Late 30yr Little Person keep getting hit by Married (fetish) men. Advice

June 17, 2016 1:08 PM

My case is very similar to this woman's story: http://ask.metafilter.com/133925/Why-do-I-attract-married-men. Otherwise I feel I'm at my wits end regarding this issue. Would appreciate thoughtful answers, as I've asked this in other forums and have gotten some of the jealous lot who say I must be a flirt, I must dress sexy, I'm a hoe, etc. -- which all are not true and are really the opposite. I have strict rules of having male friends to only past work colleagues, classmates and social circles. I'm a 4' short-statured Little Person and have an average-size torso with shorter arms, legs. I am single, I'm Asian, I've never been married. I'm a pretty serious person and work hard at what I do, altho I'm currently unemployed. I think I'm avg. looking, altho I get compliments often enough. I'm sure I'm past the "prime" age of getting a normal 25-35-yr old man who is looking to settle, get married, and have kids. During those years I was not ready as I was w/ an unavailable alcoholic and have been slowly going through recovery from a very dysfunctional childhood and come-around from self-hatred, changing friends and severing emotional ties from my family. I've posted previously that I'm in the works of filing a restraining order against 2 mentally unwell men, one who is married (former prof) and has been stalking me for 4 years. Unfortunately since him, I've had other married or unavail men outrightly stalk or harass me in person (we're talking various from too young, to addicts, to the past 60+) - to persons following me in stores, to some phishing for my information on any social media sites (including uncommon ones like Amazon). I've now since closed, changed all my accts to anonymous and use the block tool quite frequently to avoid them finding me. I've shown being w/ previous bf's and that doesn't work. I've never published, said anything sexual, luid or teasing to any of these men to get these responses. I've in fact, done the opposite and have often rejected these men outright, to running away/changing seats all the time, to publicly shaming them online... but all it does is seem to fuel them more. I've had trouble w/ such men crossing boundaries at work, school, support groups, even the bookstore. Normal men I know do not handle rejection by continuing to pursue. I don't feel beautiful or normal women get this kind of attention. As a Little, and I hate to admit, disabled person... is it a cold, unhappy truth that I'm always going to attract weirdos, the sociopaths, married cheating men, as well as the unmarried-way-too-old just because they think I'm a reject/and or that I have no options? Oddly, I've noticed when I was 27-33ish, I never got this kind of attention, but it feels the older I'm getting, the more (unwanted) attention I'm getting from men who I know are looking for a fetish, relationship with me to control. I've started becoming more abstinent or resentful of men b/c I just don't like to deal with this, knowing I'm attracting those kinds of people. Is this really just down to stupid human selection and these inept men being rudely clueless? My apologies if I'm sounding rather bitter, angry and powerless... hence why I'm asking for help. Thank you.
posted by sam3cat (1 comment total)

This belongs in AskMe.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:09 PM on June 17, 2016