Independence Day Regurgitation
June 30, 2016 2:34 AM Subscribe
In which Comic Book Girl 19 tries to explain the plot.
If she left out all the profanity, that rant would have been about 10 seconds long.
posted by HuronBob at 4:48 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by HuronBob at 4:48 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
The biggest problem with modern blockbusters, explained by Independence Day: Resurgence
posted by octothorpe at 4:51 AM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 4:51 AM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
A further review by two hack frauds. FMC!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:07 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:07 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I wasn't planning on seeing this anytime soon, but I agree...This review intrigues me. I will go see this now despite all of the criticism. Because, hey there's a crazy Bill Pullman.
posted by Benway at 6:13 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Benway at 6:13 AM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I was surprised to see a semi-positive review from the movie reviewer at Locus.
An old friend who was in town for a week suggested we go see it and I honestly thought he was making a joke at first. (We went for a hike near the Cornell Lab or Ornithology instead, which was great, seeing herons, red-tail hawks, bullfrogs in among the flowering lily pads, and of course thousands of chipmunks).
I'm still pretty sure we made the right decision, particularly given my utter contempt for the original, and the ubiquitous cell phone texting / candy wrapper crinkling / soda slurping crowd making their annoying racket in multiplexes, but maybe not as much of a given as I thought.
posted by aught at 6:18 AM on June 30, 2016
An old friend who was in town for a week suggested we go see it and I honestly thought he was making a joke at first. (We went for a hike near the Cornell Lab or Ornithology instead, which was great, seeing herons, red-tail hawks, bullfrogs in among the flowering lily pads, and of course thousands of chipmunks).
I'm still pretty sure we made the right decision, particularly given my utter contempt for the original, and the ubiquitous cell phone texting / candy wrapper crinkling / soda slurping crowd making their annoying racket in multiplexes, but maybe not as much of a given as I thought.
posted by aught at 6:18 AM on June 30, 2016
Ooh, I forgot about RLM's review! Never thought that Mike would like this movie but he has a thing for schlock?
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:35 AM on June 30, 2016
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:35 AM on June 30, 2016
"It's up to Jeff Goldblum ...and Thor's brother."
See, that makes it sound kinda good. I mean, I'd totally see a movie starring Jeff Goldblum and Tom Hiddleston.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:36 AM on June 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
See, that makes it sound kinda good. I mean, I'd totally see a movie starring Jeff Goldblum and Tom Hiddleston.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:36 AM on June 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Although I did watch it on moving seats, which I didn't know was a thing, but I totally recommend it.
STRONGLY DISAGREE I missed the first 15 minutes or so of the new Star Wars because I was baked and wasn't sure if it was me or if my chair was moving and it was scary
posted by Hoopo at 8:36 AM on June 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
STRONGLY DISAGREE I missed the first 15 minutes or so of the new Star Wars because I was baked and wasn't sure if it was me or if my chair was moving and it was scary
posted by Hoopo at 8:36 AM on June 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
Die Hard has a plot! The first one is a well-written movie.
Independence Day: Resurgence is not so much a movie as it is the symptom of a sick system.
posted by vibrotronica at 8:40 AM on June 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
Independence Day: Resurgence is not so much a movie as it is the symptom of a sick system.
posted by vibrotronica at 8:40 AM on June 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
Did someone say Chef Goldblum and fancy movie seats?
SCHLAAANG!
posted by deadaluspark at 9:31 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
SCHLAAANG!
posted by deadaluspark at 9:31 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
*reconsiders just how much cussing he does daily*
posted by humboldt32 at 9:36 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by humboldt32 at 9:36 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also, in respect to movies being total messes, as someone with an english degree, I'm floored/disappointed when I talk to people who are going to school at places like Digipen and other game design schools.
I'm disappointed because they teach the absolutely opposite of good writing. They teach that you should create the most everyman characters, without any real depth, because you want your game to be "successful" and successful is defined by how many units it sells. And apprently how many units it sells is directly tied to how everyman and boring your main character is.
It's just sad because it is the polar opposite of what any literature/writing course would have taught you at a regular college. Hell, even community colleges have better creative writing courses that don't teach that kind of nonsense.
I've just stopped even having conversations with these people, because they've drank the Kool-Aid and it's like talking to a wall.
I highly suspect Hollywood presses writers in the same way, and it is sick and produces nothing but fumbling garbage.
posted by deadaluspark at 9:36 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I'm disappointed because they teach the absolutely opposite of good writing. They teach that you should create the most everyman characters, without any real depth, because you want your game to be "successful" and successful is defined by how many units it sells. And apprently how many units it sells is directly tied to how everyman and boring your main character is.
It's just sad because it is the polar opposite of what any literature/writing course would have taught you at a regular college. Hell, even community colleges have better creative writing courses that don't teach that kind of nonsense.
I've just stopped even having conversations with these people, because they've drank the Kool-Aid and it's like talking to a wall.
I highly suspect Hollywood presses writers in the same way, and it is sick and produces nothing but fumbling garbage.
posted by deadaluspark at 9:36 AM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I really enjoyed the first movie because it was so stupid and explosion-y and the R.E.M. song, and Will Smith had funny lines and Data got strangled and so on. And although I was no kind of tech person, the idea that some Earth dude could write a virus on his primitive Mac and infect the alien ships (ALL of them) was patently not a thing that could happen. But who cared, let's cheer for blowing up giant-ass ships and making speeches and fuck yeah.
My mistake was in deciding to go see it a second time. It was not a movie that bears repeated viewing.
I dare not see the sequel.
posted by emjaybee at 10:27 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
My mistake was in deciding to go see it a second time. It was not a movie that bears repeated viewing.
I dare not see the sequel.
posted by emjaybee at 10:27 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Die Hard has a plot! The first one is a well-written movie.
I would totally go to bat for Die Hard, but I think that was a reference to a later franchise entry.
posted by Artw at 10:41 AM on June 30, 2016
I would totally go to bat for Die Hard, but I think that was a reference to a later franchise entry.
posted by Artw at 10:41 AM on June 30, 2016
Well, we're talking about a guy whose previous credits include:
* ancient alien astronauts
* unwatchable military Godzilla
* a Mel Gibson historical drama
* the Art Bell/Whitley Streiber movie
* not Quest for Fire
* Mayan neutrino prophesy
* Oxfordian incest shipping
* cis- and whitewashed Stonewall
Does anyone really expect it to make much sense?
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 11:14 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
* ancient alien astronauts
* unwatchable military Godzilla
* a Mel Gibson historical drama
* the Art Bell/Whitley Streiber movie
* not Quest for Fire
* Mayan neutrino prophesy
* Oxfordian incest shipping
* cis- and whitewashed Stonewall
Does anyone really expect it to make much sense?
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 11:14 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I.D. 1 hit all the right buttons. It even had the redemption of the crazy Vietnam Veteran. It was revenge porn for the whole family....they go places and kill people because, well, just because. Independence Day, indeed. I felt uncomfortable after noticing how seductive it was. Maybe I was just being cynical. Us and them, you know, so lets just get to the guns.
I.D. 2 can't have less merit than the other one. I guess the big difference (per the reviewer) is that we get to go there and kill all of them.
I found the first movie disturbing on some visceral level. It appealed to the lizard in me, sent a tingle from my nether regions directly to my trigger finger. The second one bestirs itself a bit closer to the surface, but it's still linked to my trigger finger. I no longer think I'm being cynical, just a bit sensitive to the several flavors of mongering going on in this series.
Yeah, yea CGI, but I think I'll sit this one out.
posted by mule98J at 11:46 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I.D. 2 can't have less merit than the other one. I guess the big difference (per the reviewer) is that we get to go there and kill all of them.
I found the first movie disturbing on some visceral level. It appealed to the lizard in me, sent a tingle from my nether regions directly to my trigger finger. The second one bestirs itself a bit closer to the surface, but it's still linked to my trigger finger. I no longer think I'm being cynical, just a bit sensitive to the several flavors of mongering going on in this series.
Yeah, yea CGI, but I think I'll sit this one out.
posted by mule98J at 11:46 AM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Observers of bad movies may wish to note that there's a 0%er coming down the line, with a screenplay by Stephen King, no less.
posted by Artw at 11:51 AM on June 30, 2016
posted by Artw at 11:51 AM on June 30, 2016
She also talks about Will Smith and The Wild Wild West, and let me just say that although the movie was awful, the show that the movie was based on was wonderful, having the best genius scientist bad guy I've seen in any show or movie since.
Also, the movie completely ruined the friendship/partnership of Artemis Gordon/James West, which was the key to the original series. They could have really made something interesting in having an African American being the lead investigator in an asignment in the deep south. Instead they made him the minor partner, and the non-stop 'punching down' victim of pranks. I loved the original series so I was crushed by the mess of a movie they made of it.
posted by eye of newt at 1:46 PM on June 30, 2016
Also, the movie completely ruined the friendship/partnership of Artemis Gordon/James West, which was the key to the original series. They could have really made something interesting in having an African American being the lead investigator in an asignment in the deep south. Instead they made him the minor partner, and the non-stop 'punching down' victim of pranks. I loved the original series so I was crushed by the mess of a movie they made of it.
posted by eye of newt at 1:46 PM on June 30, 2016
If she left out all the profanity, that rant would have been about 10 seconds long.
Yeah, it got really tiresome, really fast.
If she also left out all the times she said "like," the rant would be into negative time.
posted by bcarter3 at 9:41 PM on July 3, 2016
Yeah, it got really tiresome, really fast.
If she also left out all the times she said "like," the rant would be into negative time.
posted by bcarter3 at 9:41 PM on July 3, 2016
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posted by wyndham at 4:44 AM on June 30, 2016