requirement to store all your worldly possessions in an unsecured area while you eat where anyone can walk off with them and fuck you if it does disappear

I had my backpack with my laptop and meds and journal and basically everything I had of value stolen while at one of those things. Needless to say now I do not ever go to meals like that ever. I'm not even going to find a place to stash my stuff first because ultimately it's not worth it. I can skip a meal or three but having my laptop is critical -- it's the only way I have to get out of this situation.

Homelessness is in somenways, the ultimate anarchy, the ultimate protest. It has a zen quality of walking away from the worldwide, house of cards.

Hey Oyeah, yeah this is an interesting aspect to it. And one that needs to be dealt with delicately at least in the US. I know one person who helps the homeless and is a very compassionate guy but whenever he hears that there are some people who want to be homeless he goes off the deep end saying that he doesn't want his money going to help "enable" (god that word) this kind of laziness. The fact that very little tax money goes directly to the homeless is immaterial. There's some kind of American Dream Moral Prescription being violated or some such. But yeah, from our perspective as homeless we do see a lot that is fucked up with society and getting back into that shit hole is just as scary as living on the streets. It's complicated.
posted by bfootdav at 2:05 PM on June 18, 2016 [6 favorites]

But how much more help is out there that I/we don't know about and how many more people suffer like I did just out of ignorance?

Oh, no doubt, most homeless people don't know enough about what is actually available. And, especially after being burned good one time, many people don't want to take more risks. As you say, we have too little to be able to afford that kind of loss.

I never had my stuff stolen, but at one meal site, I sat next to a woman who had a heart condition and had just gotten out of the hospital and all her stuff was stolen. It was going to be cold that night and I think rainy and the meal site was also giving away clothes and bedding after the meal. No one took her to the front of the line to make sure she got enough replacement stuff to make it safely through the night and not die of hypothermia. Not their fucking problem that her stuff got stolen for following their damn fucked up rules.

If this were some middle class eatery, this would be bad press and a law suit. But if you are homeless, you are supposed to grovel and say "Thanks for feeding me" and suck it up that we got all your worldly possessions stolen other than the clothes on your back. Because we are so kind and loving and wonderful and interested in making your pathetic life better.

I do what I can to make information available in a way that seems reasonably safe for me. I think it makes a small difference. I hope that it will eventually make more of a difference.
posted by Michele in California at 2:24 PM on June 18, 2016 [5 favorites]

I think the article seems to have changed significantly since you posted it to remove the familial focus, sadly.
posted by corb at 11:48 PM on June 21, 2016

I try not to give with my ego. That negates the giving. I feel like there shouldn't be this little to go around in a country that consumes some crazy out of whack percentage of the world's resources.

I hope Hilary does something about it.
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 2:32 PM on June 22, 2016

It's a different article now. How weird.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:16 PM on June 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

This article has been reformatted and amended from its original publication to reflect a change of focus in the narrative.


:(
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:14 AM on June 23, 2016 [1 favorite]