Memories of Butter
June 29, 2016 12:53 PM   Subscribe

 
I would trust Arm & Hatchet far more than Arm & Hammer!
posted by Captain_Science at 1:00 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


I kind of want that Baet Simpson shirt.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:05 PM on June 29, 2016 [13 favorites]


Who would actually buy a shirt where the word Massachusetts is spelled so ridiculously wrong? It's hard enough to spell as it is...
posted by Melismata at 1:07 PM on June 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


Let us never forget that Oreo is the original knockoff! Hail Hydrox!
posted by drewbage1847 at 1:07 PM on June 29, 2016 [49 favorites]


Arm and Hatchet?? That's balls, man
posted by jonmc at 1:10 PM on June 29, 2016


Who would actually buy a shirt where the word Massachusetts is spelled so ridiculously wrong?

That's usually how I spell it before my spell checker corrects me.
posted by bondcliff at 1:11 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


My son is also named Baet.
posted by maryr at 1:11 PM on June 29, 2016 [71 favorites]


I'll have the butter with the extra whatnot please.
posted by aubilenon at 1:13 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Remembrance of Butter Past.
posted by idiopath at 1:14 PM on June 29, 2016 [34 favorites]


Panburger Partner wins for its unabashed shamelessness.
posted by schmod at 1:14 PM on June 29, 2016 [10 favorites]


I don't have any rational reason for finding "Skerple" as hilarious as I do.
posted by schmod at 1:14 PM on June 29, 2016 [77 favorites]


I'm not going to look for it while I'm at work, but one of the Vice Do's and Dont's books had a photo of some guy wearing a PALYBOY t-shirt, complete with the Playboy logo, which went all the way around the circle from looking like a cheap knockoff to some kind of amazing.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:15 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


24 Pictures That Are Way Funnier Than They Should Be

When the demands of clickbait preclude you naming your article which has a clear comic premise by its clear comic premise.
posted by little onion at 1:16 PM on June 29, 2016 [10 favorites]


Memories of Butter! I assume it's homeopathic butter?
posted by Lyn Never at 1:17 PM on June 29, 2016 [16 favorites]


Baet Sampsan
posted by schmod at 1:17 PM on June 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


Is Memories of Butter what you use to make your madeleines?
posted by ActionPopulated at 1:21 PM on June 29, 2016 [40 favorites]


Malk!
posted by jeribus at 1:22 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


If I went to the store asking where I could find the Creme Betweens, I believe I would be escorted out by the police.
posted by duffell at 1:22 PM on June 29, 2016 [35 favorites]


Speaking of things that are just slightly "off": I'll never forget the bootleg DVDs that came into my ownership when I lived in Malawi. Because I scanned their covers.
posted by duffell at 1:25 PM on June 29, 2016 [56 favorites]


You've done a man's job, duffell.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:27 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


This post is blatantly pandering to people who like things that are good.
posted by blue_beetle at 1:27 PM on June 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


Ratatoing apparently comes from this Brazilian studio, which exists to rip off Pixar and DreamWorks animated movies.
One reviewer on Toon Zone, in his review of Ratatoing, said: "If you ate a copy of the worst cartoon you could think of, you'd still probably crap something better than Ratatoing", and went on to bemoan the incredibly poor animation, calling the movie as a whole "a senseless waste of raw materials" and "a waste of time, energy and effort for all parties concerned"
Worse yet, they apparently made a Bee Movie knockoff, as if the world needed any more of that.
posted by zachlipton at 1:32 PM on June 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


So You're Telling Me That This Product Which Has The Taste Texture Flavor Consistency And Mouthfeel Of Dairy Butter Isn't In Fact Butter Get The Fuck Out Of Here I'll Take Three Tubs
posted by ORthey at 1:32 PM on June 29, 2016 [61 favorites]


You'll Wish It Was Butter
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:36 PM on June 29, 2016 [103 favorites]


Totally taking me back to the days of Wacky Packages.
posted by davebush at 1:36 PM on June 29, 2016 [9 favorites]


Back in the late 1980s my babysitter bought sweatpants at a flea market. Very cheap for Converse sweatpants. Except they said "CONSERVE".
posted by Monday, stony Monday at 1:37 PM on June 29, 2016 [11 favorites]


I remember seeing Ratatoing on shelf at regular big-box video retailers here in the U.S., so it's not just a bootleg, but part of an Asylum-style scam to fool your grandparents.

I'll admit that I scrolled all the way to the end just to see if "Unbelievable, This Is Not Butter" was there, and I was not disappointed.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:37 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


Please Tell Me This Is Butter
posted by duffell at 1:38 PM on June 29, 2016 [39 favorites]


In case you wanted to focus in on the REAL ISSUES at stake: 12 Things That Definitely Aren’t Butter

posted by quaking fajita at 1:38 PM on June 29, 2016 [9 favorites]


"don't have a box new"
- Baet Simpson
posted by tickingclock at 1:39 PM on June 29, 2016 [21 favorites]


Pubescent Frog of Silent War FTW.
posted by grumpybear69 at 1:39 PM on June 29, 2016 [35 favorites]


Tribute brands?
posted by davebush at 1:41 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


That's Not Yogurt!

(link may be borked for people outside the US of motherfuckin' A, but it goes to the skit from SNL in the 90s)
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:42 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Happytos. Almost Doritos.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 1:44 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


I lost it at MSAEACHUBAETS
posted by yhbc at 1:44 PM on June 29, 2016 [13 favorites]


Some of these knockoffs are obviously intended for people who can't read English, but who know the English-language brand's name by its distinctive shape.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:47 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Are You Sure This Is Butter?
posted by bwvol at 1:49 PM on June 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


well, now, in their rush for cheap lulz, the BuzzFeed writer made a foolish mistake. Frans Tromers was Austria's Federal Minister of the Interior from 1983-1986 and he was, in fact, a giant robot
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:50 PM on June 29, 2016 [56 favorites]


Ratatoing.

On first read my mental voice read it as Rat-a-TOING, where TOING rhymes with BOING, complete with sound effect, and I laughed until I cried.
posted by angeline at 1:51 PM on June 29, 2016 [14 favorites]


My grandmother also shopped at Big Lots for birthday presents.
posted by T.D. Strange at 1:51 PM on June 29, 2016 [8 favorites]


I'm kind of surprised by the PC Memories of Butter one actually. PC (President's Choice) is the store brand of Loblaw Companies Limited which I think is the biggest grocery retailer in Canada. In the '90s (?) they went crazy marketing everything as "Memories of ...". Memories of Tuscany Ham or Memories of Szechwan peanut sauce. Then they started to really stretch the concept to weirder things like Memories of Dad's Grill burgers or Memories of Boreal Forest paper towels (not really). I think nowadays it mostly lives on in the sauces section. I don't ever remember seeing the butter/margarine one, but it's a bit more copyright infringy than I'd expect from a major retailer.
posted by Kabanos at 1:52 PM on June 29, 2016 [5 favorites]


What The Hell Am I Putting On My Toast?!
posted by tittergrrl at 1:52 PM on June 29, 2016 [37 favorites]


WTF is this? Because It Sure Ain't Butter!
posted by mcstayinskool at 1:53 PM on June 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


You'll Wish It Was Butter

Wasn't that Olestra's slogan?
posted by jackbishop at 1:53 PM on June 29, 2016 [9 favorites]


MSAEACHUBAETS anagrams to A BASE MUSTACHE.
posted by maryr at 1:55 PM on June 29, 2016 [5 favorites]


'"Eat The Middle First" Cookies' is a pretty great name for an Oreo knockoff that's up here in Canada.
posted by ambilevous at 1:55 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


I am SO INTO idea of Godzilla movies where is name is re-signed as Big Fella.
posted by penduluum at 1:55 PM on June 29, 2016 [13 favorites]


I'm Concerned About This Butter. It's Not Butter at All! Without Trust, There Can Be No Love.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 1:55 PM on June 29, 2016 [18 favorites]


Courtesy of You Don't Know Jack:

I’m Very Angry That It’s Not Butter
I'm Depressed That It's Not Butter
Let's Negotiate How Much Of This Is Butter
I Accept That It's Not Butter
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:57 PM on June 29, 2016 [34 favorites]


Re #10: Robots in disguise! - I was at Meltdown Comics in LA recently (live your dreams, kids), and they had a section with a very prominently displayed set of bizarre knockoffs like this. Instead of FRANS TROMERS, though, this package said CHANGE ROBOT in the same font. Reader, I wanted it more than I knew I could care about a not-for-sale novelty item.
posted by psoas at 1:58 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Here's a knockoff name for free: Instead of Borios, why not GLORIOS!
posted by Splunge at 2:00 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Suggestive Of Butter
That Which Is Like Unto Butter
Why Is It A Big Deal To You If This Is Butter Or Not
What Is Butter, Anyway
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:01 PM on June 29, 2016 [22 favorites]


St. Louis has an entire local restaurant chain that's a rip off of Arby's (Pan to camera: "Arby's, You'll Wish It Was Meat!") called Lion's Choice. Which is a gateway to a whole related genre of knock off restaurant chains.
posted by T.D. Strange at 2:02 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Qui beauté eut trop que Baet?
Mais où sont les beurres d'antan!
posted by Zeinab Badawi's Twenty Hotels at 2:03 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


Some of these knockoffs are obviously intended for people who can't read English, but who know the English-language brand's name by its distinctive shape.


"Skerple" is seriously a thing of brilliance.
posted by atoxyl at 2:05 PM on June 29, 2016 [15 favorites]


I can't believe it's not butthurt.
posted by Kabanos at 2:06 PM on June 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


Once upon a time, in a (probably) K-Mart, I saw on an impulse rack of VHS tapes, a Barney knockoff with a different big purple dinosaur on it, entitled "The Big Purple Dinosaur".
posted by Mister Moofoo at 2:07 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Which is a gateway to a whole related genre of knock off restaurant chains.

There's a Mama Gina's nearby me that I have never visited (it does not look very good, to be honest), but always appreciated as the matriarchy's answer to Papa Gino's (which is also not very good).
posted by maryr at 2:08 PM on June 29, 2016


A Vegetable Oil Spread Cleverly Garbed In The Raiment Of Butter
The Quinta Essentia Of Butterness And Yet Not Butter, How Can This Be
"Butter" Is A Category In Your Mind Whose Borders Are Yet Flexible
Your Journey Down A Path Of Questioning All That You Know And Believe Starts When You Put This On Your Toast
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:09 PM on June 29, 2016 [48 favorites]


Maybe She's Born With It / Maybe It's Butter
posted by jinjo at 2:09 PM on June 29, 2016 [29 favorites]


Check out the marketing blurb at the bottom of the Potato Head knockoff:

"Development Own Elephant Space". Says it all, really.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 2:10 PM on June 29, 2016 [8 favorites]


Hi! It looks like
you're trying to
buy butter!

Would you like help?

* Golly, Yes. Only real
    dairy for me!

* Fuck it. Just give me
    something close.
posted by schmod at 2:11 PM on June 29, 2016 [8 favorites]


What a load of rich creamery butter.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:14 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


buttr
posted by penduluum at 2:15 PM on June 29, 2016 [8 favorites]


A Voigt-Kampff Empathy Test Is The Only Way To Tell That This Is Not Real Butter
posted by aubilenon at 2:16 PM on June 29, 2016 [31 favorites]


Butter, when the walls fell.
posted by backseatpilot at 2:18 PM on June 29, 2016 [21 favorites]


♪Jumpman, Jumpman, did you know your buttcrack's showin'? (ooh!)♫
posted by fuse theorem at 2:20 PM on June 29, 2016


Ratatoing.

On first read my mental voice read it as Rat-a-TOING, where TOING rhymes with BOING, complete with sound effect, and I laughed until I cried.


I read it as Rationing and was thinking, what a horrible video game that must be.
posted by MikeKD at 2:22 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


Dolce and Banana! Love it!

There could also be...
Michael Kwince
Christian Durian
Jean-Paul Gooseberry
Chenet
Mucci (get it? mooch? heehee)
posted by fraula at 2:23 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


Remembrance of Things Butter
posted by nickmark at 2:26 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


I love that the Ninja Tortoise has a sticker that says "Tortoise" on it, just to make extra sure you know its not a turtle.
posted by neilbert at 2:26 PM on June 29, 2016 [16 favorites]


buttr

Parkay!
posted by Melismata at 2:27 PM on June 29, 2016 [10 favorites]


We Have All Laid Aside Disguise But Butter
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:28 PM on June 29, 2016 [9 favorites]


Back in 1999 and 2000, the dollar shops in Melbourne were full of merch (T-shirts, novelty sunglasses, and so on) reading "WWW.MILLENNIUM.2000" (which, presumably, sounded up-to-the-minute in the age of Windows 98 and CD-ROMs). Sometimes I still wish I had picked up a T-shirt from the bargain bin around January 2001, just for the ironic value.

In the same vein, I now want one of the MSAEACHUBAETS T-shirts.
posted by acb at 2:28 PM on June 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


Alice: Well, I can't believe the stuff that is not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter is not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. And I can't believe that both I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and the stuff that I can't believe is not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter are both, in fact, not butter. And I believe... they both might be butter.
posted by amarynth at 2:32 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


The heavens do not fall for such a trifle. Would they have fallen, I wonder, if I had rendered Kurtz that justice which was his due? Hadn't he said he wanted only butter?
posted by nickmark at 2:37 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


I once bought an eighteen pack of Skerples from eBay after laughing for way too long at a picture of one. The listing had a sense of humor; it said stuff like "that's right... SKERPLE!!! You've never heard of the amazing Skerple marker? This is a great value! Give some to your kids for drawing on walls!"

Half of them didn't work, some had weird crappy soft tips, and a few wrote okay but didn't quite match the cap color. None of them were indelible - in fact, they were really easy to del. All of them dried out in a couple months.

I believe I still have a dried Skerple husk or two in a drawer, intermingling with legit Sharpies like a practical joke from my past self. They still crack my shit up. Totally worth the $3.

Also, somehow "skerp" has evolved into a verb in our household. It's when a cat noisily chews on some stray cellophane or plastic, generally with the intent to annoy you into giving it real food.
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:37 PM on June 29, 2016 [66 favorites]


ActionPopulated:
Is Memories of Butter what you use to make your madeleines?
No, you use Butter of Memories for that.
posted by adamrice at 2:38 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


And I believe... they both might be butter.

In a cunning disguise.
posted by Daily Alice at 2:39 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


How Can This Be? For He Is The Kwisatz Butterach!
posted by Mister Moofoo at 2:40 PM on June 29, 2016 [11 favorites]


Ay, I'm Tryin' ta Butter, Here!
(the ad spreads itself)

But clearly the winner is Robert Cop 2. That's at least 5 xmas presents off the ol' listeroo.
posted by petebest at 2:40 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


I'm suspicious that Panburger Partner may actually taste better than the original. And given that they are land dwellers, Ninja Tortise really is the herpetologically correct name.
posted by TedW at 2:41 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


From our trip to Romania: Distortion Android, Deformed Truck, and City Nimrod.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:43 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


I think "Skerple" is one of those infected Pontypool words, I was reading Metroid Baby's comment and realized the brand name it was ripping off had completely vanished from my vocabulary and I had to stop and search my memories and instead of recalling "Sharpie" I kept coming back with fucking "Skerple" and it was genuinely disturbing
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:43 PM on June 29, 2016 [13 favorites]


I Accept That It's Not Butter
oh, man. I would buy that and leave it on my shelf, since I know it would keep at room temperature.
posted by lkc at 2:43 PM on June 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


A Girl Would Know If This Were Butter
posted by Molesome at 2:46 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


I Know What You Did Last Butter
posted by GuyZero at 2:47 PM on June 29, 2016 [15 favorites]


The grocery store that did Memories of Butter has a whole Memories of... line of products. They usually use it for the "ethnic" sauces, turning them into Memories of Korea or what not. But carrying that label over the the margarine was brilliant.
posted by thecjm at 2:48 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Fuck Butter!

(although I suspect that might be something else, and you wouldn't want to confuse them)
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 2:54 PM on June 29, 2016 [9 favorites]


Never mind butter, bring back lard!!
posted by Melismata at 2:55 PM on June 29, 2016


ok but Dolce & Banana is kind of an excellent name for a fancy dessert place with banana splits and flan, you know?

Maybe I'm just having a box new.
posted by a halcyon day at 2:56 PM on June 29, 2016 [22 favorites]


holy hell that camel
posted by capricorn at 2:58 PM on June 29, 2016 [15 favorites]


Skerple isn't the only Sharpie imitation, either. I have a Shariuoe somewhere.
posted by aws17576 at 2:59 PM on June 29, 2016


Actual, Genuine Butter! LOL JK!
posted by Cookiebastard at 3:02 PM on June 29, 2016 [8 favorites]


We Were This Close To Being In Last Tango in Paris, But They Insisted On Real Butter.
posted by tittergrrl at 3:04 PM on June 29, 2016 [5 favorites]




Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. Here, have some butter. --Bertrand Russell
posted by painquale at 3:10 PM on June 29, 2016 [10 favorites]


If I went to the store asking where I could find the Creme Betweens, I believe I would be escorted out by the police.

May God have mercy on the customer who asks the bartender for a shot of Johnnie Worker Red Labial
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 3:14 PM on June 29, 2016 [23 favorites]


As I noted the other day on my social medias, I've never wanted to collect anything until I saw this collection.

Also, you all are my favorites. Favorites for all!
posted by drlith at 3:14 PM on June 29, 2016 [12 favorites]


I Am Altering The Butter, Pray I Don't Alter It Any Further
posted by Behemoth at 3:15 PM on June 29, 2016 [36 favorites]


"A Voigt-Kampff Empathy Test Is The Only Way To Tell That This Is Not Real Butter"

"You see a piece of toast on the ground. It is upside-down. What do you do?"
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 3:15 PM on June 29, 2016 [10 favorites]


"Butter?! I'll tell you about my butter!"
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:18 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


Fuck Butter!

(although I suspect that might be something else, and you wouldn't want to confuse them)


That'd be Boy Butter. (assume it's NSFW)
posted by MikeKD at 3:23 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Butter? I hardly know 'er!
posted by acb at 3:24 PM on June 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


  • It is with a weary sense of resignation that I give up on ever learning whether this is, in fact, butter.
  • I know you're not butter, but could you at least make an effort for the kids' sakes?
  • The Trilateral Commission is trying to keep the truth from you about whether this is butter.
posted by adamrice at 3:25 PM on June 29, 2016 [5 favorites]


"Watch as this food megacorp manufactures a nondairy spread using a blend of oils, water and salt. You won't believe what it resembles!"
posted by drlith at 3:26 PM on June 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


None Dare Call It Butter.
posted by ndfine at 3:27 PM on June 29, 2016 [23 favorites]


Sincerest Flattery of Butter
posted by NMcCoy at 3:27 PM on June 29, 2016 [5 favorites]


Wasn't Frans Tromers a lesser-known Flemish Renaissance painter, or possibly an obscure and enigmatic 19th-century intellectual?
posted by acb at 3:27 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


donald trump's great again butter
posted by pyramid termite at 3:33 PM on June 29, 2016


PANBURGER PARTNER ON A SHARPENER
posted by schmod at 3:33 PM on June 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


We can't stop here... this is butter territory!
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 3:41 PM on June 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


13 Ingredients that Combine to Make a Butter-like Substance. You won't believe #7!
posted by zakur at 3:43 PM on June 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


For That is the Riddle of Butter

Butter? Only a Loony like Him Would Call That Stinking Piece of Emulsion Butter!

No Butter or Worse, I Always Say
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:45 PM on June 29, 2016


Gretchen, Stop Trying To Make Butter Happen!
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 3:46 PM on June 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


Faint of Butter
posted by NMcCoy at 3:47 PM on June 29, 2016 [15 favorites]


NOT SURE IF

BUTTER
posted by Metroid Baby at 3:47 PM on June 29, 2016 [15 favorites]


"A Voigt-Kampff Empathy Test Is The Only Way To Tell That This Is Not Real Butter"

"You see a piece of toast on the ground. It is upside-down. What do you do?"

"Butter?! I'll tell you about my butter!"


"What's butter?"

"Y'know that stuff that tastes just like margarine? Same thing."

this is fun
posted by eclectist at 3:51 PM on June 29, 2016 [8 favorites]


Nobody does it butter
posted by dabug at 3:53 PM on June 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


this is just to say

i have eaten
that spread
that was in
the icebox

and which
you probably
thought
was butter

Forgive me
it was not butter
it gave me intestinal parasites
i'm so cold
posted by Shepherd at 3:54 PM on June 29, 2016 [76 favorites]


Butter. Or Not.
posted by Four Ds at 3:55 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm kind of disappointed it wasn't
Panburger
Partner
beef nodule
posted by jamjam at 3:59 PM on June 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


Mistake Not My Current State Of Congealed Marigold Passivity For The Awesome And Terrible Churning Of Ingredients Too Terrible To Delineate That Are Themselves The Milquetoast Unnatural Constituents Of My Unbutteryness
posted by Molesome at 4:02 PM on June 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


i say it's butter and i say the hell with it
posted by pyramid termite at 4:04 PM on June 29, 2016 [11 favorites]


I now regret not buying that pair of cool Roy Ban sunglasses in Bangkok when I had the chance. I understand that Roy is Ray's younger, less successful brother......
posted by pjsky at 4:07 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


We are all butter now.
posted by scratch at 4:07 PM on June 29, 2016


Think Butter Of It
posted by NMcCoy at 4:08 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


For Butter Or Worse
posted by NMcCoy at 4:10 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


soylent green is butter
posted by pyramid termite at 4:10 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


B̓̆́͛͟҉̖̪͔̤̮̬̥̭̞͍̪̦͟ͅǓ̧̡̠̳̗͈͙͕͖͓̤͕͖̜̝͎̰̫̤̈̾̋͢͡͠T̴̗̳͕̭͔̣̩̞ͥ̌̇ͨ̆̆ͬ̌ͬ̅̓ͮͫ̏ͪͮ̍́͟͞͝T̡͐̉̃̓̂͒̍͟͏̵͏̟̱̤̱͈͓͙͉̝̪̞̲̦Ȩ̴͔̗̠̦͇͈̹̹͇͙̟̭͉͕̪̬̙̘̰̋̂̉̒Ř͊̓ͬ̑̀͏͖̝̪͎̜̝̟͕̗̳̻̙͍
posted by BungaDunga at 4:16 PM on June 29, 2016 [22 favorites]


Big Fella vs. Mecha Big Fella
posted by HeroZero at 4:21 PM on June 29, 2016 [5 favorites]


What Could This Possibly Be Besides Butter
posted by contraption at 4:22 PM on June 29, 2016 [8 favorites]


Frankly, I find it absurd that this is not butter.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 4:23 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


Butter or not, here I come!
posted by BungaDunga at 4:23 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


Memories Of Butter just made me aware that I am now firmly in The Dystopian Future.
posted by sourwookie at 4:28 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Almost, but Not Quite, Entirely Unlike Butter
posted by BungaDunga at 4:30 PM on June 29, 2016 [21 favorites]


Not Even in the Same Time Zone as Butter
posted by gottabefunky at 4:33 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


It Could Be Butter

Smells Like Butter!

You Don't Deserve Butter

What Did You Expect? Butter?
posted by BungaDunga at 4:35 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


Man in Black: All right. Which one is the butter? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both eat, and find out who is right... and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the butter onto his own toast or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the butter onto his own toast, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not believe the butter in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not believe the butter in front of me.
Man in Black: You've made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because butter comes from cows, as everyone knows, and cows are raised by farmers, and farmers are used to not trusting others, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not believe the butter in front of you.
Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black: Farmers.
Vizzini: Yes, Farmers. And you must have suspected I would have known the butter's origin, so I can clearly not believe the butter in front of me.
Man in Black: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally hungry, so you could've put the butter on your own toast, trusting on your appetite to save you, so I can clearly not believe the butter in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned of cholesterol, so you would have put the butter as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not believe the butter in front of me.
Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Vizzini: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE BUTTER IS!
Man in Black: Then state your belief.
Vizzini: I will, and I believe - What in the world can that be? [Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. The Man in Black looks. Vizzini swaps the butters]
Man in Black: What? Where? I don't see anything.
Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. First, let's eat. Me from my toast, and you from yours. [Vizzini and the Man in Black eat]
Man in Black: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched toasts when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Wisconsin" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha... [Vizzini stops suddenly, his smile frozen on his face and falls to the ground dead]
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your butter that was false.
Man in Black: They were both vegetable oil spread. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to imitation butter.
Buttercup: I can't believe it.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 4:38 PM on June 29, 2016 [41 favorites]


Ceci n'est pas de beurre
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:41 PM on June 29, 2016 [14 favorites]


yo just a heads up you can watch all of Ratatoing online as i recently discovered and the first 1.5 seconds made me laugh harder than anything else in like the last two months
posted by Greg Nog at 4:43 PM on June 29, 2016 [26 favorites]


The Butter Was Inside You All Along

(I feel slightly queasy now)
posted by comealongpole at 4:44 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


[sniff sniff]
"Vegetable spread... I'd bet my life on it."
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 4:45 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


Be it butter, or be it not butter...that is the question.
posted by drlith at 4:46 PM on June 29, 2016


Ohhhhhh my god they DO pronounce it TOING. I thought for sure it would really be ra-ta-too-ing and I was just being absurd but no. TOING.
posted by angeline at 4:46 PM on June 29, 2016 [9 favorites]


jeribus: Malk!

Someone is actually selling cold-pressed organic almond milk called Malk. They seem very earnest, which makes me think they may not have Googled their product name beforehand.

If you churn it will it make botter?
posted by Aster at 4:46 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


If You Tolerate This Then Your Butter Will Be Next
posted by comealongpole at 4:47 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


Ohhhhhh my god they DO pronounce it TOING.

There's something about the way the narrator pronounces the title, just the tiniest bit strained and tired in the throat, that screams I Don't Want To Be Here in like the exact same vibe i get from van morrison's Contractual Obligation Album
posted by Greg Nog at 4:48 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


THE BUTTER WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:50 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


Anyone?
Anyone?
Butter?
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 4:51 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Robert Cop is Bleating
posted by idiopath at 4:52 PM on June 29, 2016 [16 favorites]


thrifty jars for
stay at homes
handy tubes
for him
who roams
butter shave
posted by pyramid termite at 4:55 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


Excuse me, have you got any Gray Bouffon?
posted by Flashman at 4:59 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


If Only It Were Butter
posted by DoctorFedora at 5:02 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Butter is coming.
Use this in the meantime.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 5:11 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


Excuse me, have you got any Gray Bouffon?


1: Look over there.
3: Across the street?
1: Yeah, yeah yeah.
3: Um-huh.
1: See that LADY?
3: Yes.
1: What kind of a hairstyle does she have?
3: Uh, that looks like a bouffant.
1: YES. A BOOOOOFFANT!
posted by GuyZero at 5:16 PM on June 29, 2016 [5 favorites]


When in Thailand I bought a Dolce & Cabana wallet for about $3. Once I took the little inlaid card out of it, the only brand indicator was the imprinted D&C logo. It was actually a fine wallet and served me well. Unfortunately, it contained no cabana.
posted by Diag at 5:19 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


I can't believe it's not butthole.
posted by sexyrobot at 5:30 PM on June 29, 2016


Creme Betweens has got to be an escaped LiarTown gag.

My wife and I still/permanently refer to all pancake houses generically as "Kenny's" after one we saw in Honolulu.
posted by ctmf at 5:31 PM on June 29, 2016


Butter or not, here I come!

You can't hide
Gonna find you, and make you want me
posted by a halcyon day at 5:34 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


buttr

¿Por Que?
posted by tilde at 5:35 PM on June 29, 2016 [5 favorites]


On the subject of cheap, unfortunately named products: pedi-file.
posted by jpe at 5:37 PM on June 29, 2016 [5 favorites]


You're gonna need a bigger butter.
posted by vrakatar at 5:46 PM on June 29, 2016


Related, previously
posted by gusandrews at 5:47 PM on June 29, 2016


I Can Neither Confirm Nor Deny It's Not Butter
posted by grog at 5:49 PM on June 29, 2016 [15 favorites]


Now That's What I Call An Approximation of Butter! 58
posted by sobarel at 5:53 PM on June 29, 2016 [8 favorites]


Lessee ... Baet, Caet, Daet, Ee-aet, Msaeachubaet ... nope, can't see any problem with that!
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 6:01 PM on June 29, 2016


There is known butter; there is butter we know is butter. We also know there is known non-butter; that is to say we know there are some things that are not butter. But there is also unknown non-butter – the one we don't know isn't butter.
posted by Behemoth at 6:13 PM on June 29, 2016 [15 favorites]


Recently outside of my local (and beloved, for it imports Czech Jaffa Cakes ) convenience store, Hasty Market, I have seen an advert for an energy drink called "ZAPHOD", proudly displaying the strap line "The Best Bang Since The Big One", by a picture of a skateboarding youth. This isn't of course, trying to replicate any other product's branding, but it's still an inexplicable bit of what I can only assume is IP infringement, as I can't see any reason Douglas Adams' estate would license the name and a tiny portion of text to a low-end drink manufacturer. Sadly, I am unable to find any evidence of this drink on the internet.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 6:19 PM on June 29, 2016 [9 favorites]


Wouldst Thou Like the Taste of Butter?
posted by a strong female character at 6:21 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


If HP Lovecraft did product names:

It Looked, Strangely, Like Butter

The Creme In Between Worlds

The Arm and the Hatchet in the Basement

The Ratatouille in the Walls

Panburger. The Other Flesh

Fran's Traumas

Who's Left? The Voices Ask.

The Mad Arab, Aladdin

Baet Simpson and the Box in the Pyramid

Madness at the City of Borio

Form Four, in the Asylum
posted by Splunge at 6:37 PM on June 29, 2016 [10 favorites]


It's a-me
posted by cortex at 6:37 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


Borio
posted by cortex at 6:37 PM on June 29, 2016 [6 favorites]


Oleo is not a flower from Kansas.
posted by clavdivs at 6:45 PM on June 29, 2016


If I went to the store asking where I could find the Creme Betweens, I believe I would be escorted out by the police.

May God have mercy on the customer who asks the bartender for a shot of Johnnie Worker Red Labial


That should read "Old Crotch Whiskey" surely.
posted by Beti at 6:50 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


My sister and I always call Hello Kitty knockoffs "Greetings Feline." Really bad Hello Kitty knockoffs are called "Hey Cat."
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:56 PM on June 29, 2016 [50 favorites]


The Kids'll Never Know The Difference (tm)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:59 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


value.In the same vein, I now want one of the MSAEACHUBAETS T-shirts.

I would too, if only for the Sound of Thunderish alternate history suggested by eleven stars and seventeen stripes.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:00 PM on June 29, 2016 [15 favorites]


BUTTER? HARDLY KNEW 'ER!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:01 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Hey Cat"

Previously
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:03 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm not entirely sure this is the right place for this, but since this kind of conversation inevitably overlaps with bargain bin, low budget film crimes, I need to know- Has anybody else run across "Janky Vacation?" I found it at Best Buy ~2007. It was obviously meant to be a Wayans Brothers type thing, but it seriously looked like somebody printed the cover on a home printer. I wish I had taken a picture of it (the days before I had a camera phone) because I tried to find it on IMDb about a year afterward, and it wasn't there. In fact, it wasn't anywhere. I've been seriously questioning my sanity ever since.
posted by Krazor at 7:03 PM on June 29, 2016 [5 favorites]


I now want one of the MSAEACHUBAETS T-shirts.

YU NAIM THE ANIMALL.
WEE TAEK YU THAIR.
YU SHOOT ITT.

* with attribution to both Ray Braedbruy and ricochet biscuit
posted by GuyZero at 7:03 PM on June 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


My sister and I always call Hello Kitty knockoffs "Greetings Feline." Really bad Hello Kitty knockoffs are called "Hey Cat."

Somewhere on the site I think I have recounted a dream I had years ago in which I was talking to some Japanese people who were telling me that "Hello Kitty" is a terrible bastardized version of the actual name in Japanese. I asked what the real name is and they told me it actually "Neko hajimemashite*."

*Japanese for "Cat, I am pleased to make your acquaintance."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:05 PM on June 29, 2016 [8 favorites]


NO INFRINGEMENT INTENDED
THIS PRODUCT POSTED UNDER FAIR USE
posted by Existential Dread at 7:15 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


I Can't Believe It's Not Botflies
posted by Existential Dread at 7:31 PM on June 29, 2016 [5 favorites]


On first read my mental voice read it as Rat-a-TOING, where TOING rhymes with BOING

I read it as Rat-a-to-ing, co-starring Rat-a-fro-ing.

But I thought the Jordans with the asscrack were the best.
posted by bendy at 7:47 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


The butter that can be spoken is not the eternal butter.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:59 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


I once found a box of knock-off Lucky Charms in the dodgy grocery store around the corner called Parade of Shapes.
posted by lagomorphius at 8:02 PM on June 29, 2016 [15 favorites]


Due to a massive miscommunication I watched the first half of The Hungry Games once before figuring out that it probably wasn't what everyone was raving about. OMG, so awful.
posted by miyabo at 8:08 PM on June 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


I once found a bag (not a box, a bag) of knock-off Cocoa Puffs called Cocoa Blasters. And yet now Google is failing me in my search for a picture of the package. Does anyone else remember this?
posted by Existential Dread at 8:10 PM on June 29, 2016


PUBESCENT FROG OF SILENT WAR kinda sounds like a legit anime about warmecha or like, computer programs that are actually teenage ghost mutants from the former Soviet Union or something
posted by Doleful Creature at 8:24 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


My sister and I always call Hello Kitty knockoffs "Greetings Feline." Really bad Hello Kitty knockoffs are called "Hey Cat."
What's funny is that Hello Kitty herself is a knockoff of Miffy.
posted by adamrice at 8:38 PM on June 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


Repressed memories of butter
posted by enjoymoreradio at 8:54 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


Surprisingly, This Bucket Is Filled With Actual Butter
posted by Bugbread at 8:55 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Butter?! Butter?! It's not butter. It's only mostly butter.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:00 PM on June 29, 2016


Butter … NOT!
posted by glhaynes at 9:14 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Loser Butter
posted by Kabanos at 9:18 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I think one of them was butter.
Cannot really be sure which.
It doesn't make much difference.
posted by borborygmi at 9:20 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


The unbearable lightness of margarine.
posted by Kabanos at 9:21 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


Senator, I served butter. I knew butter. Butter was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no butter.
posted by perhapses at 9:23 PM on June 29, 2016 [3 favorites]


You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been butter.
posted by perhapses at 9:25 PM on June 29, 2016


My Son Is Also Named Butter.

malking this gag for all it's worth...
posted by maryr at 9:27 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE butter
posted by CrazyLemonade at 9:31 PM on June 29, 2016


Pounded In The Butt By A Pound of Butter
posted by Westringia F. at 9:31 PM on June 29, 2016 [16 favorites]


I've seen the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness
Starving hysterical naked bet they probably could have used a reasonably butterlike margarine
posted by arto at 9:52 PM on June 29, 2016


Invasion of the Pod Butter
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:56 PM on June 29, 2016


Whaddya want from me, butter? In this day and age?
posted by murphy slaw at 10:05 PM on June 29, 2016


Anything but Butter!

I used to have a pack of Skerples at the shop, might still be one around.
posted by boilermonster at 10:09 PM on June 29, 2016


Maybe the Real Butter was the friends we made along the way...
posted by pandalicious at 10:27 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm not here to make butter, I'm here to win!
posted by BungaDunga at 10:36 PM on June 29, 2016


yo just a heads up you can watch all of Ratatoing online as i recently discovered and the first 1.5 seconds made me laugh harder than anything else in like the last two months

wtf this is clearly a dub.
posted by Going To Maine at 10:52 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Schrodinger's Butter! Or it is not butter! At the same time!

We were the real butter all along.

Can it truly be said that anyone has ever known butter?

The Butter of Theseus. We were told that once this was butter. But is it now butter? Was it ever butter?
posted by LeRoienJaune at 11:22 PM on June 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


Butter. Butter Butter Butter Butterbutterbutterbutter. Butter. Just Kidding.
posted by Bugbread at 11:38 PM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]




Just in case nobody's linked this yet, I guess here it is. Butter-like alignments.
posted by destructive cactus at 12:29 AM on June 30, 2016 [6 favorites]






Fraula, I think that Jean-Paul Gooseberry is either an assistant in the cook shack at Paul Bunyan's logging camp, or Quebec's answer to Johnny Appleseed.
posted by wenestvedt at 4:06 AM on June 30, 2016


"Butter" LOL
posted by ardgedee at 4:12 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Several years ago in a market in Jakarta, I saw a metal belt buckle with a familiar motorcycle logo on it. Looking a bit closer, it said HARVEY DANIELSON.

Not so much the bike manufacturer; maybe he was their accountant.
posted by gimonca at 4:25 AM on June 30, 2016 [5 favorites]


Why do I get the idea that all these butter-adjacent products were invented by Krieger to use up his extra mystery milk?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:52 AM on June 30, 2016


Sadly, I am unable to find any evidence of this drink on the internet.

It is in your power to rectify this situation.
posted by solotoro at 4:54 AM on June 30, 2016


Ohhhhhh my god they DO pronounce it TOING.

"Never make light of TOING, son."
posted by Strange Interlude at 5:07 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm Butter, and so is my wife!
posted by Kabanos at 5:10 AM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


This is Not the Butter You're Looking For
posted by Luther_Blissett at 5:14 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hurf durf oleo eater
posted by TedW at 5:47 AM on June 30, 2016 [5 favorites]


Cow Spooge In A Bucket.

Vegan!
posted by petebest at 5:55 AM on June 30, 2016


What's funny is that Hello Kitty herself is a knockoff of Miffy.

The wiki link to Miffy led me a bit further on to the actual Hello Kitty Wikipedia page, where I learned she has a pet cat called Charmmy Kitty*. This leads me to wonder if Japanese students of pop culture have a term for what English speakers know as the Goofy-Pluto Dichotomy.

*And more oddly a pet hamster. Which would seem more like a potential snack, to my thinking.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:59 AM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


*And more oddly a pet hamster. Which would seem more like a potential snack, to my thinking

Snack? But Hello Kitty has no mouth!
posted by TedW at 6:15 AM on June 30, 2016


And so she must scream.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:26 AM on June 30, 2016 [5 favorites]


Does A Dog Have Butter Nature?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:41 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


Is it...Ghostbutter 2?
posted by sexyrobot at 6:58 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


Butter: Never Forget.
posted by Kabanos at 7:09 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Mo' butter blues
posted by dabug at 7:21 AM on June 30, 2016


Thanks for the crazy-person laughing at work, everyone :)

Also I have lived in Iowa, the home of Hy-Vee and "Panburger Partner". They also sell Chicken Partner and Tuna Partner.



I can haz butter?
posted by nakedmolerats at 7:23 AM on June 30, 2016


Some Butter That I Used To Know
posted by nakedmolerats at 7:26 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


I'm Having Very Little Difficulty Believing This Is Not Butter
posted by Fleebnork at 7:31 AM on June 30, 2016 [6 favorites]


'Tis a far, far butter thing.
posted by Death and Gravity at 7:35 AM on June 30, 2016 [7 favorites]


"Butt"er
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:45 AM on June 30, 2016


Stage 1 - Denial: I think this might be butter.
Stage 2 - Anger: What!? Not butter!?
Stage 3 - Bargaining: Isn't it butter?
Stage 4: - Depression: Memories of butter...
Stage 5: - Acceptance: Unbelievable. This is not butter!
posted by schmod at 7:51 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


He Loved Big Butter
posted by nakedmolerats at 8:01 AM on June 30, 2016


Nearly every song on the Monster Ballads compilation could be about a buttery spread:

Butter isn't too far away
Closer to it every day

Almost paradise, we're knockin' on butter's door
Almost paradise, how could we ask for more?

Is this butter that I'm feeling?
Is this the butter that I've been searching for?
Is this butter or am I dreaming?
This must be butter 'cause it's really got a hold on me

More than butter is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that it's butter
'Cause I'd already know

posted by Metroid Baby at 8:13 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Of course, I cribbed "far, far butter thing" from "Murder Must Advertise" which seems to be in Project Gutenberg, but may not be legal in other countries - there's a fun discussion of what the advertising bureau can and can not say about non-butter.
posted by Death and Gravity at 8:34 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Et tu, Butter?
posted by cooker girl at 8:35 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


so that ratatoing on youtube? i wanted to see more, so jumped forward randomly, and landed at.... 13:40. exactly what i want from random acts of youtube.
posted by Wilbefort at 8:42 AM on June 30, 2016


Like Uber but for butter.
posted by emjaybee at 8:42 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


The Butter of Our Discontent
posted by egregious theorem at 9:02 AM on June 30, 2016


Nod to a certain genre of folksy kitsch to which I admit a certain guilty fondness
posted by drlith at 9:05 AM on June 30, 2016


Looks Like Butter Smells Like Butter I Mean Occam's Razor Right?
posted by contraption at 9:23 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Does This Look Like Butter To You?
How Can Butter Be Real If Our Mouths Aren't Real?
Butteresque
posted by um at 9:25 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Call It What You Will, This Has Been Churned And Has A Fatty Creamy Mouthfeel
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:30 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Can I Eat This Butter?
posted by cortex at 9:32 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


Say What You Will About The Tenets Of National Socialism, Dude, At Least It's Butter
posted by cortex at 9:33 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


For Sale: Butter Tub, Never Used
posted by cortex at 9:36 AM on June 30, 2016 [7 favorites]


I Bet You Thought This Was Butter
posted by destructive cactus at 9:36 AM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


You'll Think Long And Hard Before Assuming Things Are Butter, Next Time
posted by destructive cactus at 9:37 AM on June 30, 2016 [6 favorites]


21 Celebrities You Won't Believe Assumed This Was Butter
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:38 AM on June 30, 2016 [6 favorites]


...Then You've Got Another Butter Coming
posted by cortex at 9:39 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Butter Twice Chastened
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:40 AM on June 30, 2016


Butter I Said Butter I Will Butter
posted by cortex at 9:42 AM on June 30, 2016 [7 favorites]


I've got a butter feeling about this....
posted by cooker girl at 9:48 AM on June 30, 2016


Butter The Devil You Know
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:50 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


Rejecting Your Bourgeois Notions of Butter
posted by Bunny Boneyology at 9:54 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Do You Like Butter? Of Course You Do, Who Doesn't?
posted by contraption at 9:55 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Butter bing, butter boom. Nope, I got nothin'.
posted by DesbaratsDays at 10:06 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


It's As Close To Butter As Someone Like You Is Ever Going To Get So Lie Back And Think Of Wisconsin I Guess
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:24 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


You're A Butter, Harry
posted by cortex at 10:26 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


I like real butter, and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a spread is really margarine
Callin' it butter is a goddamn sin
posted by zakur at 10:27 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


Give me the butters of Lethe that numb the heart, if they exist, I will still not have the power to forget you.

-Ovid
posted by Doleful Creature at 10:42 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


What Immortal Hand Or Eye Could Frame Thy Nearful Buttery
posted by cortex at 10:43 AM on June 30, 2016 [8 favorites]


I just want to mention, just to get this off my chest, that I fucking love butter and I don't know why anyone eats margarine. I've known a number of people who are all "what's the difference?" I suspect brain damage or demonic possession.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 10:47 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


I think I've seen every other Star Wars one...

That's no butter.
posted by yhbc at 11:22 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


We're Honestly Not Sure Whether Or Not This Is Butter
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:25 AM on June 30, 2016 [8 favorites]


You're Out Of Your Depth, Butter
posted by cortex at 11:26 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


I Considered The Possibility Of It Being Butter And All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt
posted by destructive cactus at 11:45 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Sad Butter Confessional
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:46 AM on June 30, 2016 [8 favorites]


ERMAGERD SKERPLES!
posted by sourcequench at 12:03 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


I just want to mention, just to get this off my chest, that I fucking love butter and I don't know why anyone eats margarine. I've known a number of people who are all "what's the difference?" I suspect brain damage or demonic possession.

So, back in the 1950s in the US, margarine companies weren't allowed to put yellow dye in the product because the Butter Council or somebody didn't want the customers thinking it was real butter since it would be unfair competition or something. So, you bought the white margarine, it came with a little yellow dye tablet, and you put them into a plastic bag and kneaded it up until it was your desired shade of buttery yellow.

The story goes that Grandma Underpants was in the kitchen one afternoon kneading away at the margarine when Grandpa came in the kitchen door. She turned around to face him, held up the bag of margarine, and cried out, "Look , Dad! It's The Shmoo!" At which point the bag burst and showered both of them with globs of half-dyed margarine.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:04 PM on June 30, 2016 [8 favorites]


I Can Believe It's Not Butter But Then Again I've Got A Pretty Vivid Imagination
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:09 PM on June 30, 2016 [6 favorites]


In Soviet Russia, Butter Doesn't Believe in You!
posted by ardgedee at 12:12 PM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


  • How Dare You Question My Butter's Validity
  • If The Universe Is Really Just One Big Holographic Simulation Then It Hardly Matters If This Is Butter Or Not
  • Butter? In This Economy?
  • No Identification With Actual Persons, Places, Buildings, Or Dairy Products Is Intended Or Should Be Inferred
  • Make America Butter Again
posted by webmutant at 1:08 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Don't Talk To Me Or My Butter Ever Again
posted by cortex at 1:09 PM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


(Seriously, though, it's threads like this that make me wish Metafilter had an "Add Every Single Comment On This Post To Favorites" button.)
posted by webmutant at 1:09 PM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


I'm with Butter.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:14 PM on June 30, 2016


I just want to mention, just to get this off my chest, that I fucking love butter and I don't know why anyone eats margarine.

My wife has a dairy allergy. I suffer in solidarity.
posted by GuyZero at 1:20 PM on June 30, 2016


This Can't Possibly Be Butter
posted by krinklyfig at 1:23 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


My in-laws eat margarine because it is cheaper. There's your slogan: Cheaper than Real Butter!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:25 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


I Am Butter, No Matter What They Say. Words Can't Bring Me Down
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:27 PM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


Everyone Knows It's Not Butter
posted by krinklyfig at 1:28 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Is This Butter? Why Don't You Tell Me
posted by contraption at 1:28 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Butter? GTFO!
posted by krinklyfig at 1:31 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


10 Things I Doubt About Butter
posted by cortex at 1:36 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


BTW, what game is being knocked off by "Who's Left?" That doesn't look familiar to me at all.
posted by krinklyfig at 1:38 PM on June 30, 2016


Butter? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:39 PM on June 30, 2016 [8 favorites]


That's Guess Who?
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:39 PM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


Any feedback from the Butter Business Bureau?
posted by Melismata at 1:52 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]




Beurredrillard® Brand Buttery Simulacrum
posted by jedicus at 2:16 PM on June 30, 2016 [7 favorites]


He Ain't Heavy, He's My Butter
posted by destructive cactus at 2:32 PM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


It Is Both Butter AND Not Butter (Until You Open The Box And Observe It)
smooth quantum superposition spread
posted by destructive cactus at 2:38 PM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


The Most Terrifying Fact About The Universe Is Not That It Is Hostile But That It Is Butter
posted by cortex at 2:39 PM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


The Most Merciful Thing In The World, I Think, Is The Inability Of The Human Mind To Determine Whether This Is Butter Or Not
posted by destructive cactus at 2:48 PM on June 30, 2016 [5 favorites]


I just have to drop in my dad's suggestion for a brand of tissues - "I can't believe it: snot!"
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 3:09 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Dairy farmers hate this mom's one weird butter.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 3:17 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


I Can't Believe Butter Isn't This
posted by aubilenon at 3:54 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


When I say I love it you say "not butter"
Not butter, not butter, it's not.
When I say I need it you say "not butter"
Not butter, not butter, it's not.
You better bet it's not
But you can spread it, spread it with a knife.
posted by drlith at 4:19 PM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


Butter, Actually
posted by cortex at 4:19 PM on June 30, 2016


Butter Off Dead
posted by BrashTech at 4:26 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


The Curious Case of Benjamin Butter
posted by cortex at 4:27 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Butter Red, Then Dead
posted by Splunge at 4:29 PM on June 30, 2016


Go Butter or Go Home
posted by Pocahontas at 4:33 PM on June 30, 2016


Ah, so we're back at it, hmmm?

Ahem.

Oldbutter
posted by Existential Dread at 4:49 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also, is this where we link to Big Butter Jesus, the 62 foot tall statue of Christ that was built from a giant metal superstructure surrounded by styrofoam and fiberglass and grounded to a large pond? And the glory of the fiery inferno that consumed His Butteriness following a lightning strike in 2010? Previously
posted by Existential Dread at 4:54 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Buttercop
posted by cortex at 4:58 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Butter.
posted by idiopath at 5:10 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Parkaaay.
posted by Flashman at 5:41 PM on June 30, 2016 [5 favorites]


Pubescent Butter of Silent War.
posted by pandalicious at 6:08 PM on June 30, 2016 [5 favorites]


I Can't Believe I'm Not Called Little Buttercup,
Not Dear Little Buttercup,
Though I Couldn't Ever Not Tell Why
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:55 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Bütterfreude!
posted by petebest at 7:31 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Surely You're Butter, Mr. Feynman
posted by cortex at 7:36 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Butter. It me.
posted by dayintoday at 7:51 PM on June 30, 2016


                       TRAVIS
Each night when I return the cab to the garage, I have to clean the margarine off the back seat. Some nights, I clean off the butter.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 7:53 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


And who could forget Pungent Stench's sophomore album, Been Caught I Can't Believe It's Not Buttering
posted by Existential Dread at 7:56 PM on June 30, 2016


Ever Tried. Ever Failed. No Matter. Try Again. Fail Again. Fail Butter.
posted by oulipian at 8:10 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Not Merely More Buttery Than You Suppose, But More Buttery Than You Can Suppose
posted by BungaDunga at 8:26 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


I've Got Butt But I'm Not A Butter
posted by cortex at 8:28 PM on June 30, 2016 [5 favorites]


Butter and Nothingness
posted by Rufous-headed Towhee heehee at 8:33 PM on June 30, 2016


Hey, butter! You were good.
posted by otters walk among us at 9:02 PM on June 30, 2016


You Might Think It's Butter, But I Couldn't Possibly Comment
posted by BungaDunga at 9:18 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


You butter watch out
You butter not cry
You butter not pout
I'm telling you why

Z͕̻̜̳̎͒͆ͦͤͫͦ͠Ạ̶͔̫͈̞̰̪̫̏ͫ͌ͮ̊͢L̪̹̟̥̅̉ͬ̔ͥ͆Ḡ̩̫̹͔̠̱̩̌̅̽̂͗Ò̹ͤ͘͢
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:37 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Well, you can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They taste as good as they look, and they come with this delicious yellow sauce--it looks like butter, it tastes like butter, but brother, it ain't butter!
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 9:37 PM on June 30, 2016


Guys, not only did I know about Ratatoing before, but I made a post that contained it, back when I went through my obsession with really really really really bad CG movies.
posted by JHarris at 9:47 PM on June 30, 2016


Ah, here we go. Heed that warning, the one about every link in the post killing you three times.
posted by JHarris at 9:49 PM on June 30, 2016


Jesus, talk about taking one for the team.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:53 PM on June 30, 2016


Prove It's Not Butter
posted by mazola at 10:17 PM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


Would That It Were Butter
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:50 PM on June 30, 2016 [7 favorites]


Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, let us review the evidence that This Is Not Butter
posted by GuyZero at 11:16 PM on June 30, 2016


If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Butter.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:21 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


O Butter, Where Art Thou?
posted by guy72277 at 2:03 AM on July 1, 2016 [5 favorites]


The Moral Equivalent of Butter
posted by ardgedee at 2:17 AM on July 1, 2016 [4 favorites]


You Know What? I'm Glad It's Not Butter. There, I Said It.
posted by aubilenon at 2:34 AM on July 1, 2016 [7 favorites]


"Butter"
posted by um at 3:47 AM on July 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


T.D. Strange: St. Louis has an entire local restaurant chain that's a rip off of Arby's

A little late to the party, but Lion's Choice is vastly superior to Arby's. The most notable difference being that the roast beef is roasted on premise and sliced freshly for your sandwich rather than being a pressed and pre-formed over-seasoned meat log. I wouldn't even put them in the same league.
posted by Jacob G at 5:20 AM on July 1, 2016


Butyraceous
posted by oulipian at 5:38 AM on July 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


It's Like Buttah.
posted by pianoblack at 7:05 AM on July 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


She Lies And Says She's In Love With Him, Can't Find A Butter Man
posted by cortex at 7:08 AM on July 1, 2016 [4 favorites]


¿Por Que?
posted by tilde


Eponysterical!!!!



I think the thing that upsets me more about butt-crack Jordan (I had to take a break from typing to laugh uproariously at the fact that that phrase has now entered my lexicon) is not the butt crack, per se, but his FEET. HIS FEET ARE HANDS, PEOPLE!!!!!
posted by chainsofreedom at 7:26 AM on July 1, 2016


Fuck Me That's Never Butter Is It?
posted by GallonOfAlan at 7:37 AM on July 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


The Answer Is None. None More Butter.
posted by cortex at 7:53 AM on July 1, 2016 [7 favorites]


Unbelievably, the Memories of Butter guy actually put out a whole album of slow jams in the 90s, Eusabio After Dark
posted by mubba at 8:55 AM on July 1, 2016


A far, far butter thing
posted by Going To Maine at 8:55 AM on July 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


Butter Than Ezra
posted by Existential Dread at 9:25 AM on July 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


Fans of this post should check out the Fake Toys Sporcle quiz - there's even some overlap.
posted by solotoro at 11:00 AM on July 1, 2016


Dude, I'm So Butter Right Now
posted by dephlogisticated at 12:43 PM on July 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


Build Me Up ButterYup
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:41 PM on July 1, 2016


I love that the number of comments in this thread has eclipsed the show-only thread for the finale of Game of Thrones.

Thats pretty butter.
posted by lkc at 2:17 PM on July 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


Butter Morghulis: All Men Must Churn
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:48 PM on July 1, 2016


Butter You Than Me
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:50 PM on July 1, 2016


Butter You, Then Me
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:50 PM on July 1, 2016 [4 favorites]


Butter for the Butter God!

and scones for his scone throne!
posted by Existential Dread at 2:55 PM on July 1, 2016 [3 favorites]


I have eaten
the margarine
that was in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
I thought it was butter
so sweet
and so cold
posted by Splunge at 3:48 PM on July 1, 2016 [2 favorites]


Butter. Dairy planet.
posted by vrakatar at 7:18 PM on July 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


What’s a butter for?
posted by Going To Maine at 8:17 PM on July 1, 2016


Butter, Don't Hurt Me. Don't Hurt Me, No More.
posted by Sprocket at 9:32 PM on July 1, 2016


I have not many fond ‘memories of butter,’ but – speaking as someone who works from time to time as a proofreader – that Msaeachubaets shirt made me laugh harder than I have in a long while. (I also like how its American flag has 11 stars and 17 stripes.)
posted by LeLiLo at 9:56 PM on July 1, 2016


Butter McButterface
posted by Rufous-headed Towhee heehee at 11:11 PM on July 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


If You Meet The Butter On The Road, Kill It
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:58 AM on July 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like Butter?
posted by ardgedee at 3:00 PM on July 2, 2016 [4 favorites]


Build Me Up ButterYup

I'm called little ButterYup, dear little ButterYup, though I could never tell why...
posted by Melismata at 7:23 PM on July 2, 2016


Butter My Ass And Call Me A Biscuit
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:11 PM on July 2, 2016


HURF DURF™ Spreadable Topping
posted by contraption at 11:02 AM on July 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


You Call That a Butter?
posted by sweetmarie at 12:28 PM on July 3, 2016


Are We Human, Or Is It Butter?
posted by BungaDunga at 4:18 PM on July 3, 2016


Oleo Cookies
posted by Kabanos at 8:47 PM on July 3, 2016


Possibly Butter, Probably Not
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:11 PM on July 3, 2016


The Platonic Ideal Of Butter Is A Shadow On The Side Of This Tub
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:13 PM on July 3, 2016 [2 favorites]


Vague Recollection of Butter
posted by Kabanos at 9:42 AM on July 4, 2016


Butter, You Say?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:27 PM on July 4, 2016


Butter? You Don't Say!
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:27 PM on July 4, 2016


It's Even Butter Than the Real Thing!
posted by drlith at 1:42 PM on July 4, 2016


I Can't Wrap My Head Around The Idea That Some People Can't Believe It's Not Butter
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:06 PM on July 4, 2016


It Was Butter Before Before We Voted For Whatshisname.
posted by gingerbeer at 3:57 PM on July 4, 2016


Can You Believe Our Weekly Ration Of Neo-Butter Has Increased To This Extra-Large Family Size?
posted by ardgedee at 4:42 PM on July 4, 2016 [1 favorite]


Betters Butter
posted by jamjam at 4:47 PM on July 4, 2016


We Can Neither Confirm Nor Deny That This Is Not Butter
posted by um at 7:50 PM on July 4, 2016 [1 favorite]


Butter Recriminations
posted by Flashman at 9:13 PM on July 4, 2016


You'll Never Meet Nobody What Doesn't Believe That This Ain't No Butter
posted by um at 9:18 PM on July 4, 2016 [1 favorite]


When You Have Eliminated The Impossible, Whatever Remains, However Improbable, Must Not Be Butter.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:08 AM on July 5, 2016 [7 favorites]


When I say I love you you say you butter
You butter you butter you bet
When I say I need you you say you butter
You butter you butter you bet
You butter bet your life
Or love will cut you like a knife
posted by jazon at 9:06 AM on July 5, 2016


Butter? Chuck Testa!
posted by ardgedee at 5:03 PM on July 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


It's Butter, eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge, wink wink, say no more, eh?
posted by BungaDunga at 5:57 PM on July 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


Butter Nine
posted by ardgedee at 3:44 AM on July 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Deen's Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced oleo is indistinguishable from butter.
posted by ardgedee at 5:52 AM on July 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


Deen's Second Law: The only way of discovering the limits of the oleo is to venture a little way past it.
posted by ardgedee at 5:54 AM on July 6, 2016


Deen's First Law: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is butter, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is not butter, he is very probably wrong.
posted by ardgedee at 5:56 AM on July 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


You're No Butter 'til Some Butter Loves You
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:56 AM on July 6, 2016 [3 favorites]


My sister and I always call Hello Kitty knockoffs "Greetings Feline." Really bad Hello Kitty knockoffs are called "Hey Cat."

I used to refer to any generic portable cassette player as a “Walkperson”.

I now recognise that the gender politics of this are problematic as hell.
posted by acb at 11:07 AM on July 6, 2016 [4 favorites]


DISRUPT BUTTER
posted by duffell at 11:20 AM on July 6, 2016




I'm Not Butter, My Name Is Oleo, Butter Left You Years Ago
posted by ardgedee at 3:22 AM on July 9, 2016


50 Ways to not be Butter
posted by duffell at 3:46 AM on July 9, 2016 [2 favorites]


Butter Lives On In Our Hearts
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:38 AM on July 9, 2016


If it be butter, 'tis not oleo; if it be not oleo, it will be butter; if it be not butter, yet it will be oleo - the spreadiness is all.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:52 AM on July 9, 2016 [1 favorite]


You butter believe it.
posted by adamrice at 2:46 PM on July 9, 2016


To better you, to better me
My butter half has bitten me
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:29 PM on July 9, 2016


He Butter Too Big For He Gotdamn Mouf
posted by infinitewindow at 7:01 PM on July 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


I can't believe this is still going.
posted by quaking fajita at 7:41 PM on July 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


You butter believe it, bud.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:52 PM on July 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


You butter believe it, bud.

You can do butter than that.
posted by duffell at 8:18 PM on July 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


But, er—
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:42 PM on July 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


Is This Butter?!? What Kind of Question is That?
posted by contraption at 5:05 PM on July 14, 2016


Touched by the butter angels of our nature.
posted by drlith at 6:13 PM on July 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


Butter Luck Next Time
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:23 PM on July 14, 2016


Butteros Butteros Gali
posted by cortex at 8:53 PM on July 14, 2016 [5 favorites]


U Thant Believes It's Not Butter
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:37 PM on July 14, 2016 [2 favorites]


Butter dead than red
posted by GuyZero at 11:22 PM on July 14, 2016


Butter or not, I'm walkin' on air
I never thought I could feel so free
Flyin' away on a wing and a prayer
Who could it be?
Butter or not it's just me
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 5:31 AM on July 15, 2016


I should've known butter--it's a cheat, my friend.
I wasted toast that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna spread again
The way I spread with you.
posted by drlith at 7:24 AM on July 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Come on, let’s toast again like we did with butter
posted by Going To Maine at 10:50 AM on July 15, 2016


♫I'll stop the world and melt with you
You've seen the difference and it's getting butter all the time
There's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you
Dream of butter lives the kind which never hate♫
posted by BungaDunga at 11:55 AM on July 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


If you believe this is butter, then I've got a bridge to sell you!
posted by blue_beetle at 1:17 PM on July 15, 2016


The Topping Formerly Known as Butter
posted by blue_beetle at 1:17 PM on July 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Beach Blanket Binghee," starring Butter Keaton
posted by adamrice at 2:40 PM on July 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Ersatz Brand Butter: The Real One™
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:43 PM on July 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Related to Kabanos' and thejcm's comments above, on Loblaws' official Youtube channel, one can find a video entitled "Memories of Dave Nichol," which, in the context of the "Memories of Butter" thing, seems a touch ghoulish (Nichols died in 2013 - is "Memories of Dave Nichol" a fragrance line or something?). Anyway, it contains some outtakes of some of the commercials he did - Nichols was also the original TV pitchman for the products marketed under the President's Choice label.

For those not hip to the riveting world of Canadian grocery retailing, some background:

Dave Nichol, the marketing genius who brought extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar to the Canadian mass market, died this week at age 73. The head of product development for Loblaw Companies for 22 years, until 1993, Nichol was an unlikely tastemaker to a nation: a middle-aged, Ivy League-educated businessman with a nasal Southern Ontario intonation. In today’s food-obsessed climate—24/7 Food Network, celebrity chefs, five-year-olds knowing what pesto is—it’s difficult to comprehend the extent to which Nichol was a trailblazer. Loblaw’s success spawned a private-label revolution.

Back on topic - the "Memories of Butter" thing is so weird because of the way it was previously used in that product line - as in "A place you may have visited or we supposedly visited for you, untravelled Southwestern Ontarian, so here is something that's supposed to evoke that place...."

So to me it reads as an ill portent of some butterless future world, a world which I will have no part of, please and thank you.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:49 AM on July 24, 2016 [1 favorite]


Butter Luck Next Thyme
posted by tilde at 7:48 PM on July 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


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