Rogue One Official Trailer

August 11, 2016 8:56 PM

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Trailer (Official) [SLYT]
posted by kirkaracha (222 comments total)

VADER BREATH
posted by dry white toast at 8:58 PM on August 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm a little concerned that these trailers aren't showing anything about the Bothan spies I was led to believe were key to this whole operation.

I'm not kidding.
posted by padraigin at 9:01 PM on August 11, 2016 [23 favorites]

Looks better than the last one too. This could really go somewhere. They've got a mythos that a very large proportion of human beings have familiarity with. It allows for easier writing--backstory already exists. You don't have to waste time on explication. We know the story. Smart play would be to have very good dialogue writing and good actors. They could get quite a few good ones in before it goes stale if they avoid the temptation of all-action films.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:06 PM on August 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

You wouldn't see spies, if they're doing a good job spying.
posted by rp at 9:07 PM on August 11, 2016 [11 favorites]

I'm a little concerned that these trailers aren't showing anything about the Bothan spies I was led to believe were key to this whole operation.

I'm not kidding.

That was a cover story.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:08 PM on August 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm a little concerned that these trailers aren't showing anything about the Bothan spies I was led to believe were key to this whole operation.


The Bothan spies were key in blowing up the second Death Star. This is the first.
posted by nubs at 9:08 PM on August 11, 2016 [62 favorites]

That was Jedi, not Star Wars.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:08 PM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Jinx
posted by middleclasstool at 9:09 PM on August 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

The Bothans will be in Rogue Two, keep these things straight.
posted by RobotHero at 9:09 PM on August 11, 2016 [9 favorites]

Okay, then we're cool.
posted by padraigin at 9:10 PM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Okay, then we're cool.

I'll tell Jabba everything is ok.
posted by nubs at 9:10 PM on August 11, 2016 [8 favorites]

Anyways, to comment on the trailer, this looks good. A couple of things:

-I kinda both like and dislike the Imperial Walker head flinch after the missile strike; it both looks like a natural reaction of a living thing and also reminds me that it isn't a living thing that would act like that.

-not sure how wild I am about the presence of Darth; one of the things I'm interested in/intrigued by is the absence of the old familiar characters from the story - no Skywalkers, no Han, different droids, etc. I hope he's not a major part of things.
posted by nubs at 9:16 PM on August 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

What's the word for the seemingly awesome person you want to love who comes after the person who taught you to love again after the person who broke your heart?

That's my reaction to this trailer.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:26 PM on August 11, 2016 [26 favorites]

Wifey
posted by chrchr at 9:27 PM on August 11, 2016 [7 favorites]

Seems like an allegory of the Iraq War.
posted by My Dad at 9:33 PM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Soooooooooo hype. I mean, TFA was great and reminded me that Star Wars movies could be good again, but it didn't feel like _my_ Star Wars, even with all the callbacks to A New Hope. This, though? This is sort of the stuff I wanted from the prequels. Not, y'know, the Story of Anakin Who Doesn't Like Sand.
posted by Kyol at 9:36 PM on August 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

Does this take place before a New Hope or between NH and Empire?
posted by vrakatar at 9:36 PM on August 11, 2016

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
posted by entropicamericana at 9:38 PM on August 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

posted by nubs

First name yub?
posted by tclark at 9:39 PM on August 11, 2016 [20 favorites]

Does this take place before a New Hope or between NH and Empire?

Before a New Hope; it's the story of how the plans for the first Death Star got stolen. So it's a heist film.

First name yub?

eee chop yub nub
posted by nubs at 9:42 PM on August 11, 2016 [19 favorites]

one of the things I'm interested in/intrigued by is the absence of the old familiar characters from the story - no Skywalkers, no Han, different droids, etc.

Same here. And 4 of 8 Star Wars movies revolve around Death Stars. I was hoping that these Star Wars Stories would branch out a bit and tell some stories from the rest of the universe that isn't directly connected to the Skywalkers.
posted by good in a vacuum at 9:44 PM on August 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

I watch these trailers closely hoping for a 'Consider Phelbas' reference.
posted by temancl at 9:44 PM on August 11, 2016 [8 favorites]

I love all the accents! This is the first time in Star Wars we hear people speaking Basic using accents other than American, British, or mid-Atlantic.
posted by chrchr at 9:45 PM on August 11, 2016 [6 favorites]

The folks making the movie said that Vader is not going to have a lot of screen time but he will loom large over the film. Speculation is that we're going to get a taste of just why he's so feared by everyone.

I've been geeked for this film ever since I heard about it.
posted by azpenguin at 9:50 PM on August 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

That was a cover story.

History will remember this thread as the founding moment of Bothan Trutherism.
posted by mhoye at 9:51 PM on August 11, 2016 [34 favorites]

I watch these trailers closely hoping for a 'Consider Phelbas' reference.

For what it's worth, almost everyone in them is handsome and as tall or taller than me.
posted by mhoye at 9:53 PM on August 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

I dunno, man. I can't think of it as a good sign that Tony Gilroy appears to have taken the movie over from Gareth Edwards partway through production and post. I mean, Gilroy is probably a better director than Edwards, and he may have better story sense, too, so I suppose it could be a net positive. But I was really hoping that these "standalone" movies would be allowed to have more discernible style characteristics (owing to having hired directors with strong authorial voices) rather than see the personality flattened out of them. If they wanted a Tony Gilroy film, they could have hired Tony Gilroy in the first place and I would have been like, huzzah!

Anyway, I hope it's awesome and I will be there on opening night but I, too, am kind of bummed that Darth Vader is in it. Fan service is a bitch.
posted by Mothlight at 9:59 PM on August 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

The Bonthans stole the original Death Star plans, they were just so good at being spies that no one noticed. By the time they were asked to steal the second set of plans, they'd all gotten cocky and were killed in various showboating scenarios.

☆☆☆ THE MORE YOU KNOW...
posted by blue_beetle at 10:01 PM on August 11, 2016 [6 favorites]

-I kinda both like and dislike the Imperial Walker head flinch after the missile strike; it both looks like a natural reaction of a living thing and also reminds me that it isn't a living thing that would act like that.

If you think of it as being knocked to the side by the blast rather than a flinch, it looks pretty plausible as something that might happen if a head-bridge swingin' around on a skinny-ass jointed neck took a missile to one eye.
posted by No-sword at 10:02 PM on August 11, 2016 [7 favorites]

Or is the missile hit and tossed the person holding the controls.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 10:04 PM on August 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

Stop_playing_games_withmyheart.mp3

(Considering the timeline I kinda want like, nearly EVERYONE to die like, yeah wow this was a bad risky plot and none of them got out)
posted by The Whelk at 10:05 PM on August 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

My pet theory about TFA is we haven't met Rey's parents yet (but maybe we'll meet her parents/grandparents in a prequel/spinoff movie).
posted by The Hamms Bear at 10:13 PM on August 11, 2016

I heard George Lucas is already working on a fan edit of Rogue One where he replaces all of Darth Vader's speaking lines with Hayden Christiansen's voice

See? You can't tell if I'm joking or not. Can you.
posted by caution live frogs at 10:18 PM on August 11, 2016 [42 favorites]

You wouldn't see spies, if they're doing a good job spying.

They did a barely passable job.

If they did a good job, maybe they wouldn't all be dead.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:24 PM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

I am into this.
posted by Artw at 10:34 PM on August 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

I love all the accents! This is the first time in Star Wars we hear people speaking Basic using accents other than American, British, or mid-Atlantic.

The "I have the death sentence in twelve systems!" guy was at least Canadian or something, wasn't he? Oops, nope, he was British. (behind the scenes)
posted by XMLicious at 10:53 PM on August 11, 2016

I am posting solely to register my enthusiasm for TUDYKBOTDROID.

That is all.

CARRY ON
posted by Merzbau at 10:58 PM on August 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

What We Learned From the New Star Wars: Rogue One Trailer
posted by kirkaracha at 11:07 PM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

I want a Bioware Star Wars film. With Darth Traya. No, really. KOTOR and KOTOR2 (with the restoration packs) are the best things to come out of the Star Wars universe.

Darth Traya is what the Sith should be like, not the cartoonish evil we generally get.
posted by Justinian at 11:11 PM on August 11, 2016 [8 favorites]

ok so wtf order am i supposed to watch star wars movies in now?

?!
posted by mazola at 11:12 PM on August 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

Does anyone suspect that they're taking some story points from Dark Forces?
posted by gucci mane at 11:14 PM on August 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

Bothan spies died so wing commander could be born.
posted by parmanparman at 11:16 PM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Now writing fanfiction in my head about the poor software engineer at [pauses to google "what company manufactured c3po"] Cybot Galactica who championed the "this endeavor has an x% chance of failure" feature. I'm picturing this guy writing the proposal and design doc, getting buy-in from product and marketing, recruiting a whole team of statisticians to implement it, and then...lo and behold, it becomes this sad clippy-style punchline.

He's like, welp, at least I got that promotion I was gunning for, can't all be winners. I'll blow my launch bonus on a ski trip to Alderaan, I guess.
posted by the marble index at 11:35 PM on August 11, 2016 [41 favorites]

ok so wtf order am i supposed to watch star wars movies in now?

Order of release, just like always.
posted by The Tensor at 11:47 PM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

To be clear, that's:

1. Star Wars
2. The Holiday Special
3. The Empire Strikes Back
4. Return of the Jedi
5. The Ewok Adventure
6. Ewoks: The Battle for Endor
7. The Phantom Menace
8. Attack of the Clones
9. Tartakovsky's Clone Wars
10. Revenge of the Sith
11. The 2008 The Clone Wars movie
12. The Force Awakens
13. Rogue One

posted by The Tensor at 11:51 PM on August 11, 2016 [21 favorites]

ok so wtf order am i supposed to watch star wars movies in now?

New Hope, Empire and Jedi, then Force Awakens if you're into that. Most of the other stuff is really only necessary if you're a completist, or a masochist.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 12:38 AM on August 12, 2016 [6 favorites]

Not a Star Wars fan, but I was pleasantly surprised by Donnie Yen, who is a huge star in Asia, and so having enjoyed his acting and fighting in the Ip Man movies, Rogue One is suddenly way more appealing.
posted by polymodus at 1:20 AM on August 12, 2016 [7 favorites]

The poor critical reception and studio directed reshoots of Suicide Squad didn't seem to slow it's box office success, so I imagine the rumored last minute reshoots of 40% of Rogue One have just become that much less worrying to it's producers.
posted by fairmettle at 1:25 AM on August 12, 2016

Oh god I promised myself I'd stop watching trailers that might spoil the films I'm aching to see. Must. Not. NOOOOOOO
posted by Auden at 1:31 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

I think you mean: Nooooooooooooooo.
posted by Pendragon at 1:37 AM on August 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

I think I mean: "Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet." (does that mean I choose incontinence though)
posted by Auden at 2:00 AM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

I think I'd like to see this movie.
posted by straight at 2:04 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

I got shivers from that star destroyer emerging from the shadows. And then you see what's casting those shadows...

I don't care for Star Wars, I don't care about Star Wars, it just seems to have subverted some sacred part of my mind that should be full of legends and myths. Where once people had a enduring cultural memory of the endless stories of gods and spirits, I instead find X-Wings and lightsabers and orchestral variations that I somehow know note for note...
posted by Eleven at 2:09 AM on August 12, 2016 [10 favorites]

What's with the pop-out dish on the Death Star? Is this like that silly beak Lucas stuck on the sarlacc in VI?
posted by Autumn Leaf at 2:11 AM on August 12, 2016

It's in the process of being mounted, I think.
posted by Harald74 at 2:16 AM on August 12, 2016 [6 favorites]

Autumn Leaf: "What's with the pop-out dish on the Death Star?"

They didn't have cable. Needed better reception to watch the Olympics.
posted by chavenet at 2:17 AM on August 12, 2016 [10 favorites]

The "I have the death sentence in twelve systems!" guy as at least Canadian

And suddenly the deleted scene where that guy pokes Luke in the chest and says "smokes, let's go, gimme some smokes" makes total sense.
posted by Sauce Trough at 2:30 AM on August 12, 2016 [11 favorites]

What's with the pop-out dish on the Death Star?
That's not a dish, it's the saucer section. Rogue One is actually a stealth TNG reboot starting from Encounter At Farpoint. I'm pretty jazzed at Alan Tudyk's take on Mr Data.
posted by comealongpole at 2:49 AM on August 12, 2016 [11 favorites]

My only concern is that I still can't tell which one is supposed to be Lee Marvin.
posted by rodlymight at 3:15 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

I don't see why there had to be such a big fuss about Darth Vader if they could have just had Donnie Yen kick his ass.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 4:14 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think I mean: "Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet." (does that mean I choose incontinence though)

Yes. Inchastity and incontinence. You'd basically end up spending your whole life washing sheets.
posted by Grangousier at 4:37 AM on August 12, 2016 [17 favorites]

Wow. Color me excited! Just got back in from watching the Pleiades after a hellish work month. Didn't even know that the trailer was released until a fellow meteor-shower-watcher told me it was out, and as soon as we bid adieu to the rest of the crew, we head upstairs to watch the trailer on a big TV. It was worth it.

I've been relatively caught up with most things Star Wars, and over the past year have watched the original trilogy as well as Harmy's Despecialized Edition. If you haven't seen or heard of it, be sure to check out his YouTube channel!

What immediately caught my eye with this trailer is the overall look and feel of the universe. No more sterile environments and cities: the opening shot of the city isn't pure and gleaming in a crystal-clear night. The second thing I noticed immediately is the variety of voices and accents that don't sound like racist caricatures of real-world ethnicities.

Here are some observations from the trailer (WARNING: possible spoilers!):

0:01-0:04 - as mentioned, a nicely rendered, hot, grimy city of the Empire.
0:07 - Forest Fucking Whitaker! As Saw Gerrera, a nice tie-in to the Clone Wars. He looks grizzled, experienced, and totally badass in a I've-Seen-So-Much-Shit-And-I'm-Alive-Cuz-I'm-A-Badass way.
0:22 - Mon Mothma (Genevieve O'Reilly)! Who looks just like and is as regal as Caroline Blakiston, who plays Mon Mothma in the original trilogy!
0:26-0:31 I love how white and clean the Star Destroyer looks. It's as it if should look like a poorly lit and shot miniature effect, but there's so much detail it just boggles the mind.
(And here I keep looking for dark/light imagery that's omnipresent in The Force Awakens. Ham-fisted in execution at times, I know, but hey, it's fun to pick apart trailers! Is this particular Star Destroyer special in a way apart from it carrying VIPs of the Empire? Does someone on it serve the Rebel Alliance in some capacity? Or is it just newly off-the-lot with Monroney Stickers affixed to the bridge windows?)
0:36-0:37 🤘-wing fighter. Rockin!
0:47-0:50 "You destroyed our home!" Baze Malbus fucking doods up. Donnie Yen's character (Chirrut Imwe) looks like he's injured and limping in the background. Haha, no: he's just tired from kicking ass for the entire movie: "Yoh, Baze. It's been a long day and I'm kinda wrecked after punching a bunch of these clowns and kicking a TIE fighter into the upper atmosphere. Mind just shootin' the rest?"
0:54-0:59 Donnie motherfucking Yen! Good with a staff, better with punching! He's totally badass in a I-Haven't-Seen-Much-Shit-And-I'm-Alive-Cuz-I'm-A-Badass way. His face is covered with soot, indicating he's recently caused some massive damage. There's a crashed X-wing fighter in the background. Muy interesante.
0:59-1:05 Alan Tudyk as K-2SO! Comic relief! And I'm glad this droid's voice has some personality.
1:08-1:10 Interesting to see the Death Star oriented "upside-down." And crazy to see how small it is compared to the planet, considering its superlaser blows up whole planets. And again, dark/light imagery? Nah. Just looks totally cool. A solar eclipse. From a Death Star.
1:12 - I can't believe how evil Ben Mendelsohn looks. And again, despite the fact that he's wearing a pristine, white uniform, with a pristine rank insignia badge, the way things are lit/shot makes it look less super-clean sci-fi-ish compared to the original trilogy, when the rank badges kinda looked goofy and cheap. Here they communicate badass-ness: "How badass am I? I am 12 badass. Also, I have two pockets for space pens."
1:16-1:18 🤘-wing fighter again! Wait. It's a troop transport? It's a bit weird: the soldiers look like they're jumping out the side of the center hull. Going back to the earlier appearance of this ship, it does look like there's a hatch on the side.
1:18-1:19 Rebels are under fire, but that's a lot of dead Stormtroopers in the water.
1:21 - Oh man, 🤘-wing fighter is deadrestated. Doesn't appear to be the same one that dropped off the two soldiers at 1:16-- different trees/no clearing. I can't tell who or what faction the fellow running from left to right is: he's hooded and carries a rifle that the other rebels aren't seen carrying. Local ally? Seems to be under fire from Empire blasters.
1:21-1:22 - Empire tank and troops shoot at target of importance. They've learned from the future and engage at point-blank range to avoid misses. Donnie Yen punches tank and it blows up. The tower behind the Jyn Erso and Captain Andor denotes the location. You can see fragments of the three orange pod things that are on the back half of the tank in the explosion.
1:25 - Baze Malbus is carrying something on his back. That something is seen on the ground at 0:48.
1:26 - Oooh, Shadow Stormtroopers maybe? Donnie Yen punches an Empire transport. It blows up.
1:27 - Rebel soldier here. Not quite sure what blows up, but I'm pretty sure Donnie Yen punched it. Looks big enough to be an Empire transport, though. Same one? Why's the soldier so close to it?
1:29-1:33 X-wings in atmospheric flight, in the rain! So awesome! With locked S-foils in attack position! SNEAK ATTACK! And there's a rebel soldier silhouetted in the foreground.
1:35 nubs made a comment on the AT-AT's head flinching up. But if you look closely, there's a red light to the right of where the rocket is heading. That's Donnie Yen (see 0:48), punching the AT-AT in the head. Hence the whiplash. And the explosion.
1:38 FOREST. WHITAKER. <3
1:38-1:41 Yup, that's a 🤘-wing fighter flying under all that falling stuff, and Jyn Erso inside. It does indeed look like a transport vessel. And it looks like they make a jump to hyperspace through all the falling debris!
1:42 Donnie Yen again demonstrating his might.
1:46 Donnie Yen gently kicks a TIE fighter into the upper atmosphere such that it doesn't blow up. This is why he's limping at 0:47. He stubs his toe, being a puncher, not a kicker.
1:48 Looks like the inside of the 🤘-wing fighter, with Jyn Erso in front of the loading ramp/front of the ship.
1:49 Interesting: Baze Malbus and Chirrut Imwe (Donnie Yen) are looking to the left, and Baze almost does a double-take, where everyone else is looking straight ahead. I take that back. Soldier to the left of Baze looks first. Looks like the droid K-2SO might've said something funny or amusing, hence the smirk from Baze. Donnie Yen getting up, contemplating whether or not to punch the droid.
1:56 Darth Vader! Looks a little hunched over. Probably hit on the helmet by Donnie Yen at some point.
1:57-1:59 They misspelled "Donnie Yen."


So all in all, I thoroughly enjoyed this trailer and really look forward to the movie! Please note: I don't think I really spoiled anything above, but you can use some of the phrases a launching pads for crazy possible spoilers/theories. Like the orange pods, or Baze's backpack thing, etc. I suppose you could search for anything and find a whole bunch of info. Except for Donnie Yen's Force Punches. You read it here first, internet!
posted by herrdoktor at 5:17 AM on August 12, 2016 [22 favorites]

The "I have the death sentence in twelve systems!" guy as at least Canadian

And suddenly the deleted scene where that guy pokes Luke in the chest and says "smokes, let's go, gimme some smokes" makes total sense.

Turn to the Dark Side, you knob.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:19 AM on August 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

I love all the accents! This is the first time in Star Wars we hear people speaking Basic using accents other than American, British, or mid-Atlantic.

Jango Fett has a Kiwi accent...
posted by awfurby at 5:23 AM on August 12, 2016 [3 favorites]

wtf order am i supposed to watch star wars movies in now?

Machete Yeti.
posted by rokusan at 5:23 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

Jango Fett has a Kiwi accent.

As do, naturally, all the clonetroopers and even (as of the 2004 rerererelease) Boba Fett. All Temuera Morrison.
posted by rokusan at 5:30 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

Also, whatever accent the Trade Federation people have.

And Jar Jar.
posted by biffa at 5:41 AM on August 12, 2016

0:22 - Mon Mothma (Genevieve O'Reilly)! Who looks just like and is as regal as Caroline Blakiston, who plays Mon Mothma in the original trilogy!

She also played the role in Revenge of the Sith before the Congress member/Rebellion plotline was cut.
posted by dances with hamsters at 5:46 AM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

History will remember this thread as the founding moment of Bothan Trutherism.

BORSK FEY'LYA FOUNDED ISIS
posted by garius at 5:49 AM on August 12, 2016 [11 favorites]

*nerdgasm*
posted by lalochezia at 5:50 AM on August 12, 2016

Using a man-portable anti-tank missile against an Imperial Walker is much too logical for a Star Wars movie. Now the Battle of Hoth just looks silly.
posted by AndrewInDC at 5:50 AM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

To be fair, we don't know if it works yet.
posted by thecaddy at 5:51 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

Does the stick wielding jedi guy seem sort of like a zatoichi figure to anyone else?
posted by Kikujiro's Summer at 5:56 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

"Our anti-tank missiles are useless! Does anyone have two logs that can be made to bang together?"
posted by No-sword at 5:56 AM on August 12, 2016 [28 favorites]

You wouldn't see spies, if they're doing a good job spying.

They did a barely passable job.

If they did a good job, maybe they wouldn't all be dead.


I seem to recall reading or hearing somewhere that Bothans are incapable of lying, which makes their achievement in getting information to the Rebellion about DS2 both more impressive and more implausible.
posted by nubs at 5:56 AM on August 12, 2016

Everyone... The rebellion used bothan corpses a way of secure message transmission.
posted by drezdn at 6:02 AM on August 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

Loved the trailer. I'm hoping someone from Rebels shows up.
posted by drezdn at 6:03 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

In their electronic subterfuge, the rebel spies inadvertently blocked the Bothans' live stream of the GalactiCup Finals, and the Bothans couldn't even.
posted by AndrewInDC at 6:05 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

It was basically rfc 1149, but using dead Bothans.
posted by jenkinsEar at 6:05 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

Bothans are quantum entangled in pairs. You keep one and send the other one to get the secret information. That one then instantaneously flips his brain's quantum state into the other one across light years of space, meaning the one you've got now knows everything the other one knew. Of course the sender dies.

The receiver can usually maintain coherence long enough to tell you what you need to know. And then dies.

Bothans die a lot. It's pretty much their answer to everything.
posted by Naberius at 6:20 AM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

(Considering the timeline I kinda want like, nearly EVERYONE to die like, yeah wow this was a bad risky plot and none of them got out)

I want the end of Rogue One to be what's left of the crew boarding a Corellian Corvette enroute to pickup Senator Princess Leia as their cover to run past an Imperial blockade as they try to make their way back to Alderaan.
posted by bl1nk at 6:23 AM on August 12, 2016 [6 favorites]

Donnie Yen as a Jedi? Fine, I'm in.
posted by From Bklyn at 6:27 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

(Is there any way we can get a Fanfare thread for "Aftermath: Life Debt" out of this?")
posted by drezdn at 6:35 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

But the Clonetroopers in the Clone Wars TV series have a stupid American-doing-Aussie accent. I guess they were a bad batch that got shipped anyway.
posted by WhackyparseThis at 6:35 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

This is the first time in Star Wars we hear people speaking Basic using accents other than American, British, or mid-Atlantic

I see you have managed to successfully blot out all memories of Jar-Jar.
posted by fings at 6:37 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

My teen-age daughter called me into the room to see this during the Michael Phelps Show Olympics coverage last night. That surprised me because she'd agreed to go see the movie last Christmas with only minimal interest, but came out of the theater saying how much she liked it.

The portentous music was a bit much, but the visuals were great, and I think I can even follow the story without too much study ahead of time. :7) I hope this will be another good one.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:38 AM on August 12, 2016

Now writing fanfiction in my head about the poor software engineer... (h)e's like, welp, at least I got that promotion I was gunning for, can't all be winners. I'll blow my launch bonus on a ski trip to Alderaan, I guess.

You just wrote a better Star Wars movie than any of the prequels.
posted by seasparrow at 6:39 AM on August 12, 2016 [7 favorites]

Bothans are quantum entangled in pairs. You keep one and send the other one to get the secret information. That one then instantaneously flips his brain's quantum state into the other one across light years of space, meaning the one you've got now knows everything the other one knew. Of course the sender dies.

I see you've uncovered the plot for Rogue Two: Bothan Boogaloo
posted by nubs at 6:46 AM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

Impressive. Most impressive.
posted by Fizz at 7:11 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Dude, a grizzled Forrest Whitaker! He automatically makes any movie better, at least for the scenes he's in.

I'm not sure I buy the rumors about reshooting half the movie. First it was Christopher MacQuarrie doing it, now Tony Gilroy. However I'm worried movie making by committee, which I think is what happened to "The Force Awakens". But I'll be plopping down my $10 on opening night.
posted by beowulf573 at 7:34 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

A lot of folks were getting antsy last night waiting for this to premiere during Olympic Coverage, a lot of people, who I think, forgot it was being timed with the West Coast considered to allow those folks the opportunity to get off work and head home. So...it was a late night for East Coast peeps!

I've been pretty hyped about Rogue One since its announcement and especially since the first teaser was released. Gareth Edwards, after he was brought in, claimed he always wanted to emphasize the 'war' in Star Wars and that's super apparent in that beach assault scene with rebel troops storming ashore, X-wings zipping overhead flying coverage, and what not. My expectation is that he delivered a pretty good war film that was a little too 'war film' for Disney, hence some reshoots to lighten the tone.

Nor am I that worried about Tony Gilroy, as the same thing happened in Godzilla, which was a decent film. Most of all, I simply have a high level of trust in Kathleen Kennedy and the rest of the Lucasfilm team, all their projects have been pretty high quality, be it The Force Awakens or Rebels or even the Expanded Universe covering novels and comic books. They're not going to let anything disappointing slip through the cracks, especially with the first "Star Wars Story" project.

Allegedly, Rogue One will conclude at a point that will lead almost directly into the opening of A New Hope. We know that begins with Vader overseeing the pursuit and capture of the Tantive IV, so I would expect him to have some role in the final act of the film - hence his inclusion in the trailer. Biggest cameo I'm kinda excited about? Some theorize we'll see Tarkin. I'm all about Scorpius Wayne Pygram returning to the role from Revenge of the Sith. It'd make sense, after all.
posted by Atreides at 7:35 AM on August 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

Why all the running around and pew pew pew? Why don't they develop a laser beam, or missile that is somewhere in between Han Solo's blaster and the planet-destroying death star? Something with approximately the power of a large nuclear bomb?
posted by jeff-o-matic at 7:37 AM on August 12, 2016

That wasn't Tarkin in the trailer?
posted by prize bull octorok at 7:37 AM on August 12, 2016

If they did a good job, maybe they wouldn't all be dead.

We've gone from Bothan Trutherism to Bothan victim blaming. This thread is the reddit of Star Wars.

"I mean, sure Vader was a bad guy I guess, but he made some valid points, if you actually look at what he said"
posted by middleclasstool at 7:42 AM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

That wasn't Tarkin in the trailer?

Are you referring to the guy in white? That's Ben Mendelsohn's Director Orson Krennic, he's the primary antagonist.
posted by Atreides at 7:43 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

If [the Bothans] did a good job, maybe they wouldn't all be dead.

That's the last time I send Bothans to do anything.
posted by usonian at 7:46 AM on August 12, 2016 [9 favorites]

"I mean, sure Vader was a bad guy I guess, but he made some valid points, if you actually look at what he said"

#notallsith
posted by garius at 7:53 AM on August 12, 2016 [3 favorites]

"I mean, sure Vader was a bad guy I guess, but he made some valid points, if you actually look at what he said"

Things Vader was correct about:

-The Princess wasn't on any mercy mission
-The Imperial High Command shouldn't have been overly proud of the "technological terror" they constructed;
-They had to destroy them "ship to ship"
-Obi-Wan taught Luke well, but he was not a "jedi yet"
-Admiral Ozzel had failed him for the last time

More seriously, if you dig into Lucas's politics a bit (somewhere he gave an interview while the prequels were being made in which he expressed support for the idea of the need for dictatorships from time to time), the read on Ani/Vader gets a bit more complex. The politics of the Star Wars universe is a pretty mucky place if you actually scratch at it to any degree.
posted by nubs at 7:56 AM on August 12, 2016 [11 favorites]

Things Vader was correct about:

-The Princess wasn't on any mercy mission

While true, I would like to point out that that Princess was also his Force-powerful daughter. And despite being Force-awesome himself, Vader failed to sense* either the latent power or the daughter part.

* To be fair, reportedly the script writer (MeFi's own) also failed to sense that.
posted by Celsius1414 at 8:01 AM on August 12, 2016

I will of course be lining up to go see this in December with all you folks, but I have some reservations about the CGI-heavy, every-pixel-in-the-frame-crammed-with-stuff look of a lot of the action shots in this trailer; one of the things I appreciated most about The Force Awakens (and hope they'll continue with Ep VIII and beyond) was the restraint they used when it came to CGI; not that they didn't use a lot of it, but that it wasn't complete prequel / Michael Bay overkill.
posted by usonian at 8:04 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Also: is it just me or is that last shot with Darth Vader strangely framed? He looks short, somehow.
posted by usonian at 8:07 AM on August 12, 2016

"I mean, sure Vader was a bad guy I guess, but he made some valid points, if you actually look at what he said"

"I think the Trade Federation was a disaster. I think our current deals are a disaster. I'm a free trader. The problem with free trade is, you need smart people representing you. We have the greatest negotiators in the world, but we don't use them. We use political hacks and Jar Jar. We use the wrong people. Naboo was smart; they out-negotiated us. They're going to be the capital of land speeders pretty soon, the way they're going."
posted by AndrewInDC at 8:10 AM on August 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

I feel like the most striking thing in this trailer was actually the music.
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 8:26 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

Pretty sure that's not a short Darth Vader, but a tall Dark Helmet.
posted by avalonian at 8:34 AM on August 12, 2016 [8 favorites]

Aren't you a little short for a Sith Lord?
posted by wabbittwax at 8:38 AM on August 12, 2016 [8 favorites]

He's like, welp, at least I got that promotion I was gunning for, can't all be winners. I'll blow my launch bonus on a ski trip to Alderaan, I guess.

DOUGLAS ADAMS IS THAT YOU
posted by Mike Mongo at 8:43 AM on August 12, 2016

I have a weird mental resistance to more Vader-in-suit appearances. In my mind, he is not available for recycling, recasting, spinning off, prequeling, or otherwise reviving. (Yes, I mean, technically he appeared in the suit at the end of the prequels, but I only saw Revenge of the Sith once, so my brain has not assimilated it to my childhood memories.)
posted by praemunire at 8:48 AM on August 12, 2016

every-pixel-in-the-frame-crammed-with-stuff look of a lot of the action shots in this trailer

Most of the battle scenes actually remind me more of a "war is hell" WWII flick or something, rather than a transformers "ALL OF THE SHINIES" kind of overpacked action scene.

Which isn't something you normally see in a star wars, so that's kind of exciting, for me at least.

The entire theme really seems to be "there's other people in the war besides the noble rebels and the evil empire." Lots of questionable mercenaries etc. Seems pretty cool and definitely have space in the canon for it. Not everything needs to be chosen one high fantasy.
posted by mayonnaises at 8:52 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Princess was also his Force-powerful daughter. And despite being Force-awesome himself, Vader failed to sense* either the latent power or the daughter part.

I sometimes wonder if Vader didn't spend some years going about the galaxy saying "I am your Father" to any Force-sensitive kid of about the right age and it got embarrassing and so he stopped doing it, but he's inside the suit like "she's strong with the Force and she's the right age - and look at the hair, Padme used to wear it just like that - nah, don't say anything, man, you remember what happened last time and Tarkin told you to knock it off"
posted by nubs at 8:55 AM on August 12, 2016 [16 favorites]

Also: is it just me or is that last shot with Darth Vader strangely framed? He looks short, somehow.

I think it's a result of the desire to get the targeting screen from the Death Star a little bit more visible behind his nogging. Not to mention, if it's the giant view screen, he is smaller than it.


I feel like the most striking thing in this trailer was actually the music.

The first Star Wars cinematic release* not to have John Williams scoring! Alexandre Desplat is scoring this film, you may know him from a whole bunch of stuff.

* We did have The Clone Wars movie, which was probably Kevin Kiner who scores the tv show.
posted by Atreides at 8:58 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

We've gone from Bothan Trutherism to Bothan victim blaming. This thread is the reddit of Star Wars.

ALDERAAN WAS AN INSIDE JOB
posted by mhoye at 9:03 AM on August 12, 2016 [3 favorites]

super-lasers can't melt steel beams?
posted by wabbittwax at 9:08 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Well, they've got my $10 come December.
posted by octothorpe at 9:16 AM on August 12, 2016

But the Clonetroopers in the Clone Wars TV series have a stupid American-doing-Aussie accent. I guess they were a bad batch that got shipped anyway.

Hey, that's Dee Bradley Baker. Quibble with the accent if you must, but his voice acting is indispensable.
posted by Strange Interlude at 9:16 AM on August 12, 2016 [3 favorites]

that Princess was also his Force-powerful daughter. And despite being Force-awesome himself, Vader failed to sense* either the latent power or the daughter part.

One of the most common complaints about the prequel trilogy is that the whole plot hinges on the idea that Force-powerful individuals are being utterly blinded to the existence of another Force-powerful individual in their midst. I'd forgotten that the original trilogy has the same problem, better in some sense (because Vader's exposure to Leia is more brief, and there's only one of him) and worse in others (because Palpatine was surely making a deliberate effort to hide his power while Leia didn't even consciously know she had a power to hide, and Vader had a family connection rather than just shared force sensitivity).
posted by roystgnr at 9:21 AM on August 12, 2016

Also she looked a bit like Padme and he had that whole S&M thing going on with her in the cellblock, so he might not have been focussing.
posted by biffa at 9:26 AM on August 12, 2016

I've always mentally handwaved that away by imagining that Vader likely meets force sensitive people all the time, they just don't know that they are because there's no one left other than him or Palps to tell them or train them, so they're not a danger as far as he is concerned. On top of this, force sensitivity is a sliding scale anyway.

Him and Palps thus likely keep a closer eye on force-sensitives (particularly those in power) but don't worry too much about it. In this instance that's probably why he's keeping an eye on Leia anyway and going right to the trouble of hunting her down himself to begin with.

Then Luke comes along, who is ridiculously strong in the force which would probably be enough to catch Vader's attention anyway even if he hadn't (both subconsciously and then consciously) been force-groomed by Vader's old teacher and friend for god knows how long.

So it's almost like it isn't just Luke's force strength that pips his interest, it's the fact that he whiffs of the same training that Vader himself had. Same way that a top martial arts guy can recognise someone trained by another one or (on a more mundane level) I can sometimes tell if a person who wrote the code on a particular website is someone who learned how to do so from me, because they've picked up some of my habits.

If you think about it, it thus also explains why Vader is 100% convinced that it's Kenobi specifically on the Death Star despite the fact that everyone thinks he's dead (and catches no end of stick from Tarquin for it), and not just some random other Jedi.

/fanwank
posted by garius at 9:38 AM on August 12, 2016 [11 favorites]

Well, they've got my $10 come December.

wait I don't understand, are you going to the cheap theater on the west side or do you really only plan to see it once? what madness is this
posted by phunniemee at 9:42 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

Also she looked a bit like Padme and he had that whole S&M thing going on with her in the cellblock, so he might not have been focussing.

Darth's Tinder profile is probably a bit of a mess.
posted by nubs at 9:56 AM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

I'm super-psyched for K-2SO, the enforcer droid. Here's hoping they steal liberally from Knights of the Old Republic's writing for HK-47. At a minimum, I demand the fan service of him calling someone "meatbag" sometime in the movie.
posted by Nelson at 9:59 AM on August 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

4 of 8 Star Wars movies revolve around Death Stars.

This. Can we please have a Star Wars film about something other than blowing up the latest version of the Death Star? (When will the Empire ever learn?)
posted by Mistress of the Bunnies at 10:01 AM on August 12, 2016

ALDERAAN WAS AN INSIDE JOB

It was no coincidence that a high-ranking member of the royal family was on the Death Star at the time of the attack.

WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 10:03 AM on August 12, 2016 [3 favorites]

This. Can we please have a Star Wars film about something other than blowing up the latest version of the Death Star? (When will the Empire ever learn?)

I'm hoping that a strong outing for Rogue One will mean that they start feeling more free and able to explore the rest of the galaxy with the films, because yeah, we need to get away from the same elements over and over again.
posted by nubs at 10:04 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

If you think about it, it thus also explains why Vader is 100% convinced that it's Kenobi specifically on the Death Star despite the fact that everyone thinks he's dead (and catches no end of stick from Tarquin for it), and not just some random other Jedi.

The other thing to keep in mind is that, when Vader senses that Luke is strong with the force, Luke is specifically using the force at that moment. First Obi-Wan is reaching out to him, and then he uses the force to target the missiles rather than his computer.

In other words Vader is just having an over-9000 moment, which he never gets from Leia.
posted by thecaddy at 10:26 AM on August 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

This. Can we please have a Star Wars film about something other than blowing up the latest version of the Death Star? (When will the Empire ever learn?)

To be fair, unless this is the prototype (is that still canon? I can't remember), this is the first incident of rebels bite Imperial hand, not the second time, when they should have known better.*


*But c'mon, it was already under construction, the funds had already been allocated, you can't just terminate all those jobs and return the money! This is elementary government spenditure here!
posted by Atreides at 10:26 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Darth's Tinder profile is probably a bit of a mess.

"So, Darth, how did your last relationship end?"
"I killed her. Telepathically. From half away across the galaxy. After I choked her. With my mind."
"Check, please!"
posted by dances with hamsters at 10:27 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

More seriously, they're playing it a bit safe than going into left field, and it's understandable given the stakes driving the non-trilogy films to come. These are going to be their off year cash cows.
posted by Atreides at 10:27 AM on August 12, 2016

Where's Mads Mikkelsen? I want to find out what happened to Bedelia's leg.
posted by lagomorphius at 10:28 AM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

I'm pretty sure she actually died of being sad.
posted by Artw at 10:32 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

Where's Mads Mikkelsen? I want to find out what happened to Bedelia's leg.

She replaced it with Threepio's original gold leg.
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:37 AM on August 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

they're playing it a bit safe than going into left field, and it's understandable given the stakes driving the non-trilogy films to come. These are going to be their off year cash cows.

That's exactly it, and I have to keep reminding myself that because I'm a big fan, I am probably more ready for a Star Wars story that goes out and explores left field than the average moviegoer, who might need to be lead there a bit more gently and in such a way that they can still see how to get "home".
posted by nubs at 10:46 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Can't wait to see this! I always wondered what happened to Ker after the destruction of Psychlo.
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 11:03 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

The Death Star angle doesn't bother me too much; it seems like its function here is mostly as the MacGuffin for a heist plot, and it does make a certain amount of sense to spin some new series of stories off from familiar/comfortable territory.
posted by usonian at 11:25 AM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

I heard George Lucas is already working on a fan edit of Rogue One where he replaces all of Darth Vader's speaking lines with Hayden Christiansen's voice

I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire.
posted by Darth George Lucas at 11:39 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

dibs on Darth Tinder as my sithname
posted by Golem XIV at 11:55 AM on August 12, 2016 [3 favorites]

What about Darth Grindr?
posted by wabbittwax at 11:59 AM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

What about Darth Grindr?

The lack of supervillain/henchman slashiness in SW has always bugged me.
posted by praemunire at 12:00 PM on August 12, 2016

Well, they've got my $10 come December.

wait I don't understand, are you going to the cheap theater on the west side or do you really only plan to see it once? what madness is this

$10? Out here in the sticks that's still highway robbery. We're still under that ten buck threshold. If I want to wait a couple weeks, like I did with the last one, it'll show up at the small town theater a few miles away from us. $5 admission. Popcorn is $1, $2, or $4. Living out in the boondocks sucks in a lot of ways but going to a movie isn't one of them.

Anyhoo, they've got my $5. That trailer looks awesome. I never saw the Clone Wars stuff so I have no idea who these characters are. But I'm still in. I downloaded Clone Wars back when I could get away that stuff. Maybe some time I'll have the time to catch up but I doubt it.
posted by Ber at 12:13 PM on August 12, 2016

Everyone always misinterprets that line. Poor Manuel "Manny" Bothans, he never gets any respect.
posted by ckape at 12:41 PM on August 12, 2016 [8 favorites]

I'm pretty sure she actually died of being sad.

Without the line from the medical droid who can't understand why she died (and why would a medical droid know from mystical force-murder?), it would be perfectly clear that Vader did, in fact, kill her. But #lolprequels, I get it.
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:43 PM on August 12, 2016

I mean he force-chokes her right on Mustafar, not from halfway across the galaxy.
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:44 PM on August 12, 2016

I am excite you guys.
posted by The Bellman at 12:53 PM on August 12, 2016

I mean he force-chokes her right on Mustafar, not from halfway across the galaxy.

Yes, but she loses her "will to live" later on. So Vader must have been leaching it somehow, from across the galaxy. At least, that might explain why she dies and Anakin doesn't turn into a cinder. Or the Emperor did something, somehow.
posted by nubs at 1:04 PM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Awesome to see Jiang Wen here as a badass heavy weapons guy.
posted by pravit at 1:12 PM on August 12, 2016

being fatally injured but not dying from it right away is certainly a thing in real life and stories.
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:27 PM on August 12, 2016

The folks making the movie said that Vader is not going to have a lot of screen time but he will loom large over the film.

My prediction is that he shows up for maybe six minutes total, but in that time he kills off pretty much the entire cast. Actually, that's seriously my prediction.
posted by happyroach at 1:30 PM on August 12, 2016 [6 favorites]

being fatally injured but not dying from it right away is certainly a thing in real life and stories.

OK, look, I don't want to do this. But I think it's possible you've blotted the moment from your mind, for which no being that has seen the movie can be faulted. Stick to the first 15 seconds or so, that should limit any damage.

Padme's Death

Transcript for those afraid to click:

DR. DROID: Medically, she's completely healthy. For reasons we can't explain, we are losing her.

OBI-WAN: She's dying?

DR. DROID: We don't know why. She has lost the will to live.
posted by nubs at 1:34 PM on August 12, 2016 [3 favorites]

"she has... The Sad."
"Nooooooooo"
posted by Artw at 1:41 PM on August 12, 2016 [12 favorites]

If you really want to get weirded out by the scene, stick around for the droid helping with delivery and check out the arm paddles.
posted by nubs at 1:43 PM on August 12, 2016

So I'm not gonna watch that movie again but what's weird with the paddles?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:45 PM on August 12, 2016

Yes, to be clear, I don't think she died of a crushed trachea, I think the droids' bafflement is meant to suggest psychic wounds. Not to say that one can't find that cheesy, but to say that she "died of sadness" and ignore the glaringly obvious throughline from when Vader literally drops her with a force-choke at a moment of peak Sith rage is, likewise, blotting out parts of the script.

Really, I just think all these threads about Star Wars would be better without all the perfunctory recitations of What We Didn't Like About The Prequels.
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:47 PM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

This looks better than TFA did in trailers. I do not know if that is a good sign or a bad sign. After the Prequels I trust nothing to be good until I have seen it, had a night to sleep on it, seen it again, took my temperature and still thought it was good.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 1:47 PM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Well, the droid is helping Padme deliver the babies, and it's got these long paddles on the arms that kinda remind me of a speculum to some degree. They just look kinda strange and then when you think about what the droid is doing it feels kinda creepy.
posted by nubs at 1:48 PM on August 12, 2016

phunniemee: "Well, they've got my $10 come December.

wait I don't understand, are you going to the cheap theater on the west side or do you really only plan to see it once? what madness is this"

AMC Loews out here in the rust-belt still only charges a Hamilton for an adult first run evening ticket. What exorbitant rate do they charge in your fancy city?
posted by octothorpe at 1:52 PM on August 12, 2016

I'm pretty sure she actually died of being sad.

OMG DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED
posted by cooker girl at 1:56 PM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

Aren't Hamilton tickets like $400? That seems like a lot.
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:57 PM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

Or do you have to stage a production of Hamilton to get a ticket?
posted by nubs at 2:00 PM on August 12, 2016

AMC Loews out here in the rust-belt still only charges a Hamilton for an adult first run evening ticket. What exorbitant rate do they charge in your fancy city?

You guys are misunderstanding. I can see movies for 4 bucks at the AMC way out on the west side of the city if I go before 4pm. So I could see it twice for under ten bucks going to the cheap theater. But the cost of most movies at non-grandma times is generally in the neighborhood of 10 bucks, so I was acting all mock aghast that someone would be planning to see a Star Wars movie in theaters only one time.

Did I mention my cheap theater is nearly always empty? IT'S WONDERFUL.
posted by phunniemee at 2:02 PM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

You guys are misunderstanding.

That's where I'm a Viking!

I'm gonna have to see what the reviews on this one are like - there's no doubt that I'm seeing it, I'm pretty stoked, but I want to see what the level of violence is before committing to take the kids, regardless of the cost.
posted by nubs at 2:04 PM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Forrest Whitaker has hair in this trailer. Lots of hair. He was bald in the teaser. I wonder what that's about.
posted by nushustu at 2:06 PM on August 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

My prediction is that he shows up for maybe six minutes total, but in that time he kills off pretty much the entire cast. Actually, that's seriously my prediction.

I feel (despite my instinctive resistance) this is where you can rehab Vader a bit. Let's face it, one of the worst things about the prequels is that they made Vader look even more pathetic than RotJ did (though still not as bad as Kylo Ren...). So let's have a couple of good sequences where he kills the crap out of everyone in a football-field-sized radius, to remind us of how intimidating he was when he first appeared in SW.
posted by praemunire at 2:08 PM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

Forrest Whitaker has hair in this trailer. Lots of hair. He was bald in the teaser. I wonder what that's about.

My wild speculation: he starts out with hair, gets captured by the Empire and shaved (and presumably tortured), then escapes/is rescued.
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 2:40 PM on August 12, 2016

I was thinking he shaves after being recruited to the Dirty Dozen Rogue One team.
posted by nubs at 2:44 PM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

the droid is helping Padme deliver the babies, and it's got these long paddles on the arms

They're silicone oven mitts. The droid is taking the buns out of the oven. And because of all the midi-chlorians, those infants are hot.
posted by Nelson at 2:46 PM on August 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

No they're repurposed jai alai droids. If you read the novelization you would know this
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:58 PM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

I've always mentally handwaved that away by....

See what you did there do I.
posted by rokusan at 3:02 PM on August 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

Well, the droid is helping Padme deliver the babies, and it's got these long paddles on the arms that kinda remind me of a speculum to some degree.

Oh, okay. I thought maybe they were dripping with goo/blood/ichor or otherwise something weird/gross apart from just being paddles which is yeah weird.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:07 PM on August 12, 2016

i think the most remarkable thing about the birth sequence is that padme is apparently able to deliver two children with her legs together the entire time
posted by entropicamericana at 3:29 PM on August 12, 2016

I feel (despite my instinctive resistance) this is where you can rehab Vader a bit.

I thought Star Wars Rebels did a good start on rehabbing Vader. He was basically terrifying and unstoppable in his appearance.
posted by happyroach at 3:59 PM on August 12, 2016 [6 favorites]

Rebels Vader is so very, very good. The recent Darth Vader comic is very good also.
posted by Artw at 4:50 PM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

i think the most remarkable thing about the birth sequence is that padme is apparently able to deliver two children with her legs together the entire time

So many women are scheduling a Corellian section nowadays. Just teleport the baby out. Avoid any umbilical entanglements.
posted by condour75 at 6:11 PM on August 12, 2016 [3 favorites]

So let's have a couple of good sequences where he kills the crap out of everyone in a football-field-sized radius, to remind us of how intimidating he was when he first appeared in SW.

Yup. Watch Rebels.
posted by Sauce Trough at 6:22 PM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

OI! There's no teleportation in Star Wars!

Well, except the JJ Abrams planet-to-planet kind.
posted by Artw at 7:12 PM on August 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Some maniac spliced together the teasers, trailers and even audio from the A New Hope Radio Plays (which deserve their own post). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo0RoK9GezE

Saw Gerrera's hair changes multiple times.
posted by artaxerxes at 3:06 AM on August 13, 2016

DR. DROID: We don't know why. She has lost the will to live.

AUDIENCE: We know how she feels!
posted by Grangousier at 3:06 AM on August 13, 2016 [5 favorites]

Well, all we know about teleportation in Star Wars is that C-3PO can't use it to get whiny teens off their boring home planets. So it's either a realized technology which isn't commonly used, or an in-universe sci-fi trope popular enough to casually drop into conversation.
posted by condour75 at 5:57 AM on August 13, 2016

Artaxerxes, there was a New Hope radio play post last year.

And then, nine months later, there was another one.
posted by thecaddy at 10:20 AM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

KYLO REN REACTS to ROGUE ONE TRAILER 2.
posted by Pendragon at 3:30 PM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

But what if the trailer had more Beastie Boys?
posted by Artw at 10:51 PM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

(Sirens are the best bit)
posted by Artw at 10:54 PM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

Everyone should watch the Kylo Ren video, it's fantastic.
posted by Atreides at 7:16 AM on August 16, 2016

Breaking Down the Breakdown of the “Star Wars: Rogue One” Trailer - "I’m fascinated by these trailer breakdowns; they’re like modern day exercises in reading cracked oracle bones, except the bones are 2 minute YouTube videos, and the Gods are our corporate story overlords at Disney.

So why not subject the breakdown article itself to the breakdown treatment? This is Overthinking It; after all. If not here, then where? If not now, then when?"
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:28 AM on August 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

International Trailer

(pretty much the same but a few new bits - particularly, it reveals how the Rebels learn about the Death Star)
posted by nubs at 1:54 PM on August 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

If can you didn't get your Sabotage fix Star Trek, there is now the Rogue One Trailer (feat. Beastie Boys)
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 2:47 PM on August 18, 2016

I finally gave in and watched it and it's a million times better than it has any right to be.
posted by entropicamericana at 5:52 PM on August 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

Hey, look! Another Star Wars film fundamentally about a giant spherical weapon!

I loved the first movie as much as any 7-year-old, but at this point I'd really love to see the Powers That Be branch out into plots about something else, given that at this point 4 of the 9 films hinge on effectively the same idea.
posted by uberchet at 9:40 AM on August 19, 2016

You're pretty much guaranteed that with every film to come. Episode VIII can't possibly touch upon a planet destroying super weapon (Except maybe its after effects), and the Han Solo origin film should have almost nothing to do with the development of the Death Star you'll see in Rogue One and A New Hope.

I think of those four films mentioned, they become much more interesting when you look at them from the character perspective, in which case, they become quite a bit different or in the case of The Force Awakens, riff off the original trilogy. A New Hope is our classic film in which the Death Star is either the setting or the subject for half the film. The character movements are there, but not in a huge way. You have the farm boy answering the call to adventure to become the hero of the galaxy and you have the smuggler thinking of someone other than himself for a change. Jumping ahead to Return of the Jedi, and the film really becomes wrapped around Skywalker's hope to save his father from the Dark Side. The attack on the second Death Star really takes on the role of setting rather than prime objective of the film.

Thirty years later, The Force Awakens again treats Starkiller Base much more as a setting than the principle object of the film. It's far more dedicated to introducing Finn, Rey, and touching upon their own emotional triumphs, such as leaving the First Order or leaving Jakku, among other accomplishments. Further, TFA playfully spins the angle of A New Hope, which had the Death Star plans play the role of MacGuffin that fall into the hands of Luke Skywalker, by making knowledge of Skywalker its MacGuffin. Starkiller base doesn't prominently become an objective until halfway through the movie, and then, doesn't become the focus of the characters until the final third act. On top of that, it essentially serves as the setting, not the objective (a secondary virtue) because it's there that Rey truly begins to learn of her ability with the Force, and it's there that the pivotal confrontation between Han Solo and Kylo Ren takes place. The destruction of Star Killer base is a side show, and unlike the destruction of either Death Star, is delayed long enough for the final climatic duels between Kylo, Finn, and Rey.

Now finally in Rogue One, the Death Star is present, but its destruction isn't the motivator, it's the how can we destroy it, if we can, that gets the first domino in the series to pitch over. It's procuring the MacGuffin for A New Hope. It's fair to complain about planet destroying super weapons as a tired setting, but they definitely haven't been at the forefront or focus of the four films that touch upon them.
posted by Atreides at 11:23 AM on August 19, 2016

I'm thinking they're really going to change it up in the future. Instead of a giant destructo-sphere, the next film will feature a giant cube o' destruction. Or possibly a rhomboid.

That, or somebody is going to get smart and figure out a way to use self-replicating nano-drones. Take out the population, leave the planets/solar system.
posted by nubs at 11:37 AM on August 19, 2016 [2 favorites]

I get that people love this stuff, but I found TFA to be a completely uninteresting retread with the sole exception of having a female protagonist. I suspect I'll wait for video on RO, because I have Spherical Weapon Fatigue.

"but they definitely haven't been at the forefront or focus of the four films that touch upon them."

I'm sorry, but that's just hilariously untrue. The existence and threat of the superweapon absolutely drives the plot in ANH, ROTJ, and TFA. And it seems likely that it's a giant plot driver for RO.
posted by uberchet at 6:00 PM on August 21, 2016

I'm thinking they're really going to change it up in the future. Instead of a giant destructo-sphere, the next film will feature a giant cube o' destruction. Or possibly a rhomboid.

That, or somebody is going to get smart and figure out a way to use self-replicating nano-drones. Take out the population, leave the planets/solar system.

That's all Star Trek stuff.
posted by Artw at 8:35 PM on August 21, 2016

I'm sorry, but that's just hilariously untrue. The existence and threat of the superweapon absolutely drives the plot in ANH, ROTJ, and TFA. And it seems likely that it's a giant plot driver for RO.

A New Hope - Protagonist spurred to do what? Stop the Death Star? No, save the princess! The call to adventure and eventual rescue eats up 2/3rds of the film, with only the final act actually being focused on stopping the super weapon.

Return of the Jedi - Protagonist spurred to stop the Death Star? No, he's spurred to save his father. It's definitely fair to say the forest moon contingent is principally driven to take out the shield generator to allow for a successful attack on the second Death Star, but the focus is almost exclusively on getting that job done in the film. The space battle fills up probably ten to fifteen minutes tops of the entire film, but for Han, Chewie, and Leia, their attention is almost entirely driven with that shield generator.

The Force Awakens - The Starkiller Base threat doesn't even come apparent until near the end of Act II, and discussions to stop it don't pick up until really the start of Act III. The film's McGuffin is the location of Luke Skywalker up until that point, put on hold until they can not just stop the weapon, but also rescue Rey. The efforts to stop it are then overshadowed by the attempt by Han to save his son.

I'm not disagreeing about a disproportionate appearance of super weapons in these films, but you could pretty much make the same sweeping complaint, "Oh, they're fighting the Empire .... again!" I do think when you break the films down, the super weapons are not nearly as central to the stories that are told to make it come across like a continual rinse and repeat of the same idea.
posted by Atreides at 7:46 AM on August 22, 2016

TBH If I were going to object to one it would be in TFA and not here.
posted by Artw at 8:08 AM on August 22, 2016

To expand on that: this seems like smart use of existing world building, whereas TFA's Death Planet just seems like an unimaginative addition. I forgive it, because TFA has a lot of charm, but it is hack as fuck.
posted by Artw at 8:11 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

"The Fucking Article's Death Planet?"

oh, whoopsie!
posted by From Bklyn at 8:32 AM on August 22, 2016

"I do think when you break the films down, the super weapons are not nearly as central to the stories that are told to make it come across like a continual rinse and repeat of the same idea."

Except, you know, I did that, personally, and came to the conclusion that they're all hanging on the same plot bones. Hence my comment. Yes, they're trying to rescute Leia . . . AND get the plans in R2 to the Rebels. Yes, there's a daddy plot in Jedi . . . but the Death Star II looms much larger, for our characters and the universe at large (and especially folks on Endor). Starkiller Base is an even worse, more thinly plotted retread here (presumably due to the disaster inflation that plagues all such weapons), but sure enough the final act is basically the same as in the prior two Big Dumb Weapon films.

It's like Lucas & co. are actively trying to prove that there are no new stories possible.

I feel like you're clinging to very minor details to say "see? Different!" when the elephant in the room here is literally the size of a planet.

I was never an expanded universe person, but I get the idea that many, many talented people told many, many stories -- some of them great! -- about the Star Wars universe without needing Yet Another Spherical Superweapon. I feel like Lucas & etc are completely squandering what could be an interesting opportunity here by (apparently) insisting that half of all such films deal with the same plot device.

(The slavish need of TFA to hit every mark left by ANH is a whole OTHER area of crap, but it's beyond the scope of this thread.)
posted by uberchet at 11:24 AM on August 22, 2016

Suncrusher!
posted by Artw at 11:36 AM on August 22, 2016

Darksaber!
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:50 AM on August 22, 2016

(Not to be confused with Mandalorian dark sabres, which are cool)
posted by Artw at 12:02 PM on August 22, 2016

I took it that the First Order were a karaoke version of the Empire, so of course they were going to do a Death Star, but it had to be BIGGER and STARRIER and DEATHIER. It's a totally self-conscious knock-off. Starkiller Base makes a lot more sense than the Return of the Jedi Death Star II.
posted by Grangousier at 12:06 PM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

Actually the Darksaber (just the planet-destroying superlaser with minimal infrastructure to support it) would have made hella more sense than SkB for the First Order as karaoke-Empire
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:09 PM on August 22, 2016

(feeling pretty good about avoiding the EU stuff now)
posted by uberchet at 4:04 PM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

If you only read more about one of these things, read about the Suncrusher, AKA the Poochie of the Star Wars universe. If the Suncrusher is not on screen then all the characters should be saying "where's the sun crusher?"
posted by Artw at 4:15 PM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

The Suncrusher was a terrible superweapon. No onboard holding cells for daring rescues/escapes, no bottomless pits with insufficient safety railing, no TIE fighters to dogfight with the X-wings, and most importantly, no single point of spectacular failure that can only be reached via death-defying piloting through an enclosed space.
posted by ckape at 9:14 PM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

That's not a complete accounting, but, yes, 'a superweapon exists and our intrepid heroes have to stop it' was a well-worn plot-point in the EU,

I know Space isn't an Ocean, but I'd love to see Mahanian naval doctrine applied to Star Wars.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 11:12 PM on August 22, 2016

(Am I right, based on quick googling, that "Mahanian naval doctrine" boils down to "naval power is the most important thing"?)
posted by uberchet at 7:20 AM on August 23, 2016

Naval, as in navel orange, as in big round thing?
posted by Artw at 7:26 AM on August 23, 2016

"naval power is the most important thing"

As expressed through lots and lots of capital ships that engage in a "decisive battle" to maintain spacelane control.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:39 AM on August 23, 2016 [1 favorite]

Ah, that makes sense.

Candidly, I'm less interested in the application of Mahan to the Star Wars universe because I don't think the worldbuilding is strong enough to support that level of analysis; it seems obvious that the reason a blockade was possible in TPM was because the plot needed a blockade, not because of some anti-Mahan disciples in control of military policy. ;)

Consequently I'm not sure how fair it is to encourage this tangent, but it's fascinating, so: it seems clear that Mahan was fundamentally right, but it might also be because his position could almost be reduced to "be super strong and have lots of places you control to support your strength", which is a position any fair to middlin' Risk player will reach in short order, and is very close to the joke about being Batman, if you can.

Control of the interstitial space -- ie the sea -- in a world without air travel is obviously a key factor. Did others not see this before he came along, or was he codifying things that were sort-of known but not really formalized?

The other followup is how Mahanian thought changed post-Midway/post-WWII, if it did at all. Increasingly independent carrier groups became the rule instead of giant ships-of-the-line, and their purpose became way more about force projection than actual sea battle, no? Still, I reckon you could argue that we're still in a Mahanian world, just one with different parameters.
posted by uberchet at 9:06 AM on August 23, 2016

The other followup is how Mahanian thought changed post-Midway/post-WWII, if it did at all. Increasingly independent carrier groups became the rule instead of giant ships-of-the-line, and their purpose became way more about force projection than actual sea battle, no?

From a dimly remembered history paper I did half a lifetime ago, while carriers and air power introduced the idea of projection of force, the importance still comes down to the ability to manage & protect logistics (particularly for a landed invasion force) and to deny an opposing force access to resources/trade. So, IIRC, the introduction of carrier groups changed the range and by extension the nature of naval engagements, the fundamentals remained the same.
posted by nubs at 9:14 AM on August 23, 2016 [1 favorite]

I took it that the First Order were a karaoke version of the Empire, so of course they were going to do a Death Star, but it had to be BIGGER and STARRIER and DEATHIER. It's a totally self-conscious knock-off. Starkiller Base makes a lot more sense than the Return of the Jedi Death Star II.

Adding signal boost to this: Yeah, it's like Kylo Ren's helmet. Someone (I think here, and I'm too lazy to search) made the excellent point that The First Order aren't the Nazis, they're the guys who are really into the Nazis. Ren is the perfect embodiment of this idea, with the sputtery lightsaber his grandfather wouldn't have been caught dead with, and his helmet that he wears only because ol' Granddad did, and boy howdy, wasn't that cool?

It seems likely to me that the Hydrox Version of the Empire would likewise just ape existing Empire plans..."but this one goes to eleven".

When, really, Abrams included both the helmet and SB because he knew the first order (ha!) of business was grounding the fans back in the universe, re-establishing trust, effectively saying "we're going back to the stuff you like, promise." He just found a way to thematically make that fit by making the whole movie be about Star Wars fans growing up and getting to be in Star Wars for real.
posted by middleclasstool at 12:51 PM on August 23, 2016 [1 favorite]

Alt-Reich.
posted by Artw at 2:12 PM on August 23, 2016 [3 favorites]

Note: Hydrox actually predates Oreo and Starkiller Base is totally a double-stuf Death Star.
posted by ckape at 2:57 PM on August 23, 2016 [2 favorites]

Death Star = Oreo
The Tarkin = Hydrox
Death Star II = Double Stuf Oreo
Starkiller Base = Oreo Ice Cream Sandwich
Suncrusher = Oreo Minis, swallowed whole
Darksaber = just the creme filling
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:10 PM on August 23, 2016 [3 favorites]

What about vanilla Oreos?
posted by nubs at 4:59 PM on August 23, 2016

Silly, there's no such thing. The only varieties are original and double stuf. If any others existed, it would mean we were living in the darkest timeline.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:07 PM on August 23, 2016 [1 favorite]

So they're the Christmas Special?
posted by Artw at 9:22 PM on August 23, 2016 [2 favorites]

Mahan argued that naval power was supremely important to nation states because the ability to protect trade (and to attack enemy's trade, in wartime) was necessary for long-term success in the then-modern era, because conflicts are ultimately won on logistics and economics, and trade (even then) was deeply interconnected. But he also argued for a narrow and specific type of naval power: the concentration of shipbuilding into a (relatively) small number of large capital ships, which would be concentrated in their nation's home waters, and able to force an enemy to engage in (and then win) a pitched and decisive battle (Trafalgar, not blockade; or rather, Trafalgar, so that they could blockade). Hand-in-hand with that, he also argued for a strong merchant marine (so that a country wouldn't be dependent on other countries for shipping), and foreign expansion to establish state-owned fueling stations and bases overseas (to protect trade).

For what it's worth, General Tagge was revealed to have survived the first Death Star and appeared in the recent Marvel title Darth Vader. While definitely no where near the focus of the comic book storylines, Tagge begrudges the waste of resources on the Death Star which could have been used to build multiple capital ships, i.e., super star destroyers. He's also focused on logistics and what not. So at least someone working in the Star Wars expanded universe has a similar mind set.
posted by Atreides at 9:14 AM on August 24, 2016

Plus, FWIW, that's the best current Star Wars comic.
posted by Artw at 9:18 AM on August 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

But then how would you keep the local systems in line?
posted by RobotHero at 10:21 AM on August 24, 2016 [2 favorites]

What if they landed giant mechanical horsies as well, for the ground attack?
posted by Artw at 10:52 AM on August 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Or possibly more like a dog or a camel, not 100% sure.
posted by Artw at 10:52 AM on August 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Rogue Binks
posted by nubs at 7:57 AM on August 25, 2016 [2 favorites]