"We don't deserve what is being offered right now as dessert."

August 15, 2016 8:33 AM

There's a crisis in Chicago. A gelato crisis.
posted by phunniemee (104 comments total)

In other news: Amsterdam's Nutella Crisis.
posted by humboldt32 at 8:35 AM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

I don't think I've ever read anything more white than this.
posted by Kitteh at 8:35 AM on August 15, 2016 [65 favorites]

One of my favorite things about how news like this works is when "this is SERIOUS and IMPORTANT" gains widespread attention and suddenly becomes "now everyone knows you're an asshole."
posted by phunniemee at 8:37 AM on August 15, 2016 [51 favorites]

It is hard getting good help these days. We're in a sort of servant donut hole at the moment. The working classes are just disgusting, and while progress is being made in leaps and bounds, for now at least, the robots simply aren't up to standard. Until they are, I'm afraid life is just going to be painfully, well, proletarian.
posted by Naberius at 8:38 AM on August 15, 2016 [6 favorites]

Tadros, who described the situation as “kind of like ‘Best In Show’ and ‘The Twilight Zone, is now also, after this description, on my best friend I've never met list.

And not that it matters in the "assholes gonna be assholes" way, but Black Dog Gelato is really fucking good.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:43 AM on August 15, 2016 [13 favorites]

“You’re dealing with the highest echelon of people who live in Chicago.”

You are not.
posted by jeather at 8:44 AM on August 15, 2016 [59 favorites]

People like that make me yearn for the reintroduction of the stocks. Think how much pleasanter the Gold Coast would be if everyone who demanded a "resident discount" on their gelato was then pelted with frozen dairy products in the public square.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:45 AM on August 15, 2016 [15 favorites]

I moved away from Chicago a few months ago and I have been kind of missing it but now I feel so, so much better about my decision. Thank you phunniemee!
posted by enn at 8:46 AM on August 15, 2016

Yo guys, seriously, in less than a week I'm going to live a block away from Black Dog in Ukrainian Village. Getting ready for some heavenly strawberry-balsamic-vinegar every day.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 8:47 AM on August 15, 2016 [7 favorites]

The struggle is real.
posted by adamrice at 8:49 AM on August 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

Well, they are the highest echelon of something, that's for sure
posted by mike_bling at 8:51 AM on August 15, 2016 [11 favorites]

A part of me actually appreciates people like this every once and a while because, even though I'm comfortably (when I don't make bad decisions) middle class, folks like this really keep the flames of my class hatred for The Haves well-stoked.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:54 AM on August 15, 2016 [23 favorites]

We want to make the Park great again that is all. It is our backyard we want it great," she said in an e-mail.

There are so many levels to this as a microcosm of America I can't even
posted by Karaage at 8:56 AM on August 15, 2016 [15 favorites]

Oh, the highest echelon. Well, that clears it right up - I sure wouldn't want rich people not to get the exact, precise thing that they want the very minute they want it. Perhaps we could develop some social programs to assist them.
posted by Frowner at 8:56 AM on August 15, 2016 [5 favorites]

Like maybe an unpaid 24/7 personal assistant or ten, maybe that would make them feel better.
posted by Frowner at 8:57 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

I am so glad you posted this. It's getting the attention it richly deserves.
posted by veggieboy at 8:58 AM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

Perhaps someone who could go to the gelato stand that is three blocks away and get them the correct, imported gelato.
posted by misskaz at 8:59 AM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

While a line of customers at Amorino is a typical occurrence, Gasparian said it’s gotten worse as customers unhappy with Black Dog's gelato have repeatedly come in to her shop to voice their discontent, even demanding a discount.

“They thought they could come to my store and wait in line, and by the time they got to the register, they wanted some sort of resident discount. And I was like, ’No such discount exists,’ " she said. “There were times I just gave it because people were so rude and I just couldn’t stand it."

I wonder what these folks really do deserve? I don't think it's gelato.
posted by cubby at 9:00 AM on August 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

I know the article says this, but I also want to point out more loudly that the gelato they want is literally a five minute walk away.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:00 AM on August 15, 2016 [22 favorites]

I know the article says this, but I also want to point out more loudly that the gelato they want is literally a five minute walk away.

Actually, from clicking through and reading about the timeline, it seems the gelato they want is the gelato from Whispers Cafe, which closed last year amid (you guessed it) strident-but-ineffective online petitions.

So basically they didn't get their way then, and they're going to harass this poor dude until the end of time because of it.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:03 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

I like traditional gelato too, but I am all for goat cheese cashew caramel. (I had blackberry goat cheese something, and it was fantastic.)
posted by jeather at 9:05 AM on August 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

Ok... I am not kidding... THIS IS REAL?

(If this isn't fake Onion style humour then I have officially been fooled)
posted by Cosine at 9:09 AM on August 15, 2016

STEINREICH/KEMPTON: MAKE THE PARK GREAT AGAIN!
posted by me & my monkey at 9:14 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

I just kinda started making air-wank gestures while reading this, without even thinking about it.
posted by egypturnash at 9:17 AM on August 15, 2016 [17 favorites]

Of course this is happening in the Viagra Triangle.
posted by srboisvert at 9:22 AM on August 15, 2016 [7 favorites]

Amorino's gelato is imported from Europe and is layered, flower-like, into cones. Fans say it's the most authentic gelato this side of the Atlantic.

Clearly when I went to Rome I was doing gelato wrong, because I had some mighty fine gelato but never layered into a prissy-ass flower.

p.s. goat cheese cashew caramel sounds delicious.
posted by telepanda at 9:24 AM on August 15, 2016 [6 favorites]

I also think this would be a great meetup activity. We could go to black dog and ask for a non-resident markup.
posted by srboisvert at 9:26 AM on August 15, 2016 [11 favorites]

I appreciate the journalistic decision to print the yelp/petition/whatever comments in their full unedited [sic]-worthy glory.
posted by HeroZero at 9:26 AM on August 15, 2016 [9 favorites]

Uh. Wow. WOW. Talk about your champagne problems. They don't like the way the location looks, they don't like the texture of the gelato, they don't like that it's not served in froofy cones, they don't like the unusual flavors... it's like a bunch of toddlers. My God. The arrogance of Gold Coast residents is always astonishing, but this really takes the cake. Or gelato.
posted by angeline at 9:29 AM on August 15, 2016 [7 favorites]

Is this some sort of grar-maximization enterprise? Because I'm feeling like I would really despise every side in this controversy.

I'm sure a small business like Black Dog feels like they have to outflank the ever-weirder creativity of the other ice cream makers in town, but so many of their flavors listed online seem like, well....vomit.

The residents in the neighborhood are complaining that ice cream is melting on a hot day. Sympathy cannot go lower.

Those Amorino cones? Stupid and twee. I hate the people who thought them up, I hate the people who would buy them, and I hate that their shops are probably berating their underpaid staff into sculpting them into just the right shape. Oh, and their website says "artisanal", despite the stuff apparently being flown in from Europe. A helpful hint: there are perfectly good cows in Wisconsin, about an hours drive away, and if you went a little more locavore, you might be able to say "artisanal" without the snide, ironic smirk.
posted by gimonca at 9:30 AM on August 15, 2016 [9 favorites]

Tempest meet teapot.
posted by Splunge at 9:32 AM on August 15, 2016

Chatham: Our children keep getting shot to death

Lawndale: Our streetlights have been out all year

Gold Coast: Our gelato stand is horrible
— @_gxm
posted by mike_bling at 9:32 AM on August 15, 2016 [63 favorites]

Can I just say how good their flavors look?
posted by Carillon at 9:33 AM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

Ok, so it goes the Marketing Division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation and then these guys, right?
posted by tobascodagama at 9:35 AM on August 15, 2016 [9 favorites]

I don't think I've ever read anything more white than this.

I'm pretty sure there are rich entitled assholes of all ethnicities.
posted by gyc at 9:42 AM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yeah but, as a white people, I gotta say, it's usually white people when something is this entirely stupid.
posted by angeline at 9:44 AM on August 15, 2016 [35 favorites]

So, fun story about gelato:

Back at the end of May I went to the Gelato World Tour on a first date. Black Dog was there repping a flavor (way down the page you'll find it) but I didn't get a chance to try it, more on that in a sec. I sampled I think 6 of the flavors; my favorites were the camembert plum and the saffron pistachio lemon (which tasted like a bowl of Persian food). But then I got sick. Like, violently ill, and the most embarrassing kind to be on a first date. And actually, it wasn't even the worst part of that date, either. Yay, dating.

Anyway, where I'm going with this is, guess which gelato definitely DID NOT make me violently ill? The Black Dog gelato. So even not having had it before it's polling pretty ok in my personal ranking of gelatos.
posted by phunniemee at 9:46 AM on August 15, 2016 [10 favorites]

the appearance of the Black Dog stand, essentially a freezer case stationed under an awning next to the Bow Truss kiosk. Brian Dryer, a Gold Coast resident for nearly 20 years, called the pink stand an “IKEA shack” with inadequate signage...

Bizarrely, this is the exact same setup the old gelato vendor had: small refrigerated case under an awning, unobtrusive signage. And yes, the old vendor's gelato got a little runny on extremely hot days, too. There's not nearly enough room for an ostentatious space with restaurant-grade refrigerator units.

(Mariano is a very small park: 6400 square feet arranged in a sharply tapering scalene triangle. If you were to build out the vendor nook much more, you'd turn the space into a taxpayer-supported patio for a private restaurant,which is what happened when the local alderman dropped a full-scale Argo Tea into similarly-scaled Connors Park, a few blocks to the south.)
posted by Iridic at 9:49 AM on August 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

Mariano Park still doesn't register as a real park name for me. I need a t-shirt that says "I'm Still Calling it the Viagra Triangle."
posted by stannate at 9:52 AM on August 15, 2016 [6 favorites]

Oh dear, the need to specify [real] or [fake] is creeping out of the election threads and invading the whole world.
posted by Daily Alice at 9:53 AM on August 15, 2016 [8 favorites]

Yuppies gonna yup yup yup!
posted by ball00000ns at 9:58 AM on August 15, 2016

Wait, what, they want an Amorino?

Nothing against the chain, but it's overpriced for the gelati they sell. And they don't even have amaretto ice cream anymore which was the only reason I bought from them.
posted by sukeban at 10:05 AM on August 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

Wait, what, they want an Amorino?

Nothing against the chain, but it's overpriced for the gelati they sell.

These are not people who care about spending an extra buck on something. Even the demands for discounts aren't about the money, they're about expressing their displeasure and exerting control.
posted by Etrigan at 10:12 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

One of my favorite things about how news like this works is when "this is SERIOUS and IMPORTANT" gains widespread attention and suddenly becomes "now everyone knows you're an asshole."

A great example of this happened last year in Toronto when rich residents in a rich neighbourhood launched this big "SAVE OUR STREETS" media campaign protesting a proposed low-rise development on their street, calling it "density creep." They got absolutely hammered for NIMBYism on social media for saying things like the new houses will "only cost $500,000" which completely overshadowed any legitimate problems there may have been with the developers not following regulations.
posted by chococat at 10:14 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

wait a minute they're demanding the "Resident Discount" at the gelato shop they *like*??

how does that even

why would that

what
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 10:19 AM on August 15, 2016 [9 favorites]

If I were the owner of Amorino, that'd be a good way to keep me from ever putting a stand in that park. Imagine the demands these overgrown toddlers would make then.
posted by angeline at 10:24 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

If you want to hate everyone involved*, read this expose of the Bowtruss owner's business tactics, complete with defensive comments from Tadros himself.

*Excepting Black Dog, who are nice people with great gelato.
posted by carrienation at 10:25 AM on August 15, 2016 [5 favorites]

Yeah, I just don't even understand that discount thing. "Give me a discount for living near your store, and for you not having a stand in the park"?
posted by corb at 10:26 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

I know the article says this, but I also want to point out more loudly that the gelato they want is literally a five minute walk away.

Yeah, but it takes much more than five minutes to get there, once you account for how long it'll take for the uber to show up, and possible traffic.
posted by el io at 10:29 AM on August 15, 2016 [10 favorites]

“What I’ve told Phil is this is the wrong place to sort of half-ass it,” she said. “You’re dealing with the highest echelon of people who live in Chicago.”

They're the highest echelon? Oh, WELL then. *snorts derisively*

I love Chicago, but a jerk is a jerk in any zip code.
posted by wenestvedt at 10:32 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

On the one hand - yes, this is really a temptest in a teapot.

On the other hand - gelato is serious business.

On the third hand - oh fuck me sideways they want to replace with with an AMORINO outpost? Dude, if you want to be good hipsters you always go with the local and artisinal over the chains, every time. I didn't even hit up the Amorino stores when I was in Paris. At the very least, if you want a chain that badly go with something like Grom.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:32 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

I once had a gelato flower and it's really pretty and a huge pain in the ass to eat, especially on a melty day.

Also I wish there were good gelato in walking distance of me. There is a place that does Thai rolled ice cream, though, which is also good.
posted by jeather at 10:35 AM on August 15, 2016

They don't want to be good hipsters. They want to be rich people getting what they've been told is the best and finest, and they want it in their backyard, and they want a discount.
posted by angeline at 10:36 AM on August 15, 2016 [15 favorites]

God, I hate Bowtruss, They are now the coffee at Kanela Breakfast Club and I never want to go there now the coffee is so gross.
posted by crush-onastick at 10:37 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

The working classes are just disgusting

your majesty, the peasants are revolting!
posted by poffin boffin at 10:37 AM on August 15, 2016 [7 favorites]

Between this and the wand maker guy in the UK today is "things that are not news reported as news" day on Metafilter.
posted by GuyZero at 10:41 AM on August 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

LOSERS.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 10:42 AM on August 15, 2016

We Chicagoans are still recovering from the recent Croissant War. I fear this Gelato Rebellion may tear us apart.
posted by bdk3clash at 10:45 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

There's also a Yogurtland just up the street, but they only have bizarre, unpalatable flavors like "Koopa Troopa's Lemon Cupcake" and "Cinnamon Graham Cracker." And they don't extrude their yogurt from the pores of genuine Venetian yogurt gnomes, so why even bother
posted by Iridic at 10:46 AM on August 15, 2016 [7 favorites]

I will never ever complain about any gelato and find it all delicious. I demand a discount for my gelato omnibenevolence!
posted by Fig at 10:49 AM on August 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

You know what's REALLY good, is an orange sno-cone with a scoop of good vanilla ice cream. Now THAT is a summer treat.
posted by angeline at 10:50 AM on August 15, 2016

Between this and the wand maker guy in the UK today is "things that are not news reported as news" day on Metafilter.

Best of the web, baby. Best of the web...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:08 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm feeling like I would really despise every side in this controversy.

Dude, we're having a perfectly nice schadenfreude sesh here. Get on the right side already!

nthing that Black Dog Gelato is some really, really delicious stuff. I'm craving it now. If anything comes of this hilarious piece, I hope it goes viral and Black Dog gets more business.
posted by naju at 11:08 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

Finally, a ridiculously privileged group from Chicago that make the legendary Lincoln Park Trixies seem normal. The Republic will stand.
posted by Ber at 11:08 AM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

If you can't persuade yourself to enjoy even the worst ice cream on a hot summer day in a pretty park, maybe you should exercise a half hour until dehydration and heat exhaustion sets in.
posted by mccarty.tim at 11:08 AM on August 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

Note I say this while looking up which Indio/Pakistani ice cream shop is most worth a small road trip. Kulfi sounds sublime.
posted by mccarty.tim at 11:15 AM on August 15, 2016

HA HA i finally read the article and my god these people are awful, i hope the gelato stand keeps a bunch of those 5¢ Fla-Vor-Ice tubes that taste like cancer and madness just for them
posted by poffin boffin at 11:26 AM on August 15, 2016 [6 favorites]

woah calm down Jack
posted by naju at 11:32 AM on August 15, 2016 [6 favorites]

I understand where these people are coming from. You let a subpar gelato stand in the neighborhood and it will signal to the gangs on the south side that the neighborhood is up for grabs. You don't do something about Black Dog gelato today, the Black Disciples, Insane Popes, and the Simon City Royals will do something about it tomorrow. And trust me, they make waaay more mediocre gelato than Black Dog. The Insane Popes don't even offer pistachio!
posted by vorpal bunny at 11:33 AM on August 15, 2016 [11 favorites]

woah calm down Jack

Jesus fucking Christ. So much awfulness in so few characters.
posted by tobascodagama at 11:35 AM on August 15, 2016

Christ, what a bunch of pistachioles.
posted by delfin at 11:39 AM on August 15, 2016 [6 favorites]

I work in this neighbourhood. I mean, it's in a different city in a different country, but yeah.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:47 AM on August 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

What do we want?

MORE GENTRIFICATION!

How do we want it?

WITH LESS HIPSTERS!
posted by blue_beetle at 11:51 AM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

Black Dog's owner should take note of the customer service techniques at another Chicago food landmark and adjust their own accordingly.
posted by delfin at 11:56 AM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

Said Melisa Schwarz, a self-described Boston foodie and frequent visitor to Chicago, "After eating them both, Amorino is traditional gelato, Black Dog is not."

Speaking as a resident of the fair city, anyone who would describe him or herself as a "Boston foodie" is either trolling the midwestern culinary press, or has had one too many Narragansett poundahs.
posted by Mayor West at 11:56 AM on August 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

You could not gentrify that location any more than it already is. If the ghost of William F Buckley Jr and Eustace Tilley took up residence there, it would not be any more gentrified. It is at peak gentry. It is the Everest of gentry.
posted by adamrice at 11:57 AM on August 15, 2016 [19 favorites]

> What do we want?
MORE GENTRIFICATION!
How do we want it?
WITH LESS HIPSTERS!

Ahem. "Fewer."
posted by desuetude at 12:02 PM on August 15, 2016 [10 favorites]

"Amorino's gelato is imported from Europe..."

If it isn't made fresh every day, then it isn't gelato.
Bacio de latte in Sao Paolo have the right idea.
posted by Lanark at 12:06 PM on August 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

I will agree that any place that sells goat cheese gelato is not traditional but so what? Life is a rich tapestry with room for lots of gelato.
posted by jeather at 12:07 PM on August 15, 2016

The comments on the main article are worth skimming.
posted by zarq at 12:32 PM on August 15, 2016

(to be fair, there's a lot of old folks who live in the 1960s high rises, and they aren't typical Viagra Triangle dwellers)
posted by jeff-o-matic at 12:32 PM on August 15, 2016

Chicago sub-Reddit commenters making a case that a lot of this may be made up:

https://www.reddit.com/r/chicago/comments/4xtrbr/upset_gold_coast_residents_say_new_gelato_spot/
posted by jeff-o-matic at 12:35 PM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm pretty sure there are rich entitled assholes of all ethnicities.

Sorry to hear the gelato sucked.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 12:57 PM on August 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

This is like that time I read about artisanal toast restaurants in San Francisco and thought I was reading an Onion article then discovered it was Real News then surmised that someone was having it over on Real News.

Regardless, I envy a world where the quality of gelato is the injustice most worth fighting for.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 12:57 PM on August 15, 2016

there's a taco joint kitty corner from that park called 'Velvet Taco', which sounds like a gross euphemism,

Way too subtle for L.A. where there's a place called the Pink Taco with giant signs.
posted by bongo_x at 1:24 PM on August 15, 2016

Don't mind me. I came just came by to favorite the shit out of all of the tasty stuff I knew y'all would be saying.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:08 PM on August 15, 2016

i hope the gelato stand keeps a bunch of those 5¢ Fla-Vor-Ice tubes that taste like cancer and madness just for them

We are here at Mariano Park, where we've secretly replaced the fine gelato they usually serve with Otter Pops.
posted by Squeak Attack at 2:54 PM on August 15, 2016 [12 favorites]

I do like Black Dog. They've got a second location on Belmont and Damen, I think?

And they'll also have a stall at the shiny new food court opening Thursday at Clark and Adams.
posted by Iridic at 2:57 PM on August 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

What do we want?

MORE GENTRIFICATION!

a quibble: the Gold Coast (note the name) has been "gentrified" since like 1880.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 4:08 PM on August 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

(oops--on non-preview I see that has been covered)
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 4:10 PM on August 15, 2016

Let them eat store brand Neapolitan ice cream. With freezer burn.
posted by virago at 5:18 PM on August 15, 2016 [7 favorites]

That article on Tadros linked above originally featured Tadros taking on all commenters one at a time. This doesn't pass as legit for me , which puts me in the odd position of agreeing with reddit .
posted by zenon at 7:06 PM on August 15, 2016

artisanal toast restaurants

There's a really interesting origin story of artisanal toast in San Francisco. (Also on This American Life.) It's pretty much the opposite of what you'd think.
posted by hydrophonic at 7:23 PM on August 15, 2016 [9 favorites]

There's a really interesting origin story of artisanal toast in San Francisco. (Also on This American Life.)

Best toast of my life. Keep your avocado toast and give me ALL the Trouble toast.
posted by sallybrown at 9:15 PM on August 15, 2016

I think the $7-cereal-bowl store in NYC might look into opening a franchise branch over in that neighborhood in Chicago. Obviously their target market.
posted by seyirci at 6:00 AM on August 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

"This cereal has been sitting in milk for 2 hours and now it's soggy - I demand recompense" - fictional-but-probably-not Gold Coast resident.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:26 AM on August 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

Reminds me of the time I was shopping at a Whole Foods in NW Chicagoland, and overheard some lady going on about how in store construction was making the whole place icky and disgusting, and then making her son fill out a customer feedback form.
posted by ZeusHumms at 7:55 AM on August 16, 2016

There's a really interesting origin story of artisanal toast in San Francisco. (Also on This American Life.) It's pretty much the opposite of what you'd think.

I know "artisanal everything" is an easy trend to hate on, but nonetheless it seems obvious to me that:

* For everything it is possible to do, there are ways to do it better or worse
* When selling your labour, better results should be able command higher prices

So I'm really not bothered about $4 toast. Clearly, some people feel the labour that goes into making this toast is worth $4. If they're getting their $4 worth out of this exchange, it's none of my dang business.

And, I mean, nobody really sneers at, say, $63 million rough diamonds in the same way, even though it's literally just a pile of carbon someone is going to use as a decoration. At least the toast is edible.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:37 AM on August 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

I think the $7-cereal-bowl store in NYC might look into opening a franchise branch over in that neighborhood in Chicago. Obviously their target market.
posted by seyirci at 8:00 AM on August 16


Aaaaactuallly, around 10 years ago there was a cereal restaurant chain, Cereality in the Loop and Evanston. It did not last long, although according to the website, there's a location at DFW airport?
posted by Fig at 10:32 AM on August 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

A boutique cereal restaurant in an airport is a brilliant idea. I'm not even joking. Your airport breakfast options tend to be either greasy fast food breakfast sandwiches or pastries. If you're lucky, they'll have prepackaged yoghurt. A nice $7 bowl of cereal would be a refreshing godsend by comparison.

Plus, the price tag will seem downright reasonable given the standard airport markups.
posted by tobascodagama at 10:42 AM on August 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

For some reason, Chicago likes to pair breakfast cereal with seafood: Glenn's Diner (which I'm pretty sure featured an Apple Jack-crusted sea bass at some point) and Fahlstrom's.
posted by HeroZero at 11:34 AM on August 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

I must commend the author of the DNAInfo piece for her subtle commentary about the complaining Gold Coast residents. Note how she did not edit the emailed comments, simply electing to reprint them without cleaning up misspellings and punctuation. A case could be made that the author chose to represent the protestors with their own words, but I prefer to think her lack of editing speaks volumes.
posted by stannate at 1:08 PM on August 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

Talk about First World Problems. Jesus, what a bunch of crybabies.
posted by MissySedai at 12:58 PM on August 20, 2016

Yo guys, seriously, in less than a week I'm going to live a block away from Black Dog in Ukrainian Village.

Update: we're moved in.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 2:02 PM on August 20, 2016 [2 favorites]