seinfeld.wad
June 22, 2016 7:41 AM   Subscribe


 
Jerry's death cry is perfect.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:50 AM on June 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


What's the deal with extra-dimensional demons?
posted by Sangermaine at 7:51 AM on June 22, 2016 [10 favorites]


Do you have any idea how much time I waste in this apartment?
posted by beerperson at 7:52 AM on June 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


Man, I don't think I've played Doom since the 1990s but everything came flooding back when I heard those sounds.

I don't know why but I found this sort of creepy. Something about the way the cast wanders around aimlessly with those bitmapped heads. Amazing piece of work though.

"Newman!"
posted by bondcliff at 7:53 AM on June 22, 2016 [4 favorites]


SERENITY NOW
posted by lmfsilva at 7:58 AM on June 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


Man, I don't think I've played Doom since the 1990s but everything came flooding back when I heard those sounds.

That door opening. Get ready to strafe and dodge some fireballs.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:58 AM on June 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


Needs more Barney.
posted by I-baLL at 7:59 AM on June 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


WHY DID IT TAKE HIM SO LONG TO START SHOOTING
posted by delfin at 8:04 AM on June 22, 2016 [13 favorites]


Silly programmer. Newman can't be killed.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 8:05 AM on June 22, 2016


It's true. When you control the mail, you control information.
posted by beerperson at 8:06 AM on June 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


It's true. When you control the mail, you control information.

I hope there's a Seinfeld 2000 story where Newman joins the NSA.
posted by lmfsilva at 8:08 AM on June 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


Doom 3 would have had Kramer suddenly launching himself at you through the front door.
posted by Artw at 8:15 AM on June 22, 2016 [5 favorites]


I don't think we've ever seen Jerry's bedroom before, have we?
posted by Paul Slade at 8:16 AM on June 22, 2016


Newman is a Postman, so I feel there was a Going Postal joke missed in there which would have tied the 90s gamer/sitcom/cultural panic bundle into a tidy little package.

Nevertheless! Well done.
posted by notyou at 8:17 AM on June 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


Paul Slade:
I don't think we've ever seen Jerry's bedroom before, have we?
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/3OqAgglKIaM/hqdefault.jpg
posted by Vendar at 8:22 AM on June 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


Also, apparently there is a site called "Fantasy Floorplans" that sells... exactly that.
posted by Vendar at 8:25 AM on June 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


This should have been the last episode.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:34 AM on June 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


Kramer exclaims "Yo-Yo Ma!" the first time you shoot at him. I am satisfied.
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:42 AM on June 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


This should have been the last episode.

Are you kidding? This should have been every episode.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:59 AM on June 22, 2016 [4 favorites]


Came for the secret room, left satisfied.
posted by Frayed Knot at 8:59 AM on June 22, 2016


I don't think we've ever seen Jerry's bedroom before, have we?

I don't think the set includes the bathroom beyond what's visible from the living room, either. At least as far as I can remember.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 9:18 AM on June 22, 2016


God this really drives home that Seinfeld is the only show to even remotely approach realistic NYC apartment sizes.

I still couldn't afford it of course, but still. It exists.
posted by shmegegge at 9:19 AM on June 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


I hope there's a Seinfeld 2000 story where Newman joins the NSA.

TSA surely?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 9:24 AM on June 22, 2016


I've never been able to get Doom. I love it in theory - it's right in my wheelhouse. I had fun times in the college computer lab with Wolfenstein. Do not start me on the excellent, excellent Hired Guns or Dungeon Master or even those early FreeScape™ games. The fact that every time geeks find a device which can be "encouraged" to execute arbitrary code Doom is usually the second thing installed after Linux on general principle flat-out delights me. Doom the game itself has never clicked though, which is a shame.

All that said, this is so, so spongeworthy and I applaud the effort which has gone into it.

Now do Frasier!
posted by comealongpole at 9:24 AM on June 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


Now do Frasier!

Hell, I've already made the soundtrack!

posted by cortex at 9:51 AM on June 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'd say the Frasier aesthetic more lends itself to Myst, what with the elegantly rendered tasteful interiors, cerebral puzzles, tossed salad and scrambled eggs, and whatnot.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:55 AM on June 22, 2016 [8 favorites]


I don't think we've ever seen Jerry's bedroom before, have we?

In a couple episodes. Kramer wakes him up in the middle of the night, but it's always just shots of him in bed. There's no "bedroom" set, afaik.
posted by lkc at 9:56 AM on June 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


A long time ago a buddy of mine was working on a Doom 2 total conversion into a Sonic game called Sonic Robo Blast 2. Eventually it was a pretty feature complete third person platformer, but early on it was basically a bunch of Doom wads of sonic-style levels tacked on to normal doom. The best part was once you got past the Sonic levels you'd end up in hell and proceed to pick up some guns and start mowing down the sprite-swapped badniks you were previously jumping on to kill.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 9:58 AM on June 22, 2016 [5 favorites]


I don't think the set includes the bathroom beyond what's visible from the living room, either.

In the episode in which Kramer discovers that he's a terribly inefficient shower-taker (The Apology), Jerry stands in his own shower in order to demonstrate how to correctly take a shower.

Kramer: "OK. Let's turn the water on now. "
Jerry: "No, I told you, it's just a dry run."
posted by cmoj at 10:46 AM on June 22, 2016


I've logged thousands of gleeful hours in first-person shooters since 199x and I was really unhappy when the shooting started. Those are real/fake people shot there. =[ What's wrong with me?
posted by concavity at 10:54 AM on June 22, 2016


That was 100 hours of work well spent. The audio clips are perfect. I'm at work so I can't look at it, but is this something I can actually load and play from the second link? If so I ma have to do that even if we've seen it all in this clip already.

As for Jerry's bathroom I thought of the shower one too but is that Jerry's shower or Kramer's? I'm not sure it's clear, but it does match the bit of Jerry's we see when Jerry shaves his chest in The Muffin Tops.
I've wasted my life
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 11:01 AM on June 22, 2016


It's totally Jerry's shower. In both The Apology the OTHER shower episode (The Shower Head), we see Kramer in his own shower, preparing a meal and being blasted away by the Commando 450 respectively. His shower is oriented differently and his bathroom has wood panelling.

I have also wasted my life.
posted by cmoj at 11:07 AM on June 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


"I've logged thousands of gleeful hours in first-person shooters since 199x and I was really unhappy when the shooting started. Those are real/fake people shot there. =[ What's wrong with me?"

Maybe if you imagine it as a sprawling complex of dozens of living rooms, hundreds of smarmy Jerry Seinfeld heads, and a shotgun rampage of bloody gore? Works for me.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 11:59 AM on June 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


Needs this as the music, really...
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:37 PM on June 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


Doesn't the one where Jerry shaves his chest show the interior of his bathroom?
posted by en forme de poire at 2:36 PM on June 22, 2016


>> I hope there's a Seinfeld 2000 story where Newman joins the NSA.

> TSA surely?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 9:24 AM on June 22 [+] [!]


I think the way 21st century Seinfeld would handle it, Newman would think he's joined the NSA, but actually he's working for the TSA.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 3:32 PM on June 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


Those are real/fake people shot there. =[ What's wrong with me?

Nothing, I think. I kinda freaked a bit when the shooting started & I realised, "They're going to shoot a woman, aren't they?" I think we're normal?
posted by quinndexter at 7:57 PM on June 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


On the other hand, if this were a game in the Seinfeld universe, I think Elaine specifically would end up being super into fragging everyone.
posted by en forme de poire at 12:55 AM on June 23, 2016 [1 favorite]


Do not make the mistake of classifying anyone in the Seinfeld cast as human.
posted by delfin at 5:37 AM on June 23, 2016


Biddly boo bop.
posted by Artw at 6:04 AM on June 23, 2016


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