Are the kids alright?

August 26, 2016 11:51 PM

Season six of American Horror Story premieres in the US on September 14th. Unlike previous seasons of the anthology, however, FX is keeping this season's theme under wraps, teasing the audience with no fewer than 19 promos, each depicting a different potential show (which themselves reference different horror movies.)

The possible "horrors" include spiders, aliens, and a doctor's unsettling orders to "try to keep it dry," but children are a common theme, leading some to wonder if that's a giveaway or misdirection. Thrillist has a roundup of fan theories.

AHS on FanFare.

posted by Room 641-A (37 comments total)

The teasers are, in fact, quite teasing. I had only seen one or two previously; thanks for sharing the lot. Looking forward to it.

It does seem like Roanoake would bring things full circle...
posted by samthemander at 12:25 AM on August 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

The Trailer and the Flea
posted by snuffleupagus at 12:36 AM on August 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

I loved the first two seasons of AHS, despite its unevenness and flaws. I slogged through 'Coven' which started with such great potential and had what I consider to be the best scene of the series (Kathy Bates is terrifying; seriously, they should have stayed in olde New Orleans) but got harder to watch each week as it approached its uneventful finale. The only good parts of 'Freak Show' involved the Twisty the clown and Dandy; I gave up on the season before it ended. I wasn't able to get too far into 'Hotel' though Evan Peters was great as usual and Mare Winningham was a treasure.

Despite all that and my own judgement, I will sample the new season and see how long I can stay invested. May God have mercy on my soul.
posted by guiseroom at 12:55 AM on August 27, 2016 [9 favorites]

Which one is the alien one?
posted by gucci mane at 1:40 AM on August 27, 2016

When Murphy's on point I think he's a great storyteller, but there are these moments in his work that make me feel spectacularly queasy. AHS is normally the type of show that's right up my alley, but there's a mean spirited underbelly to it that turns me off. I had similar problems with Glee (the way, way over the top character of Jane), Scream Queens (hypersexualized violence not protrayed ironically or satirically enough for my taste), and Nip/Tuck (that one scene where Julian makes a woman put a bag over her head during sex). I think it's great when art makes me uncomfortable, but there's a fetishization of cruelty in Murphy's work that feels hopelessly cynical and nihilistic. For the first couple of seasons I can soldier on, but I inevitably fizzle out because I just can't take the darkness anymore.

But these promos? They're BRILLIANT. Despite touching on every horror trope imaginable they're still fabulously creepy and unsettling. I wish I knew who was responsible for creating them.
posted by xyzzy at 2:11 AM on August 27, 2016 [9 favorites]

Which one is the alien one?

Crop circles, I think.
posted by thelonius at 2:46 AM on August 27, 2016

The first season of Scream Queens was a lot more fun than AHS has been for a while, though the tables could turn easily enough -- I'm not really sure Scream Queens is built to be an ongoing, and AHS: Hotel was better than Coven or Freak Show. But I think the series as a whole could use a little reimagining. They tend to build something more elaborate every year, throwing an enormous cast at a narrative that often seems to have been written on the bus on the way to school, wrapping it all up in a finale that underscores how flimsy it was. I'd love it if they split the season into fall and spring halves instead. Give a smaller cast a tighter story -- six or seven hours -- and then do a new one a few months later.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:11 AM on August 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

AHS: Sesame Street. And it will be horrifying.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 4:51 AM on August 27, 2016 [8 favorites]

The problem with American Horror Story is that they can never land the Story part of it. Every season starts very strong, Murphy's ability to set up a world and its possibilities is his strongest suit. But they throw so many asides, sub plots, moments that seem cool but completely betray established character traits, bizarre developments etc in that by the end you have no idea what the story was, who the protagonist was, what was the theme... It can be gorgeous and scary (Twisty was terrifying until they rapidly humanized and wrote him off four episodes in, like what the fuck are you doing AHS?) but it's ultimately confusing and aggravating every year. For some reason I keep watching but I've long learned not to expect a satisfying experience.
posted by yellowbinder at 6:19 AM on August 27, 2016 [18 favorites]

Season 2 was some of the most profoundly horrifying shit I've ever seen on TV.

Season 3 was a halfassed The Craft riff.

Meh.
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:24 AM on August 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

The show is usually visually inventive and has good direction and acting even if it rarely has a well crafted story. I'll keep watching it for that.
posted by codacorolla at 7:48 AM on August 27, 2016

I always enjoy the promos to AHS more than the show itself. I really liked the first season and then haven't been able to finish any of them since. I feel like I'd like it more if the seasons were half as long and Murphy were forced to keep to tight story-telling.
posted by ELind at 7:50 AM on August 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

Season 2 was the best. The Name Game scene alone was worth the ten episodes it took to get there, but when getting there involved a Satan-possessed nun singing "You Don't Own Me" to a crucifix (ep. 6)? Fuhgeddaboudit.

I was so disappointed by season 3 it still hurts to think about it.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 7:52 AM on August 27, 2016 [7 favorites]

Though even 3 had its moments.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 7:53 AM on August 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

guiseroom's assessment of the seasons mirrors my own, and, I suspect, that of many people.

There was an awesome thinkpiece on this show I saw once that described AHS as being constructed as though driven by a series of escalating dares in the writers' room... as though the writers were regularly asking each other "What is the craziest thing we could do to end this entire season?" and then cheerfully doing that in episode two, then asking the same question again and again, ramping things up ludicrously. I think maybe this urge to escalate is carrying over from season to season and making the whole thing unwieldy and impossible to sustain.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:57 AM on August 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

The trailers for the show are always super fucking creepy. Other than the first season (which I loved), I have not watched any of the seasons all the way through to the end. Somewhere between 1/2 and 3/4 of the way through, they lose me. But I have watched part of every season, and I think I might be one of the only ones who was pretty into Hotel (for awhile anyway).

Anyway, I have two theories about this season:

1. That it will be some kind of a Children of the Corn/Signs mashup, or
2. That it will somehow be an "all horror tropes" theme, kind of like Scream making fun of horror movies while still actually being a horror movie.

Also, I know it was shown in the 19 videos linked, but the best and most deliciously creepy way to watch the "Shadow" trailer is to watch it on AHS's FB page, which includes some very cool effects.

and this is also all reminding me that we're coming into horror movie season and that NONE of my friends will go see horror movies with me, which always makes me sad
posted by triggerfinger at 8:57 AM on August 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

> Season 2 was the best. The Name Game scene alone was worth the ten episodes it took to get there, but when getting there involved a Satan-possessed nun singing "You Don't Own Me" to a crucifix (ep. 6)? Fuhgeddaboudit.

I contend that when the world or television comes to an end (whichever comes first) the Name Game will be on a list of the greatest moments in TV history. It's that good with or without the context of the season and story (but so much better within the context). Not only that, it's peak Ryan Murphy, representing the collision of two of his best known works, (that scene could easily be from Glee), and peak American Horror Story -- the series will never top that moment, though it will continue to try.
posted by guiseroom at 8:59 AM on August 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

Spathe Cadet, that scene in Season 3 was one of my all-time fave AHS scenes. A friend and I just rewatched it again not even three weeks ago. Kathy Bates straight up delights me.
posted by triggerfinger at 9:13 AM on August 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Other than the first season (which I loved), I have not watched any of the seasons all the way through to the end. Somewhere between 1/2 and 3/4 of the way through, they lose me. But I have watched part of every season, and I think I might be one of the only ones who was pretty into Hotel (for awhile anyway).

That's really close to my experience, though I did watch Hotel all the way through (I just stopped caring at all about 3/4 of the way through the season). I haven't seen Season 2 at all, though, so that may just have become my weekend plans...

I'm undecided whether I'm going to watch any of this season, though. AHS is starting to feel like "That thing that makes me sleep poorly for no real benefit."
posted by lazuli at 9:29 AM on August 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

How many more accents can Jessica Lange mangle?
posted by Ideefixe at 10:14 AM on August 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

I don't know, but that scene in Coven where Lange finds out a fellow witch can start fires, and she pulls out a cigarette and asks for a light? Classic. Classic.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:20 AM on August 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

Seasons one and two definitely had their moments but it collapsed hard after that. Never going to watch this series again but I'll always cherish "What's this, KNOTTY PINE?!"
posted by Ber at 10:29 AM on August 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

I thought season one was passable, but drawn out and slow at times. I love season 2, Jessica Lange's and Lily Rabe's switch from protagonist to antagonist after the possession was great. I loved that I was rooting for a character I previously hated, and vice versa.

And then I was so. fucking. excited. about season 3 when I heard the premise. I love groups of female characters. I love witches. I love southern gothic. By all terms, I should have adored this season. But I didn't finish. It was too rapey, for one. and then how sex was treated in other ways, I just couldn't get through it. It felt so juvenile. Here's how I imagine the brainstorming session wend:
"A character murders people by having sex!!! Isn't that titillating?! *snickers at the word titillating*"

I made it about 10 minutes into Freak Show before I just decided that i didn't want to devote any more time to the series.

And then when I read about hotel, I could literally see my brain my eyes rolled so hard. It just seemed like the show wasn't even trying to hide that it had devolved into "sex and violence: the series".
posted by FirstMateKate at 11:37 AM on August 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

I was helping someone rite a history of camp TV when it hit me

AHS is the Splenda of camp.
posted by The Whelk at 12:20 PM on August 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

AHS: Ice Cream Shop
AHS: Lint Trap
AHS: Moldy Thermos
AHS: Mom's Secret Reverse Mortgage
posted by queensissy at 1:26 PM on August 27, 2016 [11 favorites]

If there were an Emmy for the vastness of the chasm between how much a show's promotional material makes me want to watch it and how completely fucking unwatchable the show turns out to be, American Horror Story would win every year, forever.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 2:24 PM on August 27, 2016 [6 favorites]

The disparity between the title sequence and the actual content of season 3 is a bit part of what put me off it so badly.
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:06 PM on August 27, 2016

I just remembered how Season 3's climax was set up to be a race war between witches which was super bad enough but then a white dude shot all the black people so we got to forget about that and focus on a series of witch tests for white witch supremacy that had only the barest setup all season and we hadn't even seen them have one witch lesson all year at their WITCH SCHOOL and they stuck Misty with dissecting a frog for eternity and ow ow ow I'd almost prefer the race war.
posted by yellowbinder at 8:55 PM on August 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

I love that Season 2 is the only one people can agree on. I thought S1 was boring but saved by great performances from the female leads. S3 was a lot of wasted potential and some problematic racial stuff. S4 dragged in the middle but IMO finished strong. S5 was just straight garbage, and I couldn't even put up with it past I think episode 3, though my partner slogged through.

"Boring but saved by great performances from the female leads" should probably be the show's tagline. I feel like Dandy Mott and Liz are the only notable performances by male actors on the show. I know other people like Evan Peters, but IMO he just shambles around looking goofy and cute. Which is fine, and obviously that appeals to a lot of people, but meh.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:57 PM on August 27, 2016

Actually, Zachary Quinto in season 2 was pretty good. So that's three memorable male performances, I guess.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:00 PM on August 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

Honestly, if there's no love in your heart for Dylan McDermott's wildly melodramatic reading of Every! Line! VIVIEN!!, then this show may just be Not For You.

I would posit that race is an AHS thing that never seems to land right; about the only time the show tried to say something about race that didn't wind up just being weird or offensive was with the '60s interracial couple in Asylum, and...I think that ended with the woman becoming an axe murderer, so maybe that was also bad? But it is a thing the show comes back to a lot, and I feel like it must be trying for something that's just out of reach. I mostly feel this way, I think, because of the Murphy-produced The People v. O.J. Simpson, which shows a very serious interest in the subject and is just a really fine show besides.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:13 AM on August 28, 2016 [3 favorites]

Honestly as long as the theme of 'tall handsome men with great asses' continues I'll watch it.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 12:37 PM on August 28, 2016 [2 favorites]

When that show Salem came out, my sister and I couldn't make it past the first episode. I started calling American Horror Story: Pilgrims in jest. Now I found out this season of American Horror Story is most likely going to be set during colonial times, and I'm just. I don't even know what to say.
posted by FirstMateKate at 4:25 PM on August 28, 2016

Honestly, if there's no love in your heart for Dylan McDermott's wildly melodramatic reading of Every! Line! VIVIEN!!, then this show may just be Not For You.

Ever since we saw ole' Dylan cry while masturbating, my better half and I have turned watching the show into a bit of a ritual. Pull out the jigsaw puzzles, some wine, the iPad and some Netflix tuned to AHS. It's some quality sobwank time.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:32 PM on August 28, 2016

So maybe colonial times for this one? But probably with anachronistic musical numbers, modern day slang, and a twist in episode 2 where it's actually a sophisticated computer game where if you die in game then you die for real?
posted by codacorolla at 7:33 AM on August 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

American Horror Story: Aristocrats

Oh, wait, that was Hotel.
posted by tobascodagama at 7:56 AM on August 29, 2016

Maybe we'll finally revisit the unexplained (gratuitous?) aliens from season 2.
posted by Eideteker at 2:20 PM on August 29, 2016