Meerkats can control electronics with their minds.
June 30, 2016 2:29 PM   Subscribe


 
Those are not "Fake Animal Facts!" Those are Animal Lies!

Now the guy who did this will be eaten by a lie-on. And he deserves it.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:35 PM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


Those are Animal Lies!

Shut up, Phillip. We all know it's you.
posted by The Bellman at 2:38 PM on June 30, 2016 [8 favorites]


Wait... if all flamingos but Phillip are monogamous, who does Phillip cheat with? I think the flamingo community is in deep denial....

Also, all that hanging out on lawns can't be healthy.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:42 PM on June 30, 2016 [7 favorites]


This is actually true, I know from watching my cats.
posted by happyroach at 3:02 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Wait... if all flamingos but Phillip are monogamous, who does Phillip cheat with?

Let's just say that Phillip is not as narrow-minded as you.
posted by The Bellman at 3:20 PM on June 30, 2016 [15 favorites]


Wait... if all flamingos but Phillip are monogamous, who does Phillip cheat with?

Garden Gnomes
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:22 PM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


Wait... if all flamingos but Phillip are monogamous, who does Phillip cheat with?

Dolphins of course.
posted by Fizz at 3:29 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Wait... if all flamingos but Phillip are monogamous, who does Phillip cheat with?

It's meerkats all the way down. So to speak.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:35 PM on June 30, 2016 [9 favorites]


I wish they were (A) funnier and (B) less obviously fake.

Culture jamming ain't what it used to be.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 4:10 PM on June 30, 2016 [4 favorites]


"(B)" -- so much, so much, but (and assimilate and dread this) imagine in just a few years needing to attend a meeting with your child's third grade teacher, the principle, the district mediator, to explain that your third grader is factually correct and the textbook with the picture from a certain famous zoo was a joke and your third grader is actually smarter than all three of the "adults" and should not fail science unit for being "scientifically accurate".
posted by sammyo at 4:51 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Related
posted by baf at 4:59 PM on June 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


I was helping in the computer lab for a third grade class. They were learning on computers, reading about topics using the web. They kept seeing things like, "You just won! Click here!" and of course would click. I decided to teach them that not everything they read on the web should automatically be believed.

They had just had a unit on bats. I created a web page that said:

Bats are blind flying rats with wings. The biggest bat is the Giant Roc Bat, with a wingspan of 44 feet, which has been known to catch a small elephant in each claw and carry them off. The smallest bat is the Pipsqueak Bat, which requires a microscope to see.

There are nine kinds of bats. Besides the Giant Roc Bat and the Pipsqueak Bat, there is the Wom Bat, the Corked Bat, the Kriket Bat, the Eyelash Bat, the Mattress Bat, the Squash Bat, the Acro Bat, and the Com Bat.

When a bat is going to have babies, it lines its nest with feathers from its wings. Then it lays between 2 and 20 eggs. When the eggs hatch, a baby bat is born. Since a baby bat doesn't have wings for a while, it crawls on the ground and you can't tell the difference between a baby bat and a baby rat.

All bats drink blood. If no blood is available, they eat cake.

Bats are blind. Bats sometimes land on the backs of wild dogs and ride them around. These dogs guide the bats to where they want to go, so are seeing eye wild dogs. Sometimes bats grabs sticks with their claws to tap on the ground. The sound from the tap let's them know where things are. This is known as echolocation. If they accidentally run into a power line, this is known as echotrocution.


They were reading along nodding their heads until one of the students said, "Wait! That can't be right." Then they found all the things that were wrong.
posted by Xoc at 5:11 PM on June 30, 2016 [20 favorites]


Well, what are they?
posted by The Gaffer at 6:59 PM on June 30, 2016 [3 favorites]


I love Obvious Plant ever since you turned me on to it, thank you JW!

Any time I need a laugh I go relive his fake pet descriptions left at the pet store. They're a thing of beauty.
posted by bologna on wry at 7:40 PM on June 30, 2016 [6 favorites]


Joseph Gurl: Culture jamming ain't what it used to be.

In my eyes, culture jamming is the act of underground resistance fighters who are battling against the sea of advertisements in public spaces, but this is more in the lines of the Cacophony Society, who are pulling silly pranks in the name of making things more weird for the simple sake of weirdness. Sure, there's some culture jamming, like their celebration of the Billboard Liberation Front, but then there's the old SantaCons of the late 1990s, before they became a terrible brofest.

But that's just my take on all this. Up with goofy pranks, I say.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:16 PM on June 30, 2016 [7 favorites]


Bats are blind flying rats with wings.

... Then what are pigeons?
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:49 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


I imagine them read by Ze Frank. That makes them much funnier.
Because that is how flamingos do.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:51 PM on June 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


Wait... if all flamingos but Phillip are monogamous, who does Phillip cheat with?
The barber?
posted by Nerd of the North at 12:18 AM on July 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


Culture jamming ain't what it used to be.

Now that's my kind of crotchety!
posted by latkes at 7:56 AM on July 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


filthy light thief - semantics, and weirdness, and brofests o my
posted by Joseph Gurl at 3:58 PM on July 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


GeorgeTakeiOhMy.ipg

(My favorite part about this "file name as a place holder or reference for a response image" is that there are so many options for ways to read it, given the range of reaction image options.)
posted by filthy light thief at 7:15 PM on July 1, 2016


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